But, Peter, how do we get to Never Land

Have you heard of this guy?

He thinks he is Peter Pan. For realz. This "boy" dances around the United States dressed like Peter Pan and he even married Tinker Bell which if you really think about it is kind of creepy

Last November while at the airport picking up some of my besties for another weekend of sinning the following transpired

Joe comes up to me after going to get a cup of coffee and informs me that he just saw Robin Hood. In our airport. I looked at him like he was stupid and he kept insisting that he saw Robin Hood. A guy dressed in a Renaissance looking get up complete with tights.

Now I have actually HEARD of this guy before through a friend of mine but quickly burned the image from my brain and never thought of him again. Unlike my friend Kelly who was in town from Long Island and immediately knew it HAD to be the Peter Pan guy. Right, because Columbus does not have it's own fair share of freaks in tights?

so like the assholes we are we tore off in the direction Joe saw him. He was not hard to find. And like the asshole I am I went right up to him and asked him if he was that "guy from the Internet" to which he replied "I am that boy". I am not exaggerating when I say he look beat up. Like he had had a rough night with the other lost boys the night before. His endeavour to not grow up was failing because Randy Pan looked OLD

But instead of (verbally) judging him I did what any other person who do if they met Peter Pan at the airport. I asked for a picture.

Sadly for Kelly and I, he was all out of pixie dust

Holy Crap

I better start kicking my blog up into high gear again because tomorrow I will be among celebrities!!! I honestly don't know if I am cool enough to roll with these girls but I will give it my best!!

Tomorrow I will be a featured blogger at Aiming Low who I came across from reading Barefoot Foodie These ladies are some awesome writers and never fail to make me laugh to the point of piddling. Just me that does that? um. never mind.

Anyways, tomorrow my infamous goose post will be featured! I'm excited and a little nervous to put myself out there in my current state of writers block.

One more thing before I sign this one off. My friend Amy has a sister (whom I also love) that is RIGHT NOW having brain surgery. Their OTHER sister Ryann is one of my BFF's Please keep Jil and her family in your thoughts and prayers. These ladies are awesome and I love them so much!!

Texas Weekend Recap

I am sitting at my desk trying not to fall asleep. I have consumed much caffeine today in an effort to stay awake. I had another awesome weekend with my girlfriends....another one of those weekends where it takes me most of the week to recover from the lack of sleep and over consumption of alcohol

Kelly and I got to Texas Friday night and were picked up by the rest of the girls. We headed to a fanfreakingtastic Mexican place for dinner and margaritas! Back to the hotel where we proceeded to fit 8 of us in a 2 bedroom suite. Do the math people and it equals 3 girls in one king bed, 2 in another, 2 on a pull out couch and MOI in the kitchen on a blow up mattress. I have not slept in such a random place since an incident in a parking garage in Canada.

Sat day we kept it low key.....a little shopping, a little lunch and a little nap before getting all hussied up to hit a 2 step bar. Guess what....I don't 2 step. Lauren took me for a little spin around the floor and I did not trip over myself but I certainly did not impress anyone.

Pocket Edward also had an excellent time revisiting his state of orgin. Since I was going to visit the girl who sent him to me I had to take him with yes?

Rocking his cowboy boots y'all
Even vampires look hot as cowboys

Stopping to "catch" some lunch. Not mountain lion but it will do

I know I have mention this before on this blog but I love these girls. I am so blessed to have awesome girlfriends....the ones I have had since college, the ones I have at work and "those Internet friends" My liver may disagree with these weekends though that is for sure. By the time we were done with that hotel room I swear all we were missing were a baby in the closet and a tiger in the bathroom. Bonus points if you get that reference.

I love you guys and I wish we could see each other more often. Although if we did it may have to involve a rehab facility. Or the nut house. Whatevs.

And A Kindle In a Pear Tree.....

Oops, my blog missed Christmas. Santa did not come for my blog because, well, let's face it. My blog WAS very naughty last year

Let me do a recap of the last month(ish). My birthday came and went (more on my gift in a bit)I'm finding that 34 is not much different that 33 was so no big drama there. Joe and I finished Christmas shopping at the last minute....as usual. Wrapped at the last minute.....as usual and I cursed my way through finding him a gift....AS USUAL.

This is the part where I get sidetracked because I did not plan this rant until just now. I can give you a list about a mile long of things that would be an awesome gift for me at any given moment. Truly. Don't get me wrong...I loooove to give presents. Love it. But I'm not ashamed to admit that I also love to receive them. Joe is NEVER at a loss for what to buy me for Christmas or my birthday. Him on the other hand.....he SUCKS to buy for. So hard. Do you watch that new show out called the Modern Family? If so you will get this when I say he almost got 5 hugs and a visit from Spandeau Ballet. Don't watch the show? Then you will have NO idea what that means. Rant over.

The kids were much spoiled this year. Big hits in our house were a Nintendo DS for Pierce....which I think came with a side of crack because he has barely put it down in 4 days and an easel with art stuff for Mallory. I was spoiled a bit every this year too! I got a Kindle and I am in LOVE with it. Bet you can't guess what the very first book I put on it was? I also scored a bottle of bubble vodka (yum) some perfume, an Archivers gift card and a case of wine. Yep, a case.

We actually have PLANS for New Year's Eve. We are going to a party at THIS GIRL'S house where I will once again manage to elude THIS GUY
and keep my true identity a secret.

This brings me back to my birthday. My present this year is a plane ticket that is taking me to HOUSTON!!! No, not with Joe....the best gift ever is a weekend with your GIRLS right? So I am hoping a plane with the above noted New Year's Eve party giver to go to Houston to visit THIS GIRL (don't bother, she never updates), this biatch, this girl, going to cut THIS GIRL, hopefully get to make out with THIS GIRL and her non blogging sister as well as a few other of my besties. Yep, going to have a weekend with "those Internet friends" If you missed last year's debacle (one of them) it can be found HERE. Whew, that was a lot of links

It has only been a few months for most of us but we are finding that this whole "long distance relationship" thing really sucks. I miss them more each day and cannot wait until we are back together....in Houston....for a boot scootin good time YA'LL

So there you are caught up to the last month or so in my world. I'm going to try and get better and being here more often (Jodi, I'm talking to YOU) and I hope everyone had a MERRY CHRISTMAS

New Moon Review

I know this is a bit late but better late then never right?

I need to preface this review by letting you all in on a little secret. I carry Edward in my purse. Some of you may remember my awesome friend known as Mama Loco...I'm not bothering to link because she has not updated her blog in forever. Melissa sent me a little present about a month ago....Edward the action figure. I have since done a number of fun things with him (minds out of the gutter please) that I may save for another day. He escorted me to see New Moon

Along with Pocket Edward were my good friends Laura, Erin, Bree, Brandy, and my Mother. Yeah, my mom came too. We kicked off our night at California Pizza Kitchen for drinks. Edward got carried away with the Sangria. I swear, you cant take him anywhere. I did not mind though, easier to take advantage of him when he has been drinking

After drinks we went to get in line to get in line. Yep, that's right. There was a line at the bottom of the escalators that lead up to the theater. As you can imagine it was a 98% female crowd. Guarding the entrance way was a tool that problem has never been around so many women in his life and was clearly enjoying the fact that HE was in charge of when we got to go in.

While we waited....the following things may or may not have happened.
-I saw a little girl with a cooler Edward doll than mine and contemplated stealing it
-Security guards arrived to make sure there was not a riot
-My mom worked her way to the front of the line and tried to bribe the guy to let her in

Once the douche blocking the way to my happiness stopped acting like he was guarding the Mona Lisa moved it was total mayhem up the escalator. My mom and I leading the way!! Its possible I even pointed teenagers in the wrong direction when they asked me which way to the theater.

Once we got to the hall where the theater was we had to wait AGAIN for the following show to let out and for the theater to be cleaned. Honestly this crowd would have taken a dirty theater. When the prior show let out they just built up our suspense by shrieking about how awesome it was! The rush to get seats was not too bad. We scored seats in the middle, half way up. Perfect! I was afraid that Pocket Edward and I would be stuck straining our necks in the very front row

We waited with baited breath for the movie to start. Calls of "TEAM EDWARD" and "TEAM JACOB" being called out here and there. Pocket Edward was overwhelmed with love from his fans.

And apparently by the flash on my Blackberry.

The movie was AWESOME. In my opinion so much better than Twilight which I also loved. I loved how the director gave more "character" to some of the non main characters and I thought the wolves were done very well. No complaints about the lack of shirts either. I did come out of it still TEAM EDWARD but I think others may have shifted to the dark side. I loved it so much I have actually seen it a 2nd time. I cannot freaking WAIT until Eclipse (thankfully not a full year) and will just have to find ways to entertain myself with Pocket Edward (minds out of the gutter) until then.

Have you seen my creativity?

Because I sure as hell have not. I have looked, I'm considering putting up an award for it.

Part of my problem I know is that I have changed jobs within my company. No longer am I working in the awesome call center environment that allowed me the free time between calls to actually LISTEN to the voices in my head and put those thoughts here for your reading pleasure. This also explains the crappy job I have been doing commenting on the 200 blogs I keep in my reader. I'm back to actually carrying a physical work load of files versus waiting on the next call to come in. What is funny is that I fought tooth and nail that I was NOT going into the call center with a college degree thankyouverymuch. Yeah, joke was on me. I loved it and I cannot wait to go back.

So what to blog about today? I could talk all about how Pierce is kicking ass in flag football...now that he gets that he only pulls the flag from the OTHER team. I could tell you how I shelled out $100 for Mallory to be a cheerleader for his team only to have her cheer one game and decide she hated it. Man that sucked because she looks SO cute in that outfit with those little pom poms.

Oh, I could blog about how I totally SUCK at dieting and how Joe has lost 13lbs doing weight watchers.....I lost 5 and then had to be on steroids for 2 weeks and gained it back!

I could also tell you about my new crackberry blackberry and how I squeal in delight every time I get a new IM or find something new that it does

But.....I should probably get back to reading medical records and making decisions on those darn insurance applications.

1st Annual Run for Row 5K Memorial Run

I made it back from Buffalo in one piece. Barely. I cannot even tell you what an honor it was to share this weekend with Andrea and her beautiful family. Her strength is amazing, she is beautiful, her babies are beautiful. It was awesome to see over 300 people come together in memory of her husband Matt.

This weekend was SUPPOSED to be low key....our lovely hostess had other plans and surprised us with a buffet and OPEN BAR at a restaurant the night we all got in. Things went a little downhill that night but it was sooooooo worth it. Sunday morning however was a little rough. We all made it to the run (barely) and the girls who ran it did AWESOME!!!! I was SO SO proud of them. I never intended to run it but once I saw people finishing 20 minutes in me and a few others thought we would be better suited to cheer our friends in and take pictures as they crossed the finish line. In other words, we bailed. But, we were there to support Andrea and the awesome charity for her kids and that was the important part for me.

Andrea, I love you to pieces....I love your kids to pieces. GOOD LUCK with the move this week. Can't wait till we can all come and ascend on you in LA

Sat night, before things got fuzzy.

Toasting to Matt...can you look close and guess which hand is mine?

Matt's family all wore shirts with his picture on the back, such a handsome man.....

All of us together post race. Not to bad since most of us were hungover. Andrea is in the very front in black.

Before we left yesterday AM. My car is a bit notorious because I have a personalized plate, a Mickey Mouse hitch cover and family stickers with Mickey Mouse hats. It's how I roll and they are all just jealous.


I'm going to let you use your imagination on the details of the weekend. It was not AS bad as the trip in Feb (though I did not puke on THAT trip...but I also was not drinking wine out of a carafe on that trip either) We had so much fun and even though I miss my friends, my liver is so glad we can only do this a few times a year.

Bittersweet

Tonight I am heading to Cleveland with my good friend Kelly to pick up 2 more of my friends so that tomorrow morning we can head to Buffalo. I am so very happy to be seeing some of my bestest friends this weekend but so very sad for the reason that we are getting together.

Last fall my sweet friend Andrea lost her husband in an accident that sadly could have been prevented by his company. Now Andrea is raising her young kids without the love of her life. Believe it or not I have yet to meet Andrea even though I have known her for at least 5 years through my mommy board. Even though I have never met her, I love her dearly, and I have cried many tears for her, Matt and their babies.

This weekend about 20 girls from our mommy board are coming together to support Andrea in the first annual Run For Row 5k. In which I will be walking, not running thankyouverymuch. I have no doubt that we will laugh ourselves stupid and have fun being together again but on the flip side I also know there will probably be some tears as we support our friend who in the past 9 months has had more on her plate then anyone should. While we love being together....especially since it only happens a few times a year, I wish it was not because Matt died.

Andrea, I know you probably wont read this for awhile (although reading my blog should take priority over, ohhh, MOVING right?) but I am so happy to be able to come and support you this weekend. I just wish we were meeting under different circumstances. Hopefully the train wreck that is this group of girls will make you laugh as much as we can this weekend!

In case you missed my last weekend trip with my mommy board besties....you can read about it HERE. I think it is a good thing that God did not allow us all to live in the same place.

Napping 101

I slept like it was my job this weekend. It was awesome. Napping ranks up there with reading and scrapbooking as one of my favorite things to do. When I nap, I mean it. None of this half asleep on the couch with the TV on crap that Joe likes to call a nap.

some most weekends I nap with Mallory. After lunch we go up into my bed (awesome habit I know)to start the process that is the nap. Jammies must be worn, a true nap cannot be had in clothes. I turn the fan on (love me some white noise) pull the blinds closed, pick the poodle up (she also is a fan of the nap) and snuggle in with Mallory.

This mother/daughter/poodle bonding usually lasts 1.5-2 hours but this weekend naps lasted 3 hours on both days. I suppose I should be ashamed of myself but I dont. I have insomnia issues at night. I don't know why but it takes me at least an hour to fall asleep every night. Meanwhile next to me is Joe snoring his face off and making me contemplate smothering him with a pillow. Add that to the fact that I never sleep through the night EVER and you get why my blog is titled so.

Other than napping I did have a few fun moments this weekend. My BFF from high school had her TWINS on Saturday. That is better than ME having twins because I get to love them and send them home. Also I got to spend some time with Kelly and Nicole (and where were YOU)

Are you saving up your kids' goodies for this weeks "The Kids Said WHAT?" I already have a tasty nugget from Pierce....that involves GEESE.

Happy Monday!

My Life According To.......

My life, according to...
The rules to this game are:
1) Answer the questions as well as you can, but using only song names from one artist.
2) Try not to repeat a song title
3) Pick your own artist, leave mine alone (to quote someone).
4) Tag a bunch of friends. Tag, you're it.

So I first saw this on The Wife O Riley's blog and I thought it would be super fun to do. I thought about what singer/band I would use. And I thought MADONNA....she is awesome, she is timeless....she is already used on Tooj's Blog. Well Crap. Then I thought about Sarah McLachlan or the Indigo Girls but they were a little too obscure. Well, who else do I love? Duh, The New Kids!!

So here is my life according to them!

1. Are you a male or female? Cover Girl
2. Describe yourself: Hangin Tough
3. How do you feel? Twisted
4. Describe where you currently live: Games (toys anyway)
5. If you could go anywhere, where would you go? New Kids on The Block (this IS a song and since they don't have one about a tropical destination I will have to use this...)
6. Your favorite form of transportation: Step by Step
7. Your best friend is: My Favorite Girl
8. Your favorite color is: White Christmas (okay, not really but this is HARD)
9. What's the weather like? Summertime
10. Favorite time of day: Tonight
11. If your life was a TV show, what would it be called? Call It What You Want
12. What is life to you? The Right Combination
13. Your relationships: I'll Be Loving You (Forever)
14. Your fear: If You Go Away
15. What is the best advice you have to give? Baby, I Believe In You
16. If you could change your name, you would change it to:-Mrs Right
17. Thought for the day: This One's for the Children
18. How I would like to die: Dirty Dancing
19. My soul's present condition: Keep on Smilin'
20. My motto: Don't Cry

One final note....I think I am going to use THURSDAYS for my edition of "The kids said WHAT?" You have a week to stalk up on their juicy bits of random. Have fun!

The Parade of Homes makes me sad, how I spent my weekend blind, and I heart New Kids on the Block

This past week has been a bit on the crazy side. I did not post much last week and I finally figured out why. Not only was I crazy busy but a little crisis hit my family last week that pretty much took a big steamy one on my desire to try and come up with anything fun for the blog. I did not post about it here in my desire to pretend all is well in the world of me. Anyways, last Saturday my mom had a TIA which is a mini stroke. It sounds much worse than it is but it still sucked. She was taken to the ER after the left side of her body went numb and she could not walk very well. By the time I got there that morning they had ruled out major stroke and her symptoms were going away. A TIA has stroke like symptoms but there are no permanent problems like with a major stroke. She was not admitted, they sent her home and she has since had some tests with her Dr and nothing has shown up. So, I spent most of last week calling her every 5 seconds to check on her, hung out with her on Monday and finally just as of this weekend have chilled out a little. I was even able to toss her a couple "don't have a stroke mom" jokes. Now my biggest concern is that her and my step dad who is retired are home together for ANOTHER week of marital bonding and I hope that they don't kill each other

While I was not calling my mommy every 2 seconds I had a few dates this past week. None were with my husband so I did not have to put out which is always a bonus. On Wed I went with BFF Brandy to see the new Harry Potter movie which was FANTASTIC. Also fantastic were the 2 sangria's I sucked down prior to the movie. Even more fantastic is that I did not have to leave the movie to go potty one time....yeah for my bladder.

Thursday's date was with BFF Jenn to our annual buzz kill called the Parade of Homes. We spent 2 hours hating people we don't know for having houses WAY cooler than ours. Some of my favorite's this year....a theater room with a planetarium type ceiling, huge walk in showers with no doors and heated floors, wine cellars and vacuums built into secret holes in the wall. Even I would run the sweeper if I could just pull a hose out of the wall in each room. After pretending I was rich I went home to clean cat vomit off of the floor and wipe up my non ceramic kitchen counters.

Friday. Sigh, oh Friday. Friday morning as I lay in bed with my evil precious daughter.....the one who needs to START SLEEPING IN HER OWN BED I reached over and pulled a "mom". By that I mean I went to swipe a booger out of her nose with my finger. And she put her finger in my eye. In her effort to swat my hand away she stabbed me in the eye with her pointy little finger. I swear I saw fireworks. I had to call Joe because I could not see, make him come home and we had to go to the ER. I had lasik not even a year ago and I was so scared that she jacked up my "flap" which is the cut they have to make to fix your eye. 2 hours later I leave with a diagnosis of 2 corneal abrasions, some eye drops, and an RX for vicodin. Really? Vicodin? They also tried to give me a tetanus shot which I declined....it was a finger nail, not a rusty nail (Nurse Heather, Nurse Janeen, want to weigh in on why they tried to stick me?) The last time I took that I had a BABY cut out of me. Now, that is not the biggest crisis of Friday. The biggest crisis of Friday was that I had a date with BFF Liz to watch the web cast of the New Kids on the Block concert at her house. And I was NOT missing it. She had to come and get me (thanks!!) since I could not see out of one eye and take me back to her place. The concert was AWESOME. Even out of one eye. My vision is STILL not back to 100%...it was better on Sat (meaning I could open the other eye)but still not perfect. Hopefully in a few more days. So, how was YOUR week?

A Plethora Of Randomness

So I thought about a blog post today but really I have nothing going on up in my head but a whole lot of random. I will share it with you. You're Welcome

This past weekend we went to the Kalahari which is a super awesome indoor water park up by Lake Erie. Pierce looooooooves the Kalahari, loves it so much that it is usually a fight when we have to leave. Some observations from our time there...

Mallory spent a week bitching at the beach. She did however enjoy the water park. She played in the toddler area and even let herself get wet. At one point she even sat at the very edge of the wave pool. Does anyone see the irony in this?

Why do teenagers (and in some cases adults) feel the need to wear the smallest bikini ever to a WATER PARK. Do you want your boobs to pop out? I fear that in most cases the answer to this is yes.

Some people who wear bikinis should not. Period

I am OLD not as young as I used to be. I don't recall needing to take an Aleve after a day of water park fun when I was younger. Water slides hurt your back.

The lazy river is meant to be LAZY. I wanted to drown asshole kids who were running through it with no flotation device to be seen

Mallory was supposed to start pre-school today. Keep in mind that pre-school is down the hall in the same building from where her toddler class is. She knew she was supposed to go to a new class today and she talked a good game over the weekend. Today she told me that she would go in 5 days. She was dropped off in the toddler class so as not to traumatize her. And by her I mean her new teachers

My sister and I have been in a disagreement for a few months that involves her treatment of our mother. That is putting it nicely. Today I tried to talk to her over text about how we needed to act like adults around her and not get into some screaming match that will stress out our mom. I asked her if she thought we could manage that and she told me to go fuck myself. I guess that answers that question.

I have 2 dates this week and neither of them are with my husband. I'm kind of excited because since they are not with my husband I wont have to put out. The first is on Wed with BFF B. I am going to see the much anticipated new Harry Potter movie. I cannot freaking wait! Friday I have a date with BFF Liz....we are going to the New Kids on the Block concert. Okay, we are streaming it live into her big screen TV but don't think I still wont throw my panties at them and lick the screen. I'm sure BFF Liz wont mind so long as I am not licking Donnie.

Happy Monday!

I am the bestest most awesome-est wife EVER if I do this....right?

So BFF Liz has informed this this morning that the New Kids on the Block just so happen to be in DC at the same time as ME! Quelle' Coincedence......I had the AWESOME idea to buy tickets and surprise Joe with them. Oh, he would be surprised. I could tell him that they were for HIM.....you know, cuz he won this big award. How thoughtful of me to surprise him with concert tickets while we are away. Wonder what would happen if I actually did this.

I mean that would really only benefit him because I would get all hot and bothered at the concert and.....well, you know. Again, win win for him. I am SUCH a good wife. hmmmmmm

No, I did not actually DO this. Not that I did not think about it. Still waiting on him to call me back so I can ask him if we can go and listen to him say hells no

Off to DC tomorrow!! I will update when I can, pray my little one does not pine away for her mommy while we are gone.....the big one is like "BYE, See you when you get back

PS I had a request from Sara for additional chapters to the "I Hate Geese" saga....I will have to get into this when I get back but the bastard office geese are gone for the season. And no I did not kill them.

Not Me Monday

Here we go again!! It is MONDAY. Time to fess up to all of the things you did NOT do last week. Head on over to MckMama's to link up and see what everyone else has NOT been doing!

I did NOT realize that I need to remember to NOT keep track of all of this stuff during the week so that when Monday rolls around I do NOT find myself sitting here trying to remember all that did NOT transpire in the previous week.

I did NOT purposely park close to the Baby Mama goose on purpose more than once last week. I did NOT tell myself that I am better than that goose and I will park where I want....only people who are slightly unstable would carry such a personal vendetta against a GOOSE. NOT ME.

Thursday night did NOT have Joe and I traveling to the fine Wright Patterson Air force base so that Joe could NOT accept award #1 for that awesome national award he did NOT win earlier this year. I do NOT think of this first award as him accepting the "Miss Ohio" version and later when we go to DC next month he will NOT be accepting the Miss Universe National award.

Last Friday did NOT make me want to cry because no possible way did my BABY turn 3. We are NOT going to talk about it because I'm NOT sad that my baby is 3......

This past weekend was NOT drill weekend for Joe.....I do NOT hate drill weekend and cringe every month when it comes around. This past weekend Joe did NOT have guys night after Saturday's drill and just stay out at the base....which had me NOT enjoying some alone time Sat. night drinking wine and playing wii after the kids were in bed. I did NOT enjoy that alone time at all......

Saturday afternoon before said alone time I did NOT pack the kids out and head to a friends house to have a play date. Erin and I did NOT get annoyed every time we had to get off of our lawn chair to push a kid on the swing because we were NOT AT ALL hoping they would entertain each other and let us be for a bit. I did NOT take some great shots of the kids playing

Rach Rachel

Lil Lily

and Mallory.....I do NOT get irritated to never get any good pics of Pierce......

Erin and I did NOT decide to feed our kids a SUPER nutritious dinner at Wendy's so we packed them up and then proceeded to NOT get caught in a monsoon running from our cars inside.

I did NOT spend a part of the weekend bitter and cranky that I was not on the NKOTB cruise with BFF Liz....we did NOT talk about the twitter pics a few times over the weekend and how we hate all those girls that were there.

Happy Monday!!

(PS---Im NOT AT ALL getting pissed to keep coming in to edit and trying to fix my paragraphs so that they do not smoosh together....It is NOT making me crazy thinking that I might NOT have to edit HTML....which I do NOT hate doing....Im NOT thinking that you can just deal with smooshed paragraphs)

Once a Whore Always a Whore

well I did not win a blog make over (damn you Aileigh) but I would LOVE to win this stash from one of my favorite people both in real life and here in the blog world.

So here I am whoring for another give-a-way.....

mama-loco (ohhh, lookie, I linked more that one word!!) is celebrating her 100th post. I heart this girl a whole lot so go visit her and check out her give-a-way


Happy 100th Mellisa! Love you bitch!

Hello to all of the Blog Stalkers and my NKOTB recap

So I am the top blog over at Blog Stalkers Unite this week. HELLO!!!! If you have never been here before welcome....a little warning.....I sometimes use dirty words and make fun of people, places and things....other than that I am pretty cool!! I have an awesome husband and 2 kids that prevent me from sleeping.....they are 5 and almost 3. Here are some of the best of the best.....or the worst of the worst....you pick!

TheTaleoftheDragonandtheQueen or why I hate geese

I get cranky when you don't say my name correctly

I used to be cool

I hate winter

Mommies gone wild

Give your period the respect that it deserves

pee standing up. you know you want to

And for those of you who already know me.......let me just say.....BEST. NIGHT. EVER. Sorry to have left you all Hanging (Tough <----like that New Kids humor) but alas I did not run away with Joey McIntyre this weekend. Though not for lack of desire trust me. My husband dropped me and BFF Jess of at the bar to meet BFF Liz and our awesome DD Paul.....we drank until the show started. Okay, and during. When those lights went out and those HOT HOT guys (except for 2 of them) came up out of that stage I thought I was going to pee my pants. They are AWESOME!!!! 20,000 screaming women.....I took some video but you can hardly hear it because of all of the screaming. My voice is shot to hell today and I think I am still hungover but it was one of the best times I have ever had!

The average age was probably early 30s.....some girls came out in New Kids shirts (my favorite was the pregnant chick with her shirt all tight around her baby bump) some girls had HUGE buttons, some had signs. It was INSANE.

If they come your way and you loved them back then....you will love them 100 times more now! I totally wanted to stalk their hotel room like the 90210 kids did for Color Me Badd.

When DD Paul dropped me off at my house I spent 5 minutes trying to get my key in the door only to hear later that Joe left the door unlocked for me. Yeah vodka!!

Sorry I don't have pics.....they are on facebook and I cant get on there from work.

Today is the day.....13 year old Cammie finally lives her dream......

First let's go back........the year is 1988.....the scene....my bedroom. My bangs are teased high, my eye-shadow is blue. My jeans are tight rolled and my Eastlands have the laces wound into those little springs. I'm wearing Debbie Gibson Electric Youth perfume. That's right....Debbie Gibson....not Deborah like she goes by now.


My clock radio is on and across the room my boombox has a tape in, the record button pressed. I am silent because that is truly the only way to get a good recording of the song.

My little sister busts in the door and ruins it. All you can hear in the middle of the song is me shushing her and telling her to get out of my room.


The song......honestly I don't remember the exact song but the group is the New Kids on the Block. They rule my world. Their posters all over my room. Someday I will meet Joey McIntyre and run away with him.


I never got to go to a New Kids concert. I know......hard knock life.

Today--The scene......My kitchen. Kids demanding their pop tarts. I no longer have bangs but I do rock my mom cut. Sometimes my eye shadow is still blue thanks to MAC makeup and my jeans....well they are just tight.


Tonight......tonight I am going to see the New Kids on the Block. My husband will drop me off downtown in my mini van and I will realize my dream! Along with BFF Liz , BFF Jess and hundreds of other screaming women in their 30's I will sing Hangin Tough, Please Don't Go Girl, and I'll Be Loving You Forever. Oh yes, I will sing.....I will dance.....I might even cry tears of joy.

I was always a Joey McIntyre girl. Remember him....the sweet baby faced Joey? How I loved him.


In fact I MET him a few years ago. Next to the births of my children and my wedding day it is one of the best days EVER. Remember he was in a little show called Dancing With the Stars? Well he came with the tour and my mom won tickets (give me some credit, I did not buy THOSE tickets) and I waited in line like a giddy school girl to get his autograph and hear him speak my name. I touched him. I HAD a picture on my cell phone but the Joe I MARRIED did not hit the damn save button and by the time I realized it we were already home. He almost died that night.

Joey looks like THIS now. Still hot in my eyes.

I cannot wait to hear him sing Please Don't Go Girl. Because I never did go....I have held on to my love for the New Kids over the past 20 years. I knew they would come back....all grown up and hot (well, most of them) and now they sing about doing dirty things.....not just about crushes and first kisses. Mmmmmm. Oops, sorry.

I'm having a hard time concentrating today. Maybe because I have the New Kids blaring in my ears through my iPod.

Oh yes.....today is a good day. Think of me tonight at 7PM......

Things That Chap Me Arse

Since it IS St Patty's day I went with the Irish titled version of "Little Pet Peeves Tuesday" hosted by the lovely Melissa over at Mama-Loco. Since Melissa is one of my real life besties I suppose I had better respond to her gentle request on her blog that I participate in her Tuesday game. Please note that I am typing this list of TOTAL randomness in my head in the voice of Desmond from lost (brotha) in keeping with my Irish theme.

First off.....MAN is it annoying when someone shouts you out on their blog and pressures you into coming up with things that piss you off. I am SUUUUUCH a happy person (thank you meds) that actually being forced to go into a dark place and make myself angry....on purpose....pisses me off. mmmmmmmWAH.

My dryer. You know, the one in my house. It is really on my list these days. It keeps shrinking my clothes. damn dryer

People who begin speaking the SECOND I pick up the phone at work without first offering me a hello, their name, screw you, nothing.

The chick at daycare who always sound like a 5 year old tattle tale when I pick up my kid. I have not seen him for 8 hours....don't greet me with "Pierce had trouble listening at circle time today" Trust me, I know he is not an angel, I'm his mother. Let me hug him and THEN tell me if he has been a pain in the arse.

Target. Yep, the store. These past few days I have been searching in vain for 90210 Season 3 on DVD (the original 90210). Season 3 is by FAR the best what with the whole Brenda/Dylan/Kelly drama. I'm almost finished with season 2 and every Target I have been to (BOTH OF THEM) is sold out of season 3. I had to ORDER it on Amazon and pay shipping. You would think the people who control such things would know that since season 3 is the BEST it is imperative that there be PLENTY on their shelves. Pay attention Target....don't make me switch to Wal-Mart

That's really all I got...If you want to play along with Melissa and have a great vent session go check her out. I will try and do a better job of paying attention to things that piss me off this week.....but like I said....I'm full of sunshine and roses allllll the time. Takes a lot to rattle my chains......

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Since I forgot to write everything down this past week I am NOT going to be pulling stuff out of thin air.

The most important thing that did NOT happen this past week......I did NOT spend all day Thursday in a foul mood because BFF NYKelly was in here in Ohio for a meeting and would be unable to get together due to time constraints. Then when she called with about one hour of free time I did NOT fly out of work like the building was on fire to go meet her at the Airport to have a quick drink with her compliments of her (hot) boss. If that had happened it would have been the highlight of my week because I heart her big time.

Friday night was NOT spent at a Mexican restaurant with my work BFFs consuming margaritas and chips and salsa. We did NOT have conversations of an R rated nature in a family restaurant...I wont name names but there was NOT homework of a dirty nature assigned which apparently was rated A+ the next day.

We also did NOT buy a pop up camper this weekend. If we had, I know that this may come to a surprise to some of you because what kind of high maintenance girl goes camping? I am NOT super excited about this.....my kids are NOT going to love it at all.....If we HAD bought a pop up camper it would be because this high maintenance girl actually LOVES to camp. As long as it is not in a tent.

I was NOT super excited to ship Joe off to play poker one night this weekend. I love spending every waking breathing moment with my husband and I did NOT have a hard time deciding if I should rent a movie or catch up on Desperate Housewives....in the end I did NOT do both.

Yesterday when Mallory and I laid down to take a nap at 12:30 we did NOT sleep until 4:00. Oops. I imagine that if we had taken a 3.5 hour nap that would have resulted in Mallory being awake and ready to party like a rock star until 3AM this morning. In my bed. If that had happened then I would be one super cranky tired mommy this morning who was also NOT late to work because she had some motivational issues.

Happy Monday. I'm NOT about to fall asleep at my desk.

100th post and I want 100 Comments!!

Wow. It seems like I just started blogging and was all concerned that no one would care to read it. 100 posts and 72 followers later here we are! Thank you all for feeding my obsession with myself, my kids, Edward Cullen, and putting up with my sarcastic sense of humor....or lack there of

For the big 100 I thought I would highlight 100 things that I love. In groups of 10.....

The Rambler gave me a great idea to try and get 100 comments on my 100th post so please go tell your friends to come and worship me.....attention whore that I am. Go give me some love on your blog!! If you are brand shiny new and want to fall in love with me at first sight..and who would'nt....then read THIS It is a tale of bravery in the face of loss......

Ready. Go.

My top 10 Favorite books (or series since Twilight would take up 4 books) in no particular order

1)The Twilight Series. Duh
2)The Harry Potter Series
3)The Great Gatsby
4)Flowers in the Attic
5)The Shopaholic Series
6)The Time Traveler's Wife
7) Snow Flower and the Secret Fan
8) My Sister's Keeper
9)A Million Little Pieces (yes even after the truth came out)
10)The Gossip Girl Series


10 favorite movies
1)Dirty Dancing--"Nobody puts baby in the corner"
2)Goonies-"Hey, you guys!"
3)Twilight---Duh....
4)The Breakfast Club (words to live by:Andrew: "Why do you have to insult everybody?"John Bender: "I'm being honest, asshole. I would expect you to know the difference.")
5)Titanic-"I'll never let go...."
6)Beaches-But enough about me, let's talk about you... what do YOU think of me?
7)Shag the Movie-"Y'all is the horniest bunch of white folks I ever seen!"
8)Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory-you cannot beat lickable wallpaper...wonder if it comes in Merlot?
9)The Parent Trap-(the original one) "I'm not saying a word. Not one single word."
10)Sixteen Candles "Oh sexy giiiiirrlllllfrieeeeeend"


10 Favorite TV Shows
1)Lost-even though I want to bang my head on a wall while watching it
2)House-yeah, um. Can he be my gynecologist. Yes I DID just go there
3)Bones-however if Booth and Bones don't get busy soon I may stop watching

4)America's Next Top Model--FIERCE

5)American Idol-after the auditions....those make me crazy

6)Beverly Hills 90210 Dyan and Kelly were SO soulmates

7)90210--trying to bring back the olden days but doesn't QUITE hit it....still love it through

8)Intervention--I love being reminded that some people are more jacked up than I am

9)Cold Case--this is my secret career choice--but I don't like dead people
10)Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (seriously.....makes me smile to watch my baby girl watch "her friends"

10 places that that I would love to travel to:

1)Italy-wine
2)France.....but not Paris....somewhere south---wine
3)Cabo San Lucas-beach
4)Napa Valley-duh
5)Hawaii-beach and wine....must be heaven
6)Maine....somewhere on the coast-seafood
7)England-get back to my roots
8)Los Angeles-because I'm a stalker and I would love to chase down a celebrity
9)Ireland-again with the roots....
10)Australia-wine


10 favorite places that I have been

1)Disney World--I love it even more as an adult then I did as a child.
2)Xcaret in the Rivera Maya--underground snorkeling and swimming with dolphins....so awesome
3)Boston--home of the New Kids and was a kick ass get together with my mommy friends
4)Holden Beach, NC-summer vacation every year!
5)Biltmore Estate in NC--they have a winery.....
6)New Orleans--very cool to see even if I did have a one year old with me at the time
7)Cancun---drunken spring break with my sorority sisters----crappy hotel though
8)The Dunns River Falls in Jamaica---I did not hurt myself and THAT was an accomplishment
9)Key West--an entire street to party on....this is a happy place
10)Chicago--only been one time....fun shopping!

10 favorite posts on my blog

10)You can read my fairy tale HERE Be warned...it is not for the faint of heart

9)My first venture into Dear Diary Thursday....I call my mom a garden tool HERE

8)Say my name right or I will cut you...... HERE

7) Read about how cool I USED to be HERE

6)My first Letter to my children

5)A letter written by Mallory

4) Pierce's response

3) Introducing you to myFIRST baby....way before kids....

2)The sarcastic things I was thankful for last Thanksgiving HERE

1)Yes this was very recent but I meant ever word of it HERE

10 Things I would take if I were stranded on an island (other then my kids)

1)My iPod--cannot live without it

2)My phone--I need it to facebook about being stuck on an island

3)My computer--for blogging

4)My Ugg Boots-they keep your feet at body temperature no matter WHERE you are

5)My makeup--to look pretty when I get saved

6)My Mary Jane Crocs-they are cute AND practical for being stranded on a beach

7)My Tiffany Tag bracelet....the first piece of jewelry Joe ever bought me--memories.....

8)My Wedding set-so that when I DO get rescued by a hot pirate (Johnny Depp) I can remind him and myself that I am spoken for

9)My book collection (okay, I cant just pick ONE)

10)My scrapbook stuff ---gotta scrapbook those memories of being stranded

10 Things You May Not Know About Me:

1)I hate the dentist. The thought of getting a filling makes me all anxiety-y

2)I no longer have a relationship with my father. I have not seen or spoken to him in over 10 years. I am okay with this.

3)My favorite years in school always hit every other year. 6th, 8th, 10th and 12th grade were my FAVORITES

4)I went to THE Ohio State University

5)While I was there I was an Alpha Omicron Pi sister

6)I am a video game nerd.....big time.

7)I once had...ahem....relations with my boyfriend in a library while in college

5)I do not like beer. I never have and will never "acquire the taste for it" like everyone always told me. I was the girl in school pouring a bottle of wine into a "to go cup" to take to parties where I knew there would only be beer

4)I have very strange taste in food....I like anchovies, raw oysters and could eat blue cheese by the pound

3)I have only had c-sections, never had to push (never dilated) and I think having babies the old fashioned way is kind of strange

2)Some of my best childhood memories are from spending summers in New Jersey with the father that I no longer have a relationship with. This has nothing really to do with him but more with the friends that I made there....2 of who I still keep in touch with.

1)My mom ran over my foot once with her car. It was my fault. I jumped out while it was still moving. It hurt.

10 Jobs that I have had:

1)Lee's Famous Recipe Chicken

2)Ponderosa Steakhouse.....the ONLY time I have been a waitress

3)The Library at Ohio State.....if you are smart you will make a connection here

4)The Office for Disability Services at Ohio State....very cool job....I got to put books onto tape for visually impaired students and also read and scribe tests for them.

5)Victoria's Secret---hello free bras!

6)Elder Beerman (also retail)

7)A Tanning Salon

8)The Traveling Vineyard.....In home Wine Consultant....THIS was a fun job

9)Fire Insurance Underwriter

10)Health Insurance Underwriter

10 Things That Rock About Being ME

10)I live in a great city that has tons of cool stuff to do. Both for adults AND kids. We have the best college football team and awesome shopping. I never want to move.

9)My husband is the best man I have ever met. He is a wonderful father and a wonderful husband. Some might say I take a special person to put up with me.....he is it. I am lucky to have him and I am happy to be spending my life with my soul mate.

8)My kids kick ass. yeah, they don't respect sleep and I pretty much live as a zombie most days but they are so funny, sweet, cuddly and lovable that I just cant bring myself to sell them on eBay

7)I have a cool mom. Granted she gives me opinions more then I would like but other then that she is like a BFF....she is fun, likes to have a good time and makes me laugh with her randomness

6)My friends rock. I have the best friends EVER. My college girlfriends and I are still close...I love spending time with them and love watching as we all "grow up" together. Those of us that have kids....I love watching THEM grow up together.....those of you that still have that coming down the line....I cannot WAIT to help you plan your weddings and teach you how to not break your kids. My mommy board friends.....you don't need me to tell you how much I love you all....we have something special that many people don't ever have in their lives, it has been unreal going on this journey with you all.

5)I scrapbook like a mad fool. Okay, so maybe not everyone will think this is something COOL....but I do. When God made me he seemed to forget to give me coordination (that went to my sister) or any sort of musical talent (brother)...no athletic ability (sister again) but he DID give me enough talent to take semi decent pics and put them all together in pretty little packages that I call scrapbooks. And like I tell Joe (usually when he is pissed at how much money my "talent" costs) Preserving our family memories is hard work.

4)Not only do I have a job....I have one that I like. I have been fortunate enough to work for the same company for 11 years. I have never had a supervisor that I did not like, I have made very close friends here that make the time go by fast, and my mom works one floor up.

3)I grew up in and still have a very close extended family. My mom is one of 7 kids....I have tons of cousins and my grandparents on this side are still alive. Holidays are chaotic but they are fun. I'm glad that my kids are growing up with all of these crazy people too.

2)I take pride in being a good person. If I love you I will do anything for you. I am honest to the point of being blunt, I will not lie to you (except when I shop at the scrapbook store) and if you need me to cut someone for you I will. Nothing pisses me off more then someone doing something shady to someone I love.

1)And the last thing that rocks about being me......I have the MAD capability to nap at any given time. Not in a narcolepsy kind of way but if I need a nap I can nap like it is my JOB. None of this half asleep on the couch with the TV on crap (JOE). I'm talking full on jammies in the bed with my curtains drawn. Now I'm tired.

I hope you enjoyed my 100th post. If you didn't....eh, never mind. I will be nice today.