EFF YOU SNOW

This day is starting out to be a big ole bag of suck. I woke up this morning and before I even looked outside I could hear the ice. Super....with hope in my heart I called my company's weather line thinking maybe.....just maybe....we would be closed. Not so much. 2 hour delay. Meanwhile I look at all the other closings on the TV and laugh at the irony that while the Air National Guard does not have to report to work, I do.

I get showered, get the kids up and dressed and leave for work in plenty of time to get the kids to daycare and me to work using my normal "there is snow on the ground" pace of about 20mph.

Yes, that's right....I'm one of THOSE assholes.

While sitting at a red light I go to update my facebook status to something bitchy when I see a co-worker has posted that work is closed. WTF?? I call my boss who confirms that yes indeed, we ARE closed now. While I am truly pleased at this development I would have been even MORE pleased had this been decided....oh a few hours earlier.

On my way back home I realize we will have to stop at the store for milk and wine and I have Helpy McHelperson in the back seat going "Wow Mommy, this is a different day....I have never had breakfast BEFORE school (hey, they feed my kids there) and I have never had to turn around and go back home before"

Little did I know the fun had yet to begin. The driveway has not been shoveled....slid down this morning on my way out. Saying a prayer I hit the gas pedal to see if maybe I would get lucky and coast right up my (uphill) driveway. Wrong again. I get out of the car....do some half ass shoveling to find a nice sheet of ice about 2 inches thick under the snow. SURPRISE!! I go to find the salt container thingy and guess what.....EMPTY. SURPRISE.

I try to break it up as much as I can and get back in the car. Helpy McHelperson and his sister Mouthy McBrat are telling me that I am not doing a good job getting into the garage. Thanks guys, get out and push.

I will be victorious over the driveway. I will. Looking around the garage for something to help me get some traction I see the light.....in the form of a bag of bird seed.

Half a bag later I am THIS close to getting into the garage....cussing in front of my kids (mother of the year) I hit it one last time and barely avoid putting the car into the living room.

The kids cheer.

We are now all back in our jammies. I have already threatened the kids with taking them to school if they don't behave.

Snow and Ice..... Kiss my ass.