Thursday, April 30, 2009

Temper Tantrums 101

My daughter will be three soon. I am learning that one thing that is worse than a 2 year old little girl is a 3 year old little girl. I say GIRL because Pierce only minored in toddler attitude while Mallory is working on her masters.

Don't get me wrong....Pierce had his moments....still does....but I realizing that the drama that comes with raising a daughter is WAY different than raising a son.

Pierce was never one to throw actual temper tantrums. He would get mad and cry but he never really did the whole throw yourself on the ground and act like you are being set on fire. I got off pretty easy with him. Yeah, that was lucky for me....but at the same time it did not prepare me for what was to come.

Mallory is an ENTIRE different breed of child than her brother. She may be small but she is mighty. One of the blogs that I read (darnit, I know you are here but I cannot remember who it was) mentioned yesterday the art of going boneless (Kristina, this definition is for you) know....when a child is so pissed off that when you try and pick them up and move them they go entirely limp usually causing them to slip out of your hands and back onto the floor. This cracked me up because Mallory could write a book on how to do this. Another of my toddler favorites is when they are so pissed of about something that when you try and put them in their car seat and they don't want to leave the park/the zoo/grandma's house that they do the OPPOSITE of going boneless which is what I like to call the 2 by 4. As in imagine trying to make a 2 by 4 sit properly in a car seat to strap them in. This also kind of resembles someone who looks like they are in need of an exorcism.

Mallory's temper tantrums are usually worthy of a Grammy. Now, princess is not going to THROW herself on the floor.....she is not dumb....she does not want to get hurt. While most kids crumble to the floor like they have been shot MY kid will gracefully lay down and THEN proceed to freak out. For up to 30 minutes. I have found that they ONLY thing to do when she gets like walk away. Sometimes I will put her in her room and close the door. She knows that once she is done throwing her fit, when she is ready, she can come out. Every few minutes I will ask her......"Sissy, are you done?" and she will shriek NO and continue on. I walk away. The part that gets me is that when she IS done it is like a fricking light switch. She turns it off in a millisecond and will say....."I'm done" It is mind boggling.

While she is learning how to throw tantrums I am learning how to avoid them. I know what her triggers are for the most part. One thing that can surly get her panties twisted is me having done something that SHE wants to do....such as put her socks on, or open the cabinet to get something out. I must IMMEDIATELY put whatever it is BACK the way it was and let HER do it. I can tell you that this is SO fricking annoying....especially in the morning when I want to get them out the door. It is however way easier to pull the socks BACK off and let her do it then deal with "the performance" Ahhhh, independence. She has been known to CLOSE the cabinet door....take a few steps back and then walk back up to it and open it herself.....thus acting like she had done it all along.

I know that this drama is a phase and that eventually we will move into a new one.

I fear the teenage years.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Things To Do With A Goose

I have been thinking. I have been known to be rather bitter towards the feathered bird known as the goose. Yes, I have lost an iPod to a goose and yes I feel that they stalk me. While they seem to really be a menace to society, I have found that there are quite a few GOOD things that can come out of the goose population. Who knew? Most of them do involve the goose being dead but that is not my fault. So I would like to dedicate this post to THIS goose....the one that is sitting her fat butt on what is sure to be more little spawns of the devil more feathered friends in time to come. This is the goose that lives in my office parking lot. I hate her.

Bear with me as this may get a little lengthy....I had no clue that there were so many FUN things to do with geese.

First off we have the obvious.....goose outfits. Now I do think it may be a little difficult to get my office goose into an outfit (unless it is dead) but still there is much fun to be had with goose clothes. I feel THIS is most representative of their little birdy personalities.

My Mother in Law enjoys dressing her goose. I want to kick it every time I go to her house but I don't want to break my foot. Actually I also want to kick the office goose but I fear the security cameras would catch me.

Did you know that almost ALL parts of the goose can be used for something fabulous? Look at these pillows filled with goose down. Don't you just want to curl up on them and dream of geese being hit by semi trucks? I know I do.

Something else that is cool to do with goose feathers--dress up clothes. I know that if Mallory had a goose feather boa I would smile with glee every time she played with it. I would know that somewhere there was either a dead or bald goose that gave up it's feathers for my daughters enjoyment.

Even the EGGS of the goose are full of potential!! Look at this beautiful Christmas ornament made out of a goose egg. I would LOVE to hang it on my tree....every year I could think of the goose that did NOT hatch out of this egg.

Now let's talk about some of the awesome ways to EAT a goose. Tired of turkey at Thanksgiving? Feast your eyes upon this.What a tasty reminder that the only good goose is a dead one. How easy to make! All that you need is 1 goose breast, skinned and boned (2 fillets), 1/2 cup wine vinegar, 1/4 cup vegetable oil, 1/4 cup soy sauce, 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper, SAUCE: 1/4 cup currant jelly, 1/4 cup water,1-1/2 tablespoons Dijon mustard, 1 teaspoon lemon juice, 1 teaspoon soy sauce, 1/2 teaspoon steak sauce, salt, fresh-ground black pepper to taste--I have most of these ingredients at home and I can get the goose the way to my car.

In a zip-seal plastic bag, combine vinegar, soy sauce, vegetable oil and pepper. Add goose fillets, and allow to marinate 2 1/2 hours, turning often. Broil for 10 minutes on each side and VOILA....dinner is served.

A 3.5oz serving of roasted goose breast has 25g of protein!!

Having a party? Don't serve boring old cheese and crackers. Serve Goose Liver Pate and be all the talk of the town.

If all of this goose awesomeness has not convinced you that geese are our friends then I will leave you with this........The AwayWithGeese Unit.

From the products website........The success of the product is based around a simple concept. At night, geese sleep in areas where they feel secure from their predictors, such as dogs, fox and coyotes. (And jaded attack victims) Placing an AwayWithGeese unit into these areas disrupts the geese's ability to sleep, and they simply move to another safe area within a few days.

I hope you have learned something from all of this information. I know I have. That said....I still hope to accidentally run over the office goose today after work. I need a new pillow.

Monday, April 27, 2009

The Cutest Kids Ever

Okay, so I may be a little bit biased....

It is hard to believe that THIS angel laid on the floor and screamed at me for a good 30 minutes yesterday.
And that THIS adorable little boy tried to hit his sister twice this past weekend.

I have yet to see a happy medium between my children. They either love each other SO much that it makes you almost need a root canal from the sweetness, or they want to kill each other. No in between.
Happy Monday!

Friday, April 24, 2009

I won I won!!!

Yeah!!! I love when whoring pays out!

Thanks April and FutureMama--Mallory thanks you as well

April Showers: The Winner!

Sorry Jenny

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Whoring for a give-a-way

ohhhhh, I want this!!!

April Showers: April Showers Giveaway Month! (Baby Girl Headbands)

Anyone who knows me well knows I love me some baby girl hair gear.......

Yet another cartoon I love to hate

I have yet another cartoon that my kids love that I would not mind seeing go up in flames. I spoke of my annoyance for Yo Gabba Gabba here and my hatred for Max and Ruby here. Today class let's talk about The Higgly Town Hero's

Aren't they cute? The concept of this show is actually not that bad. This show teaches you that EVERYONE in your community is important (aka a "Higgly Town Hero) Everyone from the dentist that fixes your teeth to the baker at the local bakery. They of course sing a little song about each hero and what they do that makes them so awesome. I like this part. I like that it teaches my kids that everyone is important in someway.

A few things I DON'T like.......

These kids.....when they get scared.....all hop inside each other like those little stackable dolls. So in the event that something really bad were to happen....the big one Eubie gets screwed because all his little friends are safe inside. Creepy.

They also have no arms. Until they need them. Then they appear quickly but then go back to those armless hands you see attached to their belly's. Creepy.

See that squirrel sitting on top of Wayne's head? Her name is Fran. In every episode the little girl who (Twinkle) comes up with what is always a far fetched idea about how to solve a problem...she is creative and enthusiastic. Then that bitch squirrel always takes the time to point out WHY her idea kind of sucks. Way to encourage imagination Fran. Way to be a buzz kill.

I also feel like in all of the episodes that I have seen (and I have seen a lot) they really have left out a few REALLY important people in communities that should be given hero credit.

Such As:

Bartenders. Oh wait, wrong show.....that is from MOMMYTOWN Hero's

Tattoo Artists. They encourage individuality and freedom to express yourself

Drug Dealers. So much easier to call on a Higgly Town Hero then to blow the house up making your own meth lab

The Town Slut- How can you leave out that REALLY helpful gal who usually comes with a gift that keeps on giving? Oh, and let's not forget her sister the

Prostitute- These women really work hard for the money that they earn--where would the Higgly Town politicians be without them?

I am sure that there are WAY more important community members out there (in fact if you can think of some please feel free to let me know in a comment) but these are the ones that I can come up with this early in the morning with not even half my coffee gone.

Like I said, I support the idea of this show but I really wish it would teach my kids the importance of ALL of the hero's out there and not just the folks like teachers and police officers. Come on Disney....let's get it together.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Dani's Daily Drop and Stellan

Attention whore that I am I thrilled to be featured over at Dani's Daily Drop. If you are new here WELCOME!! Dani did an awesome job linking my favorite posts!

I wanted to come up with some witty bit of fabulessness today but really, I instead I think I will just remind you about this guy.....

I'm sure about 99.9% of the blogging world knows all about Stellan and that he is having surgery today. If you DON'T know about Stellan you can go meet him and his awesome mommy MckMama over at her blog. Instead of doing a regular blog post I just want to keep Stellan in everyone's mind today. Please pray that he comes through his surgery okay and that his doctors are able to fix his heart! He has been in the hospital for over a month now and I know his family is ready for him to come home. I am SO amazed at the number of people all over the world who have come to know Stellan just through MckMama's words.

Happy Tuesday!!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Survived New York......Not without a bit of drama of course

I thought about doing this NOT ME style but that will take WAY to much effort.

I had SO. MUCH. FUN. in NYC.....even with an unexpected bit of drama.

We got there around 6AM. I had not slept much on the bus and I was SO tired but there was not much to be done about that. We were dropped off at Rockefeller Center and told to meet back at 8 that night. We got lucky with beautiful weather all day long. The first thing we did was hop the subway to head towards the ground zero area since all of the shops were still closed.

We took the subway all day long...some of the people on the trip wanted no part of that but it really was not bad at all, yeah some were dirty but we did not have any trouble getting where we needed to be and we were able to see so many more parts of the city that way.

The World Trade Center is actually under construction to be re-built right now. It was kind of a bummer not to be able to see it due to construction fences up everywhere. The one thing that I thought was SO cool was the St Paul's Chapel which is directly across from where the Twin Towers stood was left unharmed after the attacks.

We spent some time in a store called Century 21 which had a lot of designer clothes and shoes at a more reasonable price. I bought one little bathing suit cover up for Mallory (Kate Mack brand) but I was not about to go nuts there because I needed to save my money for......


We hopped back on the subway and headed into China Town. This was where the real fun SOON as we got up onto the street they started. And by THEY I mean the purse people. They walk around the streets mumbling under there breath and this is what you BARELY hear....."Coach, Chanel, Prada.....Coach, Purses?? Chanel?" Seriously....all just so you can barely hear them. Once you make eye contact they give you a "look" and you kind of nod and the next thing you know you are in the back of some shady parking lot in a kidnapper van with no windows filled with purses. It was awesome. At one point I was so excited to be following someone through a parking lot that I tore a hole in my jeans on some rusty van and barely avoided a nice case of tetanus. That however was not the best part about shopping in China Town. The best part was when we followed some guy into a shop, went behind a curtain, down a hall and then he OPENED PART OF THE WALL to reveal another hallway that lead to a room full of bags. You could not even tell it was a door. These people are pretty serious about not getting caught...they use walkie talkies to find out if it is safe to bring people in. Scandalous!!

Once I scored my 2 "Pradas" and a pair of Chanel sunglasses we headed back to the not shady part of our day which was lunch at Hard Rock and then shopping at Macy's.

Feet are starting to hurt by now.

We capped our day off with a quick visit to Central Park which was super pretty and then headed back towards Rockefeller center to grab dinner quick somewhere and wait on the bus. One last stop into an AWESOME cupcake bakery that thank GOD is not in my city and then we were ready to go home.

And then the drama started.

About 10 after 8 one bus has shown up along with the owner of the company. Apparently when our awesome bus driver Rudy went to start the bus that my group was on it did not start. And we had to spend the night. A lot of people were pissed because by this point everyone was so tired and just wanted to go home. But what could we do, better it broke down here than in the mountains in PA. The owner of the company was awesome....she put everyone in a hotel just outside of the city and paid for it. We ended up not getting home until 7PM instead of 7AM.

One complication of spending an unexpected night.....clean undies!! Thank goodness that I am super smart and am always prepared but SOME people....who shall remain nameless....because they did give birth to me had to ride home commando and SOME people who shall remain nameless but might be related to me in other ways might have turned their skivies inside out.

Once I got home I pretty much turned right around and went out again.....yes I AM a rock star thank could I not go and see THIS GIRL who came into town. So I capped my night off at a Mexican restaurant with her and This other girl I kind of like.

Here are a few pics for your viewing pleasure if you made it this far.....

Group pic with our awesome driver Rudy I'm the one under the B.

Mini Van (not to be confused with the kidnapper van that was also visited) full of can barely see me, I'm the blue shirt with her head in the van.
Happy Monday!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

I want to BE a part of it.....

Tonight at about 7PM I will be boarding the "FUN BUS" along with my mom, sister, aunt, and 2 of my work BFFs. We will be driving all night arriving tomorrow morning in the Big Apple!! While I am not overly excited about sleeping on a bus all night I AM excited about my very first EVER trip to NYC. Fear not though, armed with my snuggie and my Twilight movie I will manage to deal with the bus trip.

We will only be there for a day, hopping back ON the bus tomorrow night to come back home. While I am most excited to be purchasing AUTHENTIC purses such as PRODA and LUIS VITTON, I am also looking forward to seeing Central Park and NOT getting mugged on a subway.

My mother has us on an agenda that will get us to see most of the important sites in New York in a 12 hour period. What she did NOT factor into the agenda is extra time for her to argue with my sister which is almost a guarantee.

Here is what we have planned.....

-Ground Zero---which I am sure will be very emotionally overwhelming but I am glad to be seeing it to pay respect to those who lost there lives there.
-St Paul's Cathedral-Where I will pray for all of your sins.
-Statue of Liberty - eh
-China Town-to buy those authentic purses, once you knock twice on the secret wall....
-Empire State building
-Hard Rock Cafe for lunch
-Rockefeller Center
-FAO Schwartz
-Central Park

Now, my mother did this same trip last year and apparently if you stay on schedule it can be done.

The negotiations for what is considered an "appropriate amount of money" for me to take shopping have been completed. I won.

Look out New York.........

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Story of Us

I'm feeling kind of crabby today so I figured I would grace you all with a feel good kind of blog in hopes of perking myself up. Nothing in particular is wrong....just feeling a little bitchy. Might be the kink in my neck compliments of sleeping with my daughter sleeping wrong, or maybe just the never ending rain. At any rate.....this guy suggesting I blog about something my husband did to piss me off yesterday in hopes to cheer myself up and give him something to laugh at....but then I remembered that I keep seeing everyone blog about the "how they met, engagement, wedding stories" days in their life and that I wanted to do that as well....

Quite a few dress sizes years ago I had just gotten dumped by an asshole my boyfriend and I was realllllllly jaded. My Aunt had been telling me for like a month that she knew this guy out at the Air Force base that was really nice, cute, blah blah blah and that she wanted me to meet him. I had told her over and over that I did NOT need my AUNT to hook me up with a boy thankyouverymuch and that boys were dumb and I did not need one. Finally in an effort to shut her up I agreed to meet him in a group scenario, no pressure, no strings, no thanks.

I met my this group including my aunt and this random guy that I probably would not like anyways out at a bar that night. How cliche right? Much to my surprise he WAS cute, and he WAS nice but I still did not think I would like him. I never did go for the nice one's....which was probably why I was still single.

He asked if he could call me sometime and I said yes. Meanwhile I was ALSO working on this guy who was WAY to young for me, lived with his brother and took me on a date to BW3 (wing joint) for our first (and only) date. Clearly he was the better choice.

Joe called and asked me out within a few days. I would not let him pick me up (no strings, no stress) and said I would meet him out. We went to the Shadowbox Cabaret for our first date which is kind of like a comedy club but more of a Sat Night Live skit type feel. I really enjoyed myself. Our date ended with him promising to call me again and me starting to think I just MIGHT like him. I went home since I don't put out until the 2nd date. And I'm kidding. About putting out, not that I went home.

It did not take long for me to realize that I was in trouble and that little by little the bricks that made up the wall that kept my emotions in check were coming down around me.

We met in February of 2001. We got engaged 7 months later. He proposed to me in the middle of a fountain area at an outdoor shopping mall......we were walking across to the other side and I was like "what in the hell are you doing down there.....OHMYGOD"

6.5 years, 2 kids and a mini van later takes us to today. Those of you who know me know that I tend to be a little on the pain in the ass side (I know, you are shocked) I don't cook, I'm kind of spoiled and I do things like wreck his car in the garage. He snores (although I have heard that I might as well), stalks my shopping on our bank website, and FORGETS TO TIVO Matt and Maddy Logelin on Oprah 32 seconds after I call and remind him to do so. He is my best friend, the love of my life, and my soul mate.

I still stand by my statement that I did not need my Aunt to hook me up with a boy. Although I DID need her to find me a husband.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Not Me Monday

Good morning! I hope that all had a fabulous Easter weekend! We were fairly busy and since I forgot to pay attention to what I did NOT do all last week this is likely to be uneventful. Please remember to keep MckMama and Stellan in your prayers, she is still with him in the hospital.
Here are some Easter NOT ME's
Sat night I did NOT threaten Mallory by telling her if she did not go to sleep that the Easter bunny would not come. Mallory has a tendancy to call for me at LEAST 3 times each night after I put her to bed. I would never threaten my baby in that way when she really just wants more snuggle time. NOT ME.
With thoughts of Easter eggs in her head Mallory did NOT go right to sleep without making me come up there 3 times.

I did NOT then think what other way that I could use such a ploy to get her to go to bed.
After the kids were all snug in there beds Joe and I did NOT go through the candy from that day's hunt and put some of it in their baskets.
Easter morning we were NOT woken up by Pierce flying into our bedroom freaking out because the power had just gone out. Surely this would NOT happen on yet ANOTHER holiday. We did NOT have to pack up all of our stuff for the day and head to my mom's early to shower there.
I did NOT have 2 of the cutest kids EVER dressed up looking super innocent.

In her beautiful dress, tights and her hair all pretty Mallory did NOT spend most of the day jumping on a trampoline with the boys.

My kids did NOT go flipping mad crazy over the egg hunt and get 35 more eggs filled with candy. Each. Joe and I will NOT be hiding most of it to avoid cavities.

Happy Monday!!

PS....I am NOT ready to kill blogger because I cant get my paragraphs to format. STOOOOPID blogger.....

Friday, April 10, 2009

Once a Whore Always a Whore

well I did not win a blog make over (damn you Aileigh) but I would LOVE to win this stash from one of my favorite people both in real life and here in the blog world.

So here I am whoring for another give-a-way.....

mama-loco (ohhh, lookie, I linked more that one word!!) is celebrating her 100th post. I heart this girl a whole lot so go visit her and check out her give-a-way

Happy 100th Mellisa! Love you bitch!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Thinking Before Coffee 101

Pierce threw quite a curve ball at me this morning. I generally always have a snappy comeback for anything he throws my way (shocker right) but not this morning. We were talking on the way to daycare about college. Pierce wants to grow up and be a weatherman. Very Cool. He knows that he has to go to college to be a weatherman. This morning he asks me: "Mommy, what did YOU go to college to be?"

here the crickets chirping?

First off, my kid does not know what psychology is, to explain to him that I got a degree that I don't so much use. (although that may actually be debatable).

Since he does not know what psychology is and since I can't tell him that I majored in my boyfriend with a minor in my sorority, I told him that mommy took a lot of classes about books (thank you English minor).

"So you learned to read in college?"


I was able to explain to him that you learn a lot of different things in college and that you read a lot of books about many different things. That seemed to appease him but then it got me thinking. What exactly DID I learn in college?

Since about 4th grade I had always wanted to be a teacher. Kindergarten specifically. Around my sophomore year in college I decided to be a social worker. The following year I switched to psychology with no intent to get a masters or a PhD. I always kept English as a minor...I like to read and write.

What do I do now? 32 seconds after graduating from THE BEST COLLEGE IN THE WORLD (here in Ohio we get excited about our Alma mater) I started working for an insurance company as an underwriter. 11 years later I am still here. Don't get me wrong....I LOVE my job, I am truly blessed to HAVE a job, not to mention one I like, and to work with cool people (including my mother....nepotism at it's finest).

I'm not sure that I need a psychology degree to do what I do. Or any degree really....everything I learned about my job I learned in training when I started.

So all this got me thinking (BEFORE coffee, no good) what DID I learn for all of that money that I am STILL paying back?? I really think that college is more about experiences than anything else.

I learned-

-How to budget.....or not budget.
-How to schedule according to priority-i.e. no classes before 10AM or that interfered with Days of Our Lives.
-Responsibility-Your professors really don't care if you show up or not but your grade does....this one took me a few years to learn
-Resourcefulness-There was that place on High St that sold notes to almost every class on case you did not learn the above skill.
-How to be safe- carry mace for your walk home and avoid the "little person" who was always drunk on High Street. He will chase you if you make eye contact
-Relationships are not always forever- Just because you are in love does not mean that life wont take you in an entirely different direction years to come. Thank God
-The best relationships ARE forever- Sisters do not always have to share blood
-Direction-When you are stumbling home from a late night out, turn right at the HUGE sign that looks like a penis but is really a book store sign...that is your street.
-Patience- I spent one year living with 20 other women. Enough said.

The 4 years that I spent at THE BEST COLLEGE IN THE WORLD really taught me more about life than anything else. Some days I think I'm lucky to have made it out with a liver unscathed.

Looking back I don't think I would change a thing.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Whoring for a give-a-way

I want a blog makeover. really bad. preferably a FREE one. So go check out April HERE

oh, and I tried to do that link with more than one word.....first I tried posting <----- that and then highlighting it and typing April Showers....once I hit space after April it stopped linking. Then I tried typing April Showers and then highlighting both words and hit Ctr V to paste and it just changed it to the http code. Now I'm not always the brightest bulb on the porch but what in the HELL am I doing wrong?

Another cartoon that makes me want to claw my eyes out

I must apologize to those of you who were not expecting to come here and cry out of sweetness instead of laughter. I do have a soul, every now and then it pushes it's way out. Have no fear though, I have pushed that part down for at least a good few weeks. I now return you to your regularly scheduled sarcasm.

Last month I told you about These guys....and how much they drive me nuts. I have to say SORRY to my sister in law Gina because I do know that THESE guys allow her much time to clean, do laundry, ect and I do love my sweet nephew a lot and he pretty much lives for them---so I will give them a reprieve and instead tell you about another show that makes me want to drown myself in Merlot.

mmmmm, Merlot.

oops, got distracted. okay. Let's talk about Max and Ruby. You know them? Good. If not.....let me tell you about them.
This is Max and Ruby. They are brother and sister. Who apparently have no parents. This is the first thing that bugs me about them. Where in the hell are their mom and dad?? I have seen a big old family picture of them on the wall but parents are no where to be found. Hello, Child Protective Services? They do have a grandma who lives up the street but I don't think she would be much help in case of emergency.

Ruby.....big sister Ruby. I kind of want to punch her in the face. Apparently since she is in charge in the house with no parents she has to kick "bossy big sister" to an entirely new level. All she does for 30 minutes is bitch at Max about what he is doing, not doing, supposed to be doing or already did. Really Ruby....since you are already in charge of bathing your brother with no parents around will it really kill you to let him eat ice cream in the tub? And please, get your ass OUT of his sandbox when he wants to play in it. It is NOT you and your equally annoying friend Louise's personal beach. Ruby is in charge of grocery shopping and feeding her brother. In my house that means Pierce would be feeding Mallory pop tarts 3 times a day.

Max----USE YOUR WORDS. While he is fairly cute in a mischievous sort of way his use of ONE WORD over and over in the same episode tap dances on my last nerve. Maybe if you TOLD your sister to piss off (don't forget to say please) she would leave you alone to play with your ROCKET. Yep....a ROCKET for a 3 year old.
Thankfully my monkeys have moved past their love for Max and Ruby...they have since given me other shows to hate but I will save those for another day. Yes, I know I could turn the T.V. off but every now and then I like to do things like go to the bathroom alone or refill my wine glass.
on an unrelated note.....which one of you can tell me how to make a link with more than one word...I know to post the link and highlight it and then retype what you want it to say but as soon as you hit the space bar for another word it no longer links it.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Paging Dr. Mommy.....

**Warning--the following post is sarcasm free**
As much as I like to grumble and complain about my lack of sleep, sharing a bed with a 23lb terror and ultimately getting up at dark o clock, every now and then my kids throw in a moment that reminds me how worth it it all is.

Last night was one of those nights.

Last night after we put the kids to bed I was all wrapped up in my Snuggie waiting on the MOST DEPRESSING HOUSE EPISODE EVER to start (okay, most depressing since cutthroat bitch died). I heard the sound of small feet that were not in bed and then Joe saying "ohh, buddy, what is wrong??"

Pierce has a few different cries. There is the "I am mad that I can't have my way" cry the "I know I am in trouble" cry, and then there is the "my heart is broken" cry. This is the one that gets me--that one comes with HUGE brown eyes that are full of tears, a mouth that is turned into the saddest frown....THIS cry breaks MY heart.

This is the cry that came downstairs last night with his stuffed EVE (from Wall-E) doll in one hand and one of her arms in the other. His EVE doll has had movable arms and somehow he managed to pull one off. Pierce has a habit of spinning his stuffed toys around by their arms/legs/ears and I keep telling him that one day this would happen (MAN mommies are smart)

I promised him that I would fix it. I told him that Dr Mommy would do surgery on EVE to re-attach her arm. I told him that it may take awhile but that I would bring her up and tuck her back in with him when I was finished.

I am not sew much a seamstress (did you like that humor?) I can do buttons, I can sew a hole, but I have never reattached an arm to a arm that has to somehow get the part that makes it move back INTO the hold and then sewn around it. Awesome.

I got out my little sewing kit surgical tools and sat down to make my baby's night all better. It did not take me long to realize that EVE's arm was not going to be able to move once I got it back on (hey, don't judge...I'm lucky I did not sew her to the couch) but I knew I would be able to at least get it back on so that no stuffing came out. I sewed the patients arm back in place and while it would not move I did a pretty darn good job on it thankyouverymuch.

Once the patient was out of recovery I took her upstairs to Pierce. I thought he would be asleep but once I opened the door he rolled over and sat up. Once he saw that EVE's arm was back in place he smiled at me. He was okay with the fact that her arm could not move. (Thank you God).

I was rewarded with the BEST hug, a beautiful smile, bright shiny brown eyes and a "thank you mommy"

Most of all I was rewarded with the fact that Mommy can *almost* always make everything better.

These moments are what makes Life in the House of No Sleep.....totally worth it.

Being Mommy is the best super power there is.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Hello to all of the Blog Stalkers and my NKOTB recap

So I am the top blog over at Blog Stalkers Unite this week. HELLO!!!! If you have never been here before welcome....a little warning.....I sometimes use dirty words and make fun of people, places and things....other than that I am pretty cool!! I have an awesome husband and 2 kids that prevent me from sleeping.....they are 5 and almost 3. Here are some of the best of the best.....or the worst of the pick!

TheTaleoftheDragonandtheQueen or why I hate geese

I get cranky when you don't say my name correctly

I used to be cool

I hate winter

Mommies gone wild

Give your period the respect that it deserves

pee standing up. you know you want to

And for those of you who already know me.......let me just say.....BEST. NIGHT. EVER. Sorry to have left you all Hanging (Tough <----like that New Kids humor) but alas I did not run away with Joey McIntyre this weekend. Though not for lack of desire trust me. My husband dropped me and BFF Jess of at the bar to meet BFF Liz and our awesome DD Paul.....we drank until the show started. Okay, and during. When those lights went out and those HOT HOT guys (except for 2 of them) came up out of that stage I thought I was going to pee my pants. They are AWESOME!!!! 20,000 screaming women.....I took some video but you can hardly hear it because of all of the screaming. My voice is shot to hell today and I think I am still hungover but it was one of the best times I have ever had!

The average age was probably early 30s.....some girls came out in New Kids shirts (my favorite was the pregnant chick with her shirt all tight around her baby bump) some girls had HUGE buttons, some had signs. It was INSANE.

If they come your way and you loved them back will love them 100 times more now! I totally wanted to stalk their hotel room like the 90210 kids did for Color Me Badd.

When DD Paul dropped me off at my house I spent 5 minutes trying to get my key in the door only to hear later that Joe left the door unlocked for me. Yeah vodka!!

Sorry I don't have pics.....they are on facebook and I cant get on there from work.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

I love to be on top!!

That get your attention? Okay, I will get my NKOTB update up tomorrow but I needed to get this out here first.....

I am the TOP BLOG this week over at BlogStalkersUnite --If you get here from there before I get a real post up on Monday....come back! I'm going to link up my favorite posts.....and yes, get my concert review up....

Let's just say it was one of the best nights EVER!!!!

Until tomorrow.....

Friday, April 3, 2009

Today is the day.....13 year old Cammie finally lives her dream......

First let's go back........the year is 1988.....the bedroom. My bangs are teased high, my eye-shadow is blue. My jeans are tight rolled and my Eastlands have the laces wound into those little springs. I'm wearing Debbie Gibson Electric Youth perfume. That's right....Debbie Gibson....not Deborah like she goes by now.

My clock radio is on and across the room my boombox has a tape in, the record button pressed. I am silent because that is truly the only way to get a good recording of the song.

My little sister busts in the door and ruins it. All you can hear in the middle of the song is me shushing her and telling her to get out of my room.

The song......honestly I don't remember the exact song but the group is the New Kids on the Block. They rule my world. Their posters all over my room. Someday I will meet Joey McIntyre and run away with him.

I never got to go to a New Kids concert. I know......hard knock life.

Today--The scene......My kitchen. Kids demanding their pop tarts. I no longer have bangs but I do rock my mom cut. Sometimes my eye shadow is still blue thanks to MAC makeup and my jeans....well they are just tight.

Tonight......tonight I am going to see the New Kids on the Block. My husband will drop me off downtown in my mini van and I will realize my dream! Along with BFF Liz , BFF Jess and hundreds of other screaming women in their 30's I will sing Hangin Tough, Please Don't Go Girl, and I'll Be Loving You Forever. Oh yes, I will sing.....I will dance.....I might even cry tears of joy.

I was always a Joey McIntyre girl. Remember him....the sweet baby faced Joey? How I loved him.

In fact I MET him a few years ago. Next to the births of my children and my wedding day it is one of the best days EVER. Remember he was in a little show called Dancing With the Stars? Well he came with the tour and my mom won tickets (give me some credit, I did not buy THOSE tickets) and I waited in line like a giddy school girl to get his autograph and hear him speak my name. I touched him. I HAD a picture on my cell phone but the Joe I MARRIED did not hit the damn save button and by the time I realized it we were already home. He almost died that night.

Joey looks like THIS now. Still hot in my eyes.

I cannot wait to hear him sing Please Don't Go Girl. Because I never did go....I have held on to my love for the New Kids over the past 20 years. I knew they would come back....all grown up and hot (well, most of them) and now they sing about doing dirty things.....not just about crushes and first kisses. Mmmmmm. Oops, sorry.

I'm having a hard time concentrating today. Maybe because I have the New Kids blaring in my ears through my iPod.

Oh is a good day. Think of me tonight at 7PM......

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Come on in and I will pour you a cup of random.....

Just some random thoughts from my brain this morning......

I think THIS is my new motto in life.

I woke up this morning and while putting on my make-up noticed that I now am sporting crow's feet. What. In. The. Hell. Those were NOT there yesterday. No seriously....I have never EVER seen crows feet in the corner of my eyes. I kind of want to stab myself IN said eyes with a fork.

Speaking of birds. I saw a dead goose on the side of the road this morning and it made me happy.

Wow, one MORE thought about birds......the happiest bird IN THE WORLD lives outside my bedroom window. He starts his merry little song around 4AM every day. Rain or Shine.

I need a BB Gun

This morning I had the following conversation with my 5 year old son when he came out of his room.....

"Wow mommy, you already dried your hair?"
"Yeah bud, did you not hear my blow dryer? That normally wakes you up"
"I know, I had my ears turned off"
"Turned off? Do you have a button that does that?
"Yep, it is behind my ears"
"hmmmm, that explains a lot"

I had some challenges getting off of the highway this morning. My friend called me apparently 2 cars back to tell me I almost killed the person behind me. Oops. She also said I ran a red light. I disagree. It was yellow. Maybe pink.

Tomorrow I am living a DREAM 20 years in the making. More on this later.....if you already know what I am doing tomorrow as I know some of you do (Liz, Mellisa, Lauren, Kelly I'm talking about YOU) or if you suspect.....keep it quiet until tomorrow.

I wrote this entire post without spelling one thing wrong. WHOA....I am SMRT

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Not at all Wordless Wednesday

I have some very exciting news to share!! Some of you know that my husband Joe is in the Air force....he is what is called Active Guard Reserve which means he is full time active duty but we are lucky in that he is stationed where we live on a permanent basis. He is about 2 years away from retirement (which means he is 2 years away from getting a new career but more on that later)

What I want to shout from the rooftops is that he was just selected as the Honor Guard Manager of the YEAR for the NATION!!!!!!

This is an incredible award that he won out of all of the people who were selected from each state and I am SO proud of him!! He works so hard and is really deserving of this honor! In June we are off for a week to Washington D.C. compliments of the Air force (our first time away together without kids!) as part of being the award winner. We will be toured around the city and meet some (I am told) important people (I would LOVE to meet President Obama) and attend a lot of dinners.

I guess now he goes on to win for the entire Airforce or something like that which in my mind translates to "He is already Ms USA now he competes for Ms Universe"

So yeah to my husband who even though he never reads this still needed a big old shout out on my blog!

Stay tuned in a few months from now when I stress about leaving my kids for that long for the first time EVER and THEIR first time away from both parents at the same time.

Oh, and as far as him getting a new career.....some things he has tossed around.
-lunch lady at the kids school
-school bus driver....for the kids route
-greeter at Lowes
-golf course attendant


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