Texas Weekend Recap

I am sitting at my desk trying not to fall asleep. I have consumed much caffeine today in an effort to stay awake. I had another awesome weekend with my girlfriends....another one of those weekends where it takes me most of the week to recover from the lack of sleep and over consumption of alcohol

Kelly and I got to Texas Friday night and were picked up by the rest of the girls. We headed to a fanfreakingtastic Mexican place for dinner and margaritas! Back to the hotel where we proceeded to fit 8 of us in a 2 bedroom suite. Do the math people and it equals 3 girls in one king bed, 2 in another, 2 on a pull out couch and MOI in the kitchen on a blow up mattress. I have not slept in such a random place since an incident in a parking garage in Canada.

Sat day we kept it low key.....a little shopping, a little lunch and a little nap before getting all hussied up to hit a 2 step bar. Guess what....I don't 2 step. Lauren took me for a little spin around the floor and I did not trip over myself but I certainly did not impress anyone.

Pocket Edward also had an excellent time revisiting his state of orgin. Since I was going to visit the girl who sent him to me I had to take him with yes?

Rocking his cowboy boots y'all
Even vampires look hot as cowboys

Stopping to "catch" some lunch. Not mountain lion but it will do

I know I have mention this before on this blog but I love these girls. I am so blessed to have awesome girlfriends....the ones I have had since college, the ones I have at work and "those Internet friends" My liver may disagree with these weekends though that is for sure. By the time we were done with that hotel room I swear all we were missing were a baby in the closet and a tiger in the bathroom. Bonus points if you get that reference.

I love you guys and I wish we could see each other more often. Although if we did it may have to involve a rehab facility. Or the nut house. Whatevs.

And A Kindle In a Pear Tree.....

Oops, my blog missed Christmas. Santa did not come for my blog because, well, let's face it. My blog WAS very naughty last year

Let me do a recap of the last month(ish). My birthday came and went (more on my gift in a bit)I'm finding that 34 is not much different that 33 was so no big drama there. Joe and I finished Christmas shopping at the last minute....as usual. Wrapped at the last minute.....as usual and I cursed my way through finding him a gift....AS USUAL.

This is the part where I get sidetracked because I did not plan this rant until just now. I can give you a list about a mile long of things that would be an awesome gift for me at any given moment. Truly. Don't get me wrong...I loooove to give presents. Love it. But I'm not ashamed to admit that I also love to receive them. Joe is NEVER at a loss for what to buy me for Christmas or my birthday. Him on the other hand.....he SUCKS to buy for. So hard. Do you watch that new show out called the Modern Family? If so you will get this when I say he almost got 5 hugs and a visit from Spandeau Ballet. Don't watch the show? Then you will have NO idea what that means. Rant over.

The kids were much spoiled this year. Big hits in our house were a Nintendo DS for Pierce....which I think came with a side of crack because he has barely put it down in 4 days and an easel with art stuff for Mallory. I was spoiled a bit every this year too! I got a Kindle and I am in LOVE with it. Bet you can't guess what the very first book I put on it was? I also scored a bottle of bubble vodka (yum) some perfume, an Archivers gift card and a case of wine. Yep, a case.

We actually have PLANS for New Year's Eve. We are going to a party at THIS GIRL'S house where I will once again manage to elude THIS GUY
and keep my true identity a secret.

This brings me back to my birthday. My present this year is a plane ticket that is taking me to HOUSTON!!! No, not with Joe....the best gift ever is a weekend with your GIRLS right? So I am hoping a plane with the above noted New Year's Eve party giver to go to Houston to visit THIS GIRL (don't bother, she never updates), this biatch, this girl, going to cut THIS GIRL, hopefully get to make out with THIS GIRL and her non blogging sister as well as a few other of my besties. Yep, going to have a weekend with "those Internet friends" If you missed last year's debacle (one of them) it can be found HERE. Whew, that was a lot of links

It has only been a few months for most of us but we are finding that this whole "long distance relationship" thing really sucks. I miss them more each day and cannot wait until we are back together....in Houston....for a boot scootin good time YA'LL

So there you are caught up to the last month or so in my world. I'm going to try and get better and being here more often (Jodi, I'm talking to YOU) and I hope everyone had a MERRY CHRISTMAS

1st Annual Run for Row 5K Memorial Run

I made it back from Buffalo in one piece. Barely. I cannot even tell you what an honor it was to share this weekend with Andrea and her beautiful family. Her strength is amazing, she is beautiful, her babies are beautiful. It was awesome to see over 300 people come together in memory of her husband Matt.

This weekend was SUPPOSED to be low key....our lovely hostess had other plans and surprised us with a buffet and OPEN BAR at a restaurant the night we all got in. Things went a little downhill that night but it was sooooooo worth it. Sunday morning however was a little rough. We all made it to the run (barely) and the girls who ran it did AWESOME!!!! I was SO SO proud of them. I never intended to run it but once I saw people finishing 20 minutes in me and a few others thought we would be better suited to cheer our friends in and take pictures as they crossed the finish line. In other words, we bailed. But, we were there to support Andrea and the awesome charity for her kids and that was the important part for me.

Andrea, I love you to pieces....I love your kids to pieces. GOOD LUCK with the move this week. Can't wait till we can all come and ascend on you in LA

Sat night, before things got fuzzy.

Toasting to Matt...can you look close and guess which hand is mine?

Matt's family all wore shirts with his picture on the back, such a handsome man.....

All of us together post race. Not to bad since most of us were hungover. Andrea is in the very front in black.

Before we left yesterday AM. My car is a bit notorious because I have a personalized plate, a Mickey Mouse hitch cover and family stickers with Mickey Mouse hats. It's how I roll and they are all just jealous.


I'm going to let you use your imagination on the details of the weekend. It was not AS bad as the trip in Feb (though I did not puke on THAT trip...but I also was not drinking wine out of a carafe on that trip either) We had so much fun and even though I miss my friends, my liver is so glad we can only do this a few times a year.

Bittersweet

Tonight I am heading to Cleveland with my good friend Kelly to pick up 2 more of my friends so that tomorrow morning we can head to Buffalo. I am so very happy to be seeing some of my bestest friends this weekend but so very sad for the reason that we are getting together.

Last fall my sweet friend Andrea lost her husband in an accident that sadly could have been prevented by his company. Now Andrea is raising her young kids without the love of her life. Believe it or not I have yet to meet Andrea even though I have known her for at least 5 years through my mommy board. Even though I have never met her, I love her dearly, and I have cried many tears for her, Matt and their babies.

This weekend about 20 girls from our mommy board are coming together to support Andrea in the first annual Run For Row 5k. In which I will be walking, not running thankyouverymuch. I have no doubt that we will laugh ourselves stupid and have fun being together again but on the flip side I also know there will probably be some tears as we support our friend who in the past 9 months has had more on her plate then anyone should. While we love being together....especially since it only happens a few times a year, I wish it was not because Matt died.

Andrea, I know you probably wont read this for awhile (although reading my blog should take priority over, ohhh, MOVING right?) but I am so happy to be able to come and support you this weekend. I just wish we were meeting under different circumstances. Hopefully the train wreck that is this group of girls will make you laugh as much as we can this weekend!

In case you missed my last weekend trip with my mommy board besties....you can read about it HERE. I think it is a good thing that God did not allow us all to live in the same place.

Napping 101

I slept like it was my job this weekend. It was awesome. Napping ranks up there with reading and scrapbooking as one of my favorite things to do. When I nap, I mean it. None of this half asleep on the couch with the TV on crap that Joe likes to call a nap.

some most weekends I nap with Mallory. After lunch we go up into my bed (awesome habit I know)to start the process that is the nap. Jammies must be worn, a true nap cannot be had in clothes. I turn the fan on (love me some white noise) pull the blinds closed, pick the poodle up (she also is a fan of the nap) and snuggle in with Mallory.

This mother/daughter/poodle bonding usually lasts 1.5-2 hours but this weekend naps lasted 3 hours on both days. I suppose I should be ashamed of myself but I dont. I have insomnia issues at night. I don't know why but it takes me at least an hour to fall asleep every night. Meanwhile next to me is Joe snoring his face off and making me contemplate smothering him with a pillow. Add that to the fact that I never sleep through the night EVER and you get why my blog is titled so.

Other than napping I did have a few fun moments this weekend. My BFF from high school had her TWINS on Saturday. That is better than ME having twins because I get to love them and send them home. Also I got to spend some time with Kelly and Nicole (and where were YOU)

Are you saving up your kids' goodies for this weeks "The Kids Said WHAT?" I already have a tasty nugget from Pierce....that involves GEESE.

Happy Monday!

Reason #233 Why Boys Are Dumb

I got a new toy over the weekend. It's pink, it's 10 inches and it brings me great pleasure.....want to know what it is?

Now that your minds are out of the gutter you little pervs let me tell you about my new toy! It appears that Joe and I I have a problem sharing. Each night after our kids are in bed I would plop down on the couch and proceed to monopolize the laptop for as long as I felt need to do so. I'm a busy girl, what with building my virtual zoo on facebook and chatting with my mommy board friends. Now granted we have a desktop in another room but it is very far away from the TV and neither of us would sacrifice our shows to go use the crappy computer in the other room. Finally Joe got tired of my bitching and decided that we could get my pretty pink dell mini!!

On to the reason why boys are dumb....Seriously....why can guys not ASK FOR HELP when they need it? Why do they think they can do everything all by themselves? I swear I want to tell him that even though he CANT fix our broken dishwasher he is still good in bed....the 2 are NOT related. I remember back when I was pregnant with Pierce and we had just moved into our house.....he came home one day with tons of pipes mumbling some nonsense about re-doing some GAS pipes in the basement. I picked my poodle up and headed to my mom's for the day and told him to call me when he was done if he did not blow up the house.

I digress. This issue is about my pretty pink laptop and how I needed it hooked up to the Internet NOW. Now Joe is a smart guy and he actually does know how to set up wireless on a new computer....he did it with the soon to no longer be shared laptop and I was not at all concerned that he would not be able to get my new one set up. Until he couldn't. Apparently doing the normal thing that you do to set up a laptop to wireless was not working. That was the first night. The second night I told him that he should just call the Dell 24 hour customer service line. An hour later he is still sitting there looking at my laptop. Whenever Joe is fixing something or putting it together (Pierce's bike, a table that we bought, ect) I can guarantee that 2 things will come out of his mouth at some point. "This doesn't make any sense" and "sonofabitch". I again encourage him to call Dell to which he told me that I could call them if I wanted to. mmmmmmkay. FINALLY he concedes and gives them a call.

10 minutes later my laptop is up and running. Apparently my screen resolution was all jacked up and there was a little box that could not be seen that needed checked.

10 minutes later.

Boys are dumb.

(He also told me that the first thing he was going to do once he took posession of the old laptop was remove my Twilight wallpaper and replace it with some hot chick background. When he wasnt looking I replaced it with a picture of me. HA)

Ouch

Before I grumble about my pain I would like to point you towards my book blog. I was given the opportunity to review a book called Reunion by Therese Fowler. My review is up and if you are interested I am giving away the copy that I was given....you have to post over there if you want to be entered and I am having random.org pick the winner on Friday.

Now onto my regularly scheduled bitching.

I am sore. Why? Yesterday I tried something new.....I ran. Without a fire, a sale in the wine aisle or Edward Cullen cheering me on (oh wait, more on that in a minute).

A few months back Kami (cool name right?) sent me a program to get started on a running program. While I have never EVER been a runner, or even WANTED to be a runner, I thought that it would be a good way to get in shape and drop some weight.

Then I was given a little more incentive to want to do this......My sweet friend Andrea lost her husband in a tragic work accident last fall. Andrea and the company that her husband Matt worked for are having The 1st Annual "Run for Row" Memorial 5k.

When I first heard about this I knew right away that I wanted to be there to support Andrea and my other friends that would be running, no way did I plan to RUN in it. Actually I still don't have plans to run in it but maybe I could run/walk it. We will see.

Yesterday was day 1 towards "maybe" doing this. We will see how I do in the next few weeks....this week was the easy week.

Today I hurt like hell. To say I am out of shape is being nice.

Oh and Edward......he actually DID kind of help. I had Twilight (the movie) playing on my iPod while I was on the treadmill....in my mind I was running to him........heehee

Survived New York......Not without a bit of drama of course

I thought about doing this NOT ME style but that will take WAY to much effort.



I had SO. MUCH. FUN. in NYC.....even with an unexpected bit of drama.



We got there around 6AM. I had not slept much on the bus and I was SO tired but there was not much to be done about that. We were dropped off at Rockefeller Center and told to meet back at 8 that night. We got lucky with beautiful weather all day long. The first thing we did was hop the subway to head towards the ground zero area since all of the shops were still closed.


We took the subway all day long...some of the people on the trip wanted no part of that but it really was not bad at all, yeah some were dirty but we did not have any trouble getting where we needed to be and we were able to see so many more parts of the city that way.


The World Trade Center is actually under construction to be re-built right now. It was kind of a bummer not to be able to see it due to construction fences up everywhere. The one thing that I thought was SO cool was the St Paul's Chapel which is directly across from where the Twin Towers stood was left unharmed after the attacks.



We spent some time in a store called Century 21 which had a lot of designer clothes and shoes at a more reasonable price. I bought one little bathing suit cover up for Mallory (Kate Mack brand) but I was not about to go nuts there because I needed to save my money for......

PURSES

We hopped back on the subway and headed into China Town. This was where the real fun began....as SOON as we got up onto the street they started. And by THEY I mean the purse people. They walk around the streets mumbling under there breath and this is what you BARELY hear....."Coach, Chanel, Prada.....Coach, Purses?? Chanel?" Seriously....all just so you can barely hear them. Once you make eye contact they give you a "look" and you kind of nod and the next thing you know you are in the back of some shady parking lot in a kidnapper van with no windows filled with purses. It was awesome. At one point I was so excited to be following someone through a parking lot that I tore a hole in my jeans on some rusty van and barely avoided a nice case of tetanus. That however was not the best part about shopping in China Town. The best part was when we followed some guy into a shop, went behind a curtain, down a hall and then he OPENED PART OF THE WALL to reveal another hallway that lead to a room full of bags. You could not even tell it was a door. These people are pretty serious about not getting caught...they use walkie talkies to find out if it is safe to bring people in. Scandalous!!

Once I scored my 2 "Pradas" and a pair of Chanel sunglasses we headed back to the not shady part of our day which was lunch at Hard Rock and then shopping at Macy's.

Feet are starting to hurt by now.

We capped our day off with a quick visit to Central Park which was super pretty and then headed back towards Rockefeller center to grab dinner quick somewhere and wait on the bus. One last stop into an AWESOME cupcake bakery that thank GOD is not in my city and then we were ready to go home.

And then the drama started.

About 10 after 8 one bus has shown up along with the owner of the company. Apparently when our awesome bus driver Rudy went to start the bus that my group was on it did not start. And we had to spend the night. A lot of people were pissed because by this point everyone was so tired and just wanted to go home. But what could we do, better it broke down here than in the mountains in PA. The owner of the company was awesome....she put everyone in a hotel just outside of the city and paid for it. We ended up not getting home until 7PM instead of 7AM.

One complication of spending an unexpected night.....clean undies!! Thank goodness that I am super smart and am always prepared but SOME people....who shall remain nameless....because they did give birth to me had to ride home commando and SOME people who shall remain nameless but might be related to me in other ways might have turned their skivies inside out.

Once I got home I pretty much turned right around and went out again.....yes I AM a rock star thank you......how could I not go and see THIS GIRL who came into town. So I capped my night off at a Mexican restaurant with her and This other girl I kind of like.

Here are a few pics for your viewing pleasure if you made it this far.....

Group pic with our awesome driver Rudy I'm the one under the B.

Mini Van (not to be confused with the kidnapper van that was also visited) full of goodies....you can barely see me, I'm the blue shirt with her head in the van.
Happy Monday!

Once a Whore Always a Whore

well I did not win a blog make over (damn you Aileigh) but I would LOVE to win this stash from one of my favorite people both in real life and here in the blog world.

So here I am whoring for another give-a-way.....

mama-loco (ohhh, lookie, I linked more that one word!!) is celebrating her 100th post. I heart this girl a whole lot so go visit her and check out her give-a-way


Happy 100th Mellisa! Love you bitch!

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Since I forgot to write everything down this past week I am NOT going to be pulling stuff out of thin air.

The most important thing that did NOT happen this past week......I did NOT spend all day Thursday in a foul mood because BFF NYKelly was in here in Ohio for a meeting and would be unable to get together due to time constraints. Then when she called with about one hour of free time I did NOT fly out of work like the building was on fire to go meet her at the Airport to have a quick drink with her compliments of her (hot) boss. If that had happened it would have been the highlight of my week because I heart her big time.

Friday night was NOT spent at a Mexican restaurant with my work BFFs consuming margaritas and chips and salsa. We did NOT have conversations of an R rated nature in a family restaurant...I wont name names but there was NOT homework of a dirty nature assigned which apparently was rated A+ the next day.

We also did NOT buy a pop up camper this weekend. If we had, I know that this may come to a surprise to some of you because what kind of high maintenance girl goes camping? I am NOT super excited about this.....my kids are NOT going to love it at all.....If we HAD bought a pop up camper it would be because this high maintenance girl actually LOVES to camp. As long as it is not in a tent.

I was NOT super excited to ship Joe off to play poker one night this weekend. I love spending every waking breathing moment with my husband and I did NOT have a hard time deciding if I should rent a movie or catch up on Desperate Housewives....in the end I did NOT do both.

Yesterday when Mallory and I laid down to take a nap at 12:30 we did NOT sleep until 4:00. Oops. I imagine that if we had taken a 3.5 hour nap that would have resulted in Mallory being awake and ready to party like a rock star until 3AM this morning. In my bed. If that had happened then I would be one super cranky tired mommy this morning who was also NOT late to work because she had some motivational issues.

Happy Monday. I'm NOT about to fall asleep at my desk.

Two Big Old Shout Outs!!!

I need to shout out a few of my favorite bloggers that I just so happened to WIN give-a-ways from. Now if I can just win the lottery.....

anyways.....Jenny from Jenny and the Princess Peonies awarded me a Target gift card for playing a little trivia on her blog a few weeks back. Thank you much girlfriend....I see a new book or some scrapping stuff in my future.

A few months back I entered a contest that Heather from "This is the Day" held. It was for one of 3 handmade items....I remember one was a set of cards, I forget the 2nd....and then a scrapbook made by her. I won the scrapbook! Now, as a scrapper myself I had to think for a few about what kind of book I wanted her to make for me. I then remembered that I had an awesome Girlfriends Weekend coming up and that is just the sort of thing that I would not take the time to scrap myself since I am always so darn busy doing the kids stuff. So when Heather asked me what theme I would like my book to be I decided on a "girlfriend" theme.

Guys, this book was well worth the wait! Heather put SO much time and thought into this and I absolutely LOVE it (Heather I know you told me to lie if I did not like it but come on, you HAVE to know me better than that by now...I am nothing if not honest) I flipped through the pages and while reading some of the friendship quotes I actually teared up a little thinking about how perfect it was for my weekend away and how much I miss those darn girls. My favorite quote....."A friend is one who will bail you out of jail, a BEST friend will be sitting there next to you saying MAN that was fun" I might of butchered the quote but you get the idea. Thank you SO much Heather! I can't wait to put it all together and when I do I will get some pics posted here so you can see what I did with it! You are awesome!!

Once again....putting off Q&A until tomorrow.....I want to be sure these ladies get all the attention today!

Oh yes I DID buy a snuggie

***This blog post is dedicated to the fabulous KristinaP Who made me accept that there is no shame in owning a Snuggie***

I did it. I bought a Snuggie. Don't judge me. You don't know what it was like week after week hearing KristinaP talk about her love for the Snuggie, seeing all the wonderful ways that she uses her Snuggie to better her life. In fact, just over the weekend she took her Snuggie to meet TONS of other bloggers at a brunch. Imagine that....bonding over the blanket with sleeves.....bringing bloggers together.....what a beautiful world we live in.

My Snuggie even came with a book light. So while I am reading in my Snuggie I can have the perfect lighting......sigh.....

There is however a small problem. And by small I mean about 40lbs.

Upon seeing my Snuggie Pierce gleefully announced......"Mommy!!! You bought me a SNUGGIE!!!! Now I can read a book, and work the remote...and still stay WARM"

He then proceeded to hold my Snuggie hostage for the remainder of the day.

Once again I am suffering from Snuggie envy. Perhaps I should just put my robe on backwards and shut up.

I did get to wear my snuggie for a bit last night while watching my boyfriend Edward on the Oscars.....I am happy to report that in no way does the Snuggie interfere with my ability to life the wine glass to my mouth. In fact.....it may have made the experience so much better......as I did not have to remove my arm from the confines of a blanket and risk a chill in doing so. Long live the Snuggie.

PS---I'm not posting my Q&A post until tomorrow.....so you can still ask away if you so desire....and FINE....mommy board friends...I will entertain your questions, just don't be assholes. MMMMWAH!!!

100th post and I want 100 Comments!!

Wow. It seems like I just started blogging and was all concerned that no one would care to read it. 100 posts and 72 followers later here we are! Thank you all for feeding my obsession with myself, my kids, Edward Cullen, and putting up with my sarcastic sense of humor....or lack there of

For the big 100 I thought I would highlight 100 things that I love. In groups of 10.....

The Rambler gave me a great idea to try and get 100 comments on my 100th post so please go tell your friends to come and worship me.....attention whore that I am. Go give me some love on your blog!! If you are brand shiny new and want to fall in love with me at first sight..and who would'nt....then read THIS It is a tale of bravery in the face of loss......

Ready. Go.

My top 10 Favorite books (or series since Twilight would take up 4 books) in no particular order

1)The Twilight Series. Duh
2)The Harry Potter Series
3)The Great Gatsby
4)Flowers in the Attic
5)The Shopaholic Series
6)The Time Traveler's Wife
7) Snow Flower and the Secret Fan
8) My Sister's Keeper
9)A Million Little Pieces (yes even after the truth came out)
10)The Gossip Girl Series


10 favorite movies
1)Dirty Dancing--"Nobody puts baby in the corner"
2)Goonies-"Hey, you guys!"
3)Twilight---Duh....
4)The Breakfast Club (words to live by:Andrew: "Why do you have to insult everybody?"John Bender: "I'm being honest, asshole. I would expect you to know the difference.")
5)Titanic-"I'll never let go...."
6)Beaches-But enough about me, let's talk about you... what do YOU think of me?
7)Shag the Movie-"Y'all is the horniest bunch of white folks I ever seen!"
8)Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory-you cannot beat lickable wallpaper...wonder if it comes in Merlot?
9)The Parent Trap-(the original one) "I'm not saying a word. Not one single word."
10)Sixteen Candles "Oh sexy giiiiirrlllllfrieeeeeend"


10 Favorite TV Shows
1)Lost-even though I want to bang my head on a wall while watching it
2)House-yeah, um. Can he be my gynecologist. Yes I DID just go there
3)Bones-however if Booth and Bones don't get busy soon I may stop watching

4)America's Next Top Model--FIERCE

5)American Idol-after the auditions....those make me crazy

6)Beverly Hills 90210 Dyan and Kelly were SO soulmates

7)90210--trying to bring back the olden days but doesn't QUITE hit it....still love it through

8)Intervention--I love being reminded that some people are more jacked up than I am

9)Cold Case--this is my secret career choice--but I don't like dead people
10)Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (seriously.....makes me smile to watch my baby girl watch "her friends"

10 places that that I would love to travel to:

1)Italy-wine
2)France.....but not Paris....somewhere south---wine
3)Cabo San Lucas-beach
4)Napa Valley-duh
5)Hawaii-beach and wine....must be heaven
6)Maine....somewhere on the coast-seafood
7)England-get back to my roots
8)Los Angeles-because I'm a stalker and I would love to chase down a celebrity
9)Ireland-again with the roots....
10)Australia-wine


10 favorite places that I have been

1)Disney World--I love it even more as an adult then I did as a child.
2)Xcaret in the Rivera Maya--underground snorkeling and swimming with dolphins....so awesome
3)Boston--home of the New Kids and was a kick ass get together with my mommy friends
4)Holden Beach, NC-summer vacation every year!
5)Biltmore Estate in NC--they have a winery.....
6)New Orleans--very cool to see even if I did have a one year old with me at the time
7)Cancun---drunken spring break with my sorority sisters----crappy hotel though
8)The Dunns River Falls in Jamaica---I did not hurt myself and THAT was an accomplishment
9)Key West--an entire street to party on....this is a happy place
10)Chicago--only been one time....fun shopping!

10 favorite posts on my blog

10)You can read my fairy tale HERE Be warned...it is not for the faint of heart

9)My first venture into Dear Diary Thursday....I call my mom a garden tool HERE

8)Say my name right or I will cut you...... HERE

7) Read about how cool I USED to be HERE

6)My first Letter to my children

5)A letter written by Mallory

4) Pierce's response

3) Introducing you to myFIRST baby....way before kids....

2)The sarcastic things I was thankful for last Thanksgiving HERE

1)Yes this was very recent but I meant ever word of it HERE

10 Things I would take if I were stranded on an island (other then my kids)

1)My iPod--cannot live without it

2)My phone--I need it to facebook about being stuck on an island

3)My computer--for blogging

4)My Ugg Boots-they keep your feet at body temperature no matter WHERE you are

5)My makeup--to look pretty when I get saved

6)My Mary Jane Crocs-they are cute AND practical for being stranded on a beach

7)My Tiffany Tag bracelet....the first piece of jewelry Joe ever bought me--memories.....

8)My Wedding set-so that when I DO get rescued by a hot pirate (Johnny Depp) I can remind him and myself that I am spoken for

9)My book collection (okay, I cant just pick ONE)

10)My scrapbook stuff ---gotta scrapbook those memories of being stranded

10 Things You May Not Know About Me:

1)I hate the dentist. The thought of getting a filling makes me all anxiety-y

2)I no longer have a relationship with my father. I have not seen or spoken to him in over 10 years. I am okay with this.

3)My favorite years in school always hit every other year. 6th, 8th, 10th and 12th grade were my FAVORITES

4)I went to THE Ohio State University

5)While I was there I was an Alpha Omicron Pi sister

6)I am a video game nerd.....big time.

7)I once had...ahem....relations with my boyfriend in a library while in college

5)I do not like beer. I never have and will never "acquire the taste for it" like everyone always told me. I was the girl in school pouring a bottle of wine into a "to go cup" to take to parties where I knew there would only be beer

4)I have very strange taste in food....I like anchovies, raw oysters and could eat blue cheese by the pound

3)I have only had c-sections, never had to push (never dilated) and I think having babies the old fashioned way is kind of strange

2)Some of my best childhood memories are from spending summers in New Jersey with the father that I no longer have a relationship with. This has nothing really to do with him but more with the friends that I made there....2 of who I still keep in touch with.

1)My mom ran over my foot once with her car. It was my fault. I jumped out while it was still moving. It hurt.

10 Jobs that I have had:

1)Lee's Famous Recipe Chicken

2)Ponderosa Steakhouse.....the ONLY time I have been a waitress

3)The Library at Ohio State.....if you are smart you will make a connection here

4)The Office for Disability Services at Ohio State....very cool job....I got to put books onto tape for visually impaired students and also read and scribe tests for them.

5)Victoria's Secret---hello free bras!

6)Elder Beerman (also retail)

7)A Tanning Salon

8)The Traveling Vineyard.....In home Wine Consultant....THIS was a fun job

9)Fire Insurance Underwriter

10)Health Insurance Underwriter

10 Things That Rock About Being ME

10)I live in a great city that has tons of cool stuff to do. Both for adults AND kids. We have the best college football team and awesome shopping. I never want to move.

9)My husband is the best man I have ever met. He is a wonderful father and a wonderful husband. Some might say I take a special person to put up with me.....he is it. I am lucky to have him and I am happy to be spending my life with my soul mate.

8)My kids kick ass. yeah, they don't respect sleep and I pretty much live as a zombie most days but they are so funny, sweet, cuddly and lovable that I just cant bring myself to sell them on eBay

7)I have a cool mom. Granted she gives me opinions more then I would like but other then that she is like a BFF....she is fun, likes to have a good time and makes me laugh with her randomness

6)My friends rock. I have the best friends EVER. My college girlfriends and I are still close...I love spending time with them and love watching as we all "grow up" together. Those of us that have kids....I love watching THEM grow up together.....those of you that still have that coming down the line....I cannot WAIT to help you plan your weddings and teach you how to not break your kids. My mommy board friends.....you don't need me to tell you how much I love you all....we have something special that many people don't ever have in their lives, it has been unreal going on this journey with you all.

5)I scrapbook like a mad fool. Okay, so maybe not everyone will think this is something COOL....but I do. When God made me he seemed to forget to give me coordination (that went to my sister) or any sort of musical talent (brother)...no athletic ability (sister again) but he DID give me enough talent to take semi decent pics and put them all together in pretty little packages that I call scrapbooks. And like I tell Joe (usually when he is pissed at how much money my "talent" costs) Preserving our family memories is hard work.

4)Not only do I have a job....I have one that I like. I have been fortunate enough to work for the same company for 11 years. I have never had a supervisor that I did not like, I have made very close friends here that make the time go by fast, and my mom works one floor up.

3)I grew up in and still have a very close extended family. My mom is one of 7 kids....I have tons of cousins and my grandparents on this side are still alive. Holidays are chaotic but they are fun. I'm glad that my kids are growing up with all of these crazy people too.

2)I take pride in being a good person. If I love you I will do anything for you. I am honest to the point of being blunt, I will not lie to you (except when I shop at the scrapbook store) and if you need me to cut someone for you I will. Nothing pisses me off more then someone doing something shady to someone I love.

1)And the last thing that rocks about being me......I have the MAD capability to nap at any given time. Not in a narcolepsy kind of way but if I need a nap I can nap like it is my JOB. None of this half asleep on the couch with the TV on crap (JOE). I'm talking full on jammies in the bed with my curtains drawn. Now I'm tired.

I hope you enjoyed my 100th post. If you didn't....eh, never mind. I will be nice today.

She's Got Bette Davis Eyes.....

So I took this "which female icon are you" quiz that has been floating around blogland.....my results were kind of creepy. If you have met me......you will see what I mean.....who knew Bette Davis was such an awesome person! I have added some thoughts in BLUE

You are a Bette -- "I must be strong"
Bettes are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

How to Get Along with Me
* Stand up for yourself... and me.
* Be confident, strong, and direct.
* Don't gossip about me or betray my trust. um, hello work friend
* Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side. I don't show it much so pay attention when I do
* Give me space to be alone. with wine
* Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me. well, you can flatter me a little
* I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack. Now shut up and keep reading
* When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am. AMEN

What I Like About Being a Bette
* being independent and self-reliant Most of the time
* being able to take charge and meet challenges head on bring it!
* being courageous, straightforward, and honest It's how I roll
* getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
* supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me If you mess with those I love, I will cut you
* upholding just causes

What's Hard About Being a Bette
* overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to and welcome to my life.
* being restless and impatient with others' incompetence I don't like stupid people
* sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
* never forgetting injuries or injustices I forgive....I don't forget
* putting too much pressure on myself
* getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right

Bettes as Children Often this is the only section I DON'T agree with
* are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
* are sometimes loners
* seize control so they won't be controlled
* figure out others' weaknesses
* attack verbally or physically when provoked
* take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings

Bettes as Parents
* are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted aren't most of us?
* are sometimes overprotective lil bit
* can be demanding, controlling, and rigid --not at all actually

On an unrelated note......my good friend Melissa who you may know from Mama-Loco is having surgery on her neck today. Please go give her some love!

not me monday...the drunken jersey weekend edition

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This is the drunken trainwreck in Jersey weekend version of NOT ME MONDAY. If you read my blog you will know that Thursday night I flew out to spend a weekend with some of my bestest friends. The following is what did not transpire....

I did not arrive in new jersey for my girls weekend already drunk. No way would I need to take 2 xanax and drink 3 glasses of wine to take a one hour plane ride.

I did not continue to drink the night away.....if i had it would only have been because I don't get away without my kids all that often and when I do.....I tend to let loose.

In fact I did not get asked by one of my friends why I am not "this much fun at home". Ummm, no kids. That's why

I also did not steal my wine glass from the bar. No way do I tend to turn into a klepto when I have been drinking.

I did not tell my lovely hostess on Friday morning that I needed to go to cvs and get a new toothbrush because I forgot mine. I was not so drunk that I would have forgotten that I brushed my teeth Friday night in her bathroom and left my toothbrush in there. What am I? A lush?
Friday night did not lead to more drinking. when I go away for girls weekend with my mommy board friends we sit around and sing kum ba ya......not behave like drunken skanks.

When my lovely hostess had a bit too much to drink and ran to the bathroom to puke....I did not grab my camera and capture the moment on film while laughing my ass off at her. I'm a way better friend than that....I'm the kind that holds hair....not takes pictures

Sat night the train wreck of 25 girls did not head into Philly....on a party bus. I did not shake my butt on the party bus and sing Baby Got Back at the top of my lungs. I am a mother....I do not behave like a drunken sorority girl....not me.
There was not a girl in our group who caused a huge rumble at the bar....we did not leave fearing for our lives.....we did not take pictures of said rumble.......we did not continue to watch the rumble carry on in the streets as the bouncers threw the drunk assholes out of the bar......
I did not have my very first ever authentic Philly cheese steak......with cheese wiz.....
Speaking of wizzing......I did not have to hear how 2 of my friends peed in an ally in the snow since they could not find a bathroom.
Since I behaved all night I did not head straight to my room and pass out 5 seconds after getting dropped back off from our night.

I did not wake up Sunday morning and want to take a bottle of Aleve.....I'm not so old that I can't shake my butt at a bar and not hurt like crazy the next day.

I did not hear Mama-Loco explain how she got a great shot of me because she was 'going down on me' if she had said this it would have been because she was standing at the top of the stairs taking a picture....not because we love each other like that.....no thanks...if this HAD happened we both would have laughed our butt's off when she realized what she had said. Tool.
Speaking of Mama-Loco.....I did not threaten her life if I had to hear one more flipping time how pretty the snow is.....I did not tell her that i was going to put her face right in it if she did not shut up y'all
On Sunday about 30 minutes before we needed to leave for the airport Ryann did NOT lock us out of her house. With our bags inside. Since this did NOT happen there was no cause for panic about the lack of a spare key anywhere. But if it would happen then I would have saved the day....how you ask? By walking about 3 houses up and cutting two yard behind.....hearing the sounds of someone trimming a tree usually means there is a ladder nearby. If this HAD happened you might have heard me calling to this guy like a fool, explaining the situation and asking him if he would not mind bringing his ladder around to assist us. If it HAD happened it would have resulted in us getting in ninja style and it might have looked something like this...

(typing this all out and looking at the pics right now does NOT make me want to call her and laugh at her.......again.)

I did NOT start to tear up as we all left for the airport one by one. I do not love these girls sooo much that it kills me not to know when we will see each other again......

A little explanation......these girls and I "met" about 8 years ago planning our weddings and using the chat boards on The Knot.Com. Since then it has evolved into a separate message board that we have been using for over 5 years. Most of us have met in real life.....A handful of us feel like sisters that were separated at birth.....We try to get together at least once a year but the more we do that the more we realize that we cannot live without each other for that long. These are the kids of friends you don't know how you made it this far without. I love you girls SO much and I cannot wait to see you again! Miss you, Love you.....(Cut you)

Mommy's Gone Wild-Episode 2009

Tonight at around 6PM I will be boarding a plane for my weekend of drunken madness.

I. HATE. TO. FLY. Hate it. I woke up this morning and the anxiety set in immediately. Thank you Lord for Xanax.

There are about 20 ladies from all over the place getting together for what is sure to be an awesome weekend. We will laugh until we cry, cry until we laugh and just have a great time getting away.

Some of the lovely ladies I will be spending my weekend with....the one's who blog anyways....

Melissa- My sweet Texan friend who I have not seen since 2006
Kelly who despite living 15 minutes away I have not seen since Dec
Another Kelly who I have not seen since 2007
Lauren who I also have not seen since 2006
Stacey and Bre two more Texas girls who are gonna FREEZE Y'ALL

What I love about this group of friends is even though more then a year can go by without us seeing each other.....we talk every day and pick up right where we left off once we get together. They are like sisters to me and I cannot WAIT to play this weekend.

Look Out Jersey.......

I fear that my google reader will throw up on me when I get back. I may just have to hit the "mark all as read" button. I have a feeling that my lovely hostess Ryann would cut my hands off before she let me blog or read blogs on my weekend of debauchery.

Have a great weekend!

Tag, Im it! Things that mad me MAD

I have been tagged by Mrs Och for a "10 Things that piss me off" meme. FUN. I enjoy complaining from time to time so this will be therapeutic

1)Winter. Yep, the whole darn season. I could not just pick one aspect of it because there are soooo many to choose from. Icy driveways, dirty slushy roads, the feeling of the inside of your nose freezing when you breath....and my favorite....big ass hunks of ice flying off of semi trucks that you never know if and when they will hit you. Yep, Winter pisses me off.

2)Dieting. I know that SOME people try and tell me that it is "not a diet, it is a lifestyle" Bite me. I hate dieting. I don't WANT a Lean Cuisine meal I want Chipolte. mmmmm, Chipolte......

3)I mentioned this in a post of mine waaaaay back at the beginning of my blog but I am bringing it up again because it really grates on my nerves. People who laugh for NO REASON AT ALL. Like they are nervous about something. I said it then and I will say it now....what are are you so nervous about? Do you have a dead body in your car?

4)Having some of my bestest friends EVER live in dumb places like Texas, New York and New Jersey. Now before you get your panties all in bunches take note....I really don't think these places are dumb at all.....I'm just bitter that I don't get to see these girls without spending money to get there. That said TOMORROW I fly out to play.....Wonder if I will have my very first "blunk" session while I am there? (blogging while drunk....get it) Wow....I just got off track....

5)When my husband answers a question I ask him with the word (if you can call it that) "eh" This gets on my nerves SO badly and he knows it. From here on out I am going to interpret "eh" to be the answer that I WANT. So if you don't want me to go shopping say "NO" not "eh" because "eh" means that I am bringing home like 8 pairs of shoes.

6)People who hurt their children. I had such a hard time with this yesterday and I don't want to get into thinking about it again but let me just say.....I hope these people get hit by the karma bus big time.......I try to "hate the sin and not the sinner" as I have been told but I want to dig the eyes out of anyone who hurts their own babies.....with a fork. I am not a violent person but this realllllllllly pushes me towards the edge of it

7)Parts of the "system" This is a new one right now because of a family member. Parts of the system that say you can't have a restraining order against someone unless there is "enough" incidences to warrant one. So what.....??? Call back after he assaults her? mmmmkay.

8)Whining. not to be excused with WINING which would be on my "list of things that make me happy" The ability of a child to stretch a one syllable word into a 5 syllable word is like nails on a chalkboard to me.

9)My Dryer. My dryer is out to get me. Not only is it notorious for eating socks as most dryers are but mine shrinks my clothes. All the time. Sometimes more then once.....the dryer shrinks them.....yep.....that is my story......damn dryer

10)Lastly....BARKING. This is a problem. I have 2 very small yappy dogs. I want to put a shock collar on them. The things they bark at include but are certainly not limited to
-cats
-kids
-toys that make noise
-anything living that has the audacity to step into our yard
-the act of standing up....yes, sometimes when I stand up to walk into another room the littlest yappy dog FLIPS OUT. Like he thinks he has to protect me from the unknown.
-each other. One cannot bark alone.

I'm not tagging because I think we could ALL use this therapy session and if you want it....you may have it!

Whoring sometimes DOES pay off.....

How many of you came in here all interested in the title of this post? Dirty minds!

I meant Whoring for a GIVEAWAY!!! I won a $50 gift certificate for a KozyPal Cart cover! I have one of these myself and it is awesome! I had to keep her business card's in the little pocket of it because I got stopped every time I used it to ask where I had gotten it. I am particularly excited to see that she know will personalize the cart covers with the baby's name! How cute!!

My cousin is currently pregnant and I cannot wait to give her one for her baby shower! Yeah!!

A few random thoughts from me today......

I leave for my girly weekend the DAY AFTER TOMORROW and I am so excited I just may wet my pants.

I had to stifle a giggle upon leaving the house today and seeing our jacked up garbage cans at the end of the driveway. You know....the ones I did NOT destroy......

That is all.

(almost) Wordless Thursday.....That's Right....THURSDAY

Since my winter rant kept me from being wordless yesterday....I'm going to go with Wordless Thursday

Honest Scrap....Thanks Alexis!!

Alexis has bestowed on me the Honest Scrap award! This one comes with the stipulation of coming up with 10 honest things about yourself. I have always prided myself on being a blunt honest person so let's see what I can come up with.

1)I like to keep it old school in 2 areas of my life....reading and Wii playing. I still read V.C Andrews books and Flowers in the Attic is my favorite book. The new books....yeah, they all suck...but I read them anyways. Wii.....I love the play the Wii....but what you don't know is I spend more time playing the old school FIRST Nintendo games that you can download onto the Wii. I love to play Super Mario Brothers and Zelda games. Like a dork.

2)Joe and I met in a blind date scenario. One that I was damn determined to avoid. I met him with my aunt and a group of people that they worked with. I told my aunt over and over before I conceded to meet him that I did not need my aunt to hook me up with a boy. Um. Thanks Aunt Janice.

3)I met some of my very best friends in the world on the Internet. What started on theknot.com turned into another message board where I have been for over 5 years. We only get to see each other once or twice a year but I love these girls like sisters and I can't wait to see them in a few weeks.

4)I slept with a teddy bear until college

5)I have an irrational fear of flying, spiders, tornados and needles.

6)I want one more tattoo really bad and I want it on my foot.

7)I once slept with someone else's boyfriend (an ex of mine)and then lied to her face when she asked me about it. She was not my friend (to say the least) so I did not care.

8)I have a little half brother and sister that I have not seen in over 10 years. They are my dad's other kids and they are 13 and 15. Last I knew they lived with their slut bag mom who is my dad's ex. I wish I could find them but would have no clue where to start since I also do not have a relationship with my father.

9) I cry when I'm mad. It pisses me off because I feel like it is a sign of weakness when really it is a sign of me wanting to punch you in the face.

10)I have much love for my mini van. Screw you if you think it is lame.

Now, as far as passing this along goes....this one has been getting passed around a lot here in blogland so I'm going to keep it on my shelf for awhile. Thanks Alexis....this was fun