The Ultimate **** Blocker

Yeah, I can't so much use that word in the title of my blog post....but the story has to be told. The story of how a 10lb dog is the ultimate cock blocker

I have mentioned Scarlet before here. Told you how she is my first baby, how I've had her longer than I've had Joe. Well, he seems to forget that she tends to be a tad on the possessive side....and I don't mean of me.

Scarlet respects sleep as much as I do. Maybe even more though I don't see how that is possible. She spends most of the day sleeping in my basket of laundry....be it clean or dirty. Of course at night she sleeps with us. Has been in my bed for 13 years and let's face it.....that is the longest ANYONE has been in my bed.

The point of all of this is what occured on Saturday morning. My kids actually slept until 7 on Saturday. This is like a once every 6 month occurrence. Even better was that when the did get up they were receptive to the idea of putting a movie on in Pierce's room allowing us just a little more time to sleep in. Riddle me this.....what part of SLEEP IN means slide over and try to make out with me? Before I've even really opened my eyes. You know, that subtle pressing against you that is REALLY FREAKING ANNOYING??

Fast forward a few minutes. I still have not killed Joe.... and he this he assumes is the green light to get even friskier when really it just means I'm too lazy to even yell at him. Ahhhh, but the force field is in the way. And she is not ready to wake up yet and she is no where NEAR ready to be asked to move to the foot of the bed. Scarlet is all curled up between us and has no immediate plans to move.

Joe asks nicely...patting at the foot of the bed. She looks at him in disgust and closes her eyes again. He tries to play master and a little firmer tells her to move. She growls at him. He then decides to play with fire and pick her up. And almost loses a finger. Yeah, she snapped at him pretty good and I giggled while he muttered something about her being a cock blocker.

The end of this story did not turn out the way Joe had hoped. The moral? Extra sleep in time does NOT mean we are having the sexy time. It means I am going back to sleep and maybe if you are lucky you will get some later that night.

Maybe

Q&A part deux

I'm making my way back to the land of the living. Which means I'm coughing my face off at work today versus sleeping in a Lortab induces haze of goodness. The past few days I have not ventured out of bed until at least noon and it has been fantastic despite feeling like total crap. You know, cuz I heart sleep.

I did not forget about the Q/A post I did last week I think it was and today is brought to you by the fabulous http://www.blogger.com/Shannon who wants to know:

I'd like to know...if you could take back or change one thing in your life/past what would it be?
Also, if you could re-live one great moment, what would it be?

This was a tough one for me because I'm a big believer that everything happens for a reason. That said I would probably CHANGE 1999. Yep, the entire year. 1999 for me started out ending a long term relationship that I had thought would have lead to marriage. He was the love of my college life and after college our lives just took separate directions. Now I would not take back the break up because it eventually lead me to Joe but I kissed a lot of frogs in 1999 to get to eventually get to that prince. 1999 was labeled as "The year I forgot I was no longer in college" Yeah, I had some fun partying with sorority sisters who were still in school but trying to go to work in the big kid world with a college kid hangover was NO fun. There were fun "mistakes" like that random trip to Windsor that had me sleeping in a car in a parking garage with a boyfriend and his alcoholic friends because we did not book a hotel room....ahhh the good old days. WAIT, I mean MAN was I immature.

Anyways, 1999 was a year of bad choices that even though I came out of them okay I could have done without a few of them.

If I could relive any one great moment......I would probably have to go with the first few months of Pierce's life. I was "lucky" enough to be blessed with PPD after Pierce was born and it took me a good month or so to really fall in love with my baby. Isn't that awful? Instead of marveling in the beauty of my new baby I spent a lot of time crying and wanting him to be held by anyone but me. I know that he wont ever know this (unless I choose to tell him) but I really wish I had been one to just be magically overwhelmed with everything related to my newborn. That said....he is pretty darn cool now.

Napping 101

I slept like it was my job this weekend. It was awesome. Napping ranks up there with reading and scrapbooking as one of my favorite things to do. When I nap, I mean it. None of this half asleep on the couch with the TV on crap that Joe likes to call a nap.

some most weekends I nap with Mallory. After lunch we go up into my bed (awesome habit I know)to start the process that is the nap. Jammies must be worn, a true nap cannot be had in clothes. I turn the fan on (love me some white noise) pull the blinds closed, pick the poodle up (she also is a fan of the nap) and snuggle in with Mallory.

This mother/daughter/poodle bonding usually lasts 1.5-2 hours but this weekend naps lasted 3 hours on both days. I suppose I should be ashamed of myself but I dont. I have insomnia issues at night. I don't know why but it takes me at least an hour to fall asleep every night. Meanwhile next to me is Joe snoring his face off and making me contemplate smothering him with a pillow. Add that to the fact that I never sleep through the night EVER and you get why my blog is titled so.

Other than napping I did have a few fun moments this weekend. My BFF from high school had her TWINS on Saturday. That is better than ME having twins because I get to love them and send them home. Also I got to spend some time with Kelly and Nicole (and where were YOU)

Are you saving up your kids' goodies for this weeks "The Kids Said WHAT?" I already have a tasty nugget from Pierce....that involves GEESE.

Happy Monday!

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Since I forgot to write everything down this past week I am NOT going to be pulling stuff out of thin air.

The most important thing that did NOT happen this past week......I did NOT spend all day Thursday in a foul mood because BFF NYKelly was in here in Ohio for a meeting and would be unable to get together due to time constraints. Then when she called with about one hour of free time I did NOT fly out of work like the building was on fire to go meet her at the Airport to have a quick drink with her compliments of her (hot) boss. If that had happened it would have been the highlight of my week because I heart her big time.

Friday night was NOT spent at a Mexican restaurant with my work BFFs consuming margaritas and chips and salsa. We did NOT have conversations of an R rated nature in a family restaurant...I wont name names but there was NOT homework of a dirty nature assigned which apparently was rated A+ the next day.

We also did NOT buy a pop up camper this weekend. If we had, I know that this may come to a surprise to some of you because what kind of high maintenance girl goes camping? I am NOT super excited about this.....my kids are NOT going to love it at all.....If we HAD bought a pop up camper it would be because this high maintenance girl actually LOVES to camp. As long as it is not in a tent.

I was NOT super excited to ship Joe off to play poker one night this weekend. I love spending every waking breathing moment with my husband and I did NOT have a hard time deciding if I should rent a movie or catch up on Desperate Housewives....in the end I did NOT do both.

Yesterday when Mallory and I laid down to take a nap at 12:30 we did NOT sleep until 4:00. Oops. I imagine that if we had taken a 3.5 hour nap that would have resulted in Mallory being awake and ready to party like a rock star until 3AM this morning. In my bed. If that had happened then I would be one super cranky tired mommy this morning who was also NOT late to work because she had some motivational issues.

Happy Monday. I'm NOT about to fall asleep at my desk.

An Oldie But Goodie.....

I was remembering this craptastic night the other day for some reason and went digging through the archives of the kids site to find it. It never fails that whenever Joe goes out of town, my life is going to suck until he returns. never. fails. This is a first class example.....from June 26th, 2008

So last night ranked pretty high up on the "really crappy parenting nights" list. First off, last night was Joe's last night out of town for work. We saved up ALL the drama for this last night. Around 1130 I woke up and thought I heard our home alarm going off. Turns out it was the tornado sirens (I guess this IS better then home invasion). Pierce comes flying into my room literally shaking he is so scared. There is nothing going on outside so I'm not really sure at this point why the sirens are going off so I turn the TV on. Oh. THAT is why they are going off. The entire county is all sorts of shades of red, pink, purple on the radar. The excitement on the faces of my local weathermen (really? both of them are in?) lead me to believe things were about to get really crappy.

By now Mallory is also awake but so far no drama. I told Pierce I was going to run downstairs really quickly and get a flashlight on the off chance our power goes out and I will be right back. 30 seconds later with 2 kids stuck up my butt I get downstairs and can't find one. Call Joe, scream about lack of flashlights in frustrations (yes, everything IS his fault when he is out of town) find a flashlight, head back upstairs. By now the storms are starting to roll in and with it Mallory's panic attack. I know that I tend to be dramatic but I kid you not when I say she screamed, and shook, and got all sweaty for the next 3 hours non stop. It. Was. Awful. She would start to fall asleep (still moaning) and then those damn sirens would kick up again (yes, they kept going off thanks to the lightning, super) and she would start all over. Pierce told her at one point to be quiet because he was trying to watch the weather.

Joe called about an hour in "sorry honey, can't talk, cant hear you over screaming" We probably should have been in the basement but since our (chipper) weathermen said there was not *really* a tornado but more like the chance of one I decided to take my chances upstairs. You can mail my "mother of the year award" anytime.

3 hours later things settle down and we fall asleep (sort of, kids on top of me all sweaty, Mallory still shaking). I wake up at 7...coincidentally the same time I am due to be at work, call to say I will be late, and take 2 super cranky sleep deprived children to school. Upon leaving my house this morning a spider that had to have been missing from our local zoo ran across my garage floor scaring the crap out of both me and pierce…….he is hiding under my van (the spider, not pierce) and I'm wearing flip flops. Fun to watch me put kids in the car seat knowing that he was there. Waiting.

While leaving daycare I can hear Mallory screaming for me all way down the hall and out the door. Head right to Tim Horton's for coffee, call my mom only to hear that she "slept through it all" (thanks mom) and get to work where I sit now trying very hard to stay awake.

Joe comes home tonight and I will be going directly to bed

Ahhhh. That was a really really shitty night. I'm hoping that Mallory's fear of thunder storms is over now that spring is coming.

My Parenting Skillllzzzzz

I know that it may be a hard concept to stomach but I truly am deserving of an award for Mother of the Year. At the very least a nomination.

Just a few of the tools that I use in raising my children…..

Negotiation -Children cannot truly develop without learning the art of negotiation. It is important in their adult life so they may as well learn it at an early age. Who’s to say that M&Ms for crapping the potty cannot someday translate to $$ for the crap you will produce in your career?

Learning to respect authority: For instance the following conversation with Pierce
"Why do you always get to tell me what to do"
"Because I'm the boss"
"Who do I get to be the boss of?"
"sorry bud, you don't get to be the boss of anyone"
"Can I be the boss of Mallory?"
"No" "Can I be the boss of the dogs?"
"No bud, Scarlet bites remember....she is the boss"
"Well, I cannot wait until I grow up so I can be the boss of myself"

The Art of persuasion—Mallory is WAY better at this then her brother—one day as we were on the couch with her up my ass snuggling….
"I want my milk"

"It's right there, go get it"

"I want Pierce to get it" (I wan Piewce did it)

"Pierce is not going to go get it Mallory, it is RIGHT there, get it yourself"

"I want Pierce to get it"

"No"

And then…..Pierce all exasperated gets up, sighs very loudly walks over to get the milk, shoves it in her direction and says "HERE Mallory" and sits back down. To which Mallory says..."thank you Pierce" (tank you Piewce")

Family togetherness.-There is more bed hopping in my house then in a brothel. Most nights Mallory is in bed with us by midnight because quite frankly….I'm a bitch if I don’t get enough sleep and I don’t have the energy to fight with her in the middle of the night. However, because I am getting to the point where I am over this…..her new big girl bed MIGHT have to come with straps

These are just a few things that I practice daily with my children. After all, they ARE the future of our world.

PS----if you need a kozy pal cart cover.....and trust me you DO then click HERE. She is having a 50% off sale just today!!!! Im getting ready to order one for a gift today with my gift certificate I won last month! Makes a great gift!! I never went anywhere with mine without getting asked about it.

I am an open book

Thanks for playing Q&A with me. I got some good questions out of you! So, without further ado.....it's time to play What do you want to know about Cammie.......

Kami wants to know---"How did you choose the names of your children?" Actually, we had BOTH of our children picked out before they were even conceived. I had Pierce's name in the back of my mind before I even met Joe. It is my mother's maiden name. Had he been a girl we were going with Anna after Joe's grandmother. Joe picked out Mallory's name from guess where......"what will we do baby....without us......sha na na na na" Had she been a boy her name would have been Jack.

JananaBee asks....."Are you going to have any more children?" Well Janna let me put it to you this way.....Joe is no longer capable of knocking me up. I on the other hand can have another baby anytime I want to also have a divorce.

Crazy girl BeeAndRose had a few questions for me...."how much wine does it take to get you seriously wasted these days" Well Ms BeeAndRose my answer might surprise you.....I actually can cap a nice buzz on 2 glasses of wine. Based on my antics of my Jersey Train Wreck weekend to get seriously wasted I need 2 xanax and a full bottle of wine. She also wanted to know "The weirdest thing you have ever done while drinking wine?" I stole a very large plant from BW3 once in college (this is a wings type eating place) Very large. Walked right out the door with it. "Are you a cheap wino or do you lean toward pricier wines????" For the most part I am an equal opportunity wine drinker. I stay away from the likes of Boone's Farm though. "red, white...which do you prefer...box or bottle?????" Ahhh the good old days of boxed wine....or as I liked to call it.....a party in a box. I'm mostly a red drinker but I also like white.

TheBookKitten asks...."...how would you react when you finally got some sleep in your house?" Since she is new to my blog I wont tell her that me getting some sleep would misalign the cosmos and thus make the world disappear like the island on Lost. Kitten....truth be told, I would probably implode.

Yaya wants to know What my favorite color is and how I met my husband. Well yaya....I can't tell you my favorite color.....that is WAY to personal. However I will tell you about meeting Joe....I had just gotten dumped by some asshole when my aunt decided to start nagging me to meet this guy she worked with. I kept telling her I did not need my AUNT to hook me up with a boy thankyouverymuch. Finally....to shut her up humor her I decided to meet her out with a bunch of other people including Joe. We were engaged 7 months later. Um, thanks Aunt Janice.

Jineen asks...."When did I get my Uggs and what kind do I have" Joe got them for me last Dec for my bday---I have the kind that give your feet orgasms when you put them on. I mean...I have THESE ones

She also wanted to know "Where is the craziest place I have ever done the deed" That would be the library that I worked at in college. oh the irony of the book loving girl getting busy in the library....WAIT.......this story is not true at all. I saved myself for marriage. uh huh. sure did. "Would you like to write a book? What kind?" I would like to. I would have NO idea how to do it. Believe it or not I would like to write a children's book. And why oh WHY could I have not been the person who thought up Brown Bear Brown Bear....that book is SO not rocket science. Jineen also asks if I enjoy celebrating the holidays and if they include wine...... Yes, I LOVE Christmas, Thanksgiving, ect. I love when my entire family gets together. And yeah, there is generally a bottle of wine in my purse somewhere.....

Bee and Rose is back.....this time with "Why did you choose your wedding date? Was it based on time of year? Time off work?" We knew we wanted to get married in the fall sometime. I picked Oct because it usually has the best fall weather.

TheWifeORiley throws in...."Describe the worst trip you have been on" Thankfully I have always had great vacations (knocking on wood here) However....back in 2000 I had to go to my companies corporate office for a week of training. This normally would not have been a bad thing...I had been the year before and had a decent time. This week however....sucked. I wound up with some random roommate from another branch....so I spent a week in a hotel room with someone I had never met (and it was not even scandalous....) PLUS we had a tornado one night....so we were ushered sans bra and makeup in the middle of the night with all of these co-workers into the hotel hallways. Good times that trip.

Francesca at 3BayBChicks wants to know how my parents came up with my name. There is no excitement behind this at all. My dad saw it in a book he was reading. My middle name is after my grandmother.

In keeping with the "Year of the Hula" Hula wants to know what I have done for ME lately. Well, I took a couple of girly trips in the last 6 months, plus some scrap booking here locally. Mostly I just try and get a little book time in every day

Alexis wants to know my most embarrassing moment. Well I actually have TWO. One that had the potential to really suck, and one that DID really suck. Before I started working where I do full time I spent 3 summers as an intern. My very first summer was back when we still had to wear panty hose.....one afternoon I came out of the bathroom with my hose stuck in the back of my dress. HAWT. Thankfully the ONLY person who saw me and thus came to my rescue (Jodi I know you read...do you remember this?) was my friend Jodi who YEARS later would become my roommate. Bless you Jodi. God forbid anyone random see my panties. Without having bought me a drink first. Fast forward a few years....I am late for class in one of the biggest lecture halls on campus. This classroom has steps that are far apart...you know....one step, walk a few feet, another step. Got the visual? Good. Now picture me falling down one of the steps. In the middle of the lecture. The professor actually had to control himself so that he did not laugh at me. Awesome.

Heather asks me...."How long have you been scrap booking? Who is your favorite scrapbooker (famous one, that is)? Have you ever gone on a scrappin' retreat? If yes, where?" I actually started scrap booking before I knew what it was. I'm talking slap some construction paper down in an album with sticky pages and cut some pictures out to add. I did not get serious about it until about 2001. I don't really know that many famous scrappers so I will have to go with YOU.....you Heather are my favorite famous scrapbooker....and you are famous because of the 86 followers that read my blog who know that you made me a kick ass book for my girls weekend. I have been on a few retreats.....here in Ohio in Amish country with some friends...we stayed in a beautiful hotel with about 4 wineries nearby....thus my fondness for "scrapdrinking"

And finally.....a new blog friend Tooj wants to know the funniest conversation that I have had with Pierce. Those of you who know me here in the real world know that this is an every day occurrence with him. One of my all time favorites though had to be regarding an old hat of his. Please take note of the following:

I have no clue what he is doing in this picture but it is the best example of him in his Gap hat. Please note that it is about a second away from popping right off his head. He is probably late 3 early 4 in this picture and he wore this hat EVERYWHERE for a good 2 years. One day I was trying to explain to him that it no longer fit. The conversation went something like this.

"Hey bud, come here...I want to show you something. points to the size tag inside his hat that says 18-24 months See this tag right here? This tag says that this hat fits you if you are TWO years old. You are not two years old are you??"

Pierce points to the OTHER tag inside his hat....the one I never cut out that says "please remove before wearing...I think it was the security tag "See this tag right here mommy? This tag says it fits" He then promptly put his hat on and walked away from me.

WHEW. That took a loooooong time. If you decide to play this on your blog, please let me know so I can come ask you some questions too!!

Respect Sleep

I have a secret to share. Okay, maybe not so much a secret as a confession. My favorite thing to do....it's not read, or scrapbook....it's not drinking wine or ever better scrapdrinking (do I need to define that?). No, none of these are my favorite pass time, although those are up there on the things I like list. My favorite hobby is sleeping. Yep. Sleeping. Do you see the irony in this as I do live in the House of No Sleep? Years ago....BK (before kids) I used to sleep like I was going for the gold medal in the sleeping Olympics. BK I used to sleep till at least 10-12 on days that I did not have to work. On weekdays I would come home and catch a quick cat nap on the couch. When I lived alone in my post college-pre Joe apartment I actually had a navy blue blanket nailed to my window so that I could sleep into the afternoon without knowing it was light outside. When Joe and I moved in together it would drive me crazy that for no reason whatsoever other then to annoy the hell out of me he would be up and ready to take on the word at 7AM on the weekends. Bugging me to go run errands with him. Pointing out to me how much we could get done before noon. AK (duh) I have even more respect for sleep then I did BK. To this day my son does not have much use for sleep. He did not sleep through the night until he was 18 months old. 18 long months of getting up with him in the middle of the night. For some reason the "ready to take on the world at 7am" man I married disappeared. He started to barter with me for Sleep in Days instead of being up and making coffee at 7am. I tried to tell him that it was WAY to late to start to respect sleep this late in the game....such a change in sleeping habits was just unacceptable to me. 2.5 years later along came another small person who did not respect sleep. She STILL does not sleep through the night. The only difference is her parents are so lazy that instead of fighting the battle (which she would indeed win) we just throw her in bed with us. Long gone are the days where sleeping in meant 10am....now sleeping in is 8am and we trade off days on the weekend. These past 3 days for some reason my kids slept till 730 and Joe and I thought we had died and gone to heaven. People let me tell you it is HARD to entertain your kids all day when all days starts most days at 5am. A friend asked me once if I was really playing with play-dough at 8am on a Sunday and I was like hell yes I am, we have already watched all the kid shows on the DVR. I have however learned of a new way to respect sleep. The nap. No no, not the power nap of my PK days...the loooooong naps I take on weekends with Mallory. Hey, they tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps....they did not specify how old that baby has to be. I nap with my daughter almost every weekend. I don't screw around with these naps either. I'm not talking about the half assed naps that Joe (non sleep respecter) takes on the couch with the TV on. I'm talking full on napping...jammies, in the bed, lots of pillow and covers. I think the only one in the house who respects sleep as much (if not more) then I do is Scarlet. Not because she is 300 years old...she has always been this way. Scarlet has been known to wait at the edge of the hall and stare at you around bedtime....as in "hey assholes, it's time...let's go" Scarlet gets so flipping excited for weekend naps with Mallory that she makes it up the stairs before we do. Scarlet has been known to take a snap at Joe in the mornings when he tries to get her to let her out to go potty. And as I told you here sleeping with Scarlet is at your own risk because you may lose a toe if you should dare touch her at the foot of the bed while she is sleeping....that is IF she is at the foot of the bed and not sharing your pillow.

Someday I will sleep in again. Maybe not till noon like I did PK but there will come a day in my future when the kids can make their own cereal and work the TV themselves. Until then....I will just have to settle for trading Sleep in Days of 8am with Joe and drinking a LOT of coffee.

Moments like this......

This morning after Joe had already left for work and Pierce was still in his room I was still in bed awake but not quite ready to get motivated. Mallory was still asleep (in our bed which is the norm from about midnight on) and I was just laying there watching her. She must have known I was staring at her because she opened those big blue eyes and smiled at me....scooched herself over closer, put her little hand on my face and said:

"I lub you mommy"

And that kids is the tale of how I became a puddle of mommy mush at dark o clock. Moments like this are what makes Life in the House of No Sleep totally and completely worth it.

Not Me Monday

I'm getting a good giggle at all of the people playing MckMama's Not Me Monday. So you know, being the follower I am....I'm jumping on board. Here are some things I did NOT do this past week...

I did NOT finish the Twilight Series for the 2nd time...and I am NOT thinking about starting it again. You know, because I am NOT obsessed with Edward Cullen

I did NOT eat like crap this past week only because I know there is no sense dieting until the first of the year.

I did NOT get into a big fight with my sister at my mom's holiday party. That would be immature

I did NOT turn 33. That is WAY old...I also did NOT remind my husband that when we met he was only 31 and I thought that was SUPER old.

I did NOT have a hangover the day after my birthday because I did NOT do jello shots and drink a bottle of wine by myself at my mom's party

I did not take a nap with my daughter that day and when she woke up then take one with my son.

I also did NOT have a big ass margarita at dinner that night with Joe and friends Sunday night since I was hungover

I did NOT buy myself a 2009 Twilight calender to hang in my cubicle at work...again with the immaturity.

I did NOT lie to my 5 year old that the play area at COSI was closed after spending 2 hours in the Sesame Street area because I was ready to go.

I think that about covers the main things that I did NOT do this week. Wonder what I wont do this week?

cheers

I was thinking about skipping today but then the anal girl in me that has not missed a day yet since I started this kicked in. I really have nothing exciting to add to the blog world as I am packing up for the night to head out to my mom's (the one who is NOT a garden tool) for some drinking festivities. She is having a girly party tonight and guess what...I'm NOT coming home...which means a sleep in day tomorrow...WAHOOOO.

Alarm sounds....

Wait, who am I kidding. We never wake up to an alarm anymore....in fact I don't even remember waking up to an alarm. Okay....let me start over.

3:00 am- "Mommmmyyyyyyyyyy" get Mallory, bring her in bed with us.
4:00- Evil dog downstairs starts barking. Joe gets up to let him out
5:00- Pierce rolls in. Climbs into bed with us, disturbs dog in bed who growls and attempts to bite toes
5:30-Joe gets up. One or both children are usually awake...have learned that TIVO shows can now be watched in our room-demand Transformers, Imagination Movers Mickey Mouse be put on TV (Mallory wins...no shock there)
5:45 "I'm ready to go downstairs" "It is not time to go downstairs yet, mommy still has to shower and get ready for work"
5:50 "Mallory let's go PLAY"
5:51 disturb dog in bed who growls and attempts to bite toes
6:00 drag ass out of bed. stumble blindly into shower
6-6:10 tell Pierce NOT to help his sister in and out of her crib, that she can get hurt. Finish shower, stumble back into bedroom
6:10-6:15- Put makeup sometimes with Mallory's help, sometimes not. Tell children NOT to sit so close to the edge of Pierce's bed (I remember thinking a loft bed with a slide was a GREAT idea)
6:20-6:30-get kids dress. Here Pierce remind me that he only likes shirts with "something on it" (a character of some sort) Have him remind me how to put his socks on properly
6:30 head downstairs. Hot mess at the bottom while evil dog downstairs tries to see if today is the day Scarlet will love him. Nope.
6:30-6:45- While putting Mallory's hair up "I want a pop tart, no some cereal, no a donut" (they get a REAL breakfast at school" "I want my milk" I want juice mommy...the juice goes in first, THEN the water"
6:45-feed Scarlet...while placing her food on the floor, catch Stitch when he comes running to eat it, (HAHAHA) put him in cage
6:45-6:50 kids in car "I want my pop tart/cereal/donut" I want my milk/juice" "can you put Wall-E on?"
6:50 start car. "Mommy, put Wall-E on, can you turn it up?"
6:50-7:10 Answer the same questions that I answered yesterday. Including but not limited to
"Why is Wall-E a robot?
"Why does Eve like that plant?"
"Where is that airplane going"
"Why do you have to show that guy your card to get to my school?"
7:15 Drop kids off. Head to work.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat

A letter to my children

My dearest children,

I know that you find life to be SO exciting that you just cant wait to begin another day. Mommy finds that so exhausting wonderful. I do however have a demand request of you.....

Pierce---mommy's sweet boy. I have known you now for 5 years. Trust me when I say that I KNOW you want a cracktart poptart, I KNOW you want dinosaur oatmeal, and I KNOW you want some juice and that the juice goes in first and THEN the water. I also know that you will want your THIRD breakfast sometime before 9am. That is what happens when you get up at dark o clock....you need 3 breakfasts. Speaking of time Pierce....last night when mommy told you not to come into my room until your clock said 6 on it. I meant 6:00, not 5:06. I understand that I may need to make that a little more clear tonight.

Mallory--- my baby. Seeing as you spend a majority of your night hogging my bed sleeping with daddy and I, Im not really sure why you feel the need to get up at dark o clock to spend even more time with us. Since you are up though....yes I will get you some milk and I will try my best to get it in the amount of time that you feel is acceptable. I will also do my very best to get Mickey Mouse on the TV as quickly as I can because as a child of the TIVO generation you know that you can demand that your BFF be on TV anytime you want it.

One more thing about being awake this early....I know I said we are going to see Santa today but guess what kids....Santa does NOT get up at dark o clock. So you are going to have to try this neat thing called PATIENCE. During this time of patience mommy is going to have some tea, and a shower. The BEST part of today is....after seeing Santa we get to go right to a birthday party which means any chance of mommy getting to score a nap today are pretty much shot to hell. You guys enjoy that nap in the car though...I will try not to fall asleep at the wheel.

Remember....Mommy loves you. Let's do this again tomorrow.