A letter to my brother.....by Mallory age 2.5..dictated by Mommy

Dear Pierce,

I have some things that I would like to talk to you about.

First off, we need to get something straight here. I.....am.....the.....BABY. What I am realizing that means is that 9 times out of 10, I'm gonna get my way. Mommy says that is not a good thing but really....I can tell most times she is way to tired to fight with me. Is she making a monster out of me? Probably. In fact.....She keeps saying that a long time ago there was ANOTHER baby that got her way a lot. We call her Aunt Lee Lee. Yeah, that did not work out so well for our Maw Maw.

So, now that you know that I am the boss let's lay some ground rules. Your toys? You will share them with me. And by share I mean give them to me when I ask for them. Even if my way of asking is screaming in your face to GIVEITTOME. Trust me....in the end it will be easier to just give them to me rather then listen to me scream. I am loud.

Also.....your room....you know the one with the cool bed that has a slide.....let's talk about this. I sleep in what may as well be called a cage....yeah I know, they call it a crib but really it is just a mini jail cell. So, since you have the cool bed with the slide I am going to come in your room when I want to so that I can play on it.

Speaking of sleeping arrangements. I'm not sure you even know this (and I'm not sure why I'm telling you) but most of the night I sleep with mommy and daddy. Yeah, I start out in that mini jail cell but usually around midnight when you are fast asleep I make up and flip the heck out so mommy will come get me. Since she is too tired to listen to me scream all night I get to sleep with them. I kind of think it is funny that you have not caught on to this despite the fact that I am in their bed every morning when you come in.

My name is MALLORY. It has 3 syllables. It is not MAAALLLLOOOORRRYYYYYYYYYYYY which is what you are usually screaming at me. You can also call me princess.

When I want to play with you....you will play with me. Immediately. If you don't we are right back to that screaming.

I know that I have what is probably an unhealthy obsession with Mickey Mouse. He is my BFF. This means that we WILL watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse when I want to. None of this Transformers crap. I know we have seen these episodes over and over but I don't care.

You are my big brother and I love you very very much. Keep these things in mind and we will get a long just fine.

edited by mommy...I would like you all to know that I in no way support the rotten behavior of this child.....I do my best to try and raise her NOT to be a brat. Baby steps. Stay tuned later this week when Pierce writes his response to his sister