not me monday...the drunken jersey weekend edition

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This is the drunken trainwreck in Jersey weekend version of NOT ME MONDAY. If you read my blog you will know that Thursday night I flew out to spend a weekend with some of my bestest friends. The following is what did not transpire....

I did not arrive in new jersey for my girls weekend already drunk. No way would I need to take 2 xanax and drink 3 glasses of wine to take a one hour plane ride.

I did not continue to drink the night away.....if i had it would only have been because I don't get away without my kids all that often and when I do.....I tend to let loose.

In fact I did not get asked by one of my friends why I am not "this much fun at home". Ummm, no kids. That's why

I also did not steal my wine glass from the bar. No way do I tend to turn into a klepto when I have been drinking.

I did not tell my lovely hostess on Friday morning that I needed to go to cvs and get a new toothbrush because I forgot mine. I was not so drunk that I would have forgotten that I brushed my teeth Friday night in her bathroom and left my toothbrush in there. What am I? A lush?
Friday night did not lead to more drinking. when I go away for girls weekend with my mommy board friends we sit around and sing kum ba ya......not behave like drunken skanks.

When my lovely hostess had a bit too much to drink and ran to the bathroom to puke....I did not grab my camera and capture the moment on film while laughing my ass off at her. I'm a way better friend than that....I'm the kind that holds hair....not takes pictures

Sat night the train wreck of 25 girls did not head into Philly....on a party bus. I did not shake my butt on the party bus and sing Baby Got Back at the top of my lungs. I am a mother....I do not behave like a drunken sorority girl....not me.
There was not a girl in our group who caused a huge rumble at the bar....we did not leave fearing for our lives.....we did not take pictures of said rumble.......we did not continue to watch the rumble carry on in the streets as the bouncers threw the drunk assholes out of the bar......
I did not have my very first ever authentic Philly cheese steak......with cheese wiz.....
Speaking of wizzing......I did not have to hear how 2 of my friends peed in an ally in the snow since they could not find a bathroom.
Since I behaved all night I did not head straight to my room and pass out 5 seconds after getting dropped back off from our night.

I did not wake up Sunday morning and want to take a bottle of Aleve.....I'm not so old that I can't shake my butt at a bar and not hurt like crazy the next day.

I did not hear Mama-Loco explain how she got a great shot of me because she was 'going down on me' if she had said this it would have been because she was standing at the top of the stairs taking a picture....not because we love each other like that.....no thanks...if this HAD happened we both would have laughed our butt's off when she realized what she had said. Tool.
Speaking of Mama-Loco.....I did not threaten her life if I had to hear one more flipping time how pretty the snow is.....I did not tell her that i was going to put her face right in it if she did not shut up y'all
On Sunday about 30 minutes before we needed to leave for the airport Ryann did NOT lock us out of her house. With our bags inside. Since this did NOT happen there was no cause for panic about the lack of a spare key anywhere. But if it would happen then I would have saved the day....how you ask? By walking about 3 houses up and cutting two yard behind.....hearing the sounds of someone trimming a tree usually means there is a ladder nearby. If this HAD happened you might have heard me calling to this guy like a fool, explaining the situation and asking him if he would not mind bringing his ladder around to assist us. If it HAD happened it would have resulted in us getting in ninja style and it might have looked something like this...

(typing this all out and looking at the pics right now does NOT make me want to call her and laugh at her.......again.)

I did NOT start to tear up as we all left for the airport one by one. I do not love these girls sooo much that it kills me not to know when we will see each other again......

A little explanation......these girls and I "met" about 8 years ago planning our weddings and using the chat boards on The Knot.Com. Since then it has evolved into a separate message board that we have been using for over 5 years. Most of us have met in real life.....A handful of us feel like sisters that were separated at birth.....We try to get together at least once a year but the more we do that the more we realize that we cannot live without each other for that long. These are the kids of friends you don't know how you made it this far without. I love you girls SO much and I cannot wait to see you again! Miss you, Love you.....(Cut you)