Not Me Monday

Here we go again!! It is MONDAY. Time to fess up to all of the things you did NOT do last week. Head on over to MckMama's to link up and see what everyone else has NOT been doing!

I did NOT realize that I need to remember to NOT keep track of all of this stuff during the week so that when Monday rolls around I do NOT find myself sitting here trying to remember all that did NOT transpire in the previous week.

I did NOT purposely park close to the Baby Mama goose on purpose more than once last week. I did NOT tell myself that I am better than that goose and I will park where I want....only people who are slightly unstable would carry such a personal vendetta against a GOOSE. NOT ME.

Thursday night did NOT have Joe and I traveling to the fine Wright Patterson Air force base so that Joe could NOT accept award #1 for that awesome national award he did NOT win earlier this year. I do NOT think of this first award as him accepting the "Miss Ohio" version and later when we go to DC next month he will NOT be accepting the Miss Universe National award.

Last Friday did NOT make me want to cry because no possible way did my BABY turn 3. We are NOT going to talk about it because I'm NOT sad that my baby is 3......

This past weekend was NOT drill weekend for Joe.....I do NOT hate drill weekend and cringe every month when it comes around. This past weekend Joe did NOT have guys night after Saturday's drill and just stay out at the base....which had me NOT enjoying some alone time Sat. night drinking wine and playing wii after the kids were in bed. I did NOT enjoy that alone time at all......

Saturday afternoon before said alone time I did NOT pack the kids out and head to a friends house to have a play date. Erin and I did NOT get annoyed every time we had to get off of our lawn chair to push a kid on the swing because we were NOT AT ALL hoping they would entertain each other and let us be for a bit. I did NOT take some great shots of the kids playing

Rach Rachel

Lil Lily

and Mallory.....I do NOT get irritated to never get any good pics of Pierce......

Erin and I did NOT decide to feed our kids a SUPER nutritious dinner at Wendy's so we packed them up and then proceeded to NOT get caught in a monsoon running from our cars inside.

I did NOT spend a part of the weekend bitter and cranky that I was not on the NKOTB cruise with BFF Liz....we did NOT talk about the twitter pics a few times over the weekend and how we hate all those girls that were there.

Happy Monday!!

(PS---Im NOT AT ALL getting pissed to keep coming in to edit and trying to fix my paragraphs so that they do not smoosh together....It is NOT making me crazy thinking that I might NOT have to edit HTML....which I do NOT hate doing....Im NOT thinking that you can just deal with smooshed paragraphs)

Not Me Monday

Monday again already??? I swear the weekends just keep getting shorter! You know the drill.....Not Me Monday was created by MckMama to tell the world about all of the things that you did NOT do over the past week. I find it to be rather therapeutic!!

This past week.....hmmmmm.......

I did NOT spend a lot of last week working on a project that I will talk about later this week. I was NOT AT ALL thrilled with the outcome and will NOT expect much attention from you all in regards to said project. What do you all think I am? An attention whore? Not Me.

I did NOT read Eclipse for the 3rd time. In fact I'm not even going to bother mentioning this since all of you already know that I do NOT have an infatuation with the Twilight series. That said, I do NOT plan on reading Breaking Dawn (for the 3rd time) this week as well.

I did NOT decide to start training for a 5K that I may or may not even run in. I was NOT AT ALL proud of myself for not only running on the treadmill, but living to tell about it. I am NOT AT ALL out of shape and I am NOT determined to do this and lose some weight in the process.

Friday I was NOT excited to put my kids to bed so that I could enjoy my Tivo'd Today Show with the New Kids on the Block....I did NOT stop and rewind a few parts more than once while wiping the drool from my chin.

At the same time I was NOT enjoying my New Kids porn Joe was NOT in the kitchen BAKING his daughter's birthday cake. When he told me that the New Kids were gay I did NOT point out to him that he was the one working on a 3 layer pink princess cake.



Saturday.......I did NOT celebrate my daughter's 3rd birthday (more on this on her actual bday which is this Friday) We did NOT have a wonderful day at the park with friends and family.

BFF Liz did NOT give me the biggest smile ever when revealing to me her gift for my daughter which was a t-shirt that read "The Future Griffin McIntyre" who is NOT the son of my beloved Joey McIntyre aka hottest New Kid ever.

I did NOT find that ironic seeing as just 3 weeks ago I did NOT get my friend's daughter a shirt that read "Lil Miss Cullen" for her birthday

I did NOT have a wonderful mother's day!! I did not come downstairs to be greeted with smiley kids wishing me a happy Mother's day! I also did NOT love finding a case of wine, Archivers gift card and 90210 Season 4 waiting for me! Yeah!!!

Hope all of you mommy's did NOT have a wonderful Mother's day as well!

Not Me Monday

Happy Monday!! All over the bloggy world people are happily posting their NOT ME MONDAY's to say how happy their are that STELLAN is HOME with his family!! Finally on the right combo of meds to keep his little heart working until he is old enough for another surgery! Head over to MckMama's blog if you are one of the last 5 people on earth who don't know who Stellan and MckMama are.

Sooooo, last week was kind of boring actually.....not a lot of things to NOT tell you about. hmmmm.

I did NOT deal with Mallory's temper tantrums at least 5 times last week. Each time I did NOT have to close windows in fear that the neighbors would hear and call children's services. I do NOT play that conversation in my head over and over....."no Ms Social Work Person, I have NOT been beating my daughter.....trust me, I have realllllllly wanted to but this performance is 100% ass beating free"

I did NOT go to the gym 3 times last week.....this did NOT make me happy because I am NOT serious about losing weight......I do NOT have a little over a month to drop some lbs before our trip to DC

Speaking of DC.....The fam did NOT head out to the airforce base in Dayton so Joe could get fit for a "mess dress" uniform which apparently is the military's version of a tux--which he will NOT be wearing when he accepts the awesome award that he won.
Why did the entire fam go on a trip to buy a uniform? Because I do NOT get excited to shop at the class 6 liquor store with cheap wine and no tax. Not one bit.
And finally.....to start my new week off on the right foot.....I did NOT snap THIS picture on my way in this morning....


I did NOT at all fear that they would dive bomb me on my way into the office.

Not Me Monday

Good morning! I hope that all had a fabulous Easter weekend! We were fairly busy and since I forgot to pay attention to what I did NOT do all last week this is likely to be uneventful. Please remember to keep MckMama and Stellan in your prayers, she is still with him in the hospital.

Here are some Easter NOT ME's

Sat night I did NOT threaten Mallory by telling her if she did not go to sleep that the Easter bunny would not come. Mallory has a tendancy to call for me at LEAST 3 times each night after I put her to bed. I would never threaten my baby in that way when she really just wants more snuggle time. NOT ME.

With thoughts of Easter eggs in her head Mallory did NOT go right to sleep without making me come up there 3 times.

I did NOT then think what other way that I could use such a ploy to get her to go to bed.

After the kids were all snug in there beds Joe and I did NOT go through the candy from that day's hunt and put some of it in their baskets.

Easter morning we were NOT woken up by Pierce flying into our bedroom freaking out because the power had just gone out. Surely this would NOT happen on yet ANOTHER holiday. We did NOT have to pack up all of our stuff for the day and head to my mom's early to shower there.

I did NOT have 2 of the cutest kids EVER dressed up looking super innocent.

In her beautiful dress, tights and her hair all pretty Mallory did NOT spend most of the day jumping on a trampoline with the boys.

My kids did NOT go flipping mad crazy over the egg hunt and get 35 more eggs filled with candy. Each. Joe and I will NOT be hiding most of it to avoid cavities.

Happy Monday!!

PS....I am NOT ready to kill blogger because I cant get my paragraphs to format. STOOOOPID blogger.....

Not Me Monday---for Stellan

I know a lot of you are skipping Not Me Monday since Stellan is so sick, but I wanted to still do it since so many of us are still thinking about him and praying for him. So, since this IS MckMama's blog carnival.....instead of posting her Not Me Monday button, I'm going to throw up THIS beautiful picture and remind everyone (as if you needed that) to pray for Stellan and the entire MckFamily

I did NOT spend a lot of time this weekend refreshing Twitter and my reader in hopes to see some good news about Stellan.

I did NOT want to cry for a baby I have never met each time MckMama's heart broke a little more with each status she put out there.

I did NOT go through Stellan's name gallery on MckMama's blog and show Joe all of the cool places where Stellan's name has been.

I did NOT smile thinking about all of the people this little baby has touched all before he was even a year old.

Happy Monday......hopefully next Monday we will all NOT be posting about how thrilled we are that Stellan is on the mend......

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Since I forgot to write everything down this past week I am NOT going to be pulling stuff out of thin air.

The most important thing that did NOT happen this past week......I did NOT spend all day Thursday in a foul mood because BFF NYKelly was in here in Ohio for a meeting and would be unable to get together due to time constraints. Then when she called with about one hour of free time I did NOT fly out of work like the building was on fire to go meet her at the Airport to have a quick drink with her compliments of her (hot) boss. If that had happened it would have been the highlight of my week because I heart her big time.

Friday night was NOT spent at a Mexican restaurant with my work BFFs consuming margaritas and chips and salsa. We did NOT have conversations of an R rated nature in a family restaurant...I wont name names but there was NOT homework of a dirty nature assigned which apparently was rated A+ the next day.

We also did NOT buy a pop up camper this weekend. If we had, I know that this may come to a surprise to some of you because what kind of high maintenance girl goes camping? I am NOT super excited about this.....my kids are NOT going to love it at all.....If we HAD bought a pop up camper it would be because this high maintenance girl actually LOVES to camp. As long as it is not in a tent.

I was NOT super excited to ship Joe off to play poker one night this weekend. I love spending every waking breathing moment with my husband and I did NOT have a hard time deciding if I should rent a movie or catch up on Desperate Housewives....in the end I did NOT do both.

Yesterday when Mallory and I laid down to take a nap at 12:30 we did NOT sleep until 4:00. Oops. I imagine that if we had taken a 3.5 hour nap that would have resulted in Mallory being awake and ready to party like a rock star until 3AM this morning. In my bed. If that had happened then I would be one super cranky tired mommy this morning who was also NOT late to work because she had some motivational issues.

Happy Monday. I'm NOT about to fall asleep at my desk.

not me monday...the drunken jersey weekend edition

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This is the drunken trainwreck in Jersey weekend version of NOT ME MONDAY. If you read my blog you will know that Thursday night I flew out to spend a weekend with some of my bestest friends. The following is what did not transpire....

I did not arrive in new jersey for my girls weekend already drunk. No way would I need to take 2 xanax and drink 3 glasses of wine to take a one hour plane ride.

I did not continue to drink the night away.....if i had it would only have been because I don't get away without my kids all that often and when I do.....I tend to let loose.

In fact I did not get asked by one of my friends why I am not "this much fun at home". Ummm, no kids. That's why

I also did not steal my wine glass from the bar. No way do I tend to turn into a klepto when I have been drinking.

I did not tell my lovely hostess on Friday morning that I needed to go to cvs and get a new toothbrush because I forgot mine. I was not so drunk that I would have forgotten that I brushed my teeth Friday night in her bathroom and left my toothbrush in there. What am I? A lush?
Friday night did not lead to more drinking. when I go away for girls weekend with my mommy board friends we sit around and sing kum ba ya......not behave like drunken skanks.

When my lovely hostess had a bit too much to drink and ran to the bathroom to puke....I did not grab my camera and capture the moment on film while laughing my ass off at her. I'm a way better friend than that....I'm the kind that holds hair....not takes pictures

Sat night the train wreck of 25 girls did not head into Philly....on a party bus. I did not shake my butt on the party bus and sing Baby Got Back at the top of my lungs. I am a mother....I do not behave like a drunken sorority girl....not me.
There was not a girl in our group who caused a huge rumble at the bar....we did not leave fearing for our lives.....we did not take pictures of said rumble.......we did not continue to watch the rumble carry on in the streets as the bouncers threw the drunk assholes out of the bar......
I did not have my very first ever authentic Philly cheese steak......with cheese wiz.....
Speaking of wizzing......I did not have to hear how 2 of my friends peed in an ally in the snow since they could not find a bathroom.
Since I behaved all night I did not head straight to my room and pass out 5 seconds after getting dropped back off from our night.

I did not wake up Sunday morning and want to take a bottle of Aleve.....I'm not so old that I can't shake my butt at a bar and not hurt like crazy the next day.

I did not hear Mama-Loco explain how she got a great shot of me because she was 'going down on me' if she had said this it would have been because she was standing at the top of the stairs taking a picture....not because we love each other like that.....no thanks...if this HAD happened we both would have laughed our butt's off when she realized what she had said. Tool.
Speaking of Mama-Loco.....I did not threaten her life if I had to hear one more flipping time how pretty the snow is.....I did not tell her that i was going to put her face right in it if she did not shut up y'all
On Sunday about 30 minutes before we needed to leave for the airport Ryann did NOT lock us out of her house. With our bags inside. Since this did NOT happen there was no cause for panic about the lack of a spare key anywhere. But if it would happen then I would have saved the day....how you ask? By walking about 3 houses up and cutting two yard behind.....hearing the sounds of someone trimming a tree usually means there is a ladder nearby. If this HAD happened you might have heard me calling to this guy like a fool, explaining the situation and asking him if he would not mind bringing his ladder around to assist us. If it HAD happened it would have resulted in us getting in ninja style and it might have looked something like this...

(typing this all out and looking at the pics right now does NOT make me want to call her and laugh at her.......again.)

I did NOT start to tear up as we all left for the airport one by one. I do not love these girls sooo much that it kills me not to know when we will see each other again......

A little explanation......these girls and I "met" about 8 years ago planning our weddings and using the chat boards on The Knot.Com. Since then it has evolved into a separate message board that we have been using for over 5 years. Most of us have met in real life.....A handful of us feel like sisters that were separated at birth.....We try to get together at least once a year but the more we do that the more we realize that we cannot live without each other for that long. These are the kids of friends you don't know how you made it this far without. I love you girls SO much and I cannot wait to see you again! Miss you, Love you.....(Cut you)

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

My husband was NOT out of town all last week....leaving me to rip my hair out lovingly care for our children alone.

I did NOT consume more wine than I normally would in his absence and damn near burn my retinas out playing Wii every night. The reason I did NOT do this is because in his absence the best use of my time clearly would have been to do something productive like clean or organize something. So no way would you have found me every night from about 8-11 playing Wii. Not me.

Speaking of the Wii. I did NOT have to reprimand my son for telling someone to "get out of my way jackass" while playing Mario Kart. If this HAD happened I would have to blame Joe because he is the one who would be prone to using such language in the car......NOT ME.

I did NOT fashion my own snuggie at work on Monday by cutting 2 holes in a cheap fleece blanket. I then did NOT proceed to do the same thing for my friend next to me. I did NOT then wear said "snuggie" for most of the day at work.

I did NOT leave for the night within one hour of my husband coming home from his work trip on Sat. What kind of mother would I be if I could not even spend an entire week alone with my children and not want to leave the house?

The reason I did NOT leave the house on Sat.....had nothing to do with a 2 year old's birthday party complete with Tumblebus fun......because if I had gone to Cleveland for the night....and NOT taken my kids to said birthday party that would just be wrong.

I did NOT go see Twilight again with the mommy of the above 2 year old while NOT on my night of escape.

I did NOT buy New Kids on the Block tickets with BFF Liz and BFF Jess thus realizing a dream of mine 20 years later.....

And finally.....to top off my week......I did NOT try and park my car in the living room upon my return from Cleveland last night. I did NOT destroy my husband's bumper and 2 trashcans in the process. Of course my husband was not at ALL pissed off at me and did NOT pretty much flip his shit when he opened the door of the house. If this HAD happened I would have a good excuse and I certainly would NOT have freaked out and say that I think I hit the gas pedal instead of the brake. I'm a WAY better driver then that which is indicated in the fact that this was NOT my 2nd issue in my husband's car.......

This week HAS to be better......right??

Not Me Monday...with a touch of TMI

It is time once again for NOT ME MONDAY hosted by the fabulous MckMama where we all proceed to tell the blog world about all of the things we did NOT do over the past week. You know, because we are way too cool or responsible to do.....or just better parents/spouses than that. This weeks NMM has a touch of TMI so pull up a chair and enjoy...

I did NOT resort to bribing my child with M&Ms to potty train her. In fact I think this practice is SO horrid that I also did NOT yell at Joe when he told her she could not have M&Ms at 6AM. If I would have yelled at Joe it would have gone something like this:

"Daddy, I get M&Ms now"

"No Mallory, you don't get M&Ms in the morning"

"YES SHE DOES...SHE GET'S THEM WHENEVER SHE GOES POTTY, I DON'T CARE WHAT TIME IT IS"

Yeah, that so did NOT happen.

Speaking of going to the bathroom....I also did NOT weigh myself last Monday....scowl and curse at the scale and then have a great idea......Soon after I did NOT weigh 3oz less.

I did NOT think it was the BEST DAY EVER when I found Mike Tyson's Punchout (you know from old school Nintendo days?) Online. I also did NOT spend the next few nights ignoring my husband so that I could kick King Hippo's ass.

I did NOT have to wipe my dog's butt after she has some issues going potty (what is with the potty theme this week?) If I did have to wipe my dog's butt it would have only been to avoid her doing the muffy drag on my carpet. Again.

Happy Monday all!!

Not Me Monday

Another Monday, another installment of NOT ME MONDAY hosted by MckMama

Here are a few things that I certainly did NOT do

I did NOT go to the gym one time last week, get all excited about working out, and then not go back for the rest of the week.

I did NOT leave my kids locked in the car on the side of the road to run into the house quickly. The reason I did NOT do this had nothing to do with the snow on the driveway and since I did NOT do this I also did NOT almost fall on my ass about 15 times. Nope, not me.

There is NO POSSIBLE WAY that I gave my child Motrin and sent her to school when she had a slight fever on Wed. Not me....that would be totally irresponsible and just wrong

I did NOT find out later that day that said child had strep. Mother of the Year once again.

I did NOT eat only a can of low fat soup on Thursday to save up my calories to drink Thursday night with my friends.

I did NOT tell Joe not to yell at the dog when she crapped in the house....it is 200 below zero out and she is shorter than the snow is hi......I also did NOT ask him if he would like to crap outside in this weather.

I did NOT hear the following sentence out of my son's mouth. "Mommy, I love you even though you have big thighs"

I did NOT start potty training boot camp with my daughter this weekend. Because if I had then I would have had to clean up my kitchen floor after she peed on it and told me she was "berry berry done going potty"

I did NOT realize that doing NOT ME MONDAY is WAY easier if you do it all week long in a draft post instead of trying to remember all this on Monday.

Not Me Monday

Monday once again which means it is time for another list of things that I did NOT do this past week...to find out more about Not Me Monday go visit MckMama who is the brains behind this madness.

I did NOT wake up one day last week in the middle of the night to the sound of a cat puking on my pillow. Right next to my head. I wish I could spell the sound that was coming out of him but think plunger in a toilet. Anyways, it does not matter because it did NOT happen.

I did NOT spend an entire day at work in boots one of which was black and the other brown...and proceed to NOT notice until way late in the afternoon. If this HAD happened my excuse would be that at least they were the exact same boot....just in different colors.

I did NOT spend some time Saturday morning making a potty chart for my daughter , let Pierce color it, dig out some cool stickers and hang it up next to the toilet. Then I did NOT want to sell said daughter to gypsies when she looked at me and told me she did not want to sit on the potty and walked away.

I did NOT post what I think may be the work of a literary genius this weekend just below this post....and I am NOT whoring it out to tell you that you must go read it if you missed it.....just scroll down my friends....scroll down.

Not Me Monday

Time again for your weekly installment of "Not Me Monday" brought to you by MckMama. If you don't know MckMama or her story about miracle baby Stellan then I suggest you head over and get to know her. So, this past week was actually kind of boring.....

Joe and I did NOT send our kids to daycare even though he was home on vacation all week. We do NOT believe that since we pay for it anyways they should just go.

I did NOT refuse to get weighed at the Dr office when I went in for bronchitis. I did NOT think to myself they don't need my weight to give me a z-pack.

I did NOT spend 2 days in bed sick. Mommy's don't get sick days....even when we call off of our daytime job.

I did NOT tell Joe that if Pierce did not start putting the toilet seat down I was going to go all "Mommy Dearest" on him.

I did NOT sleep through New Years Eve.

I did NOT nap while Joe took care of operation Big Girl Room

I also did NOT open the champagne that I did not drink on NYE and drink most of it last night. Just because

Busy week.........

Not Me Monday

Is it really Monday again already? Last week flew by so fast but I am sure there were lots of things that I did NOT do. hmmmm.

I did NOT wrap gifts at the last minute. That would have been stressful and unnecessary

I did NOT spend hours mumbling under my breath and cursing toy packaging. The joy in my children's faces when they beheld each new toy was enough to just make me smile with glee.

I did NOT ask Joe to put the tree away the day after Christmas telling him I was done with it. The kids love the tree, therefor I also did NOT tell him to put it away this week while they were at daycare

I did NOT drink 3 mimosas on Christmas day at the in laws before dinner even started. I love my in laws (you know I do Gina) but that many people in one place just makes me want to have a beverage. Or 3

I did NOT watch A Christmas Story for the first time EVER. You know, because everyone in the free world has seen that movie at least 100 times because it is a Christmas classic and it is on 24 straight hours and blah blah blah

I did NOT ask an employee at Lowe's if it was legal to murder my children right there in the paint department. Why would I do that when they were just being so GOOD and LOVING to each other. With their feet.

That is all for now. My brain is all muddled due to the fact that I did NOT forget to bring cold medicine to work, therefor I do NOT feel like crap and just want to put my head down and take a nap.

Not Me Monday

What a busy busy week of Not Me's I did NOT have. Whew.

I did NOT procrastinate on present wrapping....something I am also NOT doing so far this week

I did not flip my shit when I saw on Becky's blog that there is an Edward fleece blanket that looks like this

(I also did NOT just find another way to use that picture in my blog)

Upon seeing said blanket...I did NOT immediately picture myself wrapped up in it with no clothes on.

I did NOT want to choke my husband when he told me that he dropped and broke his cell phone that I just bought him. Because once upon a time I did NOT lose mine and steal his as a replacement.

I did NOT have to break up with a friend after she accidentally included me on an email about me.

I also did NOT get so mad about that incident that I had to bust out my emergency xanax

I did NOT mentally write this list while in a meeting on Friday

Happy Monday all!!

Not Me Monday

I'm getting a good giggle at all of the people playing MckMama's Not Me Monday. So you know, being the follower I am....I'm jumping on board. Here are some things I did NOT do this past week...

I did NOT finish the Twilight Series for the 2nd time...and I am NOT thinking about starting it again. You know, because I am NOT obsessed with Edward Cullen

I did NOT eat like crap this past week only because I know there is no sense dieting until the first of the year.

I did NOT get into a big fight with my sister at my mom's holiday party. That would be immature

I did NOT turn 33. That is WAY old...I also did NOT remind my husband that when we met he was only 31 and I thought that was SUPER old.

I did NOT have a hangover the day after my birthday because I did NOT do jello shots and drink a bottle of wine by myself at my mom's party

I did not take a nap with my daughter that day and when she woke up then take one with my son.

I also did NOT have a big ass margarita at dinner that night with Joe and friends Sunday night since I was hungover

I did NOT buy myself a 2009 Twilight calender to hang in my cubicle at work...again with the immaturity.

I did NOT lie to my 5 year old that the play area at COSI was closed after spending 2 hours in the Sesame Street area because I was ready to go.

I think that about covers the main things that I did NOT do this week. Wonder what I wont do this week?