This is going to be a problem for me.

Pickles are the New Goose

So I was assaulted by a jar of pickles yesterday. No, really. I'm still not sure how it happened but as I was leaned all the way down getting something out of the crisper drawer for the kids

I all of the sudden saw little stars and birds floating around. That shit is really true! After the fog cleared and I looked down I realized that I had just been nailed in the back of my head by a 32 oz jar of pickles It had fallen directly on my head from the top shelf. About 3 feet. Exhibit A showing the size of the jar in comparison with a bottle of vicodin

Due to my insane bawling the kids started to freak out which made my skull throb. I just wanted (for the love of all that is holy) for them to be quiet long enough for me to decide if 1) I was going to pass out, and 2) if I were bleeding from the brain. Neither seemed to be the case so I sent Joe (who was in class) a few texts about how I was just clobbered by a pickle jar. In true man form he was all, "Man that sucks" not "Hey do you need me to leave and come home" But whatever.

I managed to survive the rest of the evening with a throbbing headache like none I have ever experienced. Hindsight I probably should have NOT gone to bed but I did at least ask him to poke me a few times in the middle of the night and make sure I was not dead. I stayed home today, still feeling kind of dizzy and just off. Plus I was not quite ready to face my co workers knowing that they would all soon know that on top of geese I also apparently am on the pickles death list

I ended up going to urgent care today because the headache and "weird" feeling that I cant so much describe would not go away. I sat across from the intake girl and when she asked why I was there responded with "I was attacked by a jar of pickles" She stared. I stared. And when she realized that I was not kidding she began making notes

I underwrite health insurance. A perk of this job is getting to read all of the random shit that people tell their doctors. When you tell your Dr that your marriage is in trouble because of your addiction to hookers or that you just cant seem to shake the vaginal itching they write that shit down verbatim. Forever in my medical records it now says "hit on the head by a jar of pickles.

Diagnosis? Concussion. For realz. Treatment? Nada. There is not a thing to be done about concussions other than don't sleep more than 4 hours at a time without being pestered and don't drink. Both which I have already failed to comply with. Don't judge, the wine helps with the headache.

So adding to the list of things I hate with a raging passion (geese, sold out NKOTB cruises and Snookie) I officially add pickles. And yes I forgive you for laughing because truly....who is NOT going to laugh at a chick who gets a concussion from a pickle jar. I would.

Horny Geese Suck

Not sure there is much else to say when you get an email from your place of employment that says the following

A goose is nesting near the pond path. There have been some reports that the goose’s mate is acting in an aggressive nature toward people walking on or near the path. Until further notice please do not walk on the pond path.

I refuse to be a victim

They're Baaaaaaaaaaack

And by THEY I mean those bastard geese. And this time they brought friends. A plethora of them. Though I think the correct term just might be gaggle

There are no less than one meeeelion geese outside of my office right now. Truly. It may only look like about 50 but I know that they are just all balled together in effort to make it look like less. They know that I know that they are on to me and are going into stealth mode to plot this year's attack

They sit their fat asses out there on our frozen pond and plot. Yes I know it LOOKS like they are sleeping but I am not stupid, I know a nap when I see one and those missionaries of the devil geese are not sleeping. They are waiting. Waiting on just the right moment where I am distracted enough for them to make their move. And because there are so many of them it will be a sniper attack that comes from within the goose pile and I will never know what hit me. I will go down in a pile of feathers and fake Prada bag cussing up a storm

So far this year they are winning. I wont give up though. I wont go down without a fight. This just may be the year that I run one over in the parking lot. Goose Lovin security guard be dammed. I would like to see what HE would do in the face of evil. I'm sure it would not be to "protect those endangered birds"

This is just ONE little section of TWO ponds where I work that is covered with them

Endangered my ass

Dirty Jobs

Sometimes while flipping through channels Joe will stop of Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe. If you don't know what this show is this guy goes out and finds the nastiest jobs that are out there and then jumps in and does said job. Some I remember from the past are maggot farmer and roadkill cleaner. My favorite USED to be the episode where he made wine until this little gem came on last night. As you can imagine I approve of any job that involves processing dead geese.

So, Kindergarten.......we love it! He is having so much fun and making some new little friends. He has mentioned a little girl named Melia a few times....I think he may have a little crush on her. I met her today and expected her to be blond hair blue eyed like his other 2 past "loves" but she is a brunette. There is a ladder with different color rungs on it and all the kids start on green and can move up to blue or purple (YEAH!!) or down to red, yellow and I think black (boooo) 2 kids already had notes sent home on the 2nd day of school. Pierce made it to blue yesterday and said he was going to go to purple (the top). We shall see.

I hate Geese- Chapter 71

The little bastards continue to terrorize the world. One sweet bystander at a time. Their newest victim.....Sally who is one of my favorite blogging buddies. I curse them for you Sally.....and welcome you with open arms into the "I Hate Geese" club. Please feel free to take my little sign over to the right. I hope you recover from your assault soon, find a support group and get some xanax.

In keeping with the theme.....last night was week 1 of a photography class. It was awesome. I learned some new stuff about my camera settings but since it was just week 1 he spent a lot of time showing slides of pictures that he had taken to talk about different things. No less than 5 of them were pictures of geese. I am really excited about the next 5 weeks of this class but I swear if he shows geese pictures every week I just might snap

I can run, but I cannot hide

Sigh. I wish I was still at the beach. Joe and Pierce wish we were still at the beach. Mallory, not so much. I'm also back at work today digging through one meeeelion emails. Because of that I am going to just leave you with this little nugget of goodness.

How on earth did I spend an entire week at my in laws beach house (not to mention 5 or so other times spent here) and not notice THIS little bastard hanging out above the kitchen sink

The constant goose eye is starting to make me nervous. I know the little demons are just waiting to take me down. Must talk to mother in law and find out who's side she is on.

A plague upon my house

You know what sucks? Pierce getting strep. You know what else sucks? ME getting strep. You know what sucks the most? Pierce and I getting strep 2 days before we leave for vacation and just waiting for Mallory and Joe to be struck down

Yes the sickie ickies have descended upon The House Of No Sleep. No doubt caused by a goose somewhere. Pierce was sent home with a fever on Wed, diagnosis strep. I stayed home with him yesterday, started feeling a little nasty as the day went on so I took myself to the Dr. He handed me my amoxocillan and sent me on my way.

One thing about sick Cammie is that I do NOT screw around with sleep. I took the kids to school today and came home and slept until noon. I sound SUPER sexy and manly today...kind of like my name should be Marge and I should be driving a bus somewhere.

We leave tomorrow for vacation....we are beach bound and I am SO excited to play with the kids at the beach...praying that Mallory and Joe don't get sick in the next few days.

Please excuse my lack of comments these last few days....I was cuddling with my sick boy yesterday and today I'm just kind of laying on the couch feeling all BLAH. Since I have a sick obsession with my laptop I have a hard time being unconnected to the Internet I will be blogging away from the beach while we are gone!

Since I am fresh out of wittiness today I will leave you with a Pierce funny. Yesterday we were at the Dr reading a book in the waiting room and the story mentioned a housekeeper. Pierce asked me what a housekeeper was. I told him it was someone who cooked and cleaned and took care of the house and that mommy wishes SHE had one. His response....We do.....DADDY! God I love that kid.

Bras Are Dumb

As I sit here typing this morning the under wire in my bra is poking out and is stabbing me in the side of my boob. Yep, another bra bites the dust. Something I hate just as much as WEARING a bra is shopping for one. I hate spending that much money on an article of clothing that just makes me miserable anyways. 2 things that I take off as soon as I get home.....shoes (okay 3 things) and bra

So I started thinking.....if bras were just a little bit cooler, or they had multiple uses maybe I would not hate them so much. That of course led me on a search for the perfect bra

Exhibit A

A place to keep your goldfish. This serves more than one purpose because not only can you keep your goldfish close, but you can also get a little extra as far as size goes. I personally would choose piranha as a friendly reminder to Joe as to who is in charge. Careful not to pop them, because then you have dead fish.

Speaking of getting groped.....for those of you who DO want to be groped at or for you single ladies that encourage it we have exhibit B

This bra is PERFECT if your man needs a little extra help finding the girls. I would change this one a bit too......red means stop....green means go....and yellow means hurry up because something better is about to come on TV

Now if Joe wanted a guarantee to get some every single day he could invest in Exhibit C.....the bra made off 1 million dollars worth of diamonds. It may not be comfortable but man is it pretty.....and I keep telling him that my boobs are priceless.

In my search for awesome bras I did come across a few that were not so awesome. They were so not awesome that most I could not blog about while at work in fear of my boss walking by while I'm posting the pic of the bra made out of bacon. Use your imagination kids.....bacon is yummy.....but not raw and not in a size DD.

Here is one that I CAN share.....but what can I say about this bra other than it is just fowl.....hardee har har

Now if you are like me and you just dream of living in a world where letting the girls fly is acceptable (hmmm, I would SO be an excellent member of a tribe somewhere.....oh wait, no computer....never mind)then you can use your old bras for more creative ideas. Such as a place to plant your garden

Or make a pretty handbag out of it

I had a few other ideas that did not come with pictures so I will leave you to your imagination.....sling shot bra, goose choking bra....and my personal favorite.....lasso a hot vampire bra

The possibilities are ENDLESS ladies (and drag queens). Don't let your bra suffocate you.....free the girls and free the world.......

I am the bestest most awesome-est wife EVER if I do this....right?

So BFF Liz has informed this this morning that the New Kids on the Block just so happen to be in DC at the same time as ME! Quelle' Coincedence......I had the AWESOME idea to buy tickets and surprise Joe with them. Oh, he would be surprised. I could tell him that they were for HIM.....you know, cuz he won this big award. How thoughtful of me to surprise him with concert tickets while we are away. Wonder what would happen if I actually did this.

I mean that would really only benefit him because I would get all hot and bothered at the concert and.....well, you know. Again, win win for him. I am SUCH a good wife. hmmmmmm

No, I did not actually DO this. Not that I did not think about it. Still waiting on him to call me back so I can ask him if we can go and listen to him say hells no

Off to DC tomorrow!! I will update when I can, pray my little one does not pine away for her mommy while we are gone.....the big one is like "BYE, See you when you get back

PS I had a request from Sara for additional chapters to the "I Hate Geese" saga....I will have to get into this when I get back but the bastard office geese are gone for the season. And no I did not kill them.

Goose Rage?

We all know about (or even suffer from) road rage. I know I have been guilty of spewing some not so nice words or flipping a finger on occasion. When I received the following news story from Heather I proceeded to, alternately giggle and then feeling bad for giggling. This man I believe suffers from Goose Rage. Not to be confused with Post Traumatic Goose Disorder which is what I am afflicted with.

Please read the following with a grain of salt...I will put some of my own thoughts in but I don't REALLY endorse cruelty to animals....yes, even geese, which I barely consider an animal.

In Warren County, a sheriff's deputy is under investigation for beating a Canada goose to death. oh, a dead goose....awesome my favorite kind

It was along Columbia Road in Deerfield Township where, at about 10 a.m.
Sunday, Lisa and Artie Kuhn spotted an injured Canada goose.

Lisa called 911, hoping to get the bird some help. what a good Samaritan, I probably would have ran it over to put it out of it's misery......what?? I'm just thinking of the goose

A Warren County sheriff's deputy responded, but the Kuhn family never expected what came next. can you hear the suspenseful music kicking in? What happens next, I have to know

"He raised his club up and began to beat it in front of me and my children and in front of people driving by with minivans full of children" said Lisa Kuhn. "I started screaming, Stop, you don't need to do that, he's not that badly injured!, and he would not relent." ohhhhh, SNAP. Way to kill my buzz here I was enjoying a tale of a soon to be dead goose and now it is ruined with actual animal cruelty.

"And he just kept on beating the goose," said Artie Kuhn, her husband. "And it didn't seem to do any good, so he stepped on his neck with his boot and strangled it, and he was holding his wings down with his club." have to admit....I snickered here just a bit....come on people PICTURE it....

All that's left now are a few feathers on the side of the road. seriously? This is a bit dramatic

Euthanizing a wounded animal is protocol for Warren County Sheriff's Deputies. and by euthanize they mean beat into a pile of feathers?

The Kuhn family is just asking whether there's a better way. They say some warning would've also been nice so their three-year-old didn't have to see the beating. way to pull the kid card, could you not have, ummm, I don't know....driven away?

"Blunt force trauma is what they call it to euthanize the animal ? and I want the policy to change, I want a written apology from him," said Lisa Kuhn. I'm sure this will be brought up at the next town hall meeting

The Warren County Sheriff's Office released a statement saying "the complaint regarding the deputy's actions is being investigated and there will be no further comment until the investigation is complete." or until they stop laughing

Wendy Carroll, who witnessed the incident, says she supports the officer. no, my name is not Wendy Carroll

"This isn't the area to shoot it, so he had to use something and he knew what he had to do and I believe that's what he did, said Carroll. so there

Thank you much Heather for the news story. I appreciate any and all opportunities to spread my hatred of geese through the blogging community!

Camping Recap

We had a most awesome time camping this past weekend! I was a bit nervous as to how her majesty would behave since she is not a fan of water, bugs or dirt but she had a wonderful time as well! I was SUPER annoyed to realize that I had forgotten my GOOD camera but I did have my other little camera in my purse so I was able to at least get SOME pics.

We had a bit of drama when we first arrived which proved (again) that wives are WAY smarter than husbands. I had been nagging Joe for months now to go and practice popping the camper up again prior to us actually taking it camping. In true man style he assured me that it would not be an issue. Guess what. It was an issue. He finally figured it out and we were able to get our mansion pop-up set up. I only made one comment like "Wow, maybe we should have practiced this earlier....just sayin"

I probably gained 10lbs over the course of the weekend thanks to really good dinners, and let's not forget the s'mores.....YUM. The kids swam (well, Pierce swam, Mallory allowed herself to get a little bit wet)and pretty much ran around that campground like they owned it. We were set up right across from the park so I was able to be mother of the year and sit my butt in a chair and read while I watched them play.

There was also a beach close by and we were thinking about visiting until I heard someone mention it was crowded with GEESE. I suspected there would be some close by....keeping their evil little goose eyes on me. Would you believe I can even toss a Twilight story into a camping story? While I was sitting outside of my mom's camper I heard the distinct sound that is "Bella's Lullaby" playing from the camper next door. I will admit that I hoped for one hot second that the Cullens were hunting camping next to us and my Edward was taking a piano break but alas....it was a woman with her iPod driving her spouse nuts to the tunes of the Twilight soundtrack. Ahhhh yes....Twilight fans are everywhere.....All in all I would give our weekend an A+. We don't get to go again until August due to vacations and Joe's work schedule but Pierce at least will get to go with my mom a few more times

Not Me Monday

Here we go again!! It is MONDAY. Time to fess up to all of the things you did NOT do last week. Head on over to MckMama's to link up and see what everyone else has NOT been doing!

I did NOT realize that I need to remember to NOT keep track of all of this stuff during the week so that when Monday rolls around I do NOT find myself sitting here trying to remember all that did NOT transpire in the previous week.

I did NOT purposely park close to the Baby Mama goose on purpose more than once last week. I did NOT tell myself that I am better than that goose and I will park where I want....only people who are slightly unstable would carry such a personal vendetta against a GOOSE. NOT ME.

Thursday night did NOT have Joe and I traveling to the fine Wright Patterson Air force base so that Joe could NOT accept award #1 for that awesome national award he did NOT win earlier this year. I do NOT think of this first award as him accepting the "Miss Ohio" version and later when we go to DC next month he will NOT be accepting the Miss Universe National award.

Last Friday did NOT make me want to cry because no possible way did my BABY turn 3. We are NOT going to talk about it because I'm NOT sad that my baby is 3......

This past weekend was NOT drill weekend for Joe.....I do NOT hate drill weekend and cringe every month when it comes around. This past weekend Joe did NOT have guys night after Saturday's drill and just stay out at the base....which had me NOT enjoying some alone time Sat. night drinking wine and playing wii after the kids were in bed. I did NOT enjoy that alone time at all......

Saturday afternoon before said alone time I did NOT pack the kids out and head to a friends house to have a play date. Erin and I did NOT get annoyed every time we had to get off of our lawn chair to push a kid on the swing because we were NOT AT ALL hoping they would entertain each other and let us be for a bit. I did NOT take some great shots of the kids playing

Rach Rachel

Lil Lily

and Mallory.....I do NOT get irritated to never get any good pics of Pierce......

Erin and I did NOT decide to feed our kids a SUPER nutritious dinner at Wendy's so we packed them up and then proceeded to NOT get caught in a monsoon running from our cars inside.

I did NOT spend a part of the weekend bitter and cranky that I was not on the NKOTB cruise with BFF Liz....we did NOT talk about the twitter pics a few times over the weekend and how we hate all those girls that were there.

Happy Monday!!

(PS---Im NOT AT ALL getting pissed to keep coming in to edit and trying to fix my paragraphs so that they do not smoosh together....It is NOT making me crazy thinking that I might NOT have to edit HTML....which I do NOT hate doing....Im NOT thinking that you can just deal with smooshed paragraphs)

I Hate Geese- Chapter 32

I swear I think I need a button and a Mr Linky for posting about hatred for birds. I believe there is a reason they are called "fowl"


Anyways.....this weeks episode of I Hate Geese comes with yet another visual aid. Please see below. You will note that there are TWO geese in this picture. The one I have had my eye on is indicated in red. She is sitting on the nest. Her baby daddy has been missing in action up until about this week which leads me to believe that the little spawn should be hatching soon.

Late last week my boss was attacked by daddy goose. He and mama goose were off in the field towards the back of the above photo. My boss was walking out to her car and noted that the 2 were flying rather quickly towards her face. Mama goose swooped over her and landed on the nest but big bad papa goose continued to his destination which apparently was my boss's face. Now she was not armed with a mighty Kate Spade bag like I was HERE but she did however have a laptop case to protect her. She lifted it to her face just in time and sent papa goose hissing away after he smacked right into it.

Fast Forward to today. Papa Goose is sitting as indicated above right in the middle of a parking spot. Not to be victimized I parked right next to him a few spots away and slowly crept out of my car. He stared at me, I stared at him. I swear I heard the sound of western music playing as if there was to be a showdown. My hand twitched towards my gun purse.

A friend of mine pulls up next to me (after pretending to run me over like we are in high school) and he pulls his window down. I dare him (like we are in high school) to park right next to him. Said friend is not one to turn down a dare so he pulls as close as possible next to daddy goose who is already bobbing his stupid head and hissing at him.

Friend gets out.....hisses back and charges at the goose. goose opens wings like a bad ass, thinks twice and turns and runs......

My hero.

Not Me Monday

Happy Monday!! All over the bloggy world people are happily posting their NOT ME MONDAY's to say how happy their are that STELLAN is HOME with his family!! Finally on the right combo of meds to keep his little heart working until he is old enough for another surgery! Head over to MckMama's blog if you are one of the last 5 people on earth who don't know who Stellan and MckMama are.

Sooooo, last week was kind of boring actually.....not a lot of things to NOT tell you about. hmmmm.

I did NOT deal with Mallory's temper tantrums at least 5 times last week. Each time I did NOT have to close windows in fear that the neighbors would hear and call children's services. I do NOT play that conversation in my head over and over....."no Ms Social Work Person, I have NOT been beating my daughter.....trust me, I have realllllllly wanted to but this performance is 100% ass beating free"

I did NOT go to the gym 3 times last week.....this did NOT make me happy because I am NOT serious about losing weight......I do NOT have a little over a month to drop some lbs before our trip to DC

Speaking of DC.....The fam did NOT head out to the airforce base in Dayton so Joe could get fit for a "mess dress" uniform which apparently is the military's version of a tux--which he will NOT be wearing when he accepts the awesome award that he won.
Why did the entire fam go on a trip to buy a uniform? Because I do NOT get excited to shop at the class 6 liquor store with cheap wine and no tax. Not one bit.
And finally.....to start my new week off on the right foot.....I did NOT snap THIS picture on my way in this morning....


I did NOT at all fear that they would dive bomb me on my way into the office.

Things To Do With A Goose

I have been thinking. I have been known to be rather bitter towards the feathered bird known as the goose. Yes, I have lost an iPod to a goose and yes I feel that they stalk me. While they seem to really be a menace to society, I have found that there are quite a few GOOD things that can come out of the goose population. Who knew? Most of them do involve the goose being dead but that is not my fault. So I would like to dedicate this post to THIS goose....the one that is sitting her fat butt on what is sure to be more little spawns of the devil more feathered friends in time to come. This is the goose that lives in my office parking lot. I hate her.

Bear with me as this may get a little lengthy....I had no clue that there were so many FUN things to do with geese.

First off we have the obvious.....goose outfits. Now I do think it may be a little difficult to get my office goose into an outfit (unless it is dead) but still there is much fun to be had with goose clothes. I feel THIS is most representative of their little birdy personalities.

My Mother in Law enjoys dressing her goose. I want to kick it every time I go to her house but I don't want to break my foot. Actually I also want to kick the office goose but I fear the security cameras would catch me.

Did you know that almost ALL parts of the goose can be used for something fabulous? Look at these pillows filled with goose down. Don't you just want to curl up on them and dream of geese being hit by semi trucks? I know I do.

Something else that is cool to do with goose feathers--dress up clothes. I know that if Mallory had a goose feather boa I would smile with glee every time she played with it. I would know that somewhere there was either a dead or bald goose that gave up it's feathers for my daughters enjoyment.

Even the EGGS of the goose are full of potential!! Look at this beautiful Christmas ornament made out of a goose egg. I would LOVE to hang it on my tree....every year I could think of the goose that did NOT hatch out of this egg.

Now let's talk about some of the awesome ways to EAT a goose. Tired of turkey at Thanksgiving? Feast your eyes upon this.What a tasty reminder that the only good goose is a dead one. How easy to make! All that you need is 1 goose breast, skinned and boned (2 fillets), 1/2 cup wine vinegar, 1/4 cup vegetable oil, 1/4 cup soy sauce, 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper, SAUCE: 1/4 cup currant jelly, 1/4 cup water,1-1/2 tablespoons Dijon mustard, 1 teaspoon lemon juice, 1 teaspoon soy sauce, 1/2 teaspoon steak sauce, salt, fresh-ground black pepper to taste--I have most of these ingredients at home and I can get the goose the way to my car.

In a zip-seal plastic bag, combine vinegar, soy sauce, vegetable oil and pepper. Add goose fillets, and allow to marinate 2 1/2 hours, turning often. Broil for 10 minutes on each side and VOILA....dinner is served.

A 3.5oz serving of roasted goose breast has 25g of protein!!

Having a party? Don't serve boring old cheese and crackers. Serve Goose Liver Pate and be all the talk of the town.

If all of this goose awesomeness has not convinced you that geese are our friends then I will leave you with this........The AwayWithGeese Unit.

From the products website........The success of the product is based around a simple concept. At night, geese sleep in areas where they feel secure from their predictors, such as dogs, fox and coyotes. (And jaded attack victims) Placing an AwayWithGeese unit into these areas disrupts the geese's ability to sleep, and they simply move to another safe area within a few days.

I hope you have learned something from all of this information. I know I have. That said....I still hope to accidentally run over the office goose today after work. I need a new pillow.

The Tale of the Dragon and the Queen

Our tale begins 3 years ago many years ago in Ohio a land far far away.

There once was a worn out working mom a beautiful Queen who was married to a worn out working dad handsome King. They lived in a 2 story house beautiful castle and had a sweet little prince who was at the time of this tale a wee 2 and a half years old. The beautiful Queen was so pregnant she wanted to die soon to soon to give birth to a beautiful Princess. In our tale the beautiful Queen had a job where she worked because they had to pay the bills out of the joy in her heart to serve others.

One day, on the last day of the Queen's service before being cut open blessed with the arrival of the princess the Queen found herself locked out of her darn car unable to get into her her white stage coach due to her own stupidity evil trolls putting a locking charm on it. The Queen was royally pissed very distressed and she called the King to come to her rescue. The King was unable to get to her and reminded her that there was a spare key magic wand kept beneath the stage coach for just this purpose that would break the evil spell.

Our fair Queen being fat and swollen beautifully rounded with her baby was unable to get down on the ground and reach under the stage coach for the wand though she tried with all her might. Meanwhile in the pond next to her stage coach an evil goose dragon was watching all of this with evil thoughts in his heart. He wanted to kill the Queen....he did. He slowly advanced on her while she was trying to reach the magic wand and began hissing his face off taunting our beautiful queen. Finally after many minutes of the stalking her, the Queen, now very distressed told him to fuck off kindly asked him to spare her life. The Queen was beginning to think she would never get back to the castle when a lady out on a smoke break wonderful fairy came along having heard the Queen cussing at the Goose like a fool plea with the evil dragon to leave her be. She was able to reach the magic wand and our Queen was able to return to the castle.

2 years later our Queen still tired...2 kids now living her blessed life with the King, Prince and Princess was once again heading back to the castle after a day of working in insurance serving others out of the need to pay daycare the goodness of her heart. She was heading to her new and improved mini van stage coach when she noticed the same damn goose evil dragon slowly heading her way. At first he came at her slowly...quietly....she watched him, unsure what his intentions were. He hissed growled at the Queen and she was beginning to once again fear for her life. All of the sudden the goose dragon took flight and flew straight at the Queens' face honking roaring loudly at her, fire flaming out of his mouth. In fear the Queen screamed. Armed with a Kate Spade bag a mighty sword given to her by the King to protect herself she did the only thing she could do and swung that bag up over her head raised her sword and nailed his ass with it just before he hit her in the face slayed the dragon just as he was set to kill her. The dragon lost some feathers and flew back to the pond fell. Dead.

Later that night at the castle. After everyone she knew had made fun of her tales of her bravery had reached far across the land the Queen realized that she was missing her 30G video iPod magic music box that she had in her Kate Spade bag close to her at the time of the attack. Frantically she went back to the place she had been working that day and looked all around for her magic music box as it was one of her most treasured possessions. Alas the magic music box was missing...her one hope was that someone had found it and would turn it into the lobby return it to her.

The next day....she was giving her time once again to the insurance company the people of her land when she was sent a message from the receptionist a messenger that someone had FOUND her beloved music box and it was waiting for her to pick up. With joy the queen ran to collect her music box...only to find that someone had ran it over it had been destroyed. Alas, in the chaos that was the attack on the dragon her magic music box had fallen out of her purse and had been ran over by another stage coach. The queen was so sad for she loved her music box.

Upon returning to the castle that night, saddened by the loss of her music box she pleaded with the King to please let her buy another one make her a new one. The king knowing he would never hear the end of it loved the queen SO much that he set out to buy make her a new one right away....80G BOO YA more beautiful then the last. The beautiful Queen was happy once more after 3 to 5business days.

And the beautiful, brave Queen lived happily ever after.