Hardwood Floors+Small Dogs=Awesome

Ahhhhh, order has somewhat been restored in The House of No Sleep. Well, as much order as there ever was I suppose. The fine workers from Lowe's left my house on Wed and from there began the process of putting the house back together. And with it, my sanity

3 days without TV for my kids was like poor Tiger going 3 days without sexting with some skank. And when the kids don't have TV to entertain him....they want Joe and I to do it. I kid I kid....I really do STUFF with them...I just love me some Phineus and Ferb when I want to say take a crap without a small child on my lap, or refill my wine glass.

But I digress.

Hardwood floors laminate with tiny bark-y dogs.....WICKED FUN

Gone are the days when I have to interact with my husband and children for amusement. Now I find it in the form of a rawhide and a yorkie (I don't mess with Scarlet....she is my baby). I will spend HOURS upon HOURS of watching the yorkie slide across the floor in pursuit of whatever toy I have tossed. I feel like a need a point system....5 points if he hits a wall for example. When he goes running after the cats?? He is like poor Scooby running from a ghost....his feet are moving but it just takes him a good 10 seconds to get anywhere. It. Is. Awesome. I wish I had video to share but instead I will just show off the new floors!

you can see small bark-y dog down in the corner...little does he know the fun that will soon be had

PS--on a totally unrelated note....although I guess it does sort of have to do with DOGS....who can guess what Im buying this weekend? Who is with me?

Having a small coronary this morning

I woke up this morning to an email from the website that I keep for my kids. About My Baby.Com They are closing shop. I have had this site since Pierce was 4 months old so just about 6 years. I have 6 years of photos, video and journal entries that as of Aug 1 will just be gone.

I'm not worried about the photos or videos....they are also stored elsewhere. The journal entries though.....*tear*. I know I can put them into a word doc and I may end up doing that but it will be HUGE and I wont have anything to DO with it. I know the first obvious answer is to just start keeping pics and journal entries HERE but I don't want to do that...for a few reasons. Mostly because the AMB site was always just about the kids....this is MY space. My grandparents don't need to know about or read this blog...for realz....There are other people that keep up on my kids site that probably DO know about this blog and that is fine...they just don't so much care about my girly trips or why I hate geese.

The point of this post....if you know of any other place that can host this kind of stuff...online journal type places please let me know. I could also just start up another blog totally for the kids but that is not the same as the AMB site. Blogging here is awesome but it is not always good for holding tons of pictures in one area (albums) that people can go through

off to scour the Internet for a new *home* for the kiddos

This Year I Will Gain More Weight

Yep. That's right. My New Years Resolution for 2010 is to gain more weight. I'm going to get Jerry Springer Show fat. I am not going to exercise one bit and my meals will all be fried and come with a side of cheese sauce. Expect to see me being cut out of my house on the Discovery Channel later this year.

Why such an awesome goal for this year? Why not the typical "I am going to lose weight and get in shape" goal that most of us make, and that I have made damn near every year since I graduated college?

Because I am smarter than myself. That's why. Each year I make that typical lose weight/eat better BS resolution. And each year I proceed to do the exact opposite. So since my SELF is so determined to outwit myself...you following me here? This year I'm going to fool myself into losing weight and working out by telling myself that I want to get fat(ter). Genius right? I don't know why mySELF did not come up with this years ago.

I've already started my trickery. Knowing that it is my goal to gain weight I went to the gym yesterday for a swim. Today I had a 190 calorie muffin for breakfast and got my starbucks in the non fat variety. So there self.

Who is with me here people?

Awesome or Shagalicious?

Joe and I would love to move. We love our house but we have outgrown it and there are a few demands things that I would really like to have in a house. I would love a bigger yard, one that is kid friendly. Ours is wooded, not much grass can grow and pretty hilly. I would also love a 4th bedroom and a fireplace. But what I really want is a soaking tub. It does not have to be a jacuzzi or anything, just a nice big garden tub that I can chill in with a glass of wine and a good book. And no kids.

I like to go to realtor.com and search out new homes in our area. Our house is not even for sale but it is still fun to dream right. Imagine my total delight when I found a home that defeats the purpose of moving although smaller then our current house has the coolest thing EVER!!

Feast your eyes upon the coolness!!! A soaking tub IN THE BEDROOM!!!! Of course I did make a few slight changes in my mind. It would need a flat screen TV (as indicated) that could play Twilight and a(horribly drawn)wine rack built in so that I would not even have to get out to fill up my glass. Dream come true yes?

So I sent my fabulous find to Joe who proceeds to tell me that it was shagalicious and in no way cool. I tried to point out the pros....if I had a bathtub IN our bedroom he would most likely find me naked more than he does now. Add to that my flat screen playing Twilight and then you have me naked AND ready for action. Add the wine rack....naked and drunk....2 sure ways to get some action. Win Win yes?

I really don't understand his hesitation. Yes he talked some trash about moldy carpet....but DUH...the amount of distance from point a (bath) to point b (bed) would be so minimal that there would be no time for water to GET on the floor. We can buy a bathmat for pete's sake.

Sadly I don't think I will win this one. As cool as a bathtub in my bedroom would be it is a smaller house then what we have now and that just wont work for us. Don't think I wont mention renovations when we DO find our dream home.

Where Is My Alice?

And no, I'm not talking about Alice from Twilight....although having an omniscient sister could be kind of handy too. I want THIS kind of Alice

My friend Lauren sent a list to me yesterday that made me laugh at it's absurdity. It was a list for getting organized and keeping your house clean. It included little chores that if completed every day will keep your house in tip top shape. Those chores include:

Make beds (riiiiiight)
Feed pets (if they are lucky)
Load/Run/Empty dishwasher (I do insist on this)
Sweep kitchen & entryway (umm, every day?)
Clean kitchen sink (does that not happen when you load the dishwasher?)
Clear/Wipe kitchen counters (yes)
Plan / Cook dinner (if by plan you mean order then yes)
Wipe out bathroom sinks (does not happen)
Empty trash (Joe's job)
Do laundry (every day? really?)
Read to children (probably the most important thing ON this list)
Exercise (I climb the steps a few times each day)
Quiet time (really)
Take vitamins/medication (my husband thanks me to do this every day)
Prepare tomorrow's clothing (pull out what is clean and does not need ironed)

Um wow. I barely have time to wipe my ass every day let along make all the beds in my house. Then it tacks on things that you can do each day of the week.

Sunday
___ Change dishcloth/towel
___ Change hand towels in bathrooms
___ Cut/sort/file coupons
___ Plan menus
___ Make shopping/errand list
___ Pamper yourself
Monday
___ Inventory refrigerator contents and plan meals around leftovers
___ Vacuum main/public rooms or 1st floor
___ De-clutter/organize desk
___ Dust office
___ Clean toilets
___ Replenish stock of toilet paper in bathrooms
Tuesday
___ Change dishcloth/towel
___ Change hand towels in bathrooms
___ Clean bathtubs and shower
___ Clean bathroom mirrors
___ Clean out purse/wallet
___ De-clutter/organize master bedroom closet
___ Vacuum bedrooms or 2nd floor
___ Go through coupons, dispose of expired ones
Wednesday
___ Clean top shelf of refrigerator
___ Clean knickknacks and shelves
___ Clip children’s nails
___ Clean/wash hairbrushes & combs
___ Clean outdoor trash can
___ Dust master bedroom
Thursday
___ Change dishcloth/towel
___ Clean microwave - inside and out
___ Mop kitchen
___ Clean telephones
___ Change hand towels in bathrooms
___ De-clutter/organize top of dresser(s) - master bedroom
Friday
___ Clean dishwasher door
___ Dust dining/breakfast room(s)
___ Change a/c or furnace filter
___ Sweep porch
___ Change sheets - master bedroom
___ Do a quick tidy/put away in each room of the house
___ Spend time on a craft/hobby
Saturday
___ Change dishcloth/towel
___ Change hand towels in bathrooms
___ Water indoor plants
Sunday
___ Change dishcloth/towel
___ Change hand towels in bathrooms
___ Cut/sort/file coupons
___ Plan menus
___ Make shopping/errand list
___ Pamper yourself

I want to know what sort of robo mom came up with this list? I need an Alice really badly. That brought me to wondering what the heck Carol Brady did all day? She does not DESERVE an Alice. She just sat on her butt all day reading the paper and drinking coffee while someone ELSE packed her kids' lunches and made her dinner. A housekeeper would be awesome but a live in one???? Bonus!!! By the time I get my kids fed, bathed and in bed I just want to sit down and chill not worry about changing the hand towels in the bathroom. Most stay at home mom's I know don't even have the time to do this sort of stuff.

Sigh, I suppose I will have to continue to live in a home where the beds don't get made and trying to remember the last time the "master bedroom" was dusted makes me giggle

Here is my list of stuff do do every day

feed, bathe and love on my kids till bedtime
drink wine
facebook
put out if I'm in a good mood
go to bed

lather, rinse, repeat