Seriously.....some of the random stuff that happens in my world makes me wonder if I'm not part of some Truman Show type experiment. Ran by geese. Let's rewind my morning about an hour.....*insert flashback music here*
I pulled my rocking fabulous crumb covered mini van into a parking spot at work. I grabbed my purse, my starbucks, my bag of plastic eggs and candy to give to my mom for the kids egg hunt, and the large kindergarten prep packet I need to look at, and opened my door.
And my panic alarm/horn goes off.
Well crap, I must have hit the button or something when I threw stuff in my purse. Put my stuff down, pulled my keys out and hit the little red button that makes it stop.
That is strange. Put my keys in the ignition, start the car.
Random co worker walks by. Stares at me. I grin like an asshole and wave.
Call Joe. Everything stupid is his fault. He is aware of this yet for some reason he always gets annoyed when I get pissed at him for things that are beyond his control.
"hey honey....you hear that?"
"Isn't that AWESOME, I cant get it to turn off"
"Press the red button on your keys"
"THANK YOU Captain Obvious, I already tried that"
"try starting the car"
"Did that, do you think I'm stupid?"
"Don't get pissy with me, you called me to help you"
"Well I want you to FIX IT not tell me the easy stuff"
he laughs....."It is actually kind of funny"
"No it is not....people are staring at me when they walk by....SIGH Goodbye!!"
More random co-workers walk by. One suggests that I hit the red button on my keys.
Finally I somehow get it to stop. Must of been the combo of cussing and psychotic button pushing. I open the door......
This time I get out, shut the door and just stare at my car in bewilderment. The security guard pulls up next to me. The same guy who laughed at me during the goose attack of 08.
"Cant get it to turn off. I don't know what is wrong with it"
"Did you push the red button on your keys"
"Sure did" if one more person asks me this I will stab them with my keys"
Try all the same things as above and somehow it stops again. I look around.....somewhere is a goose with a spare set of my keys laughing....I know it. Whew, okay....ready to go inside.....and my purse is in the car.
I could not make this shit up if I tried.
Finally again get it to stop. By now I have had the security guard looking for the fuse to yank it out. It is important to note that I had a hitch installed on my van yesterday for the pop up we bought. The only thing I can think is that the good peeps at U-Haul somehow crossed some wires or something. I hate them.
I fear leaving for lunch. How early is too early for xanax?