Friday, March 27, 2009

CRAZY.....Party of ONE.....your table is ready....


Seriously.....some of the random stuff that happens in my world makes me wonder if I'm not part of some Truman Show type experiment. Ran by geese. Let's rewind my morning about an hour.....*insert flashback music here*

I pulled my rocking fabulous crumb covered mini van into a parking spot at work. I grabbed my purse, my starbucks, my bag of plastic eggs and candy to give to my mom for the kids egg hunt, and the large kindergarten prep packet I need to look at, and opened my door.
And my panic alarm/horn goes off.

Well crap, I must have hit the button or something when I threw stuff in my purse. Put my stuff down, pulled my keys out and hit the little red button that makes it stop.

BEEEEEPBEEEEEEEPBEEEEEPBEEEEEEEPBEEEEEPBEEEEEEEPBEEEEEPBEEEEEEEP

That is strange. Put my keys in the ignition, start the car.

BEEEEEPBEEEEEEEPBEEEEEPBEEEEEEEPBEEEEEPBEEEEEEEPBEEEEEPBEEEEEEEP

ummmm.??

Random co worker walks by. Stares at me. I grin like an asshole and wave.

BEEEEEPBEEEEEEEPBEEEEEPBEEEEEEEPBEEEEEPBEEEEEEEPBEEEEEPBEEEEEEEP

Call Joe. Everything stupid is his fault. He is aware of this yet for some reason he always gets annoyed when I get pissed at him for things that are beyond his control.

BEEEEEPBEEEEEEEPBEEEEEPBEEEEEEEPBEEEEEPBEEEEEEEP

"hey honey....you hear that?"
"ummm, yes...."
"Isn't that AWESOME, I cant get it to turn off"
"Press the red button on your keys"
"THANK YOU Captain Obvious, I already tried that"
"try starting the car"
"Did that, do you think I'm stupid?"
"Don't get pissy with me, you called me to help you"
"Well I want you to FIX IT not tell me the easy stuff"
he laughs....."It is actually kind of funny"
"No it is not....people are staring at me when they walk by....SIGH Goodbye!!"

BEEEEEPBEEEEEEEPBEEEEEPBEEEEEEEPBEEEEEPBEEEEEEEPBEEEEEPBEEEEEEEP

More random co-workers walk by. One suggests that I hit the red button on my keys.

Finally I somehow get it to stop. Must of been the combo of cussing and psychotic button pushing. I open the door......

BEEEEEPBEEEEEEEPBEEEEEPBEEEEEEEPBEEEEEPBEEEEEEEPBEEEEEPBEEEEEEEP

This time I get out, shut the door and just stare at my car in bewilderment. The security guard pulls up next to me. The same guy who laughed at me during the goose attack of 08.

"Cant get it to turn off. I don't know what is wrong with it"
"Did you push the red button on your keys"
"Sure did" if one more person asks me this I will stab them with my keys"

Try all the same things as above and somehow it stops again. I look around.....somewhere is a goose with a spare set of my keys laughing....I know it. Whew, okay....ready to go inside.....and my purse is in the car.

Guess what.

BEEEEEPBEEEEEEEPBEEEEEPBEEEEEEEPBEEEEEPBEEEEEEEPBEEEEEPBEEEEEEEP

I could not make this shit up if I tried.

Finally again get it to stop. By now I have had the security guard looking for the fuse to yank it out. It is important to note that I had a hitch installed on my van yesterday for the pop up we bought. The only thing I can think is that the good peeps at U-Haul somehow crossed some wires or something. I hate them.

I fear leaving for lunch. How early is too early for xanax?


23 people fed my need for attention:

Heather

hey there! Stopping by from SITS to say hello :-) Man that sounds like one stressful morning, I think I would have wanted to just go back home, get back in bed, and try again tomorrow, lol!

E @ Scottsville

Well, think of it this way... it made for FABULOUS-O bloggage material. It made me laugh. It made lots of people laugh, I'm sure. And at least we can now all leave you fabulous-o comments and make you smile.

TGIF!!! =0) Hope your Friday gets better! (it'd be worse if all that had happened on a Monday, right?)

Leah

I'm sure it was stressful at the time, but that was hilarious and made for a great blog post! :)

Aileigh

In a situation like this... Xanax can be taken as early as 12:01 am! Drink a little wine with it too! I would have busted somebody in the mouth for the red button comment! Ugh...

Sally's World

LMAO....oh my god, i'm so glad I'm not the only one this crap happens to...love the way you tell it though!!!

I'm just me...

This is totally something that would happen to me. I too call my hubbs when something goes wrong and yell at him, poor guy it's usually not his fault.

This cracked me up, I'm at work and couldn't quit laughing when I had to answer the phone. They probably think I'm som kind of nut job answering the phone laughing.

Hope your day gets better!!!

Team Och

That is freakin hilarious! I hate to laugh at your expense...but you are a magnet for these things! :-)

Jenny and the Princess Peonies

Damn geese.

Lana

"somewhere is a goose with a spare set of my keys laughing" AHAHAHAAHAHA!!! (That's me laughing. Not the goose)

Tooj

Well....I might have had this happen to me. In my own garage. Imagine the echo.
Sometimes it's triggered by the lock on your car door, at least mine is. What I had to do (because I tried the button AND the ignition) was actually use the key to unlock the door. By putting it in there, it stopped it. Next time this happens, try that. If it doesn't work....a hammer is always useful.

Rosie

It's never to early for Xanax! Best if washed down with some wine!

Your conversation with your Hubby sounds all too familar...just leave out the "Honey" part. I'm not that sweet.

Kami's Khlopchyk

OMG! Cammie, you are freaking hilarious. You seriously couldn't make this up if you tried.

Captain Obvious! I will be using that in a sentence daily from now on!

Damn geese. NOW I believe and that little f#cker needs to go down!

Oh and did you try pressing the red button?

*dodges key thrust at eyeball*

Dani

That's awesome! LOL (Hear the irony in that?)

I had a similar experience once but in a church parking lot. Talk about disturbing the peace!

Shannon

OMG, thank you for this post! And, it's Crazy Party of Two - I'm coming to join you. Seriously, I've lost it. LOL And, according to me.. It's never too early or late for Xanax. Trust me.

Kelly

Oh shit. That was awesome. For me, obviously not for you.

Adventures in Mother Venture

OMG. I am howling from my basement. Can you hear me from Minnesota? This post brought flash backs to a similar incident on vacation this summer. Here's a tip. Do not open the hood and stick your head the engine cavity (or whatever it is called) while this is happening. Keep writing. BEEEEEP!

Jim Brochowski

Thanks. I needed this laugh. About the third time someone asked me about the button on the keys I would have thrown the keys at them and said, "You know, I didn't think of that. Why don't you try it, ya fargin' idiot?!"

'Course that might have worked if "they pushed the button," but that would just make for more laughter in your blog post.

Seriously good stuff. You are a great storyteller!

Anti-Supermom

'Adventures' sent me here. You did great job with this post, I felt like I was there on the phone screaming at your husband too.

Awesome.

Hope the beep didn't come back :)

Kat

I'm sorry, I'm sorry but I am sitting here laughing so hard that I have tears streaming down my face. Man I hate that stupid effin red button. I mean seriously in a real "panic" incident would you really hit it? Probably not.

Domestically Disabled Girl

YOu are awesome with a capital A. I always get a laugh here~ thanks~

Megan

LMAO! Only you, Cammie. Only you!

kel

Oh honey. It's never too early for xanax.

and that has soooo happened to me before! There was some short in mine. And ours happened in the middle of night in a crowded apartment complex we were living in.

People hated us.

The Un-Organized Mom

Hello Captain Obvious gets used in our house a lot!! This post had me laughing hysterically!!! I love it when I call my husband, and in his very monotone voice...he states the OBVIOUS!!

Thanks for the laugh!!

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