Friday, March 6, 2009

The Art of Selective Hearing.

It never fails to amaze me how husbands (and I'm using the plural here because I know MINE is not the only one) have this neat-o capability to only hear what they want to hear. Can you imagine a life where the ONLY things that make it to your ears are things you WANT to hear? Meanwhile all those baaaaaad things that us wives say such as "hey honey I'm going shopping today" come out like a teacher at Charlie Brown's school is speaking?

What a defense mechanism to have your mind automatically filter out the unfortunate things such as "I would like to go scrap booking today" or "Hey can you wipe the dogs butt?" and only hear things like "Do you want me to cook dinner wearing nothing but an apron?" ***

Let's take this example. Last weekend Joe mentioned to me that he was invited to play poker with some friends of ours this coming Saturday. Excellent.....please go because I was actually hoping to do drinks dinner with my girlfriends from work on Friday. Sounds like a plan.

Fast forward to last night when I reminded him of my plans for today. Blank stare.

Really? You can bet your ass that if I had said "Hey honey, next weekend I'm inviting Angelina Jolie over for a threesome " he would not have forgotten. In fact I could have said "Honey I'm inviting Angelina Jolie over for a threesome on May 7th 2015" and he would have the date memorized.

What part of the male brain censors words like "shopping"? It is truly fascinating. It must be the same part of the FEMALE brain that censors words such as "laundry" and "shave your legs"

Perhaps we need to find some sort of way to associate the things we WANT them to remember with something happy for them like golf. Such as when I let my husband know that there is something that I want to do I also smack him over the head with a driver. That way when he thinks of golf (happy things) he remembers that I too have plans.

win/win right?

***These words would never actually BE uttered in my house. I don't do aprons. Or cook

PS----I have this FABULOUS friend named Amy. I heart her in the big puffy heart way. She just released her sarcasm to the public for your reading pleasure...she is evil in a Cammie sort of way....which of course is why I heart her. HERE is her blog. She kicks ass.

23 people fed my need for attention:

Mommy of M's

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Jim Brochowski

I'm sorry. You said something about an apron and then Angelina Jolie and a threesome and ???

What was this post about? ;-)

Michaela

hahaha - so very, very true... only for my husband the magic words would be Alexandra Ambrosio (the VS supermodel)

Sparkette

WAY TRUE AND WAY HILARIOUS!! ROTFLOL!!!

Lori

My husband is the same way...

What a true post and very funny!!!

Aileigh

Hey, that will be the day after my 39th birthday! Oh, just dated myself! Nevermind! That is too funny! And sooo true! :)

Heidi

Hilarious!!!! LMAO!

Kristina P.

This is so true!!!

Kristen

Can't wait to meet Amy.

Lynette and I were just talking about this subject! I must admit I have done it to my DH.
LOL

Just A Chic...

I don't even bother talking to mine most of the time.

Amy

You're a whore, I'm a whore. It's cool to be a whore!
So thanks for whoring me out. I like it.

Bee and Rose

I go through this hearing impairment issue with the heart patient all the time...which is a huge bummer because his ears are about the only thing on his body that isn't wrecked!

E @ Scottsville

Oh, thank you Cammie. I sure needed a good laugh - and it was a GOOD ONE!

You go girl. =0)

Happy Friday to ya, and have a FABULOUS-O weekend!

Tooj

I can just imagine the looks on the kids' faces when I am standing there cooking....in just an apron.
Or did you mean that question to be posed sans kids? Hmmm. I don't know that language either.

Anonymous

Hi. I've been reading for a month or 2 but my 1st time commenting...I just have to say I LOVE the way you think/write! You are able to put things in writing that I am only able to think and ponder and get angry about...you make it funny! Your blog is the PERFECT place for me to laugh and smile. Thanks for that! :) Bren (Aileigh told me about your blog!)

Becca

Haha - so so true!! :-)

Connie Weiss

LOL!

Not only does my hubby have selective hearing...he has selective remembering. He has repeatedly told I could do things and then forgot that he said I could. It's NOT my fault that I tend to ask him these things when he has had a couple martini's.....

Have fun tonight!

The Wife O Riley

I stand in front of my husband naked. I tell him something then ask him to repeat it word for word. For every word he gets wrong, one more piece of clothing goes back on.

On my way to Amy's

Andrea

Hey, thanks for stopping by! I might actually try that golf club idea...;)

Shannon

I love it. When you find the right combo, let me know. My husband doesn't hear anything that he doesn't want to.

jineen

i have now prefected my use of reverse psychology on my hubby:) if there is something i really really want him to do, i list other things to do and leave that thing as the last thing on the list. works everytime:)

Anonymous

thats low down an dirty to trick a husband like that. unless he really deserves it:)

Becca

I have to start by saying that no you are in no way alone. I know that my husband is never hearing what I have to say! I have tried to do this. You know just act like he is not talking and he gets so upset and then I laugh and give up. I think it must be a rare ability that only they have!

Becca

Please visit me at http://www.askbecca.com

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