Bras Are Dumb

As I sit here typing this morning the under wire in my bra is poking out and is stabbing me in the side of my boob. Yep, another bra bites the dust. Something I hate just as much as WEARING a bra is shopping for one. I hate spending that much money on an article of clothing that just makes me miserable anyways. 2 things that I take off as soon as I get home.....shoes (okay 3 things) and bra

So I started thinking.....if bras were just a little bit cooler, or they had multiple uses maybe I would not hate them so much. That of course led me on a search for the perfect bra

Exhibit A

A place to keep your goldfish. This serves more than one purpose because not only can you keep your goldfish close, but you can also get a little extra as far as size goes. I personally would choose piranha as a friendly reminder to Joe as to who is in charge. Careful not to pop them, because then you have dead fish.

Speaking of getting groped.....for those of you who DO want to be groped at or for you single ladies that encourage it we have exhibit B

This bra is PERFECT if your man needs a little extra help finding the girls. I would change this one a bit too......red means stop....green means go....and yellow means hurry up because something better is about to come on TV

Now if Joe wanted a guarantee to get some every single day he could invest in Exhibit C.....the bra made off 1 million dollars worth of diamonds. It may not be comfortable but man is it pretty.....and I keep telling him that my boobs are priceless.

In my search for awesome bras I did come across a few that were not so awesome. They were so not awesome that most I could not blog about while at work in fear of my boss walking by while I'm posting the pic of the bra made out of bacon. Use your imagination kids.....bacon is yummy.....but not raw and not in a size DD.

Here is one that I CAN share.....but what can I say about this bra other than it is just fowl.....hardee har har

Now if you are like me and you just dream of living in a world where letting the girls fly is acceptable (hmmm, I would SO be an excellent member of a tribe somewhere.....oh wait, no computer....never mind)then you can use your old bras for more creative ideas. Such as a place to plant your garden

Or make a pretty handbag out of it

I had a few other ideas that did not come with pictures so I will leave you to your imagination.....sling shot bra, goose choking bra....and my personal favorite.....lasso a hot vampire bra

The possibilities are ENDLESS ladies (and drag queens). Don't let your bra suffocate you.....free the girls and free the world.......