Almost at 100

Wow. I can't believe I am almost at 100 posts. Which brings me to the obligatory "what shall I do for the big #100?"

Giveaway? Nah....everyone does that....I thought maybe you all should give me a present....maybe a Snuggie from KristinaP? But then I thought.....no.....as much as I know you all love me and would WANT to shower me with gifts....I can't take advantage of your adoration in such a way (email me for my address)

Q&A with Cammie? Maybe. I'm kind of an open book though and can't imagine what is left to wonder about me.....you already know how awesome I am.

100 things about me? Yawn. I have already refused to do the 25 things about me on facebook....

I'm kind of at a loss. Suggestions?

(almost) Wordless Thursday.....That's Right....THURSDAY

Since my winter rant kept me from being wordless yesterday....I'm going to go with Wordless Thursday

EFF YOU SNOW

This day is starting out to be a big ole bag of suck. I woke up this morning and before I even looked outside I could hear the ice. Super....with hope in my heart I called my company's weather line thinking maybe.....just maybe....we would be closed. Not so much. 2 hour delay. Meanwhile I look at all the other closings on the TV and laugh at the irony that while the Air National Guard does not have to report to work, I do.

I get showered, get the kids up and dressed and leave for work in plenty of time to get the kids to daycare and me to work using my normal "there is snow on the ground" pace of about 20mph.

Yes, that's right....I'm one of THOSE assholes.

While sitting at a red light I go to update my facebook status to something bitchy when I see a co-worker has posted that work is closed. WTF?? I call my boss who confirms that yes indeed, we ARE closed now. While I am truly pleased at this development I would have been even MORE pleased had this been decided....oh a few hours earlier.

On my way back home I realize we will have to stop at the store for milk and wine and I have Helpy McHelperson in the back seat going "Wow Mommy, this is a different day....I have never had breakfast BEFORE school (hey, they feed my kids there) and I have never had to turn around and go back home before"

Little did I know the fun had yet to begin. The driveway has not been shoveled....slid down this morning on my way out. Saying a prayer I hit the gas pedal to see if maybe I would get lucky and coast right up my (uphill) driveway. Wrong again. I get out of the car....do some half ass shoveling to find a nice sheet of ice about 2 inches thick under the snow. SURPRISE!! I go to find the salt container thingy and guess what.....EMPTY. SURPRISE.

I try to break it up as much as I can and get back in the car. Helpy McHelperson and his sister Mouthy McBrat are telling me that I am not doing a good job getting into the garage. Thanks guys, get out and push.

I will be victorious over the driveway. I will. Looking around the garage for something to help me get some traction I see the light.....in the form of a bag of bird seed.

Half a bag later I am THIS close to getting into the garage....cussing in front of my kids (mother of the year) I hit it one last time and barely avoid putting the car into the living room.

The kids cheer.

We are now all back in our jammies. I have already threatened the kids with taking them to school if they don't behave.

Snow and Ice..... Kiss my ass.

Girls With Books

One more quick post.....Kel from The Girl In Glasses and I have decided to start a separate blog for book type stuff....what we are reading, what we loved, hated, recommend, ect. We would love to have other people contribute to it as well, if you would like to contribute please send me an email and we will add you as an author. Please check us out at GirlsWithBooks Kel and I would love for it to be a blog where we can get lots of new book recs and give them as well. Now, please see below to return to your regularly scheduled blog read

A Letter To My Children....#2

Dear Pierce and Mallory,

It is time for mommy to have another talk with you. A few months ago we had a talk about your morning habits. This time I would like to chat about dinner time. You know....the time of day where mommy serves you the meal that she daddy spent hours preparing for you. Oh WAIT a second....that is not what happens at all.

Let me try again.

Dinner time. You know....the time of day where we fight about what you will or will not eat. Let me take some time to point out the things that you WILL eat.

pizza
chicken nuggets
peanut butter and jelly
white rice
"sketti-o's"
lunch meat
peas
yogurt

lather. rinse. repeat.

Now a few things that mommy has suggested for dinner that were not acceptable in your eyes.

Chicken and noodles over mashed potatoes....mind you this is the ONE thing that Mommy knows how to make and make darn well. Please do not look at it like I just served you dead rats on a platter.

Tacos. Mexican is mommy's favorite. Apparently it is not yours Pierce because you ran from me like they were loaded with poison darts just waiting to take you down.

Remember when Mommy made vegetable soup in the crock pot? Even daddy had to agree that is was good. I was so excited for the two of you to try it. Mallory, you took one look at it and told me you were "all done". Pierce, you at least tried it....after spooning it up and letting it fall back into the bowl a few times....you were not impressed to say the least.

It is not one of mommy's favorite times of day. The 2 of you will stare at me with utter confusion in your eyes when I say to you "we are going to try something new tonight" and immediately protest that you "don't like it" before I even tell you what it is. I can assure you that I am not trying to poison you..... ground up sleeping pills is NOT poison after all because sleep is an important part of a healthy lifestyle.

Those threats about the starving children of the world.....they fall on deaf ears.....it is not helpful when you suggest to me that I "mail your dinner to them"

One final thing about dinner time.....when you declare to me that you are "all done" or "full" and I concede (after all, I am not mommy dearest) I expect that to mean that you are all done. I don't want to have the following conversation

"I'm full" (the visual here is that there is still at least half of your dinner on the plate)
"okay"
"can I have a snack?"
"no, if you are still hungry than finish your dinner"

So please keep this conversation in mind. Tonight we may just go CRAZY and have something NUTS like pork chops. I promise you will make it through the trauma.

Love,
Mommy

Not Me Monday...with a touch of TMI

It is time once again for NOT ME MONDAY hosted by the fabulous MckMama where we all proceed to tell the blog world about all of the things we did NOT do over the past week. You know, because we are way too cool or responsible to do.....or just better parents/spouses than that. This weeks NMM has a touch of TMI so pull up a chair and enjoy...

I did NOT resort to bribing my child with M&Ms to potty train her. In fact I think this practice is SO horrid that I also did NOT yell at Joe when he told her she could not have M&Ms at 6AM. If I would have yelled at Joe it would have gone something like this:

"Daddy, I get M&Ms now"

"No Mallory, you don't get M&Ms in the morning"

"YES SHE DOES...SHE GET'S THEM WHENEVER SHE GOES POTTY, I DON'T CARE WHAT TIME IT IS"

Yeah, that so did NOT happen.

Speaking of going to the bathroom....I also did NOT weigh myself last Monday....scowl and curse at the scale and then have a great idea......Soon after I did NOT weigh 3oz less.

I did NOT think it was the BEST DAY EVER when I found Mike Tyson's Punchout (you know from old school Nintendo days?) Online. I also did NOT spend the next few nights ignoring my husband so that I could kick King Hippo's ass.

I did NOT have to wipe my dog's butt after she has some issues going potty (what is with the potty theme this week?) If I did have to wipe my dog's butt it would have only been to avoid her doing the muffy drag on my carpet. Again.

Happy Monday all!!

A MEME for Sat.....

I was tagged yesterday by Angie at Making Memories. This is a good day for one since my brain will be to fried chasing the kids around all day to come up with anything original without prompt

Here you have it.......


1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My Middle name is Anne which was my grandmother's name


2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Hmmm, last week probably, during continued drama with the work friend


3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Not so much. Which is why I don’t journal in my scrapbooks


4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Roast Beef


5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Yep


6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Heck yes I would, I kick ass


7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Ew, NEVER….ever…..


8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? nope.


9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No way


10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Frosted Mini Wheat's


11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No, but I rarely where shoes with laces


12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Peanut Butter


13. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Probably what they look like


14. RED OR PINK? PINK


15. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My weight...1


6. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My mommy board BFFs….including but not limited to KellyC, KellyS, Melissa, Lauren, and the never updating blogger Amy......but not for much longer….less then 2 weeks


17. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?? sure


18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Jeans and beige Uggs


19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The chick on the other side of the cubicle wall….who happens to be the friend who caused the drama a few weeks back. I'm typing this on Friday to post tomorrow


20. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Purple


21. FAVORITE SMELLS? Clean babies and lavender


22. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Ummm, Joe I think


23. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO POSTED THIS NOTE? Absolutely...she is a lovely blogger!


24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Ohio State Football!


25. HAIR COLOR? Brown died sort of reddish to hide the gray


26. EYE COLOR? Green


27. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope, had lasik earlier this year


28. FAVORITE FOOD? Seafood


29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? BOTH


30. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Twilight


31. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? White tank with a plum sweater


32. SUMMER OR WINTER? SUMMER…..please….soon….


33. HUGS OR KISSES? {{{HUGS}}}


34. FAVORITE DESSERT? cheesecake


35. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Eh, maybe Bee and Rose


36. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Not sure, I'm not tagging anyone because I suck like that


37. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? I Heard That Song Before by Mary Higgins Clark


38. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Pierce


39. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Bones


40. FAVORITE SOUND(S)? Laughing kids….specifically MINE..also the sound of wine getting poured into a glass...specifically MINE


41. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles


42. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? ummm, which is farther, Grand Cayman, Mexico or Jamaica?


43. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? That is NONE of your business


44. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Ohio


45. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? Ummm, whoever wants to play


46. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER? We were set up by my Aunt


Im a rebel so Im not tagging anyone. You want it, you can have it!

GIMME

The parents in The House of No Sleep....aka myself and the husband....each have what we call a GIMME. No, not referring to any sort of golf term where a gimme means that they ball is so close to the hole that you just assume the next shot will go in (you like that Golf knowledge? I don't). A Gimme in our house is that ONE person who should he or she show up at our door the other spouse has to leave for awhile no questions asked. You following me here?

Now, before you think that Joe and I are some sick swinger type freaks, I need to make it known that our GIMMEs are not ever likely to show up at our door....it is not like some hot chick up the street or a stud from my office.

For example. My Gimme:


Meet my secret boyfriend Josh Hartnett. I have had a stupid school girl crush on him since his days of The Faculty....which may just be one of the dumbest movies ever. Joe is aware that if for some reason Josh should ever come calling then he needs to find something to do. Just like I know that if this person.....


.......finds time between diapers and saving the world to come visit I need to go shopping or something.

Let's face it. Josh is going to show up WAY before Skankalina Angelina will. When you are sleeping with Brad Pitt you don't really NEED to go roaming now do you? Josh on the other hand.....not married, unattached, no kids. Game On.

Joe also knows that if I am ever so lucky that Edward comes crawling out of my Twilight book he needs to leave the house for awhile too......

Do you have a gimme?

I always knew I was a rockstar....now I have the name to prove it!

I totally stole this from Becky from the Wife of Riley. You have seen the whole "what is your stripper name" thing floating around I'm sure....well this takes it to the next level.


Feel free to play along.


To find your ROCK STAR NAME take your first pet & current car: Candy Odyssey......I see her with pink hair and a guitar....she can kick Britney's ass too.

To find your GANGSTA NAME take your favorite ice cream flavor and your favorite cookie: Cookie Dough Peanut Butter. Okay, this does NOT sound like the same of someone who could cut you....and that is just no fun. My Gansta persona would not last long.

YOUR DETECTIVE NAME? Your favorite color and favorite animal: Purple Dolphin. Ummmm don't people keep those next to their bed?

Want to know your SUPERHERO NAME? Just add the word "The" plus your 2nd favorite color, and your favorite drink: The Pink Merlot. Saving lives one bottle at a time

Your NASCAR NAME. Take the first names of your grandfathers: Stu Roger. Get R Done

If I ever go into WITNESS PROTECTION you can find me with this name. Ann Boreem

TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME? Just take your 5th grade teacher’s last name and add a major city that starts with the same letter: Pitcock Pittsburgh.....Calling for more snow today.

Of course, if you find me in witness protection I will assume it was because you were using your SPY NAME. Add your favorite season/holiday to your favorite flower: Spring Lavender....which incidentally is probably also my hooker name.

Find your CARTOON NAME by taking your favorite fruit, and an article of clothing you’re wearing right now, then add "ie" or "y": Blueberry Uggsy. Next on Noggin

Your ROCKSTAR TOUR is heading across the northeast...it's called "The" + Your fave
hobby/craft, your fave weather element + the word "Tour": The Reading Sunshine Tour...also showing on Noggin....and maybe on Yo Gabba Gabba as the Super Music Friend Show....if you are familiar with this madness

Your PORN STAR name! Take the name of your first pet and the first street you lived on: Candy Kenwell


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One more thing for today.....did you watch Idol last night? If so did you happen to catch the rather large guy named Patrick rocking out to Billy Jean? He is from my town and he is a part of a local radio station morning show. Funny story is that he used to stalk all of their appearances around town and they finally just started letting him hang out. They sent him to Idol as a joke to see if he could get on. He was shown for like 2 seconds last season but this year he got more air time. Funny thing is, he never made it to the judges...they edited it to look like he did though. He is kind of a tool but really REALLY funny to listen to.

Pierce's take on yesterdays events and get yourself a Kozy Pal

How was THAT for a blog title?

Before I get into that though, I hope that even if you DID have a different political view that you wont be offended by this post. If you are...tough. Kidding. Sort of. That is the best part of living in this great country is that we can take part in CHOOSING who we want to lead us.

Anyways

Pierce comes home from school yesterday (and by school I mean day care, but he is in a Pre-K class) and starts to tell me what he learned about why yesterday was important. I could not have said it better myself.

"Ms Beth told me today that after we take a nap and wake up then we will have a new president. His name is Barack Obama"

Funny, that is how I think a lot of us feel.....we took a 8 year really long nap and then woke up to a new president! I wish our new president all the best!!

Pierce also mentioned to me that he also learned about "A Dr that just wanted everyone to be happy and live in peace.....but then some bad guys shot at him and he died" Sometimes I wish we could all live in the minds of innocent children. I love that my children have such a diverse environment in their daycare. They have friends of all different backgrounds and races and never once have they asked me why someone has a different skin color, or why one of Pierce's little friends has 2 mommies. They just see their friends the way that I wish everyone in the world did.

Okay, that got entirely to deep for someone who strives for greatness in sarcasm. On to WHORING FOR A GIVEAWAY

The following is a Kozy Pal Cart Cover. It is the bomb. I'm not just saying that because my friend is the mastermind behind these bits of fabulousness. I have one and I love it....they are WAY better then the one's you can find at your local baby stuff store. They cover the ENTIRE cart, have a pocket for your xanax keys, a place for the kids sippy cup....the wonders never end. Melissa is giving away 2 $50 gift certificates and I have a pregnant cousin so I need to win one. Please check the KozyPal blog and enter to win.

A letter to my sister...by Pierce...age 5..dictated by Mommy

Dear Sissy,

I took a few days to come up with my reply to your letter because let's face it....I'm WAY more mature then you are. I am 5....I know EVERYTHING.

I think you have forgotten something. You may be the baby....but I was here FIRST. Which means I have been working the system that we call our parents WAY longer then you have.

First off....my toys. While I may share them with you it is not by choice....it is to avoid time out. I'm way to busy for time out. Don't be a hater....I know my stuff is way cooler then yours but that would probably be because I am way cooler then you. I can wipe my own butt and that right there says it all.

My room....yeah, I let you play in there. What you have yet to figure out is when you are in there I generally can get you to clean my stuff up. That's right.....you lose.

I have totally caught on to the fact that you sleep most of the time with mommy and daddy. Have at it ....just remember.....the dog bites. Have fun with that. While we are on the topic of sleep....can you please lose the drama at bedtime? We do it EVERY night....going to bed is not that big of a deal....you don't need to keep me up for a good 30 minutes past bedtime by calling mommy in every 10 minutes because you need covered up again or you need a totally different stuffed animal to sleep with. They may fall for that crap, but I'm tired....so be quiet already.

MY name is Pierce. Not Piewce.

Let's talk about your obsession with Mickey Mouse for a second. Sorry to burst your bubble but Mickey is FAKE. He is not real like Santa and the Easter Bunny. There are WAY cooler shows for us to watch like Imagination Movers, or Transformers. Let's broaden our horizons a little shall we?

I like to play with you. Except when I'm coloring. I am an AWESOME artist (mommy says so) so when I am sitting at the art table creating my masterpieces please leave me alone. Your stuff is all scribbly...mine is cool. Don't forget that.

I love you very much Sissy.....now go clean my room.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now that that is taken care of.....I have an award to accept from the lovely Dawn at Bee and Rose. She is a fairly new bloggy friend and I love her blog.

This award says:

"These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

Passing this one on to

Becky at the Wife of Riley

My good friend Mel at Mama Loco....she is having a hard time, go give her some love---oh, she also has a fun new game to play on Tuesdays (that I just noticed....let's go play!!)

Ohio Kelly. Love her

Heidi at Mommy Doesn't Live Here Anymore

Kel The Girl in the Glasses....because we are going to kick up some sort of book blog soon right?

Kami Can you guess why?

Shalee at Sometimes It's Good to be Speechless

and fellow Twilight fan Jenny because I heart her blog

Not Me Monday

Another Monday, another installment of NOT ME MONDAY hosted by MckMama

Here are a few things that I certainly did NOT do

I did NOT go to the gym one time last week, get all excited about working out, and then not go back for the rest of the week.

I did NOT leave my kids locked in the car on the side of the road to run into the house quickly. The reason I did NOT do this had nothing to do with the snow on the driveway and since I did NOT do this I also did NOT almost fall on my ass about 15 times. Nope, not me.

There is NO POSSIBLE WAY that I gave my child Motrin and sent her to school when she had a slight fever on Wed. Not me....that would be totally irresponsible and just wrong

I did NOT find out later that day that said child had strep. Mother of the Year once again.

I did NOT eat only a can of low fat soup on Thursday to save up my calories to drink Thursday night with my friends.

I did NOT tell Joe not to yell at the dog when she crapped in the house....it is 200 below zero out and she is shorter than the snow is hi......I also did NOT ask him if he would like to crap outside in this weather.

I did NOT hear the following sentence out of my son's mouth. "Mommy, I love you even though you have big thighs"

I did NOT start potty training boot camp with my daughter this weekend. Because if I had then I would have had to clean up my kitchen floor after she peed on it and told me she was "berry berry done going potty"

I did NOT realize that doing NOT ME MONDAY is WAY easier if you do it all week long in a draft post instead of trying to remember all this on Monday.

A letter to my brother.....by Mallory age 2.5..dictated by Mommy

Dear Pierce,

I have some things that I would like to talk to you about.

First off, we need to get something straight here. I.....am.....the.....BABY. What I am realizing that means is that 9 times out of 10, I'm gonna get my way. Mommy says that is not a good thing but really....I can tell most times she is way to tired to fight with me. Is she making a monster out of me? Probably. In fact.....She keeps saying that a long time ago there was ANOTHER baby that got her way a lot. We call her Aunt Lee Lee. Yeah, that did not work out so well for our Maw Maw.

So, now that you know that I am the boss let's lay some ground rules. Your toys? You will share them with me. And by share I mean give them to me when I ask for them. Even if my way of asking is screaming in your face to GIVEITTOME. Trust me....in the end it will be easier to just give them to me rather then listen to me scream. I am loud.

Also.....your room....you know the one with the cool bed that has a slide.....let's talk about this. I sleep in what may as well be called a cage....yeah I know, they call it a crib but really it is just a mini jail cell. So, since you have the cool bed with the slide I am going to come in your room when I want to so that I can play on it.

Speaking of sleeping arrangements. I'm not sure you even know this (and I'm not sure why I'm telling you) but most of the night I sleep with mommy and daddy. Yeah, I start out in that mini jail cell but usually around midnight when you are fast asleep I make up and flip the heck out so mommy will come get me. Since she is too tired to listen to me scream all night I get to sleep with them. I kind of think it is funny that you have not caught on to this despite the fact that I am in their bed every morning when you come in.

My name is MALLORY. It has 3 syllables. It is not MAAALLLLOOOORRRYYYYYYYYYYYY which is what you are usually screaming at me. You can also call me princess.

When I want to play with you....you will play with me. Immediately. If you don't we are right back to that screaming.

I know that I have what is probably an unhealthy obsession with Mickey Mouse. He is my BFF. This means that we WILL watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse when I want to. None of this Transformers crap. I know we have seen these episodes over and over but I don't care.

You are my big brother and I love you very very much. Keep these things in mind and we will get a long just fine.

edited by mommy...I would like you all to know that I in no way support the rotten behavior of this child.....I do my best to try and raise her NOT to be a brat. Baby steps. Stay tuned later this week when Pierce writes his response to his sister

Honest Scrap....Thanks Alexis!!

Alexis has bestowed on me the Honest Scrap award! This one comes with the stipulation of coming up with 10 honest things about yourself. I have always prided myself on being a blunt honest person so let's see what I can come up with.

1)I like to keep it old school in 2 areas of my life....reading and Wii playing. I still read V.C Andrews books and Flowers in the Attic is my favorite book. The new books....yeah, they all suck...but I read them anyways. Wii.....I love the play the Wii....but what you don't know is I spend more time playing the old school FIRST Nintendo games that you can download onto the Wii. I love to play Super Mario Brothers and Zelda games. Like a dork.

2)Joe and I met in a blind date scenario. One that I was damn determined to avoid. I met him with my aunt and a group of people that they worked with. I told my aunt over and over before I conceded to meet him that I did not need my aunt to hook me up with a boy. Um. Thanks Aunt Janice.

3)I met some of my very best friends in the world on the Internet. What started on theknot.com turned into another message board where I have been for over 5 years. We only get to see each other once or twice a year but I love these girls like sisters and I can't wait to see them in a few weeks.

4)I slept with a teddy bear until college

5)I have an irrational fear of flying, spiders, tornados and needles.

6)I want one more tattoo really bad and I want it on my foot.

7)I once slept with someone else's boyfriend (an ex of mine)and then lied to her face when she asked me about it. She was not my friend (to say the least) so I did not care.

8)I have a little half brother and sister that I have not seen in over 10 years. They are my dad's other kids and they are 13 and 15. Last I knew they lived with their slut bag mom who is my dad's ex. I wish I could find them but would have no clue where to start since I also do not have a relationship with my father.

9) I cry when I'm mad. It pisses me off because I feel like it is a sign of weakness when really it is a sign of me wanting to punch you in the face.

10)I have much love for my mini van. Screw you if you think it is lame.

Now, as far as passing this along goes....this one has been getting passed around a lot here in blogland so I'm going to keep it on my shelf for awhile. Thanks Alexis....this was fun

10:30 then and 10:30 now

Last night I went out with BFF Jenn and BFF Liz to celebrate Jenn turning 21 32. We hit a new fun bar in my area called Martini Park to see our FAVORITE 80's cover band The Reaganomics. We got there at about 7.

3 glasses of wine and a mojito later I was putting my coat on and heading out the door. It was 10:30.

Back in the day (circa 94'-98') 10:30 on a Thursday night went something like this:

7PM we were just finishing up dinner and getting ready to settle in to watch Friends, Will and Grace and ER. Then at 10:30 dressed in my standard issue sorority girl trendy black pants (seriously, I think they gave these out along with a secret handshake when you got initiated) armed with mace and MAC lipgloss my girlfriends and I would head up High Street to our destination for that night. The mace was for the "Little Person" (keeping it P/C here people) who would frequent High Street around closing time and yell at you if you walked by. Just in case we needed it...he was random. Oh, and also for the guy who panhandled in rhyme. "It might sound strange but can you spare some change" Ahhh, Ohio State. 10:30 was the time we left The House either for a bar, or a frat party. 2:30 was when we stumbled in the door trying to remember the code for the alarm (wait, or did NOT stumble home because I was stumbling to my boyfriend's house) and get into bed without making enough noise to wake up anyone who wanted to bitch about an early class on Friday....which by the way would TOTALLY be your own fault because they let you make your own schedules in college. Duh.

Last night 7 was when I got TO the bar after kissing my kids and husband goodbye, bitching about how cold it was (we did not even wear coats back in the day) and got into my mini van. 3 and a half hours later I was paying my tab and putting my coat on. Stumbling into my house (out of fatigue, not drunkenness...) and into bed trying not to wake my KIDS up thankyouverymuch barking dogs. 2:30 was when I woke up with heartburn.

Getting old sucks

PS.....

I bought the header and buttons from ShabbyShoppe.com. for $2.50....did the lettering and put the pic on and VOILA.....

New Layout.....

What do you think?

(almost) Wordless Wednesday

snip snip snip

Mother of the Year and a Photo Tag

Upon leaving the house today I was quite disgusted to see that it was snowing. Not just a little....tons of fluffy most people think it is beautiful snow. See, the problem is I HATE snow. Hate it. With a passion. I know I don't have a lot to complain about because we did not get much and know some of you out there in blogland have had to dig your cars out of your driveway. Even just an inch of snow is enough to turn me into one of those assholes who drive 20mph on the highway. I know. Most of you hate people like me.

After I slid down my driveway barely missing the trash thingy at the bottom and spun my wheels out to make it up the road (really, do I really need a little light on my dashboard telling me I am sliding....duh) the kids and I were on our way. 25 seconds later I remember that my ID to get me on the base where my kids go to daycare is in my gym bag. Sigh. Being that I pretty much never go to the gym (which is also on base, and free so I really should go) I forgot to take it out of my bag and put it back in the car.

Here is where Mother of the Year comes in.....of course I cannot get up my driveway and I'm not about to drag the kids out of the car and back into the house just to run in and grab my badge. I'm also not about to leave my kids in a running car on the side of the road....come on now, I don't REALLY want someone to take them. What I did do is turn the car off (making my children suffer the agony of being in a car with no DVD playing) Lock them in and tell them mommy had to run inside quickly and I would be right back. I'm sure they enjoyed the entertainment of mommy almost busting her ass on the driveway both up and back down.

Pass me my Mother of the Year trophy. I always swore I would never leave my kids in the car but today, the forces of the universe won.

On to the photo tag---I have actually been waiting on this one to come my way. I was photo tagged by fellow Buckeye mommyofm's to do the following:

1) Choose the 4th folder where you store your pictures on your computer

2) Select the 4th picture in the folder

3) Explain the picture

4) Tag 4 people to do the same

So here we have....................



Pierce and a school friend. This was in May of 2007 so he would have been 3 and a half....this park is right up the street from us and the kids' daycare does their family picnic there each year. I wish I had a good explanation for the random look on his face (mine is the one in the hat) but sadly....he probably just heard that he had to stop playing and eat lunch or something. And that hat.....It was size 12-18 months and it took me a loooooong time to convince him that it did not fit anymore. So...all this time waiting on this tag to come my way and the photo was not really any fun.

I'm going to tag
Matt at My Side of the Story
Kelly at A Day in the Chapin Life--it will give her something to do and she needs to make some blog friends
Susan in the Psych Ward
and Sarah

Have fun kids. Oh, one more thing before I hit the button.....Francesca told me I should make a perma link to my Tale of the Goose and the Queen. I'm going to go ahead and do that since I am quite convinced I will never ever come up with something so fabulous again in my entire life

Not Me Monday

Monday once again which means it is time for another list of things that I did NOT do this past week...to find out more about Not Me Monday go visit MckMama who is the brains behind this madness.

I did NOT wake up one day last week in the middle of the night to the sound of a cat puking on my pillow. Right next to my head. I wish I could spell the sound that was coming out of him but think plunger in a toilet. Anyways, it does not matter because it did NOT happen.

I did NOT spend an entire day at work in boots one of which was black and the other brown...and proceed to NOT notice until way late in the afternoon. If this HAD happened my excuse would be that at least they were the exact same boot....just in different colors.

I did NOT spend some time Saturday morning making a potty chart for my daughter , let Pierce color it, dig out some cool stickers and hang it up next to the toilet. Then I did NOT want to sell said daughter to gypsies when she looked at me and told me she did not want to sit on the potty and walked away.

I did NOT post what I think may be the work of a literary genius this weekend just below this post....and I am NOT whoring it out to tell you that you must go read it if you missed it.....just scroll down my friends....scroll down.

The Tale of the Dragon and the Queen

Our tale begins 3 years ago many years ago in Ohio a land far far away.

There once was a worn out working mom a beautiful Queen who was married to a worn out working dad handsome King. They lived in a 2 story house beautiful castle and had a sweet little prince who was at the time of this tale a wee 2 and a half years old. The beautiful Queen was so pregnant she wanted to die soon to soon to give birth to a beautiful Princess. In our tale the beautiful Queen had a job where she worked because they had to pay the bills out of the joy in her heart to serve others.

One day, on the last day of the Queen's service before being cut open blessed with the arrival of the princess the Queen found herself locked out of her darn car unable to get into her her white stage coach due to her own stupidity evil trolls putting a locking charm on it. The Queen was royally pissed very distressed and she called the King to come to her rescue. The King was unable to get to her and reminded her that there was a spare key magic wand kept beneath the stage coach for just this purpose that would break the evil spell.

Our fair Queen being fat and swollen beautifully rounded with her baby was unable to get down on the ground and reach under the stage coach for the wand though she tried with all her might. Meanwhile in the pond next to her stage coach an evil goose dragon was watching all of this with evil thoughts in his heart. He wanted to kill the Queen....he did. He slowly advanced on her while she was trying to reach the magic wand and began hissing his face off taunting our beautiful queen. Finally after many minutes of the stalking her, the Queen, now very distressed told him to fuck off kindly asked him to spare her life. The Queen was beginning to think she would never get back to the castle when a lady out on a smoke break wonderful fairy came along having heard the Queen cussing at the Goose like a fool plea with the evil dragon to leave her be. She was able to reach the magic wand and our Queen was able to return to the castle.

2 years later our Queen still tired...2 kids now living her blessed life with the King, Prince and Princess was once again heading back to the castle after a day of working in insurance serving others out of the need to pay daycare the goodness of her heart. She was heading to her new and improved mini van stage coach when she noticed the same damn goose evil dragon slowly heading her way. At first he came at her slowly...quietly....she watched him, unsure what his intentions were. He hissed growled at the Queen and she was beginning to once again fear for her life. All of the sudden the goose dragon took flight and flew straight at the Queens' face honking roaring loudly at her, fire flaming out of his mouth. In fear the Queen screamed. Armed with a Kate Spade bag a mighty sword given to her by the King to protect herself she did the only thing she could do and swung that bag up over her head raised her sword and nailed his ass with it just before he hit her in the face slayed the dragon just as he was set to kill her. The dragon lost some feathers and flew back to the pond fell. Dead.

Later that night at the castle. After everyone she knew had made fun of her tales of her bravery had reached far across the land the Queen realized that she was missing her 30G video iPod magic music box that she had in her Kate Spade bag close to her at the time of the attack. Frantically she went back to the place she had been working that day and looked all around for her magic music box as it was one of her most treasured possessions. Alas the magic music box was missing...her one hope was that someone had found it and would turn it into the lobby return it to her.

The next day....she was giving her time once again to the insurance company the people of her land when she was sent a message from the receptionist a messenger that someone had FOUND her beloved music box and it was waiting for her to pick up. With joy the queen ran to collect her music box...only to find that someone had ran it over it had been destroyed. Alas, in the chaos that was the attack on the dragon her magic music box had fallen out of her purse and had been ran over by another stage coach. The queen was so sad for she loved her music box.

Upon returning to the castle that night, saddened by the loss of her music box she pleaded with the King to please let her buy another one make her a new one. The king knowing he would never hear the end of it loved the queen SO much that he set out to buy make her a new one right away....80G BOO YA more beautiful then the last. The beautiful Queen was happy once more after 3 to 5business days.

And the beautiful, brave Queen lived happily ever after.

Today's blog post is brought to you by the letter.....

I saw this meme over on Danielle's blog. I thought it was cute and I wanted to play so I asked her to give me a letter. She gave me the letter D and now I have to make a list of 10 things I like that start with the letter D. Funny because I'm actually having an easier time thinking of things I DON'T like that start with D (dieting) but for once I will play by the rules.

1) Disney. All things Disney. From the Disney channel that allows me to use the bathroom alone to Disney World which is pretty much my favorite place ever.

2)Dates. With Joe of course. We don't get NEARLY enough of these and anytime I have alone with my husband is wonderful

3)Drinking. Not drinking like going out and throwing back shots of tequila, falling down and then waking up with a tongue that feels coated with fur (ahhh the good old days) but having a glass of wine is my favorite way to chill after putting the kids to bed.

4) Daughter. My sweet little punkin who has my spunk, attitude, and temper all wrapped into 23lbs of tasty good toddler. I love her brother as well but I did not get the letter S for son.

5)Dollars. As in "Honey, can I please have $50 to go shopping?" Which also usually leads to DENIED

6)Day Care. Speaking of my kids that I love more then life....I'm so very glad that they go to DAY CARE. I have nothing but respect for stay at home mom's....your job is WAY harder then mine....but no way could I do it. See #3 because I would have to do that a LOT more.

7)Diamonds. They ARE a girl's best friend. Too bad we lack enough of #5 for me to have more of #7....sigh, back to #3

8)Diary. Or as I like to call it....BLOG. I have had much fun doing this in the last few months. It is fun to have a place to be totally random, make fun of myself or or of others.

9)Dancing. Not so much myself anymore (maybe when I engage in #3) but watching my kids dance. Mallory has really been into shaking her booty lately (thank GOD because she does need to pay for college eventually) and it is so cute to see her dance around to whatever annoying Noggin song is on TV.

10) Drawde. This simply is Edward spelled backwards. And I like him all ways, forward, backward, sideways....mmmm......this sounds kinky....I better stop now.

If you want to play let me know and I will give you a letter! I can't email from work but I will just leave you a comment on your blog.

Saying thanks and giving a shout out!

I now have a button and a signature complements of Lee. I wanted to give her credit for not only making my button and signature but walking my dumb ass through the steps of putting the little scroll box over there to snag it. So after all that work....you all had better snag my button.

PS.....

Anyone know where I can get one of those cute little signature boxes you all have. Well, what I really mean is who wants to make me one?

RIP Dear Diary Thursday

I know I have been slacking on Dear Diary Thursday since the last few Thursdays have been holidays. So I just pulled it out and was all prepared to bust out some cute stories when I realized that once I hit about 1oth grade the stories got less cute and more personal. That being said....I'm putting a fork in Dear Diary Thursday. If you missed out on any of Dear Diary Thursday just hit the link over in the labels.

Guess what? I won a blog give away! I'm so flipping excited about it too! Heather celebrated her 300th post and did a give away for it. I originally just won her husband Joe and thankfully he is too busy with his honey do list for her to follow through with that which works out great because I have my OWN husband named Joe. Instead Heather will be making me a custom made scrapbook which if you are a scrapbooker you know this is an AWESOME gift because it means that I don't have to do it! Thanks so much Heather! I would have preferred Edward but I know you can only do so much and really....if you had the ability to give him to me you would really just keep him for yourself. Who wouldn't? Oh wait....that would be Gina and Kristina.

Carry on.

twice in one day!

I love making new blog buddies and I love me some awards (attention whore that I am). I'm happy to be adding this one to my blog from mommyofm's Thanks!! I will get around to passing it out but right now the husband and I are fighting over the laptop.

(almost) Wordless Wednesday

I did not want to NOT update about my Dr visit yesterday. Thank you all for the well wishes! My EKG was fine, I avoided lab work (whew) and she is putting me on a low dose of Atenolol to help lower my heart rate. It was 97 on the EKG and then 100 when she checked it. Really that is not THAT bad but still high. Re-Check in 2 months. She mentioned that I'm a tad on the anxiety ridden side. Duh.

My Sister in law Gina just started blogging. Go show her some love and give her some bloggy tips!! She is shiny brand new to blogging.

Sooo, onto Wordless Wed.....

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Be still my beating heart.....

No, really. Be still. Well, not totally still. But calm down.

Today I have a Dr appointment that generated from last weeks visit. I get to have an EKG and some blood work which is right up there with flying as one of my least favorite things to do. I HATE needles (said the girl with 3 tattoos). Why all this fabulousness? I have noticed for some time now that my pulse tends to run fast...or tachycardia which is the medical term. I decided to mention it to my Dr last week and she checked it and sure enough it was 105. That is pretty much what I have noticed it to be also. Here is a little secret about moi. I am a hypochondriac. Probably due to my job (I am a health underwriter...I read people'e medical records and decide if they get insurance or not) Since I spend a lot of my day reading people's medical records I tend to self diagnose myself with all sorts of fun stuff. I have just enough medical knowledge to be dangerous....especially for someone who already HAS anxiety issues. Soooo, the moral of this story.....if you are a pray-er....please think of me today. I'm stressing wondering what can possibly be wrong with my heart and hoping of course that it is nothing.

Day one of WW went fairly well....I actually carried points over. I weighed myself last night and wanted to cry. Here's to day 2

I have a shiny new award to share and pass on....thanks Becky. I love her blog and her husbands blog. They make me laugh. I'm stealing what she stole from someone else about this award.

The Friends Award is given to blogs that are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and to be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. The hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers.

I'm pretty good at NOT passing along to the number of people that I am supposed to....so here are the 4 blogs I am bestowing this on......

http://rdehaus.blogspot.com/ A Torn among Roses

Alexis

Susan

Connie

Not Me Monday

Time again for your weekly installment of "Not Me Monday" brought to you by MckMama. If you don't know MckMama or her story about miracle baby Stellan then I suggest you head over and get to know her. So, this past week was actually kind of boring.....

Joe and I did NOT send our kids to daycare even though he was home on vacation all week. We do NOT believe that since we pay for it anyways they should just go.

I did NOT refuse to get weighed at the Dr office when I went in for bronchitis. I did NOT think to myself they don't need my weight to give me a z-pack.

I did NOT spend 2 days in bed sick. Mommy's don't get sick days....even when we call off of our daytime job.

I did NOT tell Joe that if Pierce did not start putting the toilet seat down I was going to go all "Mommy Dearest" on him.

I did NOT sleep through New Years Eve.

I did NOT nap while Joe took care of operation Big Girl Room

I also did NOT open the champagne that I did not drink on NYE and drink most of it last night. Just because

Busy week.........

Operation Big Girl Room and another cool project....

The husband worked his butt painting Mallory's room this weekend. We are ready to move her into a big girl bed but still have to get a mattress for it. Meanwhile we got the painting part done. By me I mean Joe of course. Just when he thought he was done for the weekend we realized that the border we had ordered was on the porch! Yeah! I'm so SO happy with how it turned out, the bedding we got for her new bed has pink and brown dots too so it will all look great together once we put it up.


I do have a slight obsession with bows....and that IS the moon in her room....it is very cool


My sister in law knitted this doll for my Mallory, clothes and all

Still have to get the curtain up but that is in the set with her bedding.

Now THIS is awesome. My mother in law gave this to Joe and I to restore for Mallory. Her father or her grandfather made it, either way it is at LEAST 50 years old. Right now it looks like the scene of a crime but once we are done with it it will be AWESOME. Needs new paint, a new roof, new lighting, all new furniture and eventually a little doll family to live in it. I cannot wait to see the finished product and I am so happy we have this heirloom to pass on!

Things I am looking forward to in 2009

I have so much to look forward to this year.

Most importantly THIS sweet "baby" will be starting Kindergarten this year. *sob* Now as a scrapbooker this event is WAY up there in things to get excited about....I will probably start buying things for this momentous event around June. I still cant believe my baby will be starting school.

But let's backtrack just a little bit. January is kind of going to suck due to Joe's work schedule so I am holding my breath and counting down the days until I am reunited with my mommy board BFFs. These girls are truly my sisters and I miss them all SO much. Our last big get together was in Boston back in 2007. We had that kind of fun that leaves you in tears with a sore face from laughing and smiling so much (not to mention the hangover we all took home with us) So in just a little over a month I will be playing with some of my bestest friends who I miss SO much.

In April I have a girly trip of a different kind....my very first visit to

That's right....I have never EVER been to New York City. So my mom, a few friends and some other people I don't know are hopping on the fun bus to drive ALL night to spend one fabulous day buying fake authentic Prada and Coach bags, and to stand in front of my favorite place EVER
Even though we have one now in the town that I live in.

My Sweet baby turns 3 in May and that means no more diapers.....right?

In July the fam heads to Holden Beach, NC for a week's stay in the In Law's beach house. We did not go last year and I have really REALLY missed getting my annual shot of Joe walking the kids across the pier.

2004

2005

2006
2007

Also in July....and it is about DAMN TIME

In November.....my fabulous husband has a big milestone......one we are hoping to celebrate in ChicagoAnd SOMETIME in 2009 this gem will finally be released so I can get my Twilight fix without reading the series over again for the 3rd time (which I am likely to do anyways)And of course NEW MOON the movie will be released. Did you REALLY think I would get this far and NOT mention my boyfriend Edward?

A busy year indeed but it will be a good one!!