Monday, June 22, 2009

Bras Are Dumb

As I sit here typing this morning the under wire in my bra is poking out and is stabbing me in the side of my boob. Yep, another bra bites the dust. Something I hate just as much as WEARING a bra is shopping for one. I hate spending that much money on an article of clothing that just makes me miserable anyways. 2 things that I take off as soon as I get home.....shoes (okay 3 things) and bra


So I started thinking.....if bras were just a little bit cooler, or they had multiple uses maybe I would not hate them so much. That of course led me on a search for the perfect bra


Exhibit A

A place to keep your goldfish. This serves more than one purpose because not only can you keep your goldfish close, but you can also get a little extra as far as size goes. I personally would choose piranha as a friendly reminder to Joe as to who is in charge. Careful not to pop them, because then you have dead fish.



Speaking of getting groped.....for those of you who DO want to be groped at or for you single ladies that encourage it we have exhibit B



This bra is PERFECT if your man needs a little extra help finding the girls. I would change this one a bit too......red means stop....green means go....and yellow means hurry up because something better is about to come on TV


Now if Joe wanted a guarantee to get some every single day he could invest in Exhibit C.....the bra made off 1 million dollars worth of diamonds. It may not be comfortable but man is it pretty.....and I keep telling him that my boobs are priceless.


In my search for awesome bras I did come across a few that were not so awesome. They were so not awesome that most I could not blog about while at work in fear of my boss walking by while I'm posting the pic of the bra made out of bacon. Use your imagination kids.....bacon is yummy.....but not raw and not in a size DD.


Here is one that I CAN share.....but what can I say about this bra other than it is just fowl.....hardee har har


Now if you are like me and you just dream of living in a world where letting the girls fly is acceptable (hmmm, I would SO be an excellent member of a tribe somewhere.....oh wait, no computer....never mind)then you can use your old bras for more creative ideas. Such as a place to plant your garden


Or make a pretty handbag out of it


I had a few other ideas that did not come with pictures so I will leave you to your imagination.....sling shot bra, goose choking bra....and my personal favorite.....lasso a hot vampire bra


The possibilities are ENDLESS ladies (and drag queens). Don't let your bra suffocate you.....free the girls and free the world.......




post signature

30 people fed my need for attention:

Brandi

Great post. So funny. I myself HATE bras.

Mommy of M's

I love the last line of this post!! Too Funny.

I had too throw away 2 bras this weekend. Guess what I have to go shopping for this week. Oh.how.fun. :(

Ali

I have become a HUGE fan of the jewel-toned sports bras at Target... for all the above reasons... The only time they are not good is under delicate things... so I save my fancy painful bras for these...

LOVE the bra-planter

Anonymous

I personally don't hate bras. And I love that I'm a small cup because I can by the cheapies at Wal-Mart! lol

Anonymous

I hate buying bras too. I keep "bouncing" HA from size to size and I need to go buy more bras...but I don't want to!!!!!

Brandy@YDK

OMG - I hate bras too! thanks for all the tips. I can't wait to try the stoplight bra.

Also, my nana didn't wear a bra for YEARS and I finally convinced her to start wearing one at age 60!

Martha@A Sense of Humor is Essential

Underwires bras should be banned. The diamond bra would look very fetching on you.

Jessi

I tried to talk my husband into buying the bra of diamonds! I even told him I'd let him touch the girls more often if he did.

I don't think bra's do what they say they do. I know I wear mine 24/7 and my girls are still sagging LOL! So if you don't want to wear a bra, DON'T! Haha!

E @ Scottsville

Ya know, my bras honestly don't bother me. I think of mine as my friend! ha ha ha Gives me support at all times, keeps me under wraps, and always keeps me from making a fool of myself in cold rooms! ha ha ha

Great post Cammie. Your brain is just GOOD at this stuff! {applause}

Heather

Have you been to Carabee's blog lately, with her cabbage leaf bra?

This post was so timely, as my underwire was poking me just yesterday, and it was my favorite bra, and now I have to buy another. Ridiculous to spend that much money on an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder.

Jeez.

Alex the Girl

Since my "girls" need a bit of added support, I have to buy underwire as well. The Avenue has the best so far, but hell it hurts when those suckers pop unexpectedly. It's summer. I don't go back to work til August. I just pulled those wires out and chose to wait til August to buy a new one.

I could have been a bra burner, but then I'd be arrested for concealing deadly weapons.

Brooke

when it comes to bras i'm 100% about utilitarian bras. although the one with the flashing lights might be helpful for my small chest.

Kristina P.

I need that goldfish bra!

Although, going topless solves a lot of life's problems.

jmt

I LOVE the flower pot. That one is wonderful.

Linda

I hate shopping for Bra's also! What a pain!
Love the Bra photos...the bra planter is a Great idea! lol

The Blonde Duck

Popped in to say hi! That's so funny!

Unknown

I hate bras, and I keep hearing I just need the right one the right fit, but I know it will just cost more, because in the size I need, nothing is cheap.
Great photo story, I'm impressed you came up with so much G rated.

Mrs. Mootz

I've been looking for a pretty planter...but I didn't look in my lingerie drawer.

Alicia

Dang woman I love you!Bacon? Who does that? i think the stoplight bra would be a fantastic idea! mine would constantly be on red! poor hubs!

Dani

I missed you! I was on vacation for a while but I'm all caught up now. Great posts! You simply crack me up every time! Oh and congrats on the feature too!

Anonymous

Hahaha! You are hilarious!!!!

mommakin

Frick! I just threw out a couple poky wire bras! It didn't even occur to me to turn them into planters!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged

You can't have the vampire lasso bra, because EDWARD IS MINE!! YOu are welcome to the scary birdy bra though!

septembermom

You are so funny! Bras are an annoying harness, aren't they? Hate those underwires.

Anonymous

HAHAHAHA!!! Those are GREAT! I too think that bras are TERRIBLE! My ultimate dream is for saggy boobs to be "in". THAT is what I want to see on the front of Cosmo. I would SOO be one of the "uber cool boobie gals" then!! :D

Debbie @ OtRD

I love this post!! Your blog is so much fun. Just started a new giveaway. I hope you will stop by and check it out if you are interested. Thanks!

Rosee Rouge

I hear ya, sister! I'm sitting here braless (but not shirtless!)as I type and it feels great!

You mean you didn't make that one out of goose feathers???

Hope you feel better and have a marvelous vacation!

Nursing sports bras

This is really interesting, keep posts like this coming.

Nicole

Anonymous

How do you think credit crunch affected porn?

Anonymous

does anyone think porn is the only business still thriving during the credit cruch? I think many folks seek refuge in buying and wanking porn during the crunch

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