Monday, August 31, 2009


I have this strange little growth attached to my rear end. Gross right? Wait, I have a picture of it....can you diagnose me?

I know she is cute, I know she is my baby and I should treasure these moments....but for the love of all that is holy....she is seriously stuck up my ass. I do realize I am a very cool person but seriously....I have things to do

Let me get a little specific here. I know kids go through stages where they are attached to one parent or the other but Mallory takes this obsession with me to a whole new level. If I am home. I will be seated on the couch. And she will be seated in my lap. No questions. If for some reason I feel like, ohhhh cleaning the kitchen, or going to the bathroom there will be repercussions. I am not exaggerating. Yesterday she yelled at me for a good 20 minutes while I cleaned the kitchen after lunch to "COME SIT DOWN MOMMY" The longer it took the more pissed off she got. At one point she told me I was not her "bestest friend anymore"

When I DO finally sit down she backs her little butt up to me so I can pick her up and put her in my lap. That is not where it ends. She needs my arm around her so she can settle back into me. It's like I'm her freaking arm chair.

I love to snuggle with my kids, but I get driven to vodka when they want to HANG ON ME non stop. It is no wonder when I go to bed it is understood that I have MY side of the bed and Joe has HIS side of the bed...I need those 4 hours of sleep (before she joins us) where no one is touching me.

The mommy obsession follows us out of the house as well. We went through a phase where I was the only one who could buckle her in and get her out of her car seat. Thankfully that one was short lived but this weekend she started insisting on getting out of Pierce's side of the van so I could be there when she hopped out.

I have visions of me in bed with her when she is married. Scary visions

Thankfully she is not one to throw a screaming fit if I leave the house...she is only like this when I am with her. Sigh. It is hard being the coolest person I know

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20 people fed my need for attention:

Big Mama Cass

LMAO!!! Good times. Why are kids like that. Jimmy wraps his arms around my legs so that I have to waddle/walk around. It's so annoying. Even more so because he is usually WHINING the whole time. I hope this phase is short lived. But honestly? You aren't giving me a lot of hope. lol


Ahhh, I know those times and I have a similar growth, except he is 2 years old, drools alot, and has the sharpest teeth imaginable - don't ask me how I know that, just trust me on it!

Kristina P.

You are the coolest person I know!


My children want nothing to do with me unless it involves food, money, or a ride. She's a really cute growth and you are so right, it's tough to be so cool.

Jim Brochowski

I once heard a friend whose wife had a similar condition tell her. "You know, one day you ARE going to have to beat that boy's a**.

I'm just sayin' ;-)


omg i just laughed and laughed... i would give anything to have those days back again with my oldest... she's gone and almost out of college... relax they will be over soon and she will be telling you how much of a pain in the butt you are and how you know nothing! belive me this "love" will be over in a flash...

The Wife O Riley

I feel your pain. Ever since I've been off of work, I have had a 4 year old growth. I just enrolled her into preschool so I could get some peace.

Mandy Jo

LOL! Great blog:) I totally understand!


LMAO - love how you started this post and then showed the picture. She is adorable, but ummm, yeah, the hanging on thing would bother me. What about, when you go to the kitchen to clean, that you say - No, I'm not coming, you come here and help Mom clean. Yeah, like that'll work, right?

I have to laugh because I have a similar issue. My son was away for about a week. He came home yesterday and two hours into him being home......there I was again with a stubbed toe.

He walks SO close to me that inevitably he ends up stepping all over my feet. He's 9 and his shoe size is half a size smaller than mine. So you can see where that is painful.

Such is life :)


It's something about daughters, I think.

Don't worry, in ten years she won't want to be in the same room with you...

Yep, doesn't help much, does it?


Hahaha! I can picture it...rather easily, actually. That's probably not a good indication of where my little tag along is headed!! Thanks for the heads up!

Tammy Howard

With great coolness comes great responsibility.

Connie Weiss

I have this same problem but I have TWO of them that do it and one of them weighs 45 pounds! And we have a giant dog named Buck visiting us that follows me everywhere. If I don't break my neck tripping on him it will be a miracle.


I remember those days. What am I saying my daughter movved back in w/ 3 kids and a husband. I don't want to hear you complain anymore.


Perhaps you could try this. Saw this in today's paper after I read your blog. Looks like it was written just for you!

Jenny and the Princess Peonies

Ha! This is Addie to a T. only I can hold her hand. Only I can put her in the car seat. Sometimes I can her klingon cause she just clings on!!

I'm just me...

I have a very similar growth! Tink only wants to sleep bed with Hubbs and I, and then she insists her arms be around my neck with her face next to mine. Fun stuff! It is hard being the coolest person in the family!


awww.. one day you are going to miss it soo much:)

That is what I tell myself right now at least:) Summer has to go INTO the bathroom with me even! (and then comment on what is a going on) She is on me like glue!

Drama queens mum (Kimberly)

Funny. Yes, I sometimes step on Tara or trip over her because she is always near me. When I cook she's usually sitting behind me with some part of her touching me.

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