Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Kids Said WHAT?? Edition: 4


I thought I was not going to have anything good this week but in the last few days they each gave me a few good ones....I even have a middle of the night comment!




Little Miss Mallory....how I would love to get her to stay in her bed all night. How I wish I was not so lazy that I would actually just break the habit instead of letting her in our bed. But hey, I get up early....I can't spend half the night dealing with her screaming. So....probably around 3AM a few nights ago Scarlet (the dog that bites) decided she was cold and wanted to come up and get comfy between Mallory and I. Mallory wakes up and freaks out that Scarlet is there. See, Scarlet does not like to be disturbed when she is sleeping (who does?) and has been known to take a snap at you if you move your feet and touch her. Mallory tells me "You need to MOVE her mommy" and I said, she is fine, just leave her alone. "NO, you need to MOVE her. She is going to bite my toe toes off!!!"



Maybe not off.....



Mallory apparently has a new little boyfriend at daycare. When Joe went to pick her up yesterday she said she needed to go give him a hug before she could leave. As Joe watches, she runs over and hugs him and according to Joe it looked like she kissed him. Of course this gets a reaction out of daddy who tells her "Mallory, you are TOO young to be kissing boys" and she looks at him and says "I did not kiss him daddy, I wiped my snot on him" Wow, she is going to make someone a lucky guy someday.



My big kindergartner Pierce.....he is making so many new friends. Apparently a lot of them are girls because he says to me...."Mommy, I don't know why but ALL the girls like me" I know why.....it is those darn dimples that are going to get him in trouble!!



Pierce also gave me a rated R one this week without even knowing it. I got a tripod a few days ago and I had set it up in the kitchen to put my camera on it and check it out. Pierce decides that he wants to MAKE a little tripod and put a camera on it. Good imagination bud!! So he grabs a few different things out of the toy room and stacks them up and then a few blocks for the camera, and a little cd thingy that goes with some cd player and put it on top...not sure what part of the camera that is supposed to be but before I could ask him he says...."Look mommy, I even put my dick on it" I almost swallowed my tongue coughing. "I'm sorry WHAT?" "See", he says....and points to the CD. "Ohh, your DISC!!!" "Yes mommy...that's what I said" There is NO possible way that he knows what he said but MAN did it give me a good giggle when he walked away.



LINK UP!








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12 people fed my need for attention:

Brandy

super funny stuff.

Tooj

My sister once asked when we were going back to our "condom" when we were on vacation. I am pretty sure that my mom and her husband choked on their drinks. I was still "young" enough at 18 to pretend I didn't understand. LOL

TO had his birthday yesterday and we gave him family gifts (party on Saturday - in fact you'll re-read this story on my blog then.) yesterday morning. I told him to tell Daddy thanks for the bike...and dad in turn told him to tell me thanks. He didn't hear dad's request though, so fine.....I went all day knowing he thought dad gave him the bike. No big deal. Until he's on the phone with my sister and when she asks what he got, he states "a bike from dad, a game from his brother, and a ball from the other brother." My sister asked what I gave him and he said, "She didn't get me anything. Maybe she doesn't have any money."
Bastard children.

Kristina P.

Wiping snot. The new form of "I Love You."

E @ Scottsville

Oh, those were cute Cammie!

Sorry my kids didn't give me enough ammo this week. But I have a post "in draft" that I keep adding to, and when it's ENOUGH, I'll use it. My kids are older, so it takes a bit longer at times. =0)

Connie Weiss

That is so funny!

I tell my kids to leave the dog alone or he'll bite their faces off. And I mean off.

My kids aren't saying anything funny this week....I just have one of them pooping all over the backyard.

Leah

I love the "wiping my snot on him" comment. Funny!

The Good Cook

This post reminds me of the old Art Linkletter shoe, "Kids Say The Darnest Things".. too funny.

A little old lady I knew many years ago used to refer to my car as the Vulva (I had a Volvo).. cracked me up everytime!

Martha

OMG!! I heart your kiddos, well except that middle of the night stuff aint' cool, Miss Mallory.
I threw my back out and even though I have cute teen stuff to share, sigh, it will have to wait until next week. Please forgive me and don't kill Tinkerbell, okay? Thanks.

Jim Brochowski

I would pick a night and make that girl go to bed. Just draw a line. My youngest refused to be potty trained until we told her girls in diapers don't go to pre-school. Bam! Overnight - done.

Okay, enough unsolicited advice. Sorry.

LOVE! the snot story, and Pierce's imagination is fantastic. (But yeah, I giggled at the "disc.")

I only have something from one kid this week. When I have something from both I'll link up again. Like E said, with older kids it takes longer.

Kimberly

Too funny!

bigmamacass

HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! that is priceless!! :)

Love it! Makes me feel a little better since my little repeat says Penis and Shit now. Oi

Megan

LOL They're hilarious! Thanks for the chuckles!

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