Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Where Is My Alice?

And no, I'm not talking about Alice from Twilight....although having an omniscient sister could be kind of handy too. I want THIS kind of Alice


My friend Lauren sent a list to me yesterday that made me laugh at it's absurdity. It was a list for getting organized and keeping your house clean. It included little chores that if completed every day will keep your house in tip top shape. Those chores include:


Make beds (riiiiiight)
Feed pets (if they are lucky)
Load/Run/Empty dishwasher (I do insist on this)
Sweep kitchen & entryway (umm, every day?)
Clean kitchen sink (does that not happen when you load the dishwasher?)
Clear/Wipe kitchen counters (yes)
Plan / Cook dinner (if by plan you mean order then yes)
Wipe out bathroom sinks (does not happen)
Empty trash (Joe's job)
Do laundry (every day? really?)
Read to children (probably the most important thing ON this list)
Exercise (I climb the steps a few times each day)
Quiet time (really)
Take vitamins/medication (my husband thanks me to do this every day)
Prepare tomorrow's clothing (pull out what is clean and does not need ironed)

Um wow. I barely have time to wipe my ass every day let along make all the beds in my house. Then it tacks on things that you can do each day of the week.



Sunday
___ Change dishcloth/towel
___ Change hand towels in bathrooms
___ Cut/sort/file coupons
___ Plan menus
___ Make shopping/errand list
___ Pamper yourself
Monday
___ Inventory refrigerator contents and plan meals around leftovers
___ Vacuum main/public rooms or 1st floor
___ De-clutter/organize desk
___ Dust office
___ Clean toilets
___ Replenish stock of toilet paper in bathrooms
Tuesday
___ Change dishcloth/towel
___ Change hand towels in bathrooms
___ Clean bathtubs and shower
___ Clean bathroom mirrors
___ Clean out purse/wallet
___ De-clutter/organize master bedroom closet
___ Vacuum bedrooms or 2nd floor
___ Go through coupons, dispose of expired ones
Wednesday
___ Clean top shelf of refrigerator
___ Clean knickknacks and shelves
___ Clip children’s nails
___ Clean/wash hairbrushes & combs
___ Clean outdoor trash can
___ Dust master bedroom
Thursday
___ Change dishcloth/towel
___ Clean microwave - inside and out
___ Mop kitchen
___ Clean telephones
___ Change hand towels in bathrooms
___ De-clutter/organize top of dresser(s) - master bedroom
Friday
___ Clean dishwasher door
___ Dust dining/breakfast room(s)
___ Change a/c or furnace filter
___ Sweep porch
___ Change sheets - master bedroom
___ Do a quick tidy/put away in each room of the house
___ Spend time on a craft/hobby
Saturday
___ Change dishcloth/towel
___ Change hand towels in bathrooms
___ Water indoor plants
Sunday
___ Change dishcloth/towel
___ Change hand towels in bathrooms
___ Cut/sort/file coupons
___ Plan menus
___ Make shopping/errand list
___ Pamper yourself



I want to know what sort of robo mom came up with this list? I need an Alice really badly. That brought me to wondering what the heck Carol Brady did all day? She does not DESERVE an Alice. She just sat on her butt all day reading the paper and drinking coffee while someone ELSE packed her kids' lunches and made her dinner. A housekeeper would be awesome but a live in one???? Bonus!!! By the time I get my kids fed, bathed and in bed I just want to sit down and chill not worry about changing the hand towels in the bathroom. Most stay at home mom's I know don't even have the time to do this sort of stuff.




Sigh, I suppose I will have to continue to live in a home where the beds don't get made and trying to remember the last time the "master bedroom" was dusted makes me giggle


Here is my list of stuff do do every day



feed, bathe and love on my kids till bedtime
drink wine
facebook
put out if I'm in a good mood
go to bed


lather, rinse, repeat


post signature

29 people fed my need for attention:

Shannon

Whoever made that list was on crack, didn't have kids, pets, or a husband! Your list is much better!

Kitten

I'm stealing this one! Seriously...who has time to do laundry every day? Is it really necessary to do that as well?

Jessi

hahahaah that mom sounds like she's on crack! LOL

i dont flippin think so! i never dust. i'm so bad about that LOL. the kitchen does get swept and wiped down and dishes every day because we have two messy kids and 3 messy dogs and one messy cat!

laundry every day? um no. my house is always clean but by clean i mean picked up, decent. sure as heck not scrubbed down and spic and span!

love your daily list though ;)

I'm just me...

I agree, your list is much more doable. We are lucky if there are clean towels and socks at our house some days.

Dust the master bedroom...can't remember the last time that happened. I just close the door when we get company.

Ashley

I think my mother in law came up with this list...and I am pretty sure my dishtowel has not been changed in a month...give or take a month...I can even begin to get a handle on the rest of that...de-clutter my closet...every week...wow!

Anita

This made me laugh so hard.......I cannot get all that stuff done quite that automatically.
I do make the bed though, and guess what, it was one of the early chores I taught my kids.........something about that bed just makes my day.

Kristina P.

I am tired just looking at that list.

Tooj

Your list looks nearly as painful as the first one. LOL Put out? After bathing the kids? Really????

Kat

Who the hell changes their a/c or furnace filter every week? At my house that had A/C it was lucky if I got to it every 3 months!

Brandy

um. well crap - i guess i'm doing it all wrong.

Heather

Your list is so much better than that crazy one!

I love this post!

The Rambler

Buwhahahahahahaha...No effing way could I even put a dent in the list every day. In fact, I got exhausted just reading it.

sigh.

bigmamacass

LMAO!! I am obsessed with getting everything done, but never seem to get any of it done. I want that list. Seriously.

Aleta

Hehe. I'll admit, I make the bed every morning. Greg laughs and says, "Why make it if you're going to sleep in it again tonight?" I don't know, something about the sheets being made makes me happy to go to sleep. Lol. I'll clean, but ehhh, not cook. Nope, not me.

Tammy Howard

I have that "I dreamed my whole house was clean" notebook...

When I was single and wanting the married with children lifestyle, I always pictured more Carol Brady than June Cleaver. Carol had it seriously made. (It's been more, well, Married With Children...)

Becky

No lie...I did a post once about wanting an Alice.

Yup-posted her picture and everything! LOL!

Laughing at your comment of not having time to wipe your ass each day. I'm with ya:)

Stephanie Faris

A lot of things on that list just make no sense to do all the time. Cleaning the top of the refrigerator? Once every month or two would be more than most people do! And how does making your bed every day really make that much of a difference? You just climb right back into it every night and mess it up again.

Mrs.Rotty

hahahaha. the only people in this house is me an b and sammy our dog. nope. none of that gets done.

daily?
really? seriously?
daily?

um... no!

Tanielle

Wow, that is quite the list!!! Love yours!!!

Martha

I am going to print this list out and follow it faithfully...NOT!!
I like your to do like w/kiddos, mind altering substances, and bed. Hey, that sounds pretty trashy, ah well.

Jenny and the Princess Peonies

I prefer your list. Truly I do.

E @ Scottsville

Oh goodness... I don't have TIME to do all that stuff every day.

I want a Mrs. Garrett. You know, the one who lived with the Drummonds? (on "Different Strokes")

Drama queens mum (Kimberly)

That's funny. I do most of those things everyday. Laundry, bring the trash down to the garage, wash the kitchen floor with a swifter sweeper, wash the bathroom sink everyday. Some of the other things too. I have to wash the kitchen floor everyday since my daughter throws her food on the floor everyday.

Dani

That list is something I wish could happen- the way I wish my house could be- but it is SO unrealistic it hurts. If I started telling myself I had to do all that every day, I would miss out on so many other "more important" things.

Nana

That is so funny you posted about Alice. The other day I was saying to myself Holy Crap I'm Alice. Except Papa doesn't bring me my meat on the cheap. (I don't know if that sounds right) Anyway that list is absurd!!!!!!!!!!! You would have to go to bed at 2:00 Just to get up at 3:00.

Your list is much better.

The Wife O Riley

Hell, I'd even settle for Florida from Maude even though she wasn't a live-in.

This list is the reason mom's take their children's medication.

Kami

Who, in god's name, WHO changes their hand towels every other day!?! for realz!
And, you really put out every day? Joe's a lucky guy!
My husband is lucky if that happens bi-weekly!! LOL
I'm exhausted reading this post, time to take a nap. I could do that everyday...

Nicole

I want my Alice too. I can't remember the last time my kitchen was mopped. I don't eat off the floor so why does it matter?

Anonymous

save an hour or so each week to see your psychiatrist

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