Thursday, January 28, 2010

WTF is with all the spam comments?

Is that my punishment for being a crappy blogger these last few months? Well spammers you can suck it because I'm turning on that word verification thingy. Yeah, that will learn them

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Tooth Fairy Can Kill You

Pierce has his first loose tooth. To say he is excited would be an understatement. He is insane excited. We discovered it a few days ago and I have probably wiggles it 100 times for him since.

A few things he has said to me since Sunday night.....

"I wonder what the tooth fairy will bring me in a few days" ummm it's been a long time since I have lost a tooth but if I recall it takes longer than a few days
"I'm going to brush my teeth extra good so it will hurry and fall out"
"I hope the tooth fairy brings me $1000 dollars"
"Will it fall out tomorrow?"
"Mommy's and Daddy's can only see the tooth fairy, not the kids"
WHOA!! Even if I COULD see the tooth fairy I sure as hell would not look....I saw that movie Darkness Falls!! She KILLS you if you see her

I then started to think about all the random crap that most of us feed our kids....A fat man that slides down the chimney that we DON'T have and leaves all those presents (you spoiled ass kids), a RABBIT somehow makes it past the dogs to bring you those baskets...and he thinks he is crafty because he hides them?? The WINE fairy brings mommy all those bottles while she sleeps?? Oh, that is just at my house?

I know I believed all of this stuff too and looking back on it I have to laugh. Kids are so trusting of their parents that they will pretty much believe anything we tell them! I'm wondering how I can work this to my advantage. The looser this tooth gets I just may just start up with a new story about the tooth fairy. How she brings really good stuff to boys and girls who help mommy mop floors and run the vacuum. hmmmmm

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Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Are you on Facebook?

Pocket Edward is. I cant link it from here (stupid firewalls) but if you do a search on "Pocket Edward" you will find him. I was tired of him always wanting to be on MY page so I gave in an allowed him to have his own. Kristina P I almost sent you a friend request....just because I could.

Friend away. He loves meeting new people

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Thursday, January 14, 2010

They're Baaaaaaaaaaack

And by THEY I mean those bastard geese. And this time they brought friends. A plethora of them. Though I think the correct term just might be gaggle

There are no less than one meeeelion geese outside of my office right now. Truly. It may only look like about 50 but I know that they are just all balled together in effort to make it look like less. They know that I know that they are on to me and are going into stealth mode to plot this year's attack

They sit their fat asses out there on our frozen pond and plot. Yes I know it LOOKS like they are sleeping but I am not stupid, I know a nap when I see one and those missionaries of the devil geese are not sleeping. They are waiting. Waiting on just the right moment where I am distracted enough for them to make their move. And because there are so many of them it will be a sniper attack that comes from within the goose pile and I will never know what hit me. I will go down in a pile of feathers and fake Prada bag cussing up a storm

So far this year they are winning. I wont give up though. I wont go down without a fight. This just may be the year that I run one over in the parking lot. Goose Lovin security guard be dammed. I would like to see what HE would do in the face of evil. I'm sure it would not be to "protect those endangered birds"

This is just ONE little section of TWO ponds where I work that is covered with them

Endangered my ass

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Wednesday, January 13, 2010

How I spent $100 before 9AM

Today was one of those mornings that needs a lot of Zanax coffee to stomach. It started out not so bad....Actually left the house on time which is always a bonus and headed out to drop Pierce off at school

My gas light came on about 5 minutes later...yes I AM that person who waits till the last minute to get gas. Joe loves it. Get to Giant Eagle (local grocery store) get SUPER excited to have $1.80 off per gallon and filled up for $15.

Get in the car. Start it up. Oh I did NOT start it up because it would not turn over. Awesome. This happened a few weeks ago when Joe was driving it and it had to be jumped to start it. So I call my knight in shining armour to ruin his day.

He had just pulled on base (about 35 minutes away) and was thrilled to have to leave, turn around at rush hour time and come to my rescue. Meanwhile....Pierce is THRILLED. He thinks it is SUPER cool to be stuck in the car instead of going to school. He had his crack pipe DS with him and was all set. We went inside the grocery store where it was warm and I proceeded to make Pierce's day even MORE awesome by informing him he was having a donut and some grape juice in the store for breakfast.

Joe gets to me....drives us back over to my car and makes everything all better by jumping my car. Oh wait....that is not what happened because it STILL would not start. He finally got it to a point where we could drive it up the street to the battery place and at the tune of $100 I am all set.

While the battery is being replaced Pierce is STILL talking about how awesome it is to be late for school, and then tells me maybe he could make a jet pack and just shoot himself there. He talked so flipping much that I finally called my mom so he could chew HER ear off for awhile while I waited on my coffee to kick in.

now I have a headache.

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Monday, January 11, 2010

Texas Weekend Recap

I am sitting at my desk trying not to fall asleep. I have consumed much caffeine today in an effort to stay awake. I had another awesome weekend with my girlfriends....another one of those weekends where it takes me most of the week to recover from the lack of sleep and over consumption of alcohol

Kelly and I got to Texas Friday night and were picked up by the rest of the girls. We headed to a fanfreakingtastic Mexican place for dinner and margaritas! Back to the hotel where we proceeded to fit 8 of us in a 2 bedroom suite. Do the math people and it equals 3 girls in one king bed, 2 in another, 2 on a pull out couch and MOI in the kitchen on a blow up mattress. I have not slept in such a random place since an incident in a parking garage in Canada.

Sat day we kept it low key.....a little shopping, a little lunch and a little nap before getting all hussied up to hit a 2 step bar. Guess what....I don't 2 step. Lauren took me for a little spin around the floor and I did not trip over myself but I certainly did not impress anyone.

Pocket Edward also had an excellent time revisiting his state of orgin. Since I was going to visit the girl who sent him to me I had to take him with yes?

Rocking his cowboy boots y'all
Even vampires look hot as cowboys

Stopping to "catch" some lunch. Not mountain lion but it will do

I know I have mention this before on this blog but I love these girls. I am so blessed to have awesome girlfriends....the ones I have had since college, the ones I have at work and "those Internet friends" My liver may disagree with these weekends though that is for sure. By the time we were done with that hotel room I swear all we were missing were a baby in the closet and a tiger in the bathroom. Bonus points if you get that reference.

I love you guys and I wish we could see each other more often. Although if we did it may have to involve a rehab facility. Or the nut house. Whatevs.

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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Having a small coronary this morning

I woke up this morning to an email from the website that I keep for my kids. About My Baby.Com They are closing shop. I have had this site since Pierce was 4 months old so just about 6 years. I have 6 years of photos, video and journal entries that as of Aug 1 will just be gone.

I'm not worried about the photos or videos....they are also stored elsewhere. The journal entries though.....*tear*. I know I can put them into a word doc and I may end up doing that but it will be HUGE and I wont have anything to DO with it. I know the first obvious answer is to just start keeping pics and journal entries HERE but I don't want to do that...for a few reasons. Mostly because the AMB site was always just about the kids....this is MY space. My grandparents don't need to know about or read this blog...for realz....There are other people that keep up on my kids site that probably DO know about this blog and that is fine...they just don't so much care about my girly trips or why I hate geese.

The point of this post....if you know of any other place that can host this kind of journal type places please let me know. I could also just start up another blog totally for the kids but that is not the same as the AMB site. Blogging here is awesome but it is not always good for holding tons of pictures in one area (albums) that people can go through

off to scour the Internet for a new *home* for the kiddos

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Monday, January 4, 2010

This Year I Will Gain More Weight

Yep. That's right. My New Years Resolution for 2010 is to gain more weight. I'm going to get Jerry Springer Show fat. I am not going to exercise one bit and my meals will all be fried and come with a side of cheese sauce. Expect to see me being cut out of my house on the Discovery Channel later this year.

Why such an awesome goal for this year? Why not the typical "I am going to lose weight and get in shape" goal that most of us make, and that I have made damn near every year since I graduated college?

Because I am smarter than myself. That's why. Each year I make that typical lose weight/eat better BS resolution. And each year I proceed to do the exact opposite. So since my SELF is so determined to outwit following me here? This year I'm going to fool myself into losing weight and working out by telling myself that I want to get fat(ter). Genius right? I don't know why mySELF did not come up with this years ago.

I've already started my trickery. Knowing that it is my goal to gain weight I went to the gym yesterday for a swim. Today I had a 190 calorie muffin for breakfast and got my starbucks in the non fat variety. So there self.

Who is with me here people?

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