A Pierce Funny

So funny that yesterday I posted about Mallory's dramatic temper tantrums. Well she delivered another one this morning.....one that had me close the windows in fear that the neighbors would call child services thinking she was being murdered. It lasted a good 20 minutes where I just kind of ignored her and eventually it was over.

So, my hands are full, Pierce, Mallory and I are heading downstairs to leave for the day when I realized that Mallory's shoes were (for some reason) next to my bed. I asked Pierce if he would please go find them for me since I had other stuff in my hands and off he went to grab them. As soon as he catches up to us (and I should have known better) her majesty says "NO, I want to find them!!!!!!!"

Pierce looks in total annoyance at his sister. Drops them right there on the floor in the hallway and said...."There.....find them."

And walked away.

Temper Tantrums 101

My daughter will be three soon. I am learning that one thing that is worse than a 2 year old little girl is a 3 year old little girl. I say GIRL because Pierce only minored in toddler attitude while Mallory is working on her masters.

Don't get me wrong....Pierce had his moments....still does....but I realizing that the drama that comes with raising a daughter is WAY different than raising a son.

Pierce was never one to throw actual temper tantrums. He would get mad and cry but he never really did the whole throw yourself on the ground and act like you are being set on fire. I got off pretty easy with him. Yeah, that was lucky for me....but at the same time it did not prepare me for what was to come.

Mallory is an ENTIRE different breed of child than her brother. She may be small but she is mighty. One of the blogs that I read (darnit, I know you are here but I cannot remember who it was) mentioned yesterday the art of going boneless (Kristina, this definition is for you)....you know....when a child is so pissed off that when you try and pick them up and move them they go entirely limp usually causing them to slip out of your hands and back onto the floor. This cracked me up because Mallory could write a book on how to do this. Another of my toddler favorites is when they are so pissed of about something that when you try and put them in their car seat and they don't want to leave the park/the zoo/grandma's house that they do the OPPOSITE of going boneless which is what I like to call the 2 by 4. As in imagine trying to make a 2 by 4 sit properly in a car seat to strap them in. This also kind of resembles someone who looks like they are in need of an exorcism.

Mallory's temper tantrums are usually worthy of a Grammy. Now, princess is not going to THROW herself on the floor.....she is not dumb....she does not want to get hurt. While most kids crumble to the floor like they have been shot MY kid will gracefully lay down and THEN proceed to freak out. For up to 30 minutes. I have found that they ONLY thing to do when she gets like this....is walk away. Sometimes I will put her in her room and close the door. She knows that once she is done throwing her fit, when she is ready, she can come out. Every few minutes I will ask her......"Sissy, are you done?" and she will shriek NO and continue on. I walk away. The part that gets me is that when she IS done it is like a fricking light switch. She turns it off in a millisecond and will say....."I'm done" It is mind boggling.

While she is learning how to throw tantrums I am learning how to avoid them. I know what her triggers are for the most part. One thing that can surly get her panties twisted is me having done something that SHE wants to do....such as put her socks on, or open the cabinet to get something out. I must IMMEDIATELY put whatever it is BACK the way it was and let HER do it. I can tell you that this is SO fricking annoying....especially in the morning when I want to get them out the door. It is however way easier to pull the socks BACK off and let her do it then deal with "the performance" Ahhhh, independence. She has been known to CLOSE the cabinet door....take a few steps back and then walk back up to it and open it herself.....thus acting like she had done it all along.

I know that this drama is a phase and that eventually we will move into a new one.

I fear the teenage years.

Things To Do With A Goose

I have been thinking. I have been known to be rather bitter towards the feathered bird known as the goose. Yes, I have lost an iPod to a goose and yes I feel that they stalk me. While they seem to really be a menace to society, I have found that there are quite a few GOOD things that can come out of the goose population. Who knew? Most of them do involve the goose being dead but that is not my fault. So I would like to dedicate this post to THIS goose....the one that is sitting her fat butt on what is sure to be more little spawns of the devil more feathered friends in time to come. This is the goose that lives in my office parking lot. I hate her.

Bear with me as this may get a little lengthy....I had no clue that there were so many FUN things to do with geese.

First off we have the obvious.....goose outfits. Now I do think it may be a little difficult to get my office goose into an outfit (unless it is dead) but still there is much fun to be had with goose clothes. I feel THIS is most representative of their little birdy personalities.

My Mother in Law enjoys dressing her goose. I want to kick it every time I go to her house but I don't want to break my foot. Actually I also want to kick the office goose but I fear the security cameras would catch me.

Did you know that almost ALL parts of the goose can be used for something fabulous? Look at these pillows filled with goose down. Don't you just want to curl up on them and dream of geese being hit by semi trucks? I know I do.

Something else that is cool to do with goose feathers--dress up clothes. I know that if Mallory had a goose feather boa I would smile with glee every time she played with it. I would know that somewhere there was either a dead or bald goose that gave up it's feathers for my daughters enjoyment.

Even the EGGS of the goose are full of potential!! Look at this beautiful Christmas ornament made out of a goose egg. I would LOVE to hang it on my tree....every year I could think of the goose that did NOT hatch out of this egg.

Now let's talk about some of the awesome ways to EAT a goose. Tired of turkey at Thanksgiving? Feast your eyes upon this.What a tasty reminder that the only good goose is a dead one. How easy to make! All that you need is 1 goose breast, skinned and boned (2 fillets), 1/2 cup wine vinegar, 1/4 cup vegetable oil, 1/4 cup soy sauce, 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper, SAUCE: 1/4 cup currant jelly, 1/4 cup water,1-1/2 tablespoons Dijon mustard, 1 teaspoon lemon juice, 1 teaspoon soy sauce, 1/2 teaspoon steak sauce, salt, fresh-ground black pepper to taste--I have most of these ingredients at home and I can get the goose the way to my car.

In a zip-seal plastic bag, combine vinegar, soy sauce, vegetable oil and pepper. Add goose fillets, and allow to marinate 2 1/2 hours, turning often. Broil for 10 minutes on each side and VOILA....dinner is served.

A 3.5oz serving of roasted goose breast has 25g of protein!!

Having a party? Don't serve boring old cheese and crackers. Serve Goose Liver Pate and be all the talk of the town.

If all of this goose awesomeness has not convinced you that geese are our friends then I will leave you with this........The AwayWithGeese Unit.

From the products website........The success of the product is based around a simple concept. At night, geese sleep in areas where they feel secure from their predictors, such as dogs, fox and coyotes. (And jaded attack victims) Placing an AwayWithGeese unit into these areas disrupts the geese's ability to sleep, and they simply move to another safe area within a few days.

I hope you have learned something from all of this information. I know I have. That said....I still hope to accidentally run over the office goose today after work. I need a new pillow.

The Cutest Kids Ever

Okay, so I may be a little bit biased....

It is hard to believe that THIS angel laid on the floor and screamed at me for a good 30 minutes yesterday.

And that THIS adorable little boy tried to hit his sister twice this past weekend.

I have yet to see a happy medium between my children. They either love each other SO much that it makes you almost need a root canal from the sweetness, or they want to kill each other. No in between.

Happy Monday!

I won I won!!!

Yeah!!! I love when whoring pays out!

Thanks April and FutureMama--Mallory thanks you as well

April Showers: The Winner!

Sorry Jenny

Whoring for a give-a-way

ohhhhh, I want this!!!

April Showers: April Showers Giveaway Month! (Baby Girl Headbands)

Anyone who knows me well knows I love me some baby girl hair gear.......

Yet another cartoon I love to hate

I have yet another cartoon that my kids love that I would not mind seeing go up in flames. I spoke of my annoyance for Yo Gabba Gabba here and my hatred for Max and Ruby here. Today class let's talk about The Higgly Town Hero's

Aren't they cute? The concept of this show is actually not that bad. This show teaches you that EVERYONE in your community is important (aka a "Higgly Town Hero) Everyone from the dentist that fixes your teeth to the baker at the local bakery. They of course sing a little song about each hero and what they do that makes them so awesome. I like this part. I like that it teaches my kids that everyone is important in someway.

A few things I DON'T like.......

These kids.....when they get scared.....all hop inside each other like those little stackable dolls. So in the event that something really bad were to happen....the big one Eubie gets screwed because all his little friends are safe inside. Creepy.

They also have no arms. Until they need them. Then they appear quickly but then go back to those armless hands you see attached to their belly's. Creepy.

See that squirrel sitting on top of Wayne's head? Her name is Fran. In every episode the little girl who (Twinkle) comes up with what is always a far fetched idea about how to solve a problem...she is creative and enthusiastic. Then that bitch squirrel always takes the time to point out WHY her idea kind of sucks. Way to encourage imagination Fran. Way to be a buzz kill.

I also feel like in all of the episodes that I have seen (and I have seen a lot) they really have left out a few REALLY important people in communities that should be given hero credit.

Such As:

Bartenders. Oh wait, wrong show.....that is from MOMMYTOWN Hero's

Tattoo Artists. They encourage individuality and freedom to express yourself

Drug Dealers. So much easier to call on a Higgly Town Hero then to blow the house up making your own meth lab

The Town Slut- How can you leave out that REALLY helpful gal who usually comes with a gift that keeps on giving? Oh, and let's not forget her sister the

Prostitute- These women really work hard for the money that they earn--where would the Higgly Town politicians be without them?

I am sure that there are WAY more important community members out there (in fact if you can think of some please feel free to let me know in a comment) but these are the ones that I can come up with this early in the morning with not even half my coffee gone.

Like I said, I support the idea of this show but I really wish it would teach my kids the importance of ALL of the hero's out there and not just the folks like teachers and police officers. Come on Disney....let's get it together.