Pickles are the New Goose

So I was assaulted by a jar of pickles yesterday. No, really. I'm still not sure how it happened but as I was leaned all the way down getting something out of the crisper drawer for the kids

I all of the sudden saw little stars and birds floating around. That shit is really true! After the fog cleared and I looked down I realized that I had just been nailed in the back of my head by a 32 oz jar of pickles It had fallen directly on my head from the top shelf. About 3 feet. Exhibit A showing the size of the jar in comparison with a bottle of vicodin

Due to my insane bawling the kids started to freak out which made my skull throb. I just wanted (for the love of all that is holy) for them to be quiet long enough for me to decide if 1) I was going to pass out, and 2) if I were bleeding from the brain. Neither seemed to be the case so I sent Joe (who was in class) a few texts about how I was just clobbered by a pickle jar. In true man form he was all, "Man that sucks" not "Hey do you need me to leave and come home" But whatever.

I managed to survive the rest of the evening with a throbbing headache like none I have ever experienced. Hindsight I probably should have NOT gone to bed but I did at least ask him to poke me a few times in the middle of the night and make sure I was not dead. I stayed home today, still feeling kind of dizzy and just off. Plus I was not quite ready to face my co workers knowing that they would all soon know that on top of geese I also apparently am on the pickles death list

I ended up going to urgent care today because the headache and "weird" feeling that I cant so much describe would not go away. I sat across from the intake girl and when she asked why I was there responded with "I was attacked by a jar of pickles" She stared. I stared. And when she realized that I was not kidding she began making notes

I underwrite health insurance. A perk of this job is getting to read all of the random shit that people tell their doctors. When you tell your Dr that your marriage is in trouble because of your addiction to hookers or that you just cant seem to shake the vaginal itching they write that shit down verbatim. Forever in my medical records it now says "hit on the head by a jar of pickles.

Diagnosis? Concussion. For realz. Treatment? Nada. There is not a thing to be done about concussions other than don't sleep more than 4 hours at a time without being pestered and don't drink. Both which I have already failed to comply with. Don't judge, the wine helps with the headache.

So adding to the list of things I hate with a raging passion (geese, sold out NKOTB cruises and Snookie) I officially add pickles. And yes I forgive you for laughing because truly....who is NOT going to laugh at a chick who gets a concussion from a pickle jar. I would.

D-Bag Mom Sends Adopted Kid Back To Russia

So I am sure most of you heard that some douche bag mother of the year sent her 8 year old adopted kid BACK to Russia, ALONE. Yeah, I get that she thought he was psychotic, and a danger to her family, but really? Just send him back with a note?"

So today I happen across a poll on CNN.com asking if adoptive parents should be permitted to return their kids. I was surprised that it was fairly close at something like 46% yes and 54% no. Really? I think this is total and complete crap. If I can't send my kids back to where THEY came from why should other parents be able to do so? And way to screw up international adoptions from Russia!

asshat

How I spent $100 before 9AM

Today was one of those mornings that needs a lot of Zanax coffee to stomach. It started out not so bad....Actually left the house on time which is always a bonus and headed out to drop Pierce off at school

My gas light came on about 5 minutes later...yes I AM that person who waits till the last minute to get gas. Joe loves it. Get to Giant Eagle (local grocery store) get SUPER excited to have $1.80 off per gallon and filled up for $15.

Get in the car. Start it up. Oh wait...no I did NOT start it up because it would not turn over. Awesome. This happened a few weeks ago when Joe was driving it and it had to be jumped to start it. So I call my knight in shining armour to ruin his day.

He had just pulled on base (about 35 minutes away) and was thrilled to have to leave, turn around at rush hour time and come to my rescue. Meanwhile....Pierce is THRILLED. He thinks it is SUPER cool to be stuck in the car instead of going to school. He had his crack pipe DS with him and was all set. We went inside the grocery store where it was warm and I proceeded to make Pierce's day even MORE awesome by informing him he was having a donut and some grape juice in the store for breakfast.

Joe gets to me....drives us back over to my car and makes everything all better by jumping my car. Oh wait....that is not what happened because it STILL would not start. He finally got it to a point where we could drive it up the street to the battery place and at the tune of $100 I am all set.

While the battery is being replaced Pierce is STILL talking about how awesome it is to be late for school, and then tells me maybe he could make a jet pack and just shoot himself there. He talked so flipping much that I finally called my mom so he could chew HER ear off for awhile while I waited on my coffee to kick in.

now I have a headache.

A Plethora Of Randomness

So I thought about a blog post today but really I have nothing going on up in my head but a whole lot of random. I will share it with you. You're Welcome

This past weekend we went to the Kalahari which is a super awesome indoor water park up by Lake Erie. Pierce looooooooves the Kalahari, loves it so much that it is usually a fight when we have to leave. Some observations from our time there...

Mallory spent a week bitching at the beach. She did however enjoy the water park. She played in the toddler area and even let herself get wet. At one point she even sat at the very edge of the wave pool. Does anyone see the irony in this?

Why do teenagers (and in some cases adults) feel the need to wear the smallest bikini ever to a WATER PARK. Do you want your boobs to pop out? I fear that in most cases the answer to this is yes.

Some people who wear bikinis should not. Period

I am OLD not as young as I used to be. I don't recall needing to take an Aleve after a day of water park fun when I was younger. Water slides hurt your back.

The lazy river is meant to be LAZY. I wanted to drown asshole kids who were running through it with no flotation device to be seen

Mallory was supposed to start pre-school today. Keep in mind that pre-school is down the hall in the same building from where her toddler class is. She knew she was supposed to go to a new class today and she talked a good game over the weekend. Today she told me that she would go in 5 days. She was dropped off in the toddler class so as not to traumatize her. And by her I mean her new teachers

My sister and I have been in a disagreement for a few months that involves her treatment of our mother. That is putting it nicely. Today I tried to talk to her over text about how we needed to act like adults around her and not get into some screaming match that will stress out our mom. I asked her if she thought we could manage that and she told me to go fuck myself. I guess that answers that question.

I have 2 dates this week and neither of them are with my husband. I'm kind of excited because since they are not with my husband I wont have to put out. The first is on Wed with BFF B. I am going to see the much anticipated new Harry Potter movie. I cannot freaking wait! Friday I have a date with BFF Liz....we are going to the New Kids on the Block concert. Okay, we are streaming it live into her big screen TV but don't think I still wont throw my panties at them and lick the screen. I'm sure BFF Liz wont mind so long as I am not licking Donnie.

Happy Monday!

Bras Are Dumb

As I sit here typing this morning the under wire in my bra is poking out and is stabbing me in the side of my boob. Yep, another bra bites the dust. Something I hate just as much as WEARING a bra is shopping for one. I hate spending that much money on an article of clothing that just makes me miserable anyways. 2 things that I take off as soon as I get home.....shoes (okay 3 things) and bra

So I started thinking.....if bras were just a little bit cooler, or they had multiple uses maybe I would not hate them so much. That of course led me on a search for the perfect bra

Exhibit A

A place to keep your goldfish. This serves more than one purpose because not only can you keep your goldfish close, but you can also get a little extra as far as size goes. I personally would choose piranha as a friendly reminder to Joe as to who is in charge. Careful not to pop them, because then you have dead fish.

Speaking of getting groped.....for those of you who DO want to be groped at or for you single ladies that encourage it we have exhibit B

This bra is PERFECT if your man needs a little extra help finding the girls. I would change this one a bit too......red means stop....green means go....and yellow means hurry up because something better is about to come on TV

Now if Joe wanted a guarantee to get some every single day he could invest in Exhibit C.....the bra made off 1 million dollars worth of diamonds. It may not be comfortable but man is it pretty.....and I keep telling him that my boobs are priceless.

In my search for awesome bras I did come across a few that were not so awesome. They were so not awesome that most I could not blog about while at work in fear of my boss walking by while I'm posting the pic of the bra made out of bacon. Use your imagination kids.....bacon is yummy.....but not raw and not in a size DD.

Here is one that I CAN share.....but what can I say about this bra other than it is just fowl.....hardee har har

Now if you are like me and you just dream of living in a world where letting the girls fly is acceptable (hmmm, I would SO be an excellent member of a tribe somewhere.....oh wait, no computer....never mind)then you can use your old bras for more creative ideas. Such as a place to plant your garden

Or make a pretty handbag out of it

I had a few other ideas that did not come with pictures so I will leave you to your imagination.....sling shot bra, goose choking bra....and my personal favorite.....lasso a hot vampire bra

The possibilities are ENDLESS ladies (and drag queens). Don't let your bra suffocate you.....free the girls and free the world.......

Another cartoon that makes me want to claw my eyes out

I must apologize to those of you who were not expecting to come here and cry out of sweetness instead of laughter. I do have a soul, every now and then it pushes it's way out. Have no fear though, I have pushed that part down for at least a good few weeks. I now return you to your regularly scheduled sarcasm.

Last month I told you about These guys....and how much they drive me nuts. I have to say SORRY to my sister in law Gina because I do know that THESE guys allow her much time to clean, do laundry, ect and I do love my sweet nephew a lot and he pretty much lives for them---so I will give them a reprieve and instead tell you about another show that makes me want to drown myself in Merlot.

mmmmm, Merlot.

oops, got distracted. okay. Let's talk about Max and Ruby. You know them? Good. If not.....let me tell you about them.

This is Max and Ruby. They are brother and sister. Who apparently have no parents. This is the first thing that bugs me about them. Where in the hell are their mom and dad?? I have seen a big old family picture of them on the wall but parents are no where to be found. Hello, Child Protective Services? They do have a grandma who lives up the street but I don't think she would be much help in case of emergency.

Ruby.....big sister Ruby. I kind of want to punch her in the face. Apparently since she is in charge in the house with no parents she has to kick "bossy big sister" to an entirely new level. All she does for 30 minutes is bitch at Max about what he is doing, not doing, supposed to be doing or already did. Really Ruby....since you are already in charge of bathing your brother with no parents around will it really kill you to let him eat ice cream in the tub? And please, get your ass OUT of his sandbox when he wants to play in it. It is NOT you and your equally annoying friend Louise's personal beach. Ruby is in charge of grocery shopping and feeding her brother. In my house that means Pierce would be feeding Mallory pop tarts 3 times a day.

Max----USE YOUR WORDS. While he is fairly cute in a mischievous sort of way his use of ONE WORD over and over in the same episode tap dances on my last nerve. Maybe if you TOLD your sister to piss off (don't forget to say please) she would leave you alone to play with your ROCKET. Yep....a ROCKET for a 3 year old.

Thankfully my monkeys have moved past their love for Max and Ruby...they have since given me other shows to hate but I will save those for another day. Yes, I know I could turn the T.V. off but every now and then I like to do things like go to the bathroom alone or refill my wine glass.

on an unrelated note.....which one of you can tell me how to make a link with more than one word...I know to post the link and highlight it and then retype what you want it to say but as soon as you hit the space bar for another word it no longer links it.

Things That Chap Me Arse

Since it IS St Patty's day I went with the Irish titled version of "Little Pet Peeves Tuesday" hosted by the lovely Melissa over at Mama-Loco. Since Melissa is one of my real life besties I suppose I had better respond to her gentle request on her blog that I participate in her Tuesday game. Please note that I am typing this list of TOTAL randomness in my head in the voice of Desmond from lost (brotha) in keeping with my Irish theme.

First off.....MAN is it annoying when someone shouts you out on their blog and pressures you into coming up with things that piss you off. I am SUUUUUCH a happy person (thank you meds) that actually being forced to go into a dark place and make myself angry....on purpose....pisses me off. mmmmmmmWAH.

My dryer. You know, the one in my house. It is really on my list these days. It keeps shrinking my clothes. damn dryer

People who begin speaking the SECOND I pick up the phone at work without first offering me a hello, their name, screw you, nothing.

The chick at daycare who always sound like a 5 year old tattle tale when I pick up my kid. I have not seen him for 8 hours....don't greet me with "Pierce had trouble listening at circle time today" Trust me, I know he is not an angel, I'm his mother. Let me hug him and THEN tell me if he has been a pain in the arse.

Target. Yep, the store. These past few days I have been searching in vain for 90210 Season 3 on DVD (the original 90210). Season 3 is by FAR the best what with the whole Brenda/Dylan/Kelly drama. I'm almost finished with season 2 and every Target I have been to (BOTH OF THEM) is sold out of season 3. I had to ORDER it on Amazon and pay shipping. You would think the people who control such things would know that since season 3 is the BEST it is imperative that there be PLENTY on their shelves. Pay attention Target....don't make me switch to Wal-Mart

That's really all I got...If you want to play along with Melissa and have a great vent session go check her out. I will try and do a better job of paying attention to things that piss me off this week.....but like I said....I'm full of sunshine and roses allllll the time. Takes a lot to rattle my chains......

Yo Gabba Gabba.....reason #421 why I drink

For those of you out there that may not have the JOY that is Yo Gabba Gabba in your life......let me ruin that for you now.

Now that I have burned your retinas let me tell you all about this train wreck. This boys and girls is Yo Gabba Gabba.

Every day D.J Lance (the freak show in the skin tight orange jumpsuit) brings his little friends in their radio case to play. He pulls them out and they come alive to teach all the children about eating healthy, being nice to others and how to be safe. Seems innocent right? Well, I am a firm believer that if you slowed the dialog down or even played it backwards that they would be telling the children to do drugs and put the cat in the microwave. They are just THAT freaky.

Let me introduce them.

On the far left we have Muno. He is the one that looks kind of like a sex toy with arms. He tends to act like an asshole and needs to learn manners from the others.

Next to him is Fufa. Like FUPA with an F. And if you don't know what FUPA stands for I am not going to tell you. She is so happy and cheerful that I want to kick her in the face.

Plex is the yellow robot and is the only one that I DON'T want to kick in the face actually.

Broby is the "little green one". He seems to always be the one that needs some sort of guidance

Finally we have Tootie "She likes to have fun" oooooookay.

Throw in a random music act for the super music friend show, Biz Markee who teaches my children how to beat box, and a random C list celebrity to show them a "dancy dance" and you have Yo Gabba Gabba

I remember the day that the Gabba's came into our life. As I stared in horror my children were mesmerized by what could only be described as the Teletubbies on crack. Broby (the green one...are you paying attention?) only ate the pancakes and bacon off of his plate (which we got to see singing and dancing in Broby's stomach) and left behind the fresh fruit....what happened next I have tried to block from my memory but I just cant--folks the fresh fruit CRIED because they were left behind and did not get to go to "the party in the tummy"

While Pierce and Mallory watched I sat in terror because I knew....I just KNEW that they were to become permanent fixtures in our life. This was at least a year ago. I have 18 episodes in my DVR because you just never know which one Mallory will want to be watching that day.

I long for the days of Blue's Clues and Dora........Yo Gabba Gabba makes me want to cut myself.

I did not win the lotto

This is a sad day. This was the day that I was supposed to win the lotto. However my plans have since been thwarted by some asshole in New Jersey. Jealous? Moi?

Yes

See the thing is.....I'm not greedy about it. I would have been willing to SHARE those millions (evident in the fact that I was in on a pool of 97 people here in my office). I would have gladly accepted just ONE of those millions. Heck I would have taken $500,000. Okay, seriously....I would have taken $50,000

I am not under the impression that money buys happiness. Not at all. What money does buy is shoes, purses, a mac Book, makeup, and new wardrobes for myself and my family. THAT buys happiness.

Sure all those millions could buy a kick ass house but unless it came with a kick ass maid and a pool boy that looked like Edward Cullen I really would not be interested anyways.

Really though....I would have been happy just winning enough to pay off my house, cars and that damn student loan that has lingered longer than my knowledge from said degree did.

So screw you personinNewJerseywhowonmymillions. Way to crush my dreams. I suppose I will have to continue to live with my husband/soul mate who I adore and the 2 best kids in the world in a house that does NOT have a wine cellar.....without my macBook. Or pool boy.

sigh

I don't do serious often but I need to get this out

I know that bad stuff happens all around us in the world and I know that it sadly always will. Most of the time news stories to not really "get to me" other then a passing moment where I think that something is just awful.

For some reason the case of "Baby Grace" has torn my heart up today. Today is the day that her evil piece of shit mother was convicted of murdering her beautiful little girl who is the same age as my daughter. She will rot in prison for the rest of her life. I don't know if it is because this family is from Ohio (although this happened in Texas) or if it is because when I see pictures of that beautiful baby I see my own beautiful girl and just ask myself what kind of mother hurts her own child? What kind of monster allows someone to convince them that their sweet baby needs to "learn manners" and that beating her and torturing her to the point of death is the only way to do it? A 2 year old beautiful little girl has lost her life to the hand's of the one person who was supposed to love and protect her above all others.

When I read that Rylie told her mother as she was being beaten that she loved her I sat here in my cubicle and cried tears for a little girl who probably never knew love.

I hope she is sitting in the lap of Jesus right now and does not remember the pain of her short life.

I hope her mother gets her ass kicked in prison every day.

I want to go get my babies and just hold them.

EFF YOU SNOW

This day is starting out to be a big ole bag of suck. I woke up this morning and before I even looked outside I could hear the ice. Super....with hope in my heart I called my company's weather line thinking maybe.....just maybe....we would be closed. Not so much. 2 hour delay. Meanwhile I look at all the other closings on the TV and laugh at the irony that while the Air National Guard does not have to report to work, I do.

I get showered, get the kids up and dressed and leave for work in plenty of time to get the kids to daycare and me to work using my normal "there is snow on the ground" pace of about 20mph.

Yes, that's right....I'm one of THOSE assholes.

While sitting at a red light I go to update my facebook status to something bitchy when I see a co-worker has posted that work is closed. WTF?? I call my boss who confirms that yes indeed, we ARE closed now. While I am truly pleased at this development I would have been even MORE pleased had this been decided....oh a few hours earlier.

On my way back home I realize we will have to stop at the store for milk and wine and I have Helpy McHelperson in the back seat going "Wow Mommy, this is a different day....I have never had breakfast BEFORE school (hey, they feed my kids there) and I have never had to turn around and go back home before"

Little did I know the fun had yet to begin. The driveway has not been shoveled....slid down this morning on my way out. Saying a prayer I hit the gas pedal to see if maybe I would get lucky and coast right up my (uphill) driveway. Wrong again. I get out of the car....do some half ass shoveling to find a nice sheet of ice about 2 inches thick under the snow. SURPRISE!! I go to find the salt container thingy and guess what.....EMPTY. SURPRISE.

I try to break it up as much as I can and get back in the car. Helpy McHelperson and his sister Mouthy McBrat are telling me that I am not doing a good job getting into the garage. Thanks guys, get out and push.

I will be victorious over the driveway. I will. Looking around the garage for something to help me get some traction I see the light.....in the form of a bag of bird seed.

Half a bag later I am THIS close to getting into the garage....cussing in front of my kids (mother of the year) I hit it one last time and barely avoid putting the car into the living room.

The kids cheer.

We are now all back in our jammies. I have already threatened the kids with taking them to school if they don't behave.

Snow and Ice..... Kiss my ass.

Honest Scrap....Thanks Alexis!!

Alexis has bestowed on me the Honest Scrap award! This one comes with the stipulation of coming up with 10 honest things about yourself. I have always prided myself on being a blunt honest person so let's see what I can come up with.

1)I like to keep it old school in 2 areas of my life....reading and Wii playing. I still read V.C Andrews books and Flowers in the Attic is my favorite book. The new books....yeah, they all suck...but I read them anyways. Wii.....I love the play the Wii....but what you don't know is I spend more time playing the old school FIRST Nintendo games that you can download onto the Wii. I love to play Super Mario Brothers and Zelda games. Like a dork.

2)Joe and I met in a blind date scenario. One that I was damn determined to avoid. I met him with my aunt and a group of people that they worked with. I told my aunt over and over before I conceded to meet him that I did not need my aunt to hook me up with a boy. Um. Thanks Aunt Janice.

3)I met some of my very best friends in the world on the Internet. What started on theknot.com turned into another message board where I have been for over 5 years. We only get to see each other once or twice a year but I love these girls like sisters and I can't wait to see them in a few weeks.

4)I slept with a teddy bear until college

5)I have an irrational fear of flying, spiders, tornados and needles.

6)I want one more tattoo really bad and I want it on my foot.

7)I once slept with someone else's boyfriend (an ex of mine)and then lied to her face when she asked me about it. She was not my friend (to say the least) so I did not care.

8)I have a little half brother and sister that I have not seen in over 10 years. They are my dad's other kids and they are 13 and 15. Last I knew they lived with their slut bag mom who is my dad's ex. I wish I could find them but would have no clue where to start since I also do not have a relationship with my father.

9) I cry when I'm mad. It pisses me off because I feel like it is a sign of weakness when really it is a sign of me wanting to punch you in the face.

10)I have much love for my mini van. Screw you if you think it is lame.

Now, as far as passing this along goes....this one has been getting passed around a lot here in blogland so I'm going to keep it on my shelf for awhile. Thanks Alexis....this was fun

Mother of the Year and a Photo Tag

Upon leaving the house today I was quite disgusted to see that it was snowing. Not just a little....tons of fluffy most people think it is beautiful snow. See, the problem is I HATE snow. Hate it. With a passion. I know I don't have a lot to complain about because we did not get much and know some of you out there in blogland have had to dig your cars out of your driveway. Even just an inch of snow is enough to turn me into one of those assholes who drive 20mph on the highway. I know. Most of you hate people like me.

After I slid down my driveway barely missing the trash thingy at the bottom and spun my wheels out to make it up the road (really, do I really need a little light on my dashboard telling me I am sliding....duh) the kids and I were on our way. 25 seconds later I remember that my ID to get me on the base where my kids go to daycare is in my gym bag. Sigh. Being that I pretty much never go to the gym (which is also on base, and free so I really should go) I forgot to take it out of my bag and put it back in the car.

Here is where Mother of the Year comes in.....of course I cannot get up my driveway and I'm not about to drag the kids out of the car and back into the house just to run in and grab my badge. I'm also not about to leave my kids in a running car on the side of the road....come on now, I don't REALLY want someone to take them. What I did do is turn the car off (making my children suffer the agony of being in a car with no DVD playing) Lock them in and tell them mommy had to run inside quickly and I would be right back. I'm sure they enjoyed the entertainment of mommy almost busting her ass on the driveway both up and back down.

Pass me my Mother of the Year trophy. I always swore I would never leave my kids in the car but today, the forces of the universe won.

On to the photo tag---I have actually been waiting on this one to come my way. I was photo tagged by fellow Buckeye mommyofm's to do the following:

1) Choose the 4th folder where you store your pictures on your computer

2) Select the 4th picture in the folder

3) Explain the picture

4) Tag 4 people to do the same

So here we have....................



Pierce and a school friend. This was in May of 2007 so he would have been 3 and a half....this park is right up the street from us and the kids' daycare does their family picnic there each year. I wish I had a good explanation for the random look on his face (mine is the one in the hat) but sadly....he probably just heard that he had to stop playing and eat lunch or something. And that hat.....It was size 12-18 months and it took me a loooooong time to convince him that it did not fit anymore. So...all this time waiting on this tag to come my way and the photo was not really any fun.

I'm going to tag
Matt at My Side of the Story
Kelly at A Day in the Chapin Life--it will give her something to do and she needs to make some blog friends
Susan in the Psych Ward
and Sarah

Have fun kids. Oh, one more thing before I hit the button.....Francesca told me I should make a perma link to my Tale of the Goose and the Queen. I'm going to go ahead and do that since I am quite convinced I will never ever come up with something so fabulous again in my entire life

Cammie.....with a C like Cat.....

Really.....is it REALLY that hard to get? My name is not Renesmee for pete's sake (inserting Twilight remarks whenever I can) 33 years ago when my father picked my name out of a book he was reading I don't think he knew the lifetime of repetition I would endure. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE my name. For the most part it is very unique (save the OTHER "Kami" I went to school with who almost got my ass kicked once....no I did NOT sleep with your boyfriend thankyouverymuch that would have been the OTHER Kami). There were times when I was younger that I longed to be a Jessica or a Jennifer....those bitches could ALWAYS find their name on a key chain...or on those pretty plaques that tell you what each letter of your name stands for....CAMMIE on the other hand....not so much. As an adult in the work place I have THIS conversation every day

"Hello this is Cammie"

"Tammy?"

"No Cammie, with a C"

"Tammy?"

"No, Cammie with a C...like Cat (or CANTYOUHEARMEASSHOLE)

"Ohhh, Carrie"

"yes, this is Carrie, how can I help you?"

I have also answered to Connie, Pammie, and once...CARMIE....WTF??

My favorite conversations are the ones where the person hearing my name is just baffled.....like I just told them that my name was Ima Crackwhore. I actually had someone respond upon hearing my name with a "huh" not "huh?" more like a sound like he was pondering whether or not I was telling the truth.

Having my name spelled correctly the first time? Forget it. Do you know how many ways there are to spell Cammie/Cami/Kami/Kammy/Cammy/Kammie? And those are just the spellings that you can actually find in the baby books....forget the parents that want to make it all weird like Kaimi.

In an effort to have MY name on a pretty plaque saying what it means (and not doing it myself...because what is the fun in that?) I enlisted the help of my good friend Erin....It is not a plaque....but it will do

Faithful annual scrapbook Camp attendee!

Brutally honest And loyal friend!

Enjoys a bottle of Moscato, a good book and a nap!

adores her kids despite the fact they Make her anxious!

Cannot go anywhere unless her cell phone Is attached to her hip!

A fierce love and addiction for all things Edward Cullen!

And it's over.

Seems like there is all of this build up to Christmas and then it is over so fast and you are just buried in tore up boxes, paper, and those damn wires that THEY you know, the evil toy people feel the need to put on every single toy. With TAPE over the wires? I mean really....do they think that someone is going to steal the toys right out of the boxes in the middle of Target? Or do THEY think it is fun to make parents spend an hour trying to get a transformer out of a box while the kid freaks out because it is taking to long? Hate those wires. Must invest in one of these next year....

Anyways.....we had a wonderful Christmas Eve and day. The kids were happy with their stash, I was thrilled with mine. Joe came through as he does every year and I have an awesome new camera lens, 7 more bottles of wine and an Archivers and iTunes gift card to play with. Here are a few of our Christmas pics....tons more on the kids site --you know since this is MY blog.

Christmas Eve at my mom's....she decorates her tree in all snowman complete with severed head of Frosty on top.

Christmas morning at our house before Joe and I declared war on the wires....

Yes, my baby is small enough to fit into her baby crib.

Ready to head off to Joe's parents'

I am back at work today while Joe is home with the kids....and the wires....have fun honey! Don't take a finger off trying to get the toys out.

Friendship

Friendship has been on my mind a lot this week. I have always been blessed with the best of friends no matter what part of my life I have been in. I have also been lucky to take those friends with me throughout my life. I have taken my friend Ruth through my entire life since 7th grade, picked up my awesome college friends, my fabulous work friends that make a 40 day work week bearable, and of course my BFF mommy friends. The point to all of this?? This past week brought out the true colors in someone who I THOUGHT was a close friend. Trust and loyalty are so important to me in friendships. I am a LOYAL friend who would do pretty much anything for my girlfriends. Your secrets? I keep em, you need a shoulder to cry on, here it is. You need me to kill someone....oh wait....let's not get out of control here. Is it to much that I expect the same out of my friends? I know that girlfriends have their squabbles...I'm not so unrealistic that I think that we wont have our problems....I will however NOT stand for bull shit and backstabbing. I am no longer in high school and I hated that crap then too. It is sad when you realize that someone you truly loved was fooling you behind your back. Fool me once...shame on you....fool me twice....shame on me. So, for all of you who are my TRUE girlfriends....the one's I laugh with, cry with, and hope to grow old with....thank you for sharing my life with me!! I hope you know that you have a true and loyal friend in me and I'm so blessed to have you all in my life.

Pet Peeves

I can go from zero to SUPER annoyed in about 2 seconds. Not many things set me off like this but I do have a few hot buttons.

Such as.

People who laugh for no reason at all. There are 2 ladies I work with that are NOTORIOUS for this. Drives me bat shit crazy. They will transfer a call and laugh when they give me the name of the person on the phone. Ask how they are and they are fine with a giggle at the end. Seriously....why are you so nervous? Do you have a body in your car?

My husband answering a questions with the sound "eh" I asked you a question that requires a yes or no response...do NOT make a noise that sounds somewhere in between...unless of course you just want me to pick the answer I like best....."But honey you said YES when I asked if I could go shopping"

My mother....it is safe to post this because she really only reads when I send her the link to a really good post....My mother has a habit (that I don't think she is aware of) of bringing my sister up every time I do something that she wishes that my sister would or could do...it makes me feel like crap. For example...most recently my Christmas cards that I put together from Shutterfly..."those are So cute. sigh. I wish L would do something like that" or when we take the kids somewhere...."sigh....I wish L would do that with her kids" Okay, when you say this to me you make me feel guilty and then I get pissed.

Empty wine bottles. MAN that chaps my ass.

Thinking about the fact that Stephenie Meyer may or may not finish Midnight Sun. Gets my panties all in a bunch whenever I think about not ever reading Edward's version of Twilight.

Oh here is a good one....at work.....people who call me and immediately start chirping my ear off without telling me what their name is....or pretend like they are the ONLY person that I am dealing with that day.

I know there is something I am forgetting.....yeah, forgetting things gets on my nerves too....

What are your pet peeves?

Is it just me or.....

Are these parents that are using the "safe haven law" to drop of their children that they just cant parent for discipline reasons taking total advantage of this system? The safe haven law to my understanding is meant to be for women who want to give their NEWBORNS up for adoption in mostly anonymous situations in lieu of leaving them somewhere to die. I picture the teenage girls who hid their pregnancies and want to give their child a safe place without letting anyone know what happened. What I don't picture is mother's who have raised their children into their teenage years only to decide that they can no longer handle them and just want to give up and get rid of them. Maybe I am being naive seeing as my biggest discipline problems at the parenting stage that I am at is getting them not to snatch toys from each other but I just cannot see EVER being at a point with my children where instead of getting them help I would just give up and leave them not knowing what kind of circumstances that would lead them to. Yet it is happening all over the place. Seems like I have seen numerous stories where this is happening on the news....and the parents want to remain anonymous.....of course they do.....

Yes, I am seeing the Twilight movie at one today. I'm sure I will update on that later.