This Year I Will Gain More Weight

Yep. That's right. My New Years Resolution for 2010 is to gain more weight. I'm going to get Jerry Springer Show fat. I am not going to exercise one bit and my meals will all be fried and come with a side of cheese sauce. Expect to see me being cut out of my house on the Discovery Channel later this year.

Why such an awesome goal for this year? Why not the typical "I am going to lose weight and get in shape" goal that most of us make, and that I have made damn near every year since I graduated college?

Because I am smarter than myself. That's why. Each year I make that typical lose weight/eat better BS resolution. And each year I proceed to do the exact opposite. So since my SELF is so determined to outwit myself...you following me here? This year I'm going to fool myself into losing weight and working out by telling myself that I want to get fat(ter). Genius right? I don't know why mySELF did not come up with this years ago.

I've already started my trickery. Knowing that it is my goal to gain weight I went to the gym yesterday for a swim. Today I had a 190 calorie muffin for breakfast and got my starbucks in the non fat variety. So there self.

Who is with me here people?

Remember that holiday between halloween and Christmas?

It's called THANKSGIVING people. Do you remember that holiday? Because a lot of people do not. Namely people who run department stores, grocery stores, Halmark stores and yes, some of our neighbors.

I need to eat one of these......

Before I see any of these.........

I loooove Christmas. Love it. It is my all time favorite holiday. I drive Joe nuts with my need to listen to Christmas caroles non stop through the month of December. But I am driven to madness on Nov 1st when I walk into a store and see Christmas decorations out next to the Halloween clearance decor. I put my tree up Thanksgiving weekend pretty much every year. AFTER THANKSGIVING!!! First Thanksgiving disappears....soon it will be Halloween and before we know it there will be NO 4th of July.....the candy canes and tree ornaments will start showing up after Easter!!

I have seen Christmas lights up this week. I passed some that were ON tonight. There is one house in my neighborhood that has their lights up and a damn pumpkin still sitting on their porch.

Those of you who are not new to my blog know that I hate large birds that can be cooked and served for dinner....but not the turkey.....RESPECT the turkey!! After that please decorate your homes ala Clark W Griswold with my blessing. And please take the lights down promptly on Jan 2nd

Who missed me?

Not Me Monday

Good morning! I hope that all had a fabulous Easter weekend! We were fairly busy and since I forgot to pay attention to what I did NOT do all last week this is likely to be uneventful. Please remember to keep MckMama and Stellan in your prayers, she is still with him in the hospital.

Here are some Easter NOT ME's

Sat night I did NOT threaten Mallory by telling her if she did not go to sleep that the Easter bunny would not come. Mallory has a tendancy to call for me at LEAST 3 times each night after I put her to bed. I would never threaten my baby in that way when she really just wants more snuggle time. NOT ME.

With thoughts of Easter eggs in her head Mallory did NOT go right to sleep without making me come up there 3 times.

I did NOT then think what other way that I could use such a ploy to get her to go to bed.

After the kids were all snug in there beds Joe and I did NOT go through the candy from that day's hunt and put some of it in their baskets.

Easter morning we were NOT woken up by Pierce flying into our bedroom freaking out because the power had just gone out. Surely this would NOT happen on yet ANOTHER holiday. We did NOT have to pack up all of our stuff for the day and head to my mom's early to shower there.

I did NOT have 2 of the cutest kids EVER dressed up looking super innocent.

In her beautiful dress, tights and her hair all pretty Mallory did NOT spend most of the day jumping on a trampoline with the boys.

My kids did NOT go flipping mad crazy over the egg hunt and get 35 more eggs filled with candy. Each. Joe and I will NOT be hiding most of it to avoid cavities.

Happy Monday!!

PS....I am NOT ready to kill blogger because I cant get my paragraphs to format. STOOOOPID blogger.....

I am an open book

Thanks for playing Q&A with me. I got some good questions out of you! So, without further ado.....it's time to play What do you want to know about Cammie.......

Kami wants to know---"How did you choose the names of your children?" Actually, we had BOTH of our children picked out before they were even conceived. I had Pierce's name in the back of my mind before I even met Joe. It is my mother's maiden name. Had he been a girl we were going with Anna after Joe's grandmother. Joe picked out Mallory's name from guess where......"what will we do baby....without us......sha na na na na" Had she been a boy her name would have been Jack.

JananaBee asks....."Are you going to have any more children?" Well Janna let me put it to you this way.....Joe is no longer capable of knocking me up. I on the other hand can have another baby anytime I want to also have a divorce.

Crazy girl BeeAndRose had a few questions for me...."how much wine does it take to get you seriously wasted these days" Well Ms BeeAndRose my answer might surprise you.....I actually can cap a nice buzz on 2 glasses of wine. Based on my antics of my Jersey Train Wreck weekend to get seriously wasted I need 2 xanax and a full bottle of wine. She also wanted to know "The weirdest thing you have ever done while drinking wine?" I stole a very large plant from BW3 once in college (this is a wings type eating place) Very large. Walked right out the door with it. "Are you a cheap wino or do you lean toward pricier wines????" For the most part I am an equal opportunity wine drinker. I stay away from the likes of Boone's Farm though. "red, white...which do you prefer...box or bottle?????" Ahhh the good old days of boxed wine....or as I liked to call it.....a party in a box. I'm mostly a red drinker but I also like white.

TheBookKitten asks...."...how would you react when you finally got some sleep in your house?" Since she is new to my blog I wont tell her that me getting some sleep would misalign the cosmos and thus make the world disappear like the island on Lost. Kitten....truth be told, I would probably implode.

Yaya wants to know What my favorite color is and how I met my husband. Well yaya....I can't tell you my favorite color.....that is WAY to personal. However I will tell you about meeting Joe....I had just gotten dumped by some asshole when my aunt decided to start nagging me to meet this guy she worked with. I kept telling her I did not need my AUNT to hook me up with a boy thankyouverymuch. Finally....to shut her up humor her I decided to meet her out with a bunch of other people including Joe. We were engaged 7 months later. Um, thanks Aunt Janice.

Jineen asks...."When did I get my Uggs and what kind do I have" Joe got them for me last Dec for my bday---I have the kind that give your feet orgasms when you put them on. I mean...I have THESE ones

She also wanted to know "Where is the craziest place I have ever done the deed" That would be the library that I worked at in college. oh the irony of the book loving girl getting busy in the library....WAIT.......this story is not true at all. I saved myself for marriage. uh huh. sure did. "Would you like to write a book? What kind?" I would like to. I would have NO idea how to do it. Believe it or not I would like to write a children's book. And why oh WHY could I have not been the person who thought up Brown Bear Brown Bear....that book is SO not rocket science. Jineen also asks if I enjoy celebrating the holidays and if they include wine...... Yes, I LOVE Christmas, Thanksgiving, ect. I love when my entire family gets together. And yeah, there is generally a bottle of wine in my purse somewhere.....

Bee and Rose is back.....this time with "Why did you choose your wedding date? Was it based on time of year? Time off work?" We knew we wanted to get married in the fall sometime. I picked Oct because it usually has the best fall weather.

TheWifeORiley throws in...."Describe the worst trip you have been on" Thankfully I have always had great vacations (knocking on wood here) However....back in 2000 I had to go to my companies corporate office for a week of training. This normally would not have been a bad thing...I had been the year before and had a decent time. This week however....sucked. I wound up with some random roommate from another branch....so I spent a week in a hotel room with someone I had never met (and it was not even scandalous....) PLUS we had a tornado one night....so we were ushered sans bra and makeup in the middle of the night with all of these co-workers into the hotel hallways. Good times that trip.

Francesca at 3BayBChicks wants to know how my parents came up with my name. There is no excitement behind this at all. My dad saw it in a book he was reading. My middle name is after my grandmother.

In keeping with the "Year of the Hula" Hula wants to know what I have done for ME lately. Well, I took a couple of girly trips in the last 6 months, plus some scrap booking here locally. Mostly I just try and get a little book time in every day

Alexis wants to know my most embarrassing moment. Well I actually have TWO. One that had the potential to really suck, and one that DID really suck. Before I started working where I do full time I spent 3 summers as an intern. My very first summer was back when we still had to wear panty hose.....one afternoon I came out of the bathroom with my hose stuck in the back of my dress. HAWT. Thankfully the ONLY person who saw me and thus came to my rescue (Jodi I know you read...do you remember this?) was my friend Jodi who YEARS later would become my roommate. Bless you Jodi. God forbid anyone random see my panties. Without having bought me a drink first. Fast forward a few years....I am late for class in one of the biggest lecture halls on campus. This classroom has steps that are far apart...you know....one step, walk a few feet, another step. Got the visual? Good. Now picture me falling down one of the steps. In the middle of the lecture. The professor actually had to control himself so that he did not laugh at me. Awesome.

Heather asks me...."How long have you been scrap booking? Who is your favorite scrapbooker (famous one, that is)? Have you ever gone on a scrappin' retreat? If yes, where?" I actually started scrap booking before I knew what it was. I'm talking slap some construction paper down in an album with sticky pages and cut some pictures out to add. I did not get serious about it until about 2001. I don't really know that many famous scrappers so I will have to go with YOU.....you Heather are my favorite famous scrapbooker....and you are famous because of the 86 followers that read my blog who know that you made me a kick ass book for my girls weekend. I have been on a few retreats.....here in Ohio in Amish country with some friends...we stayed in a beautiful hotel with about 4 wineries nearby....thus my fondness for "scrapdrinking"

And finally.....a new blog friend Tooj wants to know the funniest conversation that I have had with Pierce. Those of you who know me here in the real world know that this is an every day occurrence with him. One of my all time favorites though had to be regarding an old hat of his. Please take note of the following:

I have no clue what he is doing in this picture but it is the best example of him in his Gap hat. Please note that it is about a second away from popping right off his head. He is probably late 3 early 4 in this picture and he wore this hat EVERYWHERE for a good 2 years. One day I was trying to explain to him that it no longer fit. The conversation went something like this.

"Hey bud, come here...I want to show you something. points to the size tag inside his hat that says 18-24 months See this tag right here? This tag says that this hat fits you if you are TWO years old. You are not two years old are you??"

Pierce points to the OTHER tag inside his hat....the one I never cut out that says "please remove before wearing...I think it was the security tag "See this tag right here mommy? This tag says it fits" He then promptly put his hat on and walked away from me.

WHEW. That took a loooooong time. If you decide to play this on your blog, please let me know so I can come ask you some questions too!!

Not Me Monday

Is it really Monday again already? Last week flew by so fast but I am sure there were lots of things that I did NOT do. hmmmm.

I did NOT wrap gifts at the last minute. That would have been stressful and unnecessary

I did NOT spend hours mumbling under my breath and cursing toy packaging. The joy in my children's faces when they beheld each new toy was enough to just make me smile with glee.

I did NOT ask Joe to put the tree away the day after Christmas telling him I was done with it. The kids love the tree, therefor I also did NOT tell him to put it away this week while they were at daycare

I did NOT drink 3 mimosas on Christmas day at the in laws before dinner even started. I love my in laws (you know I do Gina) but that many people in one place just makes me want to have a beverage. Or 3

I did NOT watch A Christmas Story for the first time EVER. You know, because everyone in the free world has seen that movie at least 100 times because it is a Christmas classic and it is on 24 straight hours and blah blah blah

I did NOT ask an employee at Lowe's if it was legal to murder my children right there in the paint department. Why would I do that when they were just being so GOOD and LOVING to each other. With their feet.

That is all for now. My brain is all muddled due to the fact that I did NOT forget to bring cold medicine to work, therefor I do NOT feel like crap and just want to put my head down and take a nap.

And it's over.

Seems like there is all of this build up to Christmas and then it is over so fast and you are just buried in tore up boxes, paper, and those damn wires that THEY you know, the evil toy people feel the need to put on every single toy. With TAPE over the wires? I mean really....do they think that someone is going to steal the toys right out of the boxes in the middle of Target? Or do THEY think it is fun to make parents spend an hour trying to get a transformer out of a box while the kid freaks out because it is taking to long? Hate those wires. Must invest in one of these next year....

Anyways.....we had a wonderful Christmas Eve and day. The kids were happy with their stash, I was thrilled with mine. Joe came through as he does every year and I have an awesome new camera lens, 7 more bottles of wine and an Archivers and iTunes gift card to play with. Here are a few of our Christmas pics....tons more on the kids site --you know since this is MY blog.

Christmas Eve at my mom's....she decorates her tree in all snowman complete with severed head of Frosty on top.

Christmas morning at our house before Joe and I declared war on the wires....

Yes, my baby is small enough to fit into her baby crib.

Ready to head off to Joe's parents'

I am back at work today while Joe is home with the kids....and the wires....have fun honey! Don't take a finger off trying to get the toys out.

Merry Christmas!!!!

Twas the night before Christmas.....

Christmas Eve has always been my favorite day of the year. When I was younger, it was the only time where my entire family was together at one house. I have 13 cousins. My mom is one of 7 kids. To say the least Christmas Eve was always rather chaotic. It was a WONDERFUL chaotic. Us kids probably drove our parents nuts. With 14 grandchildren the the floor around the tree was covered with gifts from our grandparents, aunts and uncles. We would complain wait patiently through dinner to open gifts....a process that destroyed the living room in about 10 minutes flat and then be told by the grown ups to go play. My best memories are from the years when I was probably between 8-12. My cousin L and I would do whatever we could to avoid our little sisters because clearly THEY were the most annoying people to walk the earth. We would find some area in the house to try and hide which was usually would not last too long before moms would make us include those darn little sisters. Fast forward a few years and there was a new baby cousin to love and fight over....L and I always tried to snatch her up and again....hide from those little sisters. The older we got the more the dynamic changed....some older cousins moved away and we did not see them on Christmas Eve. It was always still so much fun. Fast forward a few more years...I would be home from college for Christmas Eve.... once again a totally new dynamic....my cousin L who I love so much had made some bad choices in her life and she was not around to avoid those little (teen aged) sisters with. In the last few years things have taken an entirely new direction. 14 cousins no longer celebrate Christmas Eve together because we have mostly all grown and started our own families....that baby I used to cart around will be turning 18 in a few months. Now the presents are around my mom's tree for HER grandchildren. My son is the one who will be avoiding his little sister on Christmas Eve....after he suffers the TORTURE of being forced to eat dinner before opening presents and being shooed away. Now there are 5 cousins who hopefully will grow up to know that Christmas Eve is the one night they can always count on being together and making those same memories that I had growing up. I really hope that it means as much to them as it did to me.

Dear Joe, I mean....Santa

There are some things that I really want need this Christmas and I thought that if I took the time to spell it out here in plain sight that perhaps I would wake up on Christmas morning a happy girl. I know that most of my gift requests are a lot little on the pricey side but I have been a reallllllly good girl this year so I'm pulling out all the stops.

I'm going to start right at the top of the "I know there is no way in hell I will get this" list and work down.

This Christmas I would love my very own:

Santa, it appears that the husband and I have some issues sharing a laptop. Yes, I am aware that we have both a laptop AND a desktop...but we are both too lazy to go to the other room....really Santa...it would be good for our relationship to be TOGETHER while surfing the Internet and watching TV instead of doing this from separate rooms. I know we have thus far been a PC family Santa, but I have so many friends who enjoy the iChat and this HAS to be a reason to switch to a MAC.

Something else on my Christmas list this year....

Santa, I work my ass off preserving my kids memories in photos. This truly is a gift that would just keep on giving. It also would be nice to have a photography class to go along with that...again, just thinking of the family.

Speaking of memory preservation....you know I have a bit of a soft spot for all things scrapbooking...and it is possible that I have an addiction to embellishments of all kinds. In fact...it would be safe to say that I need a little organization to my scrapbook supplies. Fear not though, I have found the PERFECT solution to my disorganization...

This is the clip it up organizer Joe Santa. It comes in a two tiered version as well....and you can find it at Archivers at Easton....in case your elves could not make it.

I know that this list is a bit much....and possibly unrealistic so, in case you were looking for something that would NOT cause us to have to forclose on our home.....I always can be bribed into happiness with

and

and let's not forget.....


or if you can possibly swing it....

Thanks for taking the time to read my Christmas letter Joe Santa. I hope you have a safe trip around the world.

Weekend recap

This weekend went by entirely too fast and was pretty much void of grown up activities. My cold is still in full force and I would much rather have stayed home and washed down cold pills with Chardonnay but what is a mommy supposed to do?

I do want to preface this by saying that Pierce came into our room at 6:01 this morning and proudly announced that he waited till the clock said 6 at the FRONT to wake us up. Next project...move to 7.

Yesterday was my office's annual children's Christmas party. They do a really realllllly good job with this. The "Santa" that we are assigned to (who are employees and not Pervy Mall Santas) will usually email you asking what they should bring up with your kids (transformers/Mickey Mouse) to you know...keep it real. You also are assigned a time so you don't have to wait in line with other snot nosed kids like when you see Pervy Mall Santa.

So, let's take a trip down memory lane to LAST year's Christmas party.


I think it is safe to say that Mallory was not impressed. Mother of the Year that I am however I threw her up there anyways to get my picture. Scrapbook moms don't screw around when it comes to must have shots like Santa visits.

Back to this year. I was flying solo since Joe had to work this weekend....Mallory has been somewhat interested in Santa this year so I had hopes that maybe I would not need to feel like a child abuser.

SUCCESS! Fritos in no way paid for this advertising.

There was also a guy there called Iguana Bob, or Rob (can you tell I paid attention?) that had all sorts of nasty things like a big ass millipede, a tarantula a tiny little alligator....and no iguana. The kids thought he was pretty cool.

After the party we had to head to a birthday party for Pierce's girlfriend (remember...no nap for me yesterday) While we were there we were blessed with our first real snow of the year and people lost their damn minds when it came to driving. What should have taken me 20 minutes to get home took me an hour. Oh, and the kicker....the only grown up activity scheduled for the weekend (dinner with Joe's work peeps)was cancelled due to bad roads.

Today we headed out to the base for Joe's Christmas party. I scored a bottle of wine in the gift exchange (you know I never did give Joe the choice to pick a gift....Wife AND Mother of the Year)we hung around in the hanger for awhile letting the kids see a military plane, helicopter and jump on some inflatable stuff and then home we came so I could score that nap (with Mallory) that I missed yesterday. Tonight after the kids go to bed, Joe and I are going to watch Stepbrothers (funniest movie EVER) and get some Thai takeout and maybe I will crack open that bottle of wine...okay, probably.

The Santa Dilemma

Oh the things that I did not ever think about before becoming a parent. When I was little Santa always came and we were pretty much always happy with what he brought. I'm not sure at what age I stopped believing in Santa but even after I did I had a little sister so I had to play the game. We did not get presents from our parents, Christmas gifts came from Santa. Now don't get me wrong, we were raised to know that Christmas is really to celebrate the birth of Jesus but still, every Christmas we were up at the crack of dawn....sometimes earlier thanks to said little sister to see what Santa had brought. Now I AM Santa. But this Santa knows that sadly not all little boys and girls get to experience the joy of coming down those stairs to see what has been left because they come from families that may not be able to afford Christmas. Or even children that churches do those Christmas boxes for in other countries that have nothing. The kids' daycare even has a toy drive for families that may need help this Christmas. My thoughts are rambling here but my point is I'm just not sure how to explain this to Pierce. I want my children to know the magic of Christmas that I had as a child but I also want them to understand that there are less fortunate families out there and we need to have compassion for them. To a 5 year old though he is just going to wonder why Santa does not bring them gifts. I know that the easy answer is just to have most of the gifts come from Joe and I and have Santa just do a few things....but I'm a stickler for tradition.....I want them to have Christmas like my brother, sister and I did.

sigh. I guess I don't know what the answer is. I wish they could just stay innocent forever and not have to know that there is so much sadness out there, and not even just at Christmas time.

yeah for my first rambling post that may not even make sense.

A Christmas meme for the first of December!

Okay, so I wanted to do a meme.....and if I tag you below you better play!!! Post this on your blog, answer and then tag 5 other people.....ready....GO

1) Wrapping paper or gift bags? wrapping paper

2) Real tree or artificial Artificial, real ones are messy...I can spray pine scent in the house if I want it that badly

3)When do you put up the tree? Usually Thanksgiving weekend

4)When do you take the tree down? within a few days of Christmas

5)Do you like eggnog? barf

6) Favorite gift received as a child? My Cabbage Patch doll twins....there names were Krissy and Irma...really....Irma

7)Hardest person to buy for? JOE

8) Easiest person to buy for? my mom, she always tells me what to get her

9)Do you have a nativity scene? No, but I wish I did

10)Worst Christmas gift you ever received? My mom got me a girdle the Christmas that Pierce was 6 weeks old...and I had post partum depression.....yeah, not a good gift

11)Favorite Christmas Movie? Does Charlie Brown Christmas count?

12)Favorite Christmas song? Carol of the Bells

13)Travel at Christmas or stay home? Does a 20 minute drive to Dublin count?

14)Angel

15)Favorite ornament theme or color? no theme, but like I posted below, Joe and I like to get a new ornament each time we go somewhere on vacation

I am going to tag.....

Megan

Amy

Kelly

Melissa

and Casey Casey, I hope you don't mind the tag....I need to hit outside my circle of friends so THEY have someone left to tag!

Happy Holidays everyone!

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree....

The kids, Joe and I put up the tree last night, and all of the lights on the house Griswald style. So far we have the best decorated house on the street!

I love the ornaments that Joe and I have collected over the time we have been together. We get a new ornament every time we go somewhere on vacation. This is the first new one that we got this year....bought over Easter weekend when we were on a cruise

Over the summer on our trip to the timeshare and our first visit to the Biltmore Estate

This one is from our honeymoon to Rivera Maya

And this...one of my favorites from when we took The Boy and went to New Orleans when he was almost one

From the best family vacation ever last May--Cinderella's castle

I have saved a few "gems" from when I was little, I think I made this hot mess in first grade

Can you guess how old this ornament is?

While I am very happy to have the Christmas tree up, Im not so thrilled about having to yell at the kids (and the cats) to leave it alone for the next month.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I hope you all have a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving.....take some time today in all of the craziness that will be family get togethers to remember what you have to be thankful for in your life.

Im thankful part deux: or, The Sarcastic Version...

I am thankful for grapes.....and fermentation. Im thankful for red and white grapes and for blending of the two, I do not discriminate....I am thankful for all grapes.

I am thankful for scrapbook stuff.....and for the fact that I dont think Joe really has any idea how much money I have put into "preserving our memories", I am thankful for Archivers for having the best scrapbook stuff with which to preserve those memories. I am thankful that I miraculously seem to know what to do with all of this scrapbook stuff seeing as I seem to have missed the athletic, musical, or other talent genes that my brother and sister have.

I am thankful for my iPod....for giving me hours of entertainment at work in both the audio and video variety.

I am thankful for my Wii, and thankful for the fact that The Boy really cant play all that well so I dont have to share much

I am thankful for day care being open on Friday so that Joe and I can have a day together without having to wipe anyone's butt

I am thankful for a teacher at that same day care who is determined to have The Princess potty trained by the end of the year. I wish her luck with that.

I am thankful for Zoloft.....and so is Joe

I am thankful for my stash of unread books.....probably about 50....I love knowing I have my own personal library to pick from

I am thankful for Noggin and the Disney Channel for allowing me to sleep just a little big longer on the couch in the mornings after The Boy and The Princess wake up at dark o clock, and occasionally lets me go to the bathroom without a small person on my lap.

I am thankful for Tivo.....for allowing me to never miss an epidose of 90210, House, Bones, Cold Case, Top Model, Lost or Greek ( I also am apparently thankful for the people who write these shows)

I am thankful to Stephenie Meyer, author of the Twilight series who has given me something new to obsess over since the Harry Potter series ended.

I am thankful for Edward Cullen.... even if he IS a fictional charicter....I am also thankful for Robert Pattinson...my new gimmee (move over Josh Hartnett) who plays him in the movie.....he can bite me anytime he likes.