Awesome or Shagalicious?

Joe and I would love to move. We love our house but we have outgrown it and there are a few demands things that I would really like to have in a house. I would love a bigger yard, one that is kid friendly. Ours is wooded, not much grass can grow and pretty hilly. I would also love a 4th bedroom and a fireplace. But what I really want is a soaking tub. It does not have to be a jacuzzi or anything, just a nice big garden tub that I can chill in with a glass of wine and a good book. And no kids.

I like to go to realtor.com and search out new homes in our area. Our house is not even for sale but it is still fun to dream right. Imagine my total delight when I found a home that defeats the purpose of moving although smaller then our current house has the coolest thing EVER!!

Feast your eyes upon the coolness!!! A soaking tub IN THE BEDROOM!!!! Of course I did make a few slight changes in my mind. It would need a flat screen TV (as indicated) that could play Twilight and a(horribly drawn)wine rack built in so that I would not even have to get out to fill up my glass. Dream come true yes?

So I sent my fabulous find to Joe who proceeds to tell me that it was shagalicious and in no way cool. I tried to point out the pros....if I had a bathtub IN our bedroom he would most likely find me naked more than he does now. Add to that my flat screen playing Twilight and then you have me naked AND ready for action. Add the wine rack....naked and drunk....2 sure ways to get some action. Win Win yes?

I really don't understand his hesitation. Yes he talked some trash about moldy carpet....but DUH...the amount of distance from point a (bath) to point b (bed) would be so minimal that there would be no time for water to GET on the floor. We can buy a bathmat for pete's sake.

Sadly I don't think I will win this one. As cool as a bathtub in my bedroom would be it is a smaller house then what we have now and that just wont work for us. Don't think I wont mention renovations when we DO find our dream home.

Where Is My Alice?

And no, I'm not talking about Alice from Twilight....although having an omniscient sister could be kind of handy too. I want THIS kind of Alice

My friend Lauren sent a list to me yesterday that made me laugh at it's absurdity. It was a list for getting organized and keeping your house clean. It included little chores that if completed every day will keep your house in tip top shape. Those chores include:

Make beds (riiiiiight)
Feed pets (if they are lucky)
Load/Run/Empty dishwasher (I do insist on this)
Sweep kitchen & entryway (umm, every day?)
Clean kitchen sink (does that not happen when you load the dishwasher?)
Clear/Wipe kitchen counters (yes)
Plan / Cook dinner (if by plan you mean order then yes)
Wipe out bathroom sinks (does not happen)
Empty trash (Joe's job)
Do laundry (every day? really?)
Read to children (probably the most important thing ON this list)
Exercise (I climb the steps a few times each day)
Quiet time (really)
Take vitamins/medication (my husband thanks me to do this every day)
Prepare tomorrow's clothing (pull out what is clean and does not need ironed)

Um wow. I barely have time to wipe my ass every day let along make all the beds in my house. Then it tacks on things that you can do each day of the week.

Sunday
___ Change dishcloth/towel
___ Change hand towels in bathrooms
___ Cut/sort/file coupons
___ Plan menus
___ Make shopping/errand list
___ Pamper yourself
Monday
___ Inventory refrigerator contents and plan meals around leftovers
___ Vacuum main/public rooms or 1st floor
___ De-clutter/organize desk
___ Dust office
___ Clean toilets
___ Replenish stock of toilet paper in bathrooms
Tuesday
___ Change dishcloth/towel
___ Change hand towels in bathrooms
___ Clean bathtubs and shower
___ Clean bathroom mirrors
___ Clean out purse/wallet
___ De-clutter/organize master bedroom closet
___ Vacuum bedrooms or 2nd floor
___ Go through coupons, dispose of expired ones
Wednesday
___ Clean top shelf of refrigerator
___ Clean knickknacks and shelves
___ Clip children’s nails
___ Clean/wash hairbrushes & combs
___ Clean outdoor trash can
___ Dust master bedroom
Thursday
___ Change dishcloth/towel
___ Clean microwave - inside and out
___ Mop kitchen
___ Clean telephones
___ Change hand towels in bathrooms
___ De-clutter/organize top of dresser(s) - master bedroom
Friday
___ Clean dishwasher door
___ Dust dining/breakfast room(s)
___ Change a/c or furnace filter
___ Sweep porch
___ Change sheets - master bedroom
___ Do a quick tidy/put away in each room of the house
___ Spend time on a craft/hobby
Saturday
___ Change dishcloth/towel
___ Change hand towels in bathrooms
___ Water indoor plants
Sunday
___ Change dishcloth/towel
___ Change hand towels in bathrooms
___ Cut/sort/file coupons
___ Plan menus
___ Make shopping/errand list
___ Pamper yourself

I want to know what sort of robo mom came up with this list? I need an Alice really badly. That brought me to wondering what the heck Carol Brady did all day? She does not DESERVE an Alice. She just sat on her butt all day reading the paper and drinking coffee while someone ELSE packed her kids' lunches and made her dinner. A housekeeper would be awesome but a live in one???? Bonus!!! By the time I get my kids fed, bathed and in bed I just want to sit down and chill not worry about changing the hand towels in the bathroom. Most stay at home mom's I know don't even have the time to do this sort of stuff.

Sigh, I suppose I will have to continue to live in a home where the beds don't get made and trying to remember the last time the "master bedroom" was dusted makes me giggle

Here is my list of stuff do do every day

feed, bathe and love on my kids till bedtime
drink wine
facebook
put out if I'm in a good mood
go to bed

lather, rinse, repeat

Come on in and I will pour you a cup of random.....

Just some random thoughts from my brain this morning......

I think THIS is my new motto in life.

I woke up this morning and while putting on my make-up noticed that I now am sporting crow's feet. What. In. The. Hell. Those were NOT there yesterday. No seriously....I have never EVER seen crows feet in the corner of my eyes. I kind of want to stab myself IN said eyes with a fork.

Speaking of birds. I saw a dead goose on the side of the road this morning and it made me happy.

Wow, one MORE thought about birds......the happiest bird IN THE WORLD lives outside my bedroom window. He starts his merry little song around 4AM every day. Rain or Shine.

I need a BB Gun

This morning I had the following conversation with my 5 year old son when he came out of his room.....

"Wow mommy, you already dried your hair?"
"Yeah bud, did you not hear my blow dryer? That normally wakes you up"
"I know, I had my ears turned off"
"Turned off? Do you have a button that does that?
"Yep, it is behind my ears"
"hmmmm, that explains a lot"

I had some challenges getting off of the highway this morning. My friend called me apparently 2 cars back to tell me I almost killed the person behind me. Oops. She also said I ran a red light. I disagree. It was yellow. Maybe pink.

Tomorrow I am living a DREAM 20 years in the making. More on this later.....if you already know what I am doing tomorrow as I know some of you do (Liz, Mellisa, Lauren, Kelly I'm talking about YOU) or if you suspect.....keep it quiet until tomorrow.

I wrote this entire post without spelling one thing wrong. WHOA....I am SMRT

She's Got Bette Davis Eyes.....

So I took this "which female icon are you" quiz that has been floating around blogland.....my results were kind of creepy. If you have met me......you will see what I mean.....who knew Bette Davis was such an awesome person! I have added some thoughts in BLUE

You are a Bette -- "I must be strong"
Bettes are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

How to Get Along with Me
* Stand up for yourself... and me.
* Be confident, strong, and direct.
* Don't gossip about me or betray my trust. um, hello work friend
* Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side. I don't show it much so pay attention when I do
* Give me space to be alone. with wine
* Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me. well, you can flatter me a little
* I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack. Now shut up and keep reading
* When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am. AMEN

What I Like About Being a Bette
* being independent and self-reliant Most of the time
* being able to take charge and meet challenges head on bring it!
* being courageous, straightforward, and honest It's how I roll
* getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
* supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me If you mess with those I love, I will cut you
* upholding just causes

What's Hard About Being a Bette
* overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to and welcome to my life.
* being restless and impatient with others' incompetence I don't like stupid people
* sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
* never forgetting injuries or injustices I forgive....I don't forget
* putting too much pressure on myself
* getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right

Bettes as Children Often this is the only section I DON'T agree with
* are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
* are sometimes loners
* seize control so they won't be controlled
* figure out others' weaknesses
* attack verbally or physically when provoked
* take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings

Bettes as Parents
* are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted aren't most of us?
* are sometimes overprotective lil bit
* can be demanding, controlling, and rigid --not at all actually

On an unrelated note......my good friend Melissa who you may know from Mama-Loco is having surgery on her neck today. Please go give her some love!

GIMME

The parents in The House of No Sleep....aka myself and the husband....each have what we call a GIMME. No, not referring to any sort of golf term where a gimme means that they ball is so close to the hole that you just assume the next shot will go in (you like that Golf knowledge? I don't). A Gimme in our house is that ONE person who should he or she show up at our door the other spouse has to leave for awhile no questions asked. You following me here?

Now, before you think that Joe and I are some sick swinger type freaks, I need to make it known that our GIMMEs are not ever likely to show up at our door....it is not like some hot chick up the street or a stud from my office.

For example. My Gimme:


Meet my secret boyfriend Josh Hartnett. I have had a stupid school girl crush on him since his days of The Faculty....which may just be one of the dumbest movies ever. Joe is aware that if for some reason Josh should ever come calling then he needs to find something to do. Just like I know that if this person.....


.......finds time between diapers and saving the world to come visit I need to go shopping or something.

Let's face it. Josh is going to show up WAY before Skankalina Angelina will. When you are sleeping with Brad Pitt you don't really NEED to go roaming now do you? Josh on the other hand.....not married, unattached, no kids. Game On.

Joe also knows that if I am ever so lucky that Edward comes crawling out of my Twilight book he needs to leave the house for awhile too......

Do you have a gimme?

I always knew I was a rockstar....now I have the name to prove it!

I totally stole this from Becky from the Wife of Riley. You have seen the whole "what is your stripper name" thing floating around I'm sure....well this takes it to the next level.


Feel free to play along.


To find your ROCK STAR NAME take your first pet & current car: Candy Odyssey......I see her with pink hair and a guitar....she can kick Britney's ass too.

To find your GANGSTA NAME take your favorite ice cream flavor and your favorite cookie: Cookie Dough Peanut Butter. Okay, this does NOT sound like the same of someone who could cut you....and that is just no fun. My Gansta persona would not last long.

YOUR DETECTIVE NAME? Your favorite color and favorite animal: Purple Dolphin. Ummmm don't people keep those next to their bed?

Want to know your SUPERHERO NAME? Just add the word "The" plus your 2nd favorite color, and your favorite drink: The Pink Merlot. Saving lives one bottle at a time

Your NASCAR NAME. Take the first names of your grandfathers: Stu Roger. Get R Done

If I ever go into WITNESS PROTECTION you can find me with this name. Ann Boreem

TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME? Just take your 5th grade teacher’s last name and add a major city that starts with the same letter: Pitcock Pittsburgh.....Calling for more snow today.

Of course, if you find me in witness protection I will assume it was because you were using your SPY NAME. Add your favorite season/holiday to your favorite flower: Spring Lavender....which incidentally is probably also my hooker name.

Find your CARTOON NAME by taking your favorite fruit, and an article of clothing you’re wearing right now, then add "ie" or "y": Blueberry Uggsy. Next on Noggin

Your ROCKSTAR TOUR is heading across the northeast...it's called "The" + Your fave
hobby/craft, your fave weather element + the word "Tour": The Reading Sunshine Tour...also showing on Noggin....and maybe on Yo Gabba Gabba as the Super Music Friend Show....if you are familiar with this madness

Your PORN STAR name! Take the name of your first pet and the first street you lived on: Candy Kenwell


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One more thing for today.....did you watch Idol last night? If so did you happen to catch the rather large guy named Patrick rocking out to Billy Jean? He is from my town and he is a part of a local radio station morning show. Funny story is that he used to stalk all of their appearances around town and they finally just started letting him hang out. They sent him to Idol as a joke to see if he could get on. He was shown for like 2 seconds last season but this year he got more air time. Funny thing is, he never made it to the judges...they edited it to look like he did though. He is kind of a tool but really REALLY funny to listen to.

PS.....

Anyone know where I can get one of those cute little signature boxes you all have. Well, what I really mean is who wants to make me one?

Yay or Nay?

changed the blog look....is it okay to read or do I need to change anything? Do tell.....

Holy Crap....

I skipped a day!!! Whoa! I might even let THIS be todays blog....hmmmmm

BOO YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is all

Wed post #2....a Cry for help...

I reallllllllllly want a 3 column blog.....can anyone help? and speak slooooooowly....I am html challanged....seriously.......props if you do it FOR me.

My Needs According to Google

I'm going the lazy route today because frankly....I feel like crap today. I'm home sick but have been on such a blog posting run that I did not want to miss a day....Im sure I will eventually though. Anyways....I saw this on another blog and thought it was pretty darn funny, and a nice fill in when my brain is too fogged up on cold meds to come up with something original. Feel free to do the same and give me a giggle.

My needs according to Google. What I did was type in "Cammie needs" into the google search bar. Here are the top 10 things I "need"

1) Cammie needs her virginity notarized-- Well google...sorry to say you missed the boat on that one

2)Cammie needs punched in the face-- LMAO....but maybe it would loosen up my sinuses

3)Cammie needs a house sitter.--- That should say a house KEEPER but I will take a sitter too I guess

4)Cammie needs to be done away--my goodness Google....violent much?

5)Cammie needs a fenced environment and could benefit from some obedience training.--holy crap, I could not make that up if I tried! Joe would probably agree with this

6)Cammie needs a sturdy bed for her nighttime activities--ummmm. wow

7)Cammie needs to be looked at--I guess so since it sounds like Cammie is a porn star

8)Cammie needs a job--above does not pay well?

9)Cammie needs a family of her own to love--indeed she does...thank God I have one

10)Cammie needs a second chance---at what??

Well now. This was insightful. Good to know that Google thinks I'm a skank that needs to be killed. Yeah me!

okay, back to the couch with my tea, and book--Happy Friday!

Fun with Joe

So, my husband gets this super hot picture taken of him in his honor guard uniform and what does his sister do? Off to photoshop she goes for some of the most picture viewing fun I have had in awhile. (thanks Gina)

First off, Joe goes to the moon....one small step for mankind and all that....

Next we are off to a tropical destination of some sort....one I don't recall being on with him...I must have been super wasted

Yeah, I got nothing for this one.....mostly because I have no flipping clue what those things are (anyone??)

again....he must have been to a game that I was not at either that or he was posting the flag for the game...either way he had great seats....O-H

Joe is way older then I thought he was.....

I have never had the pleasure of seeing this movie with Farmer Smith and his sister Ida....but apparently....they use preservatives in the "tastiest smoked meat in town" (barf)

"I know you are but what am I?" Off to the Alamo to help Pee Wee find his bike.

YUM!!

It's a major award.....from FRAGILE

I hope you have enjoyed traveling with Joe.

Duck.....Duck.......Goose

There is this neighborhood across the street from mine that has a pond. I guess there is a guy out there that every day comes and feeds the ducks corn feed. This story even made the paper so Joe and I took the kids to try and see them. We went at 430 and they were all coming up the street to the area in front of the pond to wait....seriously....they were walking in little groups up the sidewalk. We left and came back around 515 which is when we heard he comes but he must have been there and left because they were all walking back DOWN the street. But, we had some buns and fed them too. The kids thought it was awesome. I think it is cool that this guy does this when it is cold out but at the same time I would be sort of pissed if I lived next door to this area because they were LOUD

this is a LOT of ducks





The Princess gets bread taken right out of her hands

I liked this one

The Boy almost looses a finger

They both have already asked to go back. The city even put up a duck crossing sign on the street across from where we were. Oh, and the GOOSE part of this was across the street in some guys yard.....there were about 10 of them just hanging out....you know....watching me....and plotting the demise of my current iPod.....bastards

Go Bucks!!

Today is Ohio State/Michigan day which is pretty much Joe's favorite day of the year. He and I are all decked out in our OSU finest (well, I'm wearing a t-shirt and comfy pants) and we are having one of his friends over to watch the game (in surround sound.....like we are having some big ass party) The kids each have outfits....a jersey for The Boy and a cheerleader dress for The Princess. Yeah, they are still in their jammies and are not so interested in getting dressed. Our OSU flag is flying!! As I sit here typing this we are watching the teams leave the field and of course they are trying to start a riot with each other before the game even starts. I love this rivalry! In Ohio we get SO excited for Ohio State football that a friend of mine had her little boy and husband stomping Script Ohio in their yard in the snow this morning....and then spray painted it. Sorry it is upside down but you get the point.
GO BUCKS

So...

Where and how to I get a cool blogger layout (a free one at that)??

Ready.........GO

Okay, I'm giving blogging another try. I set this blog up awhile ago and then never did a thing with it because I figured that most of my stuff goes on the kids site, but then I have realized....that believe it or not Joe and I have things that go on in our world too. Since I have so many other blogger friends I like to keep up with (both in real life and on the net) I'm going to cave to pressure and join them. If you want to read along I can't promise it will be the most exciting thing in the world, but then you never know....every now and then I DO get attacked by a goose.