blunk

here it is bitches.....yep.....im calling you all.....my favorite people....bitches

learned some stuff tonight about my friends that I did not need to know....still think you kick ass. drank a bottle of wine.....our hostess is already passed out.....my friends kick ass. the pics.....they are not right......maybe.....maybe will post them later.....especially since i am not in any of them.....yeahh.......bottle of wine.....gone.......mel from mama loco.....too lazy to make the link so you can click on it.....she is hammered.....okay, no she isnt......but let's pretend she is.....like super drunk......

drink. drank. drunk

No blunk yet......

Now last night.....last night could have been bad.

2 xanax and 4 glasses of wine later I arrived safely in Jersey! Was collected by Ryann, met her kick ass sister, picked up 2 gals from Texas who keep bitching about the cold and then drank a little more.

Good times and everyone is not even here yet.....

Mommy's Gone Wild-Episode 2009

Tonight at around 6PM I will be boarding a plane for my weekend of drunken madness.

I. HATE. TO. FLY. Hate it. I woke up this morning and the anxiety set in immediately. Thank you Lord for Xanax.

There are about 20 ladies from all over the place getting together for what is sure to be an awesome weekend. We will laugh until we cry, cry until we laugh and just have a great time getting away.

Some of the lovely ladies I will be spending my weekend with....the one's who blog anyways....

Melissa- My sweet Texan friend who I have not seen since 2006
Kelly who despite living 15 minutes away I have not seen since Dec
Another Kelly who I have not seen since 2007
Lauren who I also have not seen since 2006
Stacey and Bre two more Texas girls who are gonna FREEZE Y'ALL

What I love about this group of friends is even though more then a year can go by without us seeing each other.....we talk every day and pick up right where we left off once we get together. They are like sisters to me and I cannot WAIT to play this weekend.

Look Out Jersey.......

I fear that my google reader will throw up on me when I get back. I may just have to hit the "mark all as read" button. I have a feeling that my lovely hostess Ryann would cut my hands off before she let me blog or read blogs on my weekend of debauchery.

Have a great weekend!

Tag, Im it! Things that mad me MAD

I have been tagged by Mrs Och for a "10 Things that piss me off" meme. FUN. I enjoy complaining from time to time so this will be therapeutic

1)Winter. Yep, the whole darn season. I could not just pick one aspect of it because there are soooo many to choose from. Icy driveways, dirty slushy roads, the feeling of the inside of your nose freezing when you breath....and my favorite....big ass hunks of ice flying off of semi trucks that you never know if and when they will hit you. Yep, Winter pisses me off.

2)Dieting. I know that SOME people try and tell me that it is "not a diet, it is a lifestyle" Bite me. I hate dieting. I don't WANT a Lean Cuisine meal I want Chipolte. mmmmm, Chipolte......

3)I mentioned this in a post of mine waaaaay back at the beginning of my blog but I am bringing it up again because it really grates on my nerves. People who laugh for NO REASON AT ALL. Like they are nervous about something. I said it then and I will say it now....what are are you so nervous about? Do you have a dead body in your car?

4)Having some of my bestest friends EVER live in dumb places like Texas, New York and New Jersey. Now before you get your panties all in bunches take note....I really don't think these places are dumb at all.....I'm just bitter that I don't get to see these girls without spending money to get there. That said TOMORROW I fly out to play.....Wonder if I will have my very first "blunk" session while I am there? (blogging while drunk....get it) Wow....I just got off track....

5)When my husband answers a question I ask him with the word (if you can call it that) "eh" This gets on my nerves SO badly and he knows it. From here on out I am going to interpret "eh" to be the answer that I WANT. So if you don't want me to go shopping say "NO" not "eh" because "eh" means that I am bringing home like 8 pairs of shoes.

6)People who hurt their children. I had such a hard time with this yesterday and I don't want to get into thinking about it again but let me just say.....I hope these people get hit by the karma bus big time.......I try to "hate the sin and not the sinner" as I have been told but I want to dig the eyes out of anyone who hurts their own babies.....with a fork. I am not a violent person but this realllllllllly pushes me towards the edge of it

7)Parts of the "system" This is a new one right now because of a family member. Parts of the system that say you can't have a restraining order against someone unless there is "enough" incidences to warrant one. So what.....??? Call back after he assaults her? mmmmkay.

8)Whining. not to be excused with WINING which would be on my "list of things that make me happy" The ability of a child to stretch a one syllable word into a 5 syllable word is like nails on a chalkboard to me.

9)My Dryer. My dryer is out to get me. Not only is it notorious for eating socks as most dryers are but mine shrinks my clothes. All the time. Sometimes more then once.....the dryer shrinks them.....yep.....that is my story......damn dryer

10)Lastly....BARKING. This is a problem. I have 2 very small yappy dogs. I want to put a shock collar on them. The things they bark at include but are certainly not limited to
-cats
-kids
-toys that make noise
-anything living that has the audacity to step into our yard
-the act of standing up....yes, sometimes when I stand up to walk into another room the littlest yappy dog FLIPS OUT. Like he thinks he has to protect me from the unknown.
-each other. One cannot bark alone.

I'm not tagging because I think we could ALL use this therapy session and if you want it....you may have it!

I don't do serious often but I need to get this out

I know that bad stuff happens all around us in the world and I know that it sadly always will. Most of the time news stories to not really "get to me" other then a passing moment where I think that something is just awful.

For some reason the case of "Baby Grace" has torn my heart up today. Today is the day that her evil piece of shit mother was convicted of murdering her beautiful little girl who is the same age as my daughter. She will rot in prison for the rest of her life. I don't know if it is because this family is from Ohio (although this happened in Texas) or if it is because when I see pictures of that beautiful baby I see my own beautiful girl and just ask myself what kind of mother hurts her own child? What kind of monster allows someone to convince them that their sweet baby needs to "learn manners" and that beating her and torturing her to the point of death is the only way to do it? A 2 year old beautiful little girl has lost her life to the hand's of the one person who was supposed to love and protect her above all others.

When I read that Rylie told her mother as she was being beaten that she loved her I sat here in my cubicle and cried tears for a little girl who probably never knew love.

I hope she is sitting in the lap of Jesus right now and does not remember the pain of her short life.

I hope her mother gets her ass kicked in prison every day.

I want to go get my babies and just hold them.

Whoring sometimes DOES pay off.....

How many of you came in here all interested in the title of this post? Dirty minds!

I meant Whoring for a GIVEAWAY!!! I won a $50 gift certificate for a KozyPal Cart cover! I have one of these myself and it is awesome! I had to keep her business card's in the little pocket of it because I got stopped every time I used it to ask where I had gotten it. I am particularly excited to see that she know will personalize the cart covers with the baby's name! How cute!!

My cousin is currently pregnant and I cannot wait to give her one for her baby shower! Yeah!!

A few random thoughts from me today......

I leave for my girly weekend the DAY AFTER TOMORROW and I am so excited I just may wet my pants.

I had to stifle a giggle upon leaving the house today and seeing our jacked up garbage cans at the end of the driveway. You know....the ones I did NOT destroy......

That is all.

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

My husband was NOT out of town all last week....leaving me to rip my hair out lovingly care for our children alone.

I did NOT consume more wine than I normally would in his absence and damn near burn my retinas out playing Wii every night. The reason I did NOT do this is because in his absence the best use of my time clearly would have been to do something productive like clean or organize something. So no way would you have found me every night from about 8-11 playing Wii. Not me.

Speaking of the Wii. I did NOT have to reprimand my son for telling someone to "get out of my way jackass" while playing Mario Kart. If this HAD happened I would have to blame Joe because he is the one who would be prone to using such language in the car......NOT ME.

I did NOT fashion my own snuggie at work on Monday by cutting 2 holes in a cheap fleece blanket. I then did NOT proceed to do the same thing for my friend next to me. I did NOT then wear said "snuggie" for most of the day at work.

I did NOT leave for the night within one hour of my husband coming home from his work trip on Sat. What kind of mother would I be if I could not even spend an entire week alone with my children and not want to leave the house?

The reason I did NOT leave the house on Sat.....had nothing to do with a 2 year old's birthday party complete with Tumblebus fun......because if I had gone to Cleveland for the night....and NOT taken my kids to said birthday party that would just be wrong.

I did NOT go see Twilight again with the mommy of the above 2 year old while NOT on my night of escape.

I did NOT buy New Kids on the Block tickets with BFF Liz and BFF Jess thus realizing a dream of mine 20 years later.....

And finally.....to top off my week......I did NOT try and park my car in the living room upon my return from Cleveland last night. I did NOT destroy my husband's bumper and 2 trashcans in the process. Of course my husband was not at ALL pissed off at me and did NOT pretty much flip his shit when he opened the door of the house. If this HAD happened I would have a good excuse and I certainly would NOT have freaked out and say that I think I hit the gas pedal instead of the brake. I'm a WAY better driver then that which is indicated in the fact that this was NOT my 2nd issue in my husband's car.......

This week HAS to be better......right??