Life in the house of no sleep.....

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!

2011-11-21T20:12:00.002-05:00

Congratulations Amanda!!! Random # generator kicked up numero 4 and that was YOU. Shoot me an email at thewinequeen@gmail.com with and I will let you know how to claim your prize!

My Memories Suite- Digital Scrapbook software giveaway!

2011-11-12T20:24:00.010-05:00

I am so very excited to announce that I have been asked to do a review and a giveaway of an awesome digital scrapbook program called My Memories Suite

I have been a scrapbooker before I even knew that is what I was doing. I had always loved to put my pictures in albums with cute sayings or stickers and over the years my hobby developed into an actual craft.

When digital scrapbooking came into play I never thought I would get into it. I thought it was cheating actually. To me the point of scrapbooking was all of the awesome embellishments that went into it. I've learned my lesson this past week! My Memories Suite is the #1 rated digital scrapbook software. It is so easy to use that even a total novice to digital scrapbooking (ahem, ME) can use it and make awesome pages. You can make individual pages from scratch, or choose from TONS of different designer templates. There are so many different papers and embellishments to choose from that I was totally overwhelmed. In a good way

Once you create your masterpiece there are about a billion different ways to share it. You can print the pages. You can have them professionally printed and put into hardbound books. Turn it into a movie for a DVD or even your iPod. Add music, add video, seriously, add the kitchen sink.

I had SO much fun playing with this software that I finally had to just STOP and write this review.

Probably my favorite thing about using a digital program was how easy it was for me to throw some GOOD pages together. Over the years of having kids I have found that my hobby took a back burner because getting my stuff out, or packing it up to go somewhere just took too long. Playing with this program the past week......I did so while sitting on the couch, catching up on DVR and still spending time with the husband. I never had to worry about not having something that I needed because I was either using already put together kits, or just finding cute stuff on the website. The program itself is priced WAY less than it should be, and adding on extra stuff is only a few bucks. There is also TONS of free stuff to add into the program. I used a lot of those kits too. All that and no mess to clean up? Yes please.

So I'm going to share some of the pages I made...and THEN I'm going to tell you how to WIN a full copy of the software for yourself!! I like to share.

The first thing I tried was to make a few pages from scratch. Mallory at the beach last year, and then just one of my favorite pictures of her from a few years ago. Simple but still cute.

Then I tried a few coordinating pages. These ones took me like 2 minutes....added pics, added some text and that was all. The pages were already done, I just had to drag my pictures in.

Finally I decided to do a little album. They had tons of cute Christmas stuff so I decided to put something together with that.

Seriously.....so much fun.

OK, here is the part you are waiting for. HOW to enter to win. Go to My Memories Suite and look around. Come back and leave me a comment telling me which kit you like the best. Easy!

Want extra entries? Follow the My Memories Blog, Like their Facebook page or follow them on their Twitter. Post a link to THIS post on your blog for another entry. Just leave me a separate entry for each "extra"

One last thing! In addition to giving a full program to one of my readers, My Memories Suite has also given me a code to share with you for $10 off the purchase of the program, and $10 additional in store credit....hey, you cant ALL win the entire program. Should you not be the lucky winner, and you still want to buy the program just enter STMMMS1186 at checkout for $10 off and $10 in store credit

This giveaway will end on 11/20/11

I was provided with a free download of the MMS software to that I might be able to provide an honest review

On the second day of kindergarten my brother said to me......

2011-08-30T08:15:00.002-04:00

"Mallory.....when you see me in the hall way.....pretend that you dont"

It is going to be a loooooong 10 years

oh, and HELLO, anyone still out there? I really need to start using this thing again to keep track of all the awesomeness that I am sure will come out of having 2 kids in the same school again. Good times I say. Good times.

But, Peter, how do we get to Never Land

2011-03-10T11:00:00.005-05:00

Have you heard of this guy?

He thinks he is Peter Pan. For realz. This "boy" dances around the United States dressed like Peter Pan and he even married Tinker Bell which if you really think about it is kind of creepy

Last November while at the airport picking up some of my besties for another weekend of sinning the following transpired

Joe comes up to me after going to get a cup of coffee and informs me that he just saw Robin Hood. In our airport. I looked at him like he was stupid and he kept insisting that he saw Robin Hood. A guy dressed in a Renaissance looking get up complete with tights.

Now I have actually HEARD of this guy before through a friend of mine but quickly burned the image from my brain and never thought of him again. Unlike my friend Kelly who was in town from Long Island and immediately knew it HAD to be the Peter Pan guy. Right, because Columbus does not have it's own fair share of freaks in tights?

so like the assholes we are we tore off in the direction Joe saw him. He was not hard to find. And like the asshole I am I went right up to him and asked him if he was that "guy from the Internet" to which he replied "I am that boy". I am not exaggerating when I say he look beat up. Like he had had a rough night with the other lost boys the night before. His endeavour to not grow up was failing because Randy Pan looked OLD

But instead of (verbally) judging him I did what any other person who do if they met Peter Pan at the airport. I asked for a picture.

Sadly for Kelly and I, he was all out of pixie dust

Hellloooooooo??

2011-03-09T09:57:00.002-05:00

So I want to get back to this. I really do. I actually had a friend email me this week and ask where the hell I have been. I don't usually have trouble finding SOMETHING to talk about. Verbal diarrhea has always come quite easy to me. I see I still have almost 200 followers but how many of them are actually keeping up with me via reader? I don't blame the ones that left, hello.....Ive been BORING. So, I will try and kick this back into gear.

Ready......here I go.......

How my 4 year old got crabs

2010-10-29T22:01:00.004-04:00

Last week at dance class Mallory got crabs.

This conversation may be less funny in say 12 years but last week it was pretty funny. Every week after dance if the girls are good they get stamps on their hands. Last week while I ~~enjoyed 60 minutes of uninterrupted kindle time~~ payed close attention to my little ballerina she did an excellent job.

She came running out of class with a smile on her face and announced......Mommy, I got crabs!!! Instantly another little girl proclaimed "I got crabs too!!!!" Mallory then announced as loud as could be....."We ALL got crabs in dance class"

Sure enough, on each little hand was a big old smily crab stamp. While the moms in the lobby tried not to die laughing the little girls girls just smiled away about the crabs they got in dance class.

Pickles are the New Goose

2010-08-25T19:48:00.009-04:00

So I was assaulted by a jar of pickles yesterday. No, really. I'm still not sure how it happened but as I was leaned all the way down getting something out of the crisper drawer for the kids

I all of the sudden saw little stars and birds floating around. That shit is really true! After the fog cleared and I looked down I realized that I had just been nailed in the back of my head by a 32 oz jar of pickles It had fallen directly on my head from the top shelf. About 3 feet. Exhibit A showing the size of the jar in comparison with a bottle of vicodin

Due to my insane bawling the kids started to freak out which made my skull throb. I just wanted (for the love of all that is holy) for them to be quiet long enough for me to decide if 1) I was going to pass out, and 2) if I were bleeding from the brain. Neither seemed to be the case so I sent Joe (who was in class) a few texts about how I was just clobbered by a pickle jar. In true man form he was all, "Man that sucks" not "Hey do you need me to leave and come home" But whatever.

I managed to survive the rest of the evening with a throbbing headache like none I have ever experienced. Hindsight I probably should have NOT gone to bed but I did at least ask him to poke me a few times in the middle of the night and make sure I was not dead. I stayed home today, still feeling kind of dizzy and just off. Plus I was not quite ready to face my co workers knowing that they would all soon know that on top of geese I also apparently am on the pickles death list

I ended up going to urgent care today because the headache and "weird" feeling that I cant so much describe would not go away. I sat across from the intake girl and when she asked why I was there responded with "I was attacked by a jar of pickles" She stared. I stared. And when she realized that I was not kidding she began making notes

I underwrite health insurance. A perk of this job is getting to read all of the random shit that people tell their doctors. When you tell your Dr that your marriage is in trouble because of your addiction to hookers or that you just cant seem to shake the vaginal itching they write that shit down verbatim. Forever in my medical records it now says "hit on the head by a jar of pickles.

Diagnosis? Concussion. For realz. Treatment? Nada. There is not a thing to be done about concussions other than don't sleep more than 4 hours at a time without being pestered and don't drink. Both which I have already failed to comply with. Don't judge, the wine helps with the headache.

So adding to the list of things I hate with a raging passion (geese, sold out NKOTB cruises and Snookie) I officially add pickles. And yes I forgive you for laughing because truly....who is NOT going to laugh at a chick who gets a concussion from a pickle jar. I would.

I ♥ Faces Beach Fun Photo Challenge!

2010-08-23T10:56:00.005-04:00

Anyone still out there, or am I lost to the blogging world forever? I do really want to make a return to the land of blogging. I have much to tell....how my love for NKOTB had me drive to and from Chicago in 24 hours.....how my still not sold house flooded while on vacation....another mommy's gone wild weekend with my besties...." That said, today I want to participate in this weeks I Heart Faces photo challenge. I wish I had the original but I cant find it darnit. I don't love the vignette but I do love the pic!

Oh how I wish I were at the beach right now!! This picture is from our 2009 vacation to Holden Beach, NC. Mallory was not a fan of the beach but so long as she stayed on the "dry sand" she was a happy girl. Please click over to I heart faces to see more awesome pics!

Selling a house.....kind of sucks

2010-04-23T21:14:00.004-04:00

So not loving the process of selling my house. Don't get me wrong, I really REALLY want it to sell but the "showing" part of it is 76 shades of on my nerves.

This is how it works. The realtor people call me with only an hour or so of notice and ask to show. Usually this occurs while I am at work. I leave work, hence sucking up my personal time (of which I only get so many hours per year), run home, turn on all my lights, spray the house with febrize cooking smell shit to make it all home-y, turn on my super cool Wii aquarium, get my dogs and leave. People who don't have pets have it WAY easy when it comes to home selling. This is where the real fun begins. Since I have stalker tendencies and patience issues I like to circle my hood and wait until I see the people are actually IN my house. Then I place myself strategically at the bottom of my road so I can see what kind of people are looking at my house, but also so I know when they are gone and I can throw the dogs BACK inside and get back to work.

The other day it went something like this. I get home, do all of the above steps, and sit in my car with 2 dogs and wait. And wait. And wait. Usually they show up towards the beginning of their hour and are gone 10-15 minutes later. Not so much this time. As I wait I notice Pierce's DS in the car with me. SCORE. I start to play random Mario mini games.....did you know you can play poker on Super Mario Bros? THEN I notice that the old dude who's house I'm chilling out beside giving me the eyeball. Like he is nervous that the chick rocking the mini van with a poodle and a Yorkie might be a threat to the hood. I end up getting out and talking to him for a few minutes, explained my situation, and once he knew I was not casing the joint but that I OWNED the joint he was good to go. Get back in my car and the phone rings. Douche bag realtor running late, had to cancel. May as well have light a fire to my hour and a half of personal time.

Also fun was the 614-715 showing last night. Only because Mallory had not had a bath since Sunday and was starting to have a cloud ala Pig Pen from Snoopy following her around. Thankfully I have a close friend who lives by. I packed up kids and dogs and totally gave my daughter a bath at my friend's house. Speaking of the kids......they are pretty much over it too. They are tired of me making them keep their toy room spotless ALL the time, tired of me telling them not to get stuff out. The only thing they think is cool is looking for the "card" that the realtor leaves behind.

Sigh. Please send house selling vibes. The tax credit is over in like 8 days and I am running out of places to hide STUFF

D-Bag Mom Sends Adopted Kid Back To Russia

2010-04-14T12:56:00.003-04:00

So I am sure most of you heard that some douche bag mother of the year sent her 8 year old adopted kid BACK to Russia, ALONE. Yeah, I get that she thought he was psychotic, and a danger to her family, but really? Just send him back with a note?"

So today I happen across a poll on CNN.com asking if adoptive parents should be permitted to return their kids. I was surprised that it was fairly close at something like 46% yes and 54% no. Really? I think this is total and complete crap. If I can't send my kids back to where THEY came from why should other parents be able to do so? And way to screw up international adoptions from Russia!

asshat

Have You Ever............

2010-04-13T15:00:00.003-04:00

Tried to sell a house with 2 kids (not to mention 2 dogs and 2 cats) living in it? Yeah, well it is not easy. In fact it just plain sucks. We have so much ~~shit~~ STUFF. So much. So much stuff that when they are not watching I'm throwing away random happy meal toys, or small toys with pieces missing. The house is clean.....even the toy room, but the hard part is KEEPING it that way. Getting the kids to actually put their crap away when they get it out vs just leaving stuff all over the play room. Making beds every morning.....which makes me late for work! I've never really been one for making beds every morning to be honest. What is the point? We are just going to mess it up again with all that mad sex we have every single day

While I have been trying to organize and clean stuff Joe has been busting his butt doing the "manly stuff". Painting, putting in new faucets in the bathrooms (goodbye 1980's) shampooing the carpet, ect. He cusses an awful lot while doing home improvement (or putting things together that require one of those little wrench things). He is also guaranteed to say each of the following phrases...."Sonofabitch" and "This doesn't make any sense"

We have had 3 showings this first week it has been up. Today starts week 2. I'm trying very hard not to be excited about the house we want to build and where we want to build it because until we sell our house we cant do anything. I'm not one for patience. Shocker I know.

I just want it to sell and sell fast so I can go live in an apartment for 6 months with said 2 kids, 2 dogs and 2 cats. I mean who doesn't want to do THAT?

Wish us luck! Do I even have anyone left in bloggy land to WISH me luck? I know, I'm a slacker....

Horny Geese Suck

2010-04-02T09:46:00.004-04:00

Not sure there is much else to say when you get an email from your place of employment that says the following

A goose is nesting near the pond path. There have been some reports that the goose’s mate is acting in an aggressive nature toward people walking on or near the path. Until further notice please do not walk on the pond path.

I refuse to be a victim

Hardwood Floors+Small Dogs=Awesome

2010-03-19T13:56:00.007-04:00

Ahhhhh, order has somewhat been restored in The House of No Sleep. Well, as much order as there ever was I suppose. The fine workers from Lowe's left my house on Wed and from there began the process of putting the house back together. And with it, my sanity

3 days without TV for my kids was like poor Tiger going 3 days without sexting with some skank. And when the kids don't have TV to entertain him....they want Joe and I to do it. I kid I kid....I really do STUFF with them...I just love me some Phineus and Ferb when I want to say take a crap without a small child on my lap, or refill my wine glass.

But I digress.

Hardwood ~~floors~~ laminate with tiny bark-y dogs.....WICKED FUN

Gone are the days when I have to interact with my husband and children for amusement. Now I find it in the form of a rawhide and a yorkie (I don't mess with Scarlet....she is my baby). I will spend HOURS upon HOURS of watching the yorkie slide across the floor in pursuit of whatever toy I have tossed. I feel like a need a point system....5 points if he hits a wall for example. When he goes running after the cats?? He is like poor Scooby running from a ghost....his feet are moving but it just takes him a good 10 seconds to get anywhere. It. Is. Awesome. I wish I had video to share but instead I will just show off the new floors!

you can see small bark-y dog down in the corner...little does he know the fun that will soon be had

PS--on a totally unrelated note....although I guess it does sort of have to do with DOGS....who can guess what Im buying this weekend? Who is with me?

The price of remodeling

2010-03-15T07:59:00.006-04:00

Yeah, so I'm not talking about the monetary price although that was a bit rough too. I'm talking about the mental price! For the next 3 days my house will be in total chaos. More so than usual.

Joe and I spent the weekend moving our living room into the ~~family room~~ toy room. At first the kids thought it was cool to have random furniture piled up in their space but that did not last long. We also had to clean out 2 closets that have not seen the light of day since Betty White was a little girl.

The most fun though was watching poor Joe tear out the cabinet and sink in our downstairs bathroom. It cost him 2 trips to Lowes and almost a finger. Good times. I had the task of cleaning the dining room. See, we don't so much DINE in the dining room. We have a beautiful round table in there and we use it to store our STUFF. By stuff I mean anything we don't know what to do with. I cant even define STUFF because it was truly just a whole lot of random.

Most of the STUFF in the dining room was my scrapbook stuff. It was everywhere!! I was in dire need of some organization. So, I talked Joe into letting me claim a little corner of it for my "craft". It was SUPER pretty until we moved more crap into the dining room that overflowed from the toy room

The biggest crisis of the day though? No, it was not trying to throw random kid toys away while they were not looking (I was like a ninja), it was not finding missing neighborhood children under our couches(ew)....it was THIS

Look close class....do you see what that is? That is my wine rack and in front of it is a CHAIR and tons of other crap. Guess who forgot to pull out a bottle prior to it being blocked? Guess who sent her husband climbing through it all to pull me out a rescue bottle? NOW who's a ninja??

Come Wednesday though it will be all worth it. I will have beautiful new floors and will be able to spend my free time watching my dogs try to run on laminate hardwood. And when cats puke up smaller cats on my floor a quick wipe up will take care of it. Good times? Indeed

Please go visit my bloggy friend Jenny. She has opened up a new store (oh how I wish I could sew)and is having a give a way!

The Ultimate **** Blocker

2010-02-22T08:34:00.002-05:00

Yeah, I can't so much use that word in the title of my blog post....but the story has to be told. The story of how a 10lb dog is the ultimate cock blocker

I have mentioned Scarlet before here. Told you how she is my first baby, how I've had her longer than I've had Joe. Well, he seems to forget that she tends to be a tad on the possessive side....and I don't mean of me.

Scarlet respects sleep as much as I do. Maybe even more though I don't see how that is possible. She spends most of the day sleeping in my basket of laundry....be it clean or dirty. Of course at night she sleeps with us. Has been in my bed for 13 years and let's face it.....that is the longest ANYONE has been in my bed.

The point of all of this is what occured on Saturday morning. My kids actually slept until 7 on Saturday. This is like a once every 6 month occurrence. Even better was that when the did get up they were receptive to the idea of putting a movie on in Pierce's room allowing us just a little more time to sleep in. Riddle me this.....what part of SLEEP IN means slide over and try to make out with me? Before I've even really opened my eyes. You know, that subtle pressing against you that is REALLY FREAKING ANNOYING??

Fast forward a few minutes. I still have not killed Joe.... and he this he assumes is the green light to get even friskier when really it just means I'm too lazy to even yell at him. Ahhhh, but the force field is in the way. And she is not ready to wake up yet and she is no where NEAR ready to be asked to move to the foot of the bed. Scarlet is all curled up between us and has no immediate plans to move.

Joe asks nicely...patting at the foot of the bed. She looks at him in disgust and closes her eyes again. He tries to play master and a little firmer tells her to move. She growls at him. He then decides to play with fire and pick her up. And almost loses a finger. Yeah, she snapped at him pretty good and I giggled while he muttered something about her being a cock blocker.

The end of this story did not turn out the way Joe had hoped. The moral? Extra sleep in time does NOT mean we are having the sexy time. It means I am going back to sleep and maybe if you are lucky you will get some later that night.

Maybe

oh how I want this!!!

2010-02-21T16:06:00.002-05:00

It has been awhile since I have tried to win anything online. I'm going for this though because I have one meeeeeeelion things I could do with it!!

Check out Rebekah's blog both for the awesome giveaway and her story which never fails to amaze me!!!

Yeah, I cant so much post a picture of it because I'm working on a macbook now which I adore....but don't know how to use yet. It is a super cute insulated picnic tote personalized of course!! Perfect for camping!

How to get the $h!t scared out of you before even leaving the bed

2010-02-12T09:03:00.004-05:00

The last few weeks have been pretty awesome in my bed. And not in a sexy time sort of way (come on people...I'm a LADY, I don't screw and tell). The past few weeks Joe and I have been successful in keeping Mallory in HER bed. After at least a year in our bed. She wakes up here and there and for the most part we have been very firm that she will stay in HER bed. Although the dog has taken her place....and the dogs bites if you touch her while she is sleeping...but that is another story

So this morning I hear the pitter patter of feet at about 6AM. Joe is in the shower, I'm just waking up. Her majesty climbs up in bed with me which is okay since it is time to get up. We have a snuggle and then she hops down to go get something out of her room. I can still hear Joe in the shower, I roll over to kind of chill for a few more minutes....stretch out.....and touch a hand

I seriously shrieked....almost flew to the ceiling, and was pretty close to needing to change the sheets

Seems as though Pierce had a nightmare in the middle of the night and showed up around 3AM. I think he was even awake just laying there and apparently picked this morning not to talk his face off the second he woke up. He of course thought it was funny....as did Joe who had just came back from the shower. My underwear and I....did not think it was as funny

Holy Crap

2010-02-11T11:49:00.004-05:00

I better start kicking my blog up into high gear again because tomorrow I will be among celebrities!!! I honestly don't know if I am cool enough to roll with these girls but I will give it my best!!

Tomorrow I will be a featured blogger at Aiming Low who I came across from reading Barefoot Foodie These ladies are some awesome writers and never fail to make me laugh to the point of piddling. Just me that does that? um. never mind.

Anyways, tomorrow my infamous goose post will be featured! I'm excited and a little nervous to put myself out there in my current state of writers block.

One more thing before I sign this one off. My friend Amy has a sister (whom I also love) that is RIGHT NOW having brain surgery. Their OTHER sister Ryann is one of my BFF's Please keep Jil and her family in your thoughts and prayers. These ladies are awesome and I love them so much!!

WTF is with all the spam comments?

2010-01-28T08:00:00.003-05:00

Is that my punishment for being a crappy blogger these last few months? Well spammers you can suck it because I'm turning on that word verification thingy. Yeah, that will learn them

The Tooth Fairy Can Kill You

2010-01-27T11:44:00.003-05:00

Pierce has his first loose tooth. To say he is excited would be an understatement. He is insane excited. We discovered it a few days ago and I have probably wiggles it 100 times for him since.

A few things he has said to me since Sunday night.....

"I wonder what the tooth fairy will bring me in a few days" ummm it's been a long time since I have lost a tooth but if I recall it takes longer than a few days
"I'm going to brush my teeth extra good so it will hurry and fall out"
"I hope the tooth fairy brings me $1000 dollars"
"Will it fall out tomorrow?"
"Mommy's and Daddy's can only see the tooth fairy, not the kids" WHOA!! Even if I COULD see the tooth fairy I sure as hell would not look....I saw that movie Darkness Falls!! She KILLS you if you see her

I then started to think about all the random crap that most of us feed our kids....A fat man that slides down the chimney that we DON'T have and leaves all those presents (you spoiled ass kids), a RABBIT somehow makes it past the dogs to bring you those baskets...and he thinks he is crafty because he hides them?? The WINE fairy brings mommy all those bottles while she sleeps?? Oh, that is just at my house?

I know I believed all of this stuff too and looking back on it I have to laugh. Kids are so trusting of their parents that they will pretty much believe anything we tell them! I'm wondering how I can work this to my advantage. The looser this tooth gets I just may just start up with a new story about the tooth fairy. How she brings really good stuff to boys and girls who help mommy mop floors and run the vacuum. hmmmmm

Are you on Facebook?

2010-01-20T12:34:00.003-05:00

Pocket Edward is. I cant link it from here (stupid firewalls) but if you do a search on "Pocket Edward" you will find him. I was tired of him always wanting to be on MY page so I gave in an allowed him to have his own. Kristina P I almost sent you a friend request....just because I could.

Friend away. He loves meeting new people

They're Baaaaaaaaaaack

2010-01-14T10:45:00.003-05:00

And by THEY I mean those bastard geese. And this time they brought friends. A plethora of them. Though I think the correct term just might be gaggle

There are no less than one meeeelion geese outside of my office right now. Truly. It may only look like about 50 but I know that they are just all balled together in effort to make it look like less. They know that I know that they are on to me and are going into stealth mode to plot this year's attack

They sit their fat asses out there on our frozen pond and plot. Yes I know it LOOKS like they are sleeping but I am not stupid, I know a nap when I see one and those ~~missionaries of the devil~~ geese are not sleeping. They are waiting. Waiting on just the right moment where I am distracted enough for them to make their move. And because there are so many of them it will be a sniper attack that comes from within the goose pile and I will never know what hit me. I will go down in a pile of feathers and fake Prada bag cussing up a storm

So far this year they are winning. I wont give up though. I wont go down without a fight. This just may be the year that I run one over in the parking lot. Goose Lovin security guard be dammed. I would like to see what HE would do in the face of evil. I'm sure it would not be to "protect those endangered birds"

This is just ONE little section of TWO ponds where I work that is covered with them

Endangered my ass

How I spent $100 before 9AM

2010-01-13T09:53:00.003-05:00

Today was one of those mornings that needs a lot of ~~Zanax~~ coffee to stomach. It started out not so bad....Actually left the house on time which is always a bonus and headed out to drop Pierce off at school

My gas light came on about 5 minutes later...yes I AM that person who waits till the last minute to get gas. Joe loves it. Get to Giant Eagle (local grocery store) get SUPER excited to have $1.80 off per gallon and filled up for $15.

Get in the car. Start it up. Oh wait...no I did NOT start it up because it would not turn over. Awesome. This happened a few weeks ago when Joe was driving it and it had to be jumped to start it. So I call my knight in shining armour to ruin his day.

He had just pulled on base (about 35 minutes away) and was thrilled to have to leave, turn around at rush hour time and come to my rescue. Meanwhile....Pierce is THRILLED. He thinks it is SUPER cool to be stuck in the car instead of going to school. He had his ~~crack pipe~~ DS with him and was all set. We went inside the grocery store where it was warm and I proceeded to make Pierce's day even MORE awesome by informing him he was having a donut and some grape juice in the store for breakfast.

Joe gets to me....drives us back over to my car and makes everything all better by jumping my car. Oh wait....that is not what happened because it STILL would not start. He finally got it to a point where we could drive it up the street to the battery place and at the tune of $100 I am all set.

While the battery is being replaced Pierce is STILL talking about how awesome it is to be late for school, and then tells me maybe he could make a jet pack and just shoot himself there. He talked so flipping much that I finally called my mom so he could chew HER ear off for awhile while I waited on my coffee to kick in.

now I have a headache.

Texas Weekend Recap

2010-01-11T13:05:00.007-05:00

I am sitting at my desk trying not to fall asleep. I have consumed much caffeine today in an effort to stay awake. I had another awesome weekend with my girlfriends....another one of those weekends where it takes me most of the week to recover from the lack of sleep and over consumption of alcohol

Kelly and I got to Texas Friday night and were picked up by the rest of the girls. We headed to a fanfreakingtastic Mexican place for dinner and margaritas! Back to the hotel where we proceeded to fit 8 of us in a 2 bedroom suite. Do the math people and it equals 3 girls in one king bed, 2 in another, 2 on a pull out couch and MOI in the kitchen on a blow up mattress. I have not slept in such a random place since an incident in a parking garage in Canada.

Sat day we kept it low key.....a little shopping, a little lunch and a little nap before getting all hussied up to hit a 2 step bar. Guess what....I don't 2 step. Lauren took me for a little spin around the floor and I did not trip over myself but I certainly did not impress anyone.

Pocket Edward also had an excellent time revisiting his state of orgin. Since I was going to visit the girl who sent him to me I had to take him with yes?

Rocking his cowboy boots y'all
Even vampires look hot as cowboys

Stopping to "catch" some lunch. Not mountain lion but it will do

I know I have mention this before on this blog but I love these girls. I am so blessed to have awesome girlfriends....the ones I have had since college, the ones I have at work and "those Internet friends" My liver may disagree with these weekends though that is for sure. By the time we were done with that hotel room I swear all we were missing were a baby in the closet and a tiger in the bathroom. Bonus points if you get that reference.

I love you guys and I wish we could see each other more often. Although if we did it may have to involve a rehab facility. Or the nut house. Whatevs.

Having a small coronary this morning

2010-01-05T08:38:00.002-05:00

I woke up this morning to an email from the website that I keep for my kids. About My Baby.Com They are closing shop. I have had this site since Pierce was 4 months old so just about 6 years. I have 6 years of photos, video and journal entries that as of Aug 1 will just be gone.

I'm not worried about the photos or videos....they are also stored elsewhere. The journal entries though.....*tear*. I know I can put them into a word doc and I may end up doing that but it will be HUGE and I wont have anything to DO with it. I know the first obvious answer is to just start keeping pics and journal entries HERE but I don't want to do that...for a few reasons. Mostly because the AMB site was always just about the kids....this is MY space. My grandparents don't need to know about or read this blog...for realz....There are other people that keep up on my kids site that probably DO know about this blog and that is fine...they just don't so much care about my girly trips or why I hate geese.

The point of this post....if you know of any other place that can host this kind of stuff...online journal type places please let me know. I could also just start up another blog totally for the kids but that is not the same as the AMB site. Blogging here is awesome but it is not always good for holding tons of pictures in one area (albums) that people can go through

off to scour the Internet for a new *home* for the kiddos

This Year I Will Gain More Weight

2010-01-04T10:42:00.003-05:00

Yep. That's right. My New Years Resolution for 2010 is to gain more weight. I'm going to get Jerry Springer Show fat. I am not going to exercise one bit and my meals will all be fried and come with a side of cheese sauce. Expect to see me being cut out of my house on the Discovery Channel later this year.

Why such an awesome goal for this year? Why not the typical "I am going to lose weight and get in shape" goal that most of us make, and that I have made damn near every year since I graduated college?

Because I am smarter than myself. That's why. Each year I make that typical lose weight/eat better BS resolution. And each year I proceed to do the exact opposite. So since my SELF is so determined to outwit myself...you following me here? This year I'm going to fool myself into losing weight and working out by telling myself that I want to get fat(ter). Genius right? I don't know why mySELF did not come up with this years ago.

I've already started my trickery. Knowing that it is my goal to gain weight I went to the gym yesterday for a swim. Today I had a 190 calorie muffin for breakfast and got my starbucks in the non fat variety. So there self.

Who is with me here people?

And A Kindle In a Pear Tree.....

2009-12-29T15:10:00.005-05:00

Oops, my blog missed Christmas. Santa did not come for my blog because, well, let's face it. My blog WAS very naughty last year

Let me do a recap of the last month(ish). My birthday came and went (more on my gift in a bit)I'm finding that 34 is not much different that 33 was so no big drama there. Joe and I finished Christmas shopping at the last minute....as usual. Wrapped at the last minute.....as usual and I cursed my way through finding him a gift....AS USUAL.

This is the part where I get sidetracked because I did not plan this rant until just now. I can give you a list about a mile long of things that would be an awesome gift for me at any given moment. Truly. Don't get me wrong...I loooove to give presents. Love it. But I'm not ashamed to admit that I also love to receive them. Joe is NEVER at a loss for what to buy me for Christmas or my birthday. Him on the other hand.....he SUCKS to buy for. So hard. Do you watch that new show out called the Modern Family? If so you will get this when I say he almost got 5 hugs and a visit from Spandeau Ballet. Don't watch the show? Then you will have NO idea what that means. Rant over.

The kids were much spoiled this year. Big hits in our house were a Nintendo DS for Pierce....which I think came with a side of crack because he has barely put it down in 4 days and an easel with art stuff for Mallory. I was spoiled a bit ~~every~~ this year too! I got a Kindle and I am in LOVE with it. Bet you can't guess what the very first book I put on it was? I also scored a bottle of bubble vodka (yum) some perfume, an Archivers gift card and a case of wine. Yep, a case.

We actually have PLANS for New Year's Eve. We are going to a party at THIS GIRL'S house where I will once again manage to elude THIS GUY
and keep my true identity a secret.

This brings me back to my birthday. My present this year is a plane ticket that is taking me to HOUSTON!!! No, not with Joe....the best gift ever is a weekend with your GIRLS right? So I am hoping a plane with the above noted New Year's Eve party giver to go to Houston to visit THIS GIRL (don't bother, she never updates), this biatch, this girl, going to cut THIS GIRL, hopefully get to make out with THIS GIRL and her non blogging sister as well as a few other of my besties. Yep, going to have a weekend with "those Internet friends" If you missed last year's debacle (one of them) it can be found HERE. Whew, that was a lot of links

It has only been a few months for most of us but we are finding that this whole "long distance relationship" thing really sucks. I miss them more each day and cannot wait until we are back together....in Houston....for a boot scootin good time YA'LL

So there you are caught up to the last month or so in my world. I'm going to try and get better and being here more often (Jodi, I'm talking to YOU) and I hope everyone had a MERRY CHRISTMAS

New Moon Review

2009-12-09T13:33:00.007-05:00

I know this is a bit late but better late then never right?

I need to preface this review by letting you all in on a little secret. I carry Edward in my purse. Some of you may remember my awesome friend known as Mama Loco...I'm not bothering to link because she has not updated her blog in forever. Melissa sent me a little present about a month ago....Edward the action figure. I have since done a number of fun things with him (minds out of the gutter please) that I may save for another day. He escorted me to see New Moon

Along with Pocket Edward were my good friends Laura, Erin, Bree, Brandy, and my Mother. Yeah, my mom came too. We kicked off our night at California Pizza Kitchen for drinks. Edward got carried away with the Sangria. I swear, you cant take him anywhere. I did not mind though, easier to take advantage of him when he has been drinking

After drinks we went to get in line to get in line. Yep, that's right. There was a line at the bottom of the escalators that lead up to the theater. As you can imagine it was a 98% female crowd. Guarding the entrance way was a tool that problem has never been around so many women in his life and was clearly enjoying the fact that HE was in charge of when we got to go in.

While we waited....the following things may or may not have happened.
-I saw a little girl with a cooler Edward doll than mine and contemplated stealing it
-Security guards arrived to make sure there was not a riot
-My mom worked her way to the front of the line and tried to bribe the guy to let her in

Once the douche blocking the way to my happiness stopped acting like he was guarding the Mona Lisa moved it was total mayhem up the escalator. My mom and I leading the way!! Its possible I even pointed teenagers in the wrong direction when they asked me which way to the theater.

Once we got to the hall where the theater was we had to wait AGAIN for the following show to let out and for the theater to be cleaned. Honestly this crowd would have taken a dirty theater. When the prior show let out they just built up our suspense by shrieking about how awesome it was! The rush to get seats was not too bad. We scored seats in the middle, half way up. Perfect! I was afraid that Pocket Edward and I would be stuck straining our necks in the very front row

We waited with baited breath for the movie to start. Calls of "TEAM EDWARD" and "TEAM JACOB" being called out here and there. Pocket Edward was overwhelmed with love from his fans.

And apparently by the flash on my Blackberry.

The movie was AWESOME. In my opinion so much better than Twilight which I also loved. I loved how the director gave more "character" to some of the non main characters and I thought the wolves were done very well. No complaints about the lack of shirts either. I did come out of it still TEAM EDWARD but I think others may have shifted to the dark side. I loved it so much I have actually seen it a 2nd time. I cannot freaking WAIT until Eclipse (thankfully not a full year) and will just have to find ways to entertain myself with Pocket Edward (minds out of the gutter) until then.

Dear Tiger,

2009-12-03T10:00:00.006-05:00

Way to go asshole.

Sincerely,
A wife who is making her husband find a new hero

PS---Reminder to self....post New Moon blog SOON

Remember that holiday between halloween and Christmas?

2009-11-18T20:13:00.008-05:00

It's called THANKSGIVING people. Do you remember that holiday? Because a lot of people do not. Namely people who run department stores, grocery stores, Halmark stores and yes, some of our neighbors.

I need to eat one of these......

Before I see any of these.........

I loooove Christmas. Love it. It is my all time favorite holiday. I drive Joe nuts with my need to listen to Christmas caroles non stop through the month of December. But I am driven to madness on Nov 1st when I walk into a store and see Christmas decorations out next to the Halloween clearance decor. I put my tree up Thanksgiving weekend pretty much every year. AFTER THANKSGIVING!!! First Thanksgiving disappears....soon it will be Halloween and before we know it there will be NO 4th of July.....the candy canes and tree ornaments will start showing up after Easter!!

I have seen Christmas lights up this week. I passed some that were ON tonight. There is one house in my neighborhood that has their lights up and a damn pumpkin still sitting on their porch.

Those of you who are not new to my blog know that I hate large birds that can be cooked and served for dinner....but not the turkey.....RESPECT the turkey!! After that please decorate your homes ala Clark W Griswold with my blessing. And please take the lights down promptly on Jan 2nd

Who missed me?

Stellan

2009-10-28T10:44:00.003-04:00

Poor Stellan is back in the hospital on the eve of his first birthday. A baby that was not supposed to live and here he is still fighting a year later!! I think he has shown more strength in 363 days than I have in 34 years. Please pray for Stellan to recover and for his little heart to heal. And go to McKmama's Blog for details.

Have you seen my creativity?

2009-10-27T12:58:00.004-04:00

Because I sure as hell have not. I have looked, I'm considering putting up an award for it.

Part of my problem I know is that I have changed jobs within my company. No longer am I working in the awesome call center environment that allowed me the free time between calls to actually LISTEN to the voices in my head and put those thoughts here for your reading pleasure. This also explains the crappy job I have been doing commenting on the 200 blogs I keep in my reader. I'm back to actually carrying a physical work load of files versus waiting on the next call to come in. What is funny is that I fought tooth and nail that I was NOT going into the call center with a college degree thankyouverymuch. Yeah, joke was on me. I loved it and I cannot wait to go back.

So what to blog about today? I could talk all about how Pierce is kicking ass in flag football...now that he gets that he only pulls the flag from the OTHER team. I could tell you how I shelled out $100 for Mallory to be a cheerleader for his team only to have her cheer one game and decide she hated it. Man that sucked because she looks SO cute in that outfit with those little pom poms.

Oh, I could blog about how I totally SUCK at dieting and how Joe has lost 13lbs doing weight watchers.....I lost 5 and then had to be on steroids for 2 weeks and gained it back!

I could also tell you about my new ~~crackberry~~ blackberry and how I squeal in delight every time I get a new IM or find something new that it does

But.....I should probably get back to reading medical records and making decisions on those darn insurance applications.

Update on Rayna

2009-10-21T07:48:00.001-04:00

After almost 2 days Rayna was found in Texas. As of yesterday her mom was on her way there to get her. I swear the teenage years scare the crap out of me.

Bring Rayna Home

2009-10-20T14:52:00.005-04:00

I am a firm believer in the power of the "Internet community". Danielle is a mother on one of my mommy boards and her 15 year old daughter is missing. This is not one of those deals that you will find on snopes. Please feel free to re post, tweet or whatever. I cannot imagine the horror of not knowing where your child is.

Rayna Ashlee Korbus
DOB- 3/20/1994
Height- 5"5"
Weight 125
Hair- Blonde
Eyes- Blue
Complexion- Fair
no piercings, tattoos, or birthmarks
Medical Conditions- Chronic Asthma, Pulmonary Disease, Allergies

Last seen on 10/19/09 at 8:00 am wearing- Light Tan Uggs, Black Skinny Jeans and Gray Hoodie with Hollister written across the front in red. Believed to be with 15 year old Hispanic male- Kevin Linares. Could possibly be headed to Mexico.

Please call 803-230-1343 with any information or York County Sheriff's Office 803-628-3059

PS-I know I have been a bit MIA lately. Writers block perhaps?

It is my anniversary.....AKA Q and A pt 3

2009-10-12T13:51:00.005-04:00

7 years ago today Joe became the luckiest man alive. Yep, today is our anniversary! Isn't this when that 7 year itch is supposed to kick in? I'm not really sure what that is honestly but I hope it involves me shopping more.

In the past 7 years Joe has learned more about me than any other person has. Joe has this wicked power to read my mind. Kind of like this morning when I told him that I was not going to shave my legs again until he unclogged the drain in my shower. It's fall...I can rock these hairy legs till spring if need be. Without me even implying what I really meant he knew that there would be no sex until I stop showering in 6 inches of water. Guess what, my shower got fixed today. See, it is moments like this.....our flawless communication that makes us a match made in heaven.

What better day than today to take on Martha's questions from my Q&A post a few weeks back. Ms Martha asks.....

"what is your most favorite food in the world besides wine and cooked goose? And how did you and hubby meet?"

I heart Martha....she knows me well....she knows all about my hatred for geese (unless they are dead) and my love for wine. The kind of food that will kick weight watchers right in the ass where I am concerned is chips and salsa. Is that random enough? It has to be GOOD salsa though (bonus if it is from Chipolte)none of that Tostitos crap....I want real fresh yummy salsa. I want it now actually.

New topic before I lose control and head to Chipolte. Martha also asked how Joe and I met....this is where I get lazy and direct you HERE because I am entirely too lazy to type all of that out again. Plus I need to run and get some chips and salsa.

The Kids Said WHAT?? Edition: 8

2009-10-08T08:03:00.004-04:00

I can't believe it is Thursday already....well, I suppose I can since I slept the first half of the week away. I hope you remembered your kiddo's cute sayings for the week. Once again I only have one good one but it is a doozy.

Last Thursday night Joe and I took the kids to what is called "Literacy Night" at Pierce's school. Curious George was there, they had some crafty type stuff, ect. So we are back in Pierce's class and he is sitting at one of the tables with a little girl who I know he has a bit of a crush on and he is talking to her mommy while coloring.

Pierce (to Melia's mommy) "Melia wants to marry me"
"Oh she does huh?"
"Yeah, she likes to chase me around outside at recess. Jessica and Logan want to marry me too"
"Wow, you must be very popular with the girls"
"Yes, I am. It is because I am so handsome"

I thought every parent within earshot was going to die laughing. My kid seriously does not have issues in the self esteem department.

Link up!!

Q&A part deux

2009-10-07T13:07:00.002-04:00

I'm making my way back to the land of the living. Which means I'm coughing my face off at work today versus sleeping in a Lortab induces haze of goodness. The past few days I have not ventured out of bed until at least noon and it has been fantastic despite feeling like total crap. You know, cuz I heart sleep.

I did not forget about the Q/A post I did last week I think it was and today is brought to you by the fabulous http://www.blogger.com/Shannon who wants to know:

I'd like to know...if you could take back or change one thing in your life/past what would it be?
Also, if you could re-live one great moment, what would it be?

This was a tough one for me because I'm a big believer that everything happens for a reason. That said I would probably CHANGE 1999. Yep, the entire year. 1999 for me started out ending a long term relationship that I had thought would have lead to marriage. He was the love of my college life and after college our lives just took separate directions. Now I would not take back the break up because it eventually lead me to Joe but I kissed a lot of frogs in 1999 to get to eventually get to that prince. 1999 was labeled as "The year I forgot I was no longer in college" Yeah, I had some fun partying with sorority sisters who were still in school but trying to go to work in the big kid world with a college kid hangover was NO fun. There were fun "mistakes" like that random trip to Windsor that had me sleeping in a car in a parking garage with a boyfriend and his alcoholic friends because we did not book a hotel room....ahhh the good old days. WAIT, I mean MAN was I immature.

Anyways, 1999 was a year of bad choices that even though I came out of them okay I could have done without a few of them.

If I could relive any one great moment......I would probably have to go with the first few months of Pierce's life. I was "lucky" enough to be blessed with PPD after Pierce was born and it took me a good month or so to really fall in love with my baby. Isn't that awful? Instead of marveling in the beauty of my new baby I spent a lot of time crying and wanting him to be held by anyone but me. I know that he wont ever know this (unless I choose to tell him) but I really wish I had been one to just be magically overwhelmed with everything related to my newborn. That said....he is pretty darn cool now.

Im alive....barely

2009-10-06T12:51:00.003-04:00

Miss me? Im the lucky winner of pleursy which is a kicked up version of bronchitis. It suuuuuuuuucks. It hurts and I have been sleeping most of the last 2 days. Add a sick husband to the mix and Im not even sure how are kids are getting fed. Good times. So send some healthy vibes my way and while I recuperate you can find me catching up on my TIVO shows. After I wake up at noon

The Kids Said WHAT?? Edition: 7

2009-10-01T07:58:00.005-04:00

I apologize for my lack of posting last week! This week we are back and I only have one good one for you also said by my nephew Jake who is almost 9 years old. Jake is a very inquisitive kid. He is funny, he talks a lot and he makes me laugh.

This past weekend Joe's side of the family got together to celebrate his mom and dad's 45th wedding anniversary. That is a long time people!! Jake's aunt (my sister in law) was talking about her puppies having just gotten fixed this past week and how they were not feeling so hot. The convo that followed went something like this:

J-"Why do the puppies not feel good?"
B-"Well they had a surgery at the vet"
J-"What kind of surgery?"
B-trying to tap dance around all things related to reproduction "ummmmm, a surgery that will make it so they can't have puppies"
J-"Why cant they have puppies?"
B-"Well we don't want them to be able to have puppies because there are a lot of puppies already in the world" not to mention the fact that the puppies are brother and sister and we don't approve of incest but that is besides the point.
J-"No, I mean WHY can't they have puppies, what did they do?"
B-"ummmmmm, they had a surgery that makes it so their bodies cant have babies"
J-"Oh, so you are telling me that they took her uterus out??"

I thought I was going to crap myself trying not to laugh, as did my sister in law.....funny, here she is trying realllllly hard to avoid an awkward conversation with a child who does not yet know how babies are made but he knows all about the uterus. Hooray for the Discovery Channel

Link up!!

Q&A part 1

2009-09-29T11:09:00.002-04:00

A couple of days ago I threw out a post while I was sick soliciting questions. I'm going to answer the ones I got in the next few days in between other stuff. Sometimes you just need a nudge for a writing idea you know?

First up is my pal Tooj who wants to know:
"what is my ONE favorite thing to do individually with each child and with the husband"

My most favoritest thing EVER to do with Pierce is to take him to the movies. I have always loved kids movies and used to try and steal a cousin to go with me once I outgrew them. I'm so glad he loves to go and it is 99.9% of the time just him and I. Most recently we saw G-Force which made me want to dig my eyes out but most of the time I love the movies just as much as Pierce does. Hoping to make it soon to see Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs!

Mallory....she is my snuggle bug. She insists on ME putting her to bed every night and that entails a story and some serious in her bed snuggle time each night. We lay face to face and sing songs together before I wiggle my way out of there. I know she wont always want me to do this so I will take it when I can.

My favorite thing to do with Joe.....honestly....raise our kids! We don't get a lot of time together to just do date nights and I do miss that but I love that he is SO involved with raising our kids. I know a lot of dad's are like that these days but I did not grow up with my father and seeing Joe with our kids just melts my heart. When we DO get away....it is usually a dinner out and that is about it. we are fairly boring people.

The Kids Said WHAT? WILL be back this week, although I only have one good one so far this week and it was not even my kid who said it!

I ♥ Faces - BLUE

2009-09-28T08:56:00.004-04:00

I LOOOOVE the I ♥ Faces photography blog. Each week they do a photo contest with a specific theme and I always want to play but have a hard time with what I want to enter. This weeks theme is "BLUE". Going through my pics I came across this one. Miss Mallory was just in awe standing in the window of our cabin. Her and Pierce sat up here all the time just looking at the water. I thought this would be a good one this week!

Dear So and So

2009-09-25T08:40:00.004-04:00

I have been out of the Dear So and So loop for a few weeks but I feel the need to address some issues this week so here you go!!

Dear Bronchitis. Suck It.
Love, My Lungs

Dear Steroids, I'm not sure if I like you or hate you. You ARE helping my cough, and you have killed my appetite which is a bonus on week 1 of weight watchers, however you are irritating the hell out of the back of my throat. I'm kind of glad our relationship is half over.
Cough Cough, Cammie

My Dearest Vampire Diaries,
I heart you so much. You have have filled part of the whole in my heart that has been empty waiting on New Moon to come out. I love your cast, I love evil vampire Damon's hotness and I love that you remind me of Twilight. Please don't get cancelled.
A new fan, Cammie

Dear Kat, No way do I feel like I am cheating on Edward. He is still and always will be my number 1 favorite vampire EVAH. I love him long time. But you know how the saying goes....When The ~~Vampire~~ Cat is Away The ~~human~~ Mouse will play.
Your Friend, Cammie Cullen

For more Dear So and So goodness stop by and link up with Kat. And I will get to those questions on Monday!

I am a open book. For realz

2009-09-24T12:49:00.002-04:00

I'm on day 2 of quarantine for the funk which is NOT the flu much to my co-workers relief. I feel pretty nasty so I'm curled up on the couch with my laptop and plenty of catching up to do in my DVR(thank you CW for giving me 90210 and The Vampire Diaries).

Because I'm sick and lazy I decided to let you all give me something to write about. That said please.....inspire me. What do you want to know? You all know by now I'm fairy blunt and to the point so ask away.

Curling back up with a hot vampire this is NOT Edward but is still pretty hot.

Miss me?

2009-09-22T16:51:00.008-04:00

I think this is the longest that I have gone without blogging since I started! I have been swamped since I got back from vacation and wound up taking yesterday off of work too to get caught up on laundry and go to the grocery. Today was catch up day at work.

We had an AWESOME time at "Mickey's House". Our resort (Disney Caribbean)was fantastic, the pools were great, the parks were SO FUN and the characters were EVERYWHERE! The only complaint we had all week was it was SO humid I thought I would die. One thing I will never get about kids is those little girls who insist on walking around the park in full out princess costumes. They had to be SO hot.

Our first day we hung around the resort at the pool. We got in at lunch time and just spent the day finding our way around and playing in the pool. Monday started the 5 days of park madness. We headed right to the Magic Kingdom and I just spent the day watching my children look around in awe. Pierce still remembers our last trip 2 years ago but this was all new to Mallory who was not even one on her first trip. I cant say she was a fan of many of the rides....they pretty much all scared the crap out of her except It's a Small World. But she LOVED being there and seeing all of her "friends". Pierce was SO excited to be tall enough to ride some "big" rides and loved going on Big Thunder Mountain. The look on Mallory's face when her idol (the mouse) came around the corner in a parade and she saw him for the first time....I will never forget!

Tuesday we headed to Epcot for about half a day. I love Epcot but other than the kick ass Nemo ride the kids were not all that impressed. Pierce went on the Soarin ride with Joe's parents, I am not a fan of simulated type rides. Wed we had breakfast at the Chef Mickey character breakfast where both kids pretty much grinned non stop and then we went to the Animal Kingdom where Pierce became scarred for life. He talked a big game getting on Expedition Everest which is an AWESOME coaster but it scared the crap out of him and he was all done with the "big" rides after that. It was SO hot that day that we called it a day and spent time at the pool and then to Downtown Disney to have dinner at T-Rex

Thursday was more pool time and went through the countries at Epcot so the kids could get their passports stamped. Friday was MGM which has really improved a lot since the last time I was there. There is a new Toy Story ride there that is SO fun and was the only long line we had all week (70 minutes). Joe and I even pawned the kids off on Joe's parents for 30 minutes so we could go ride the Aerosmith coaster (indoor, dark, lots of loops). Our last full day we went back to Downtown Disney for some shopping and then just played in the pool

No way could I recap the entire week. We had a blast, I love doing Disney through the eyes of my children. The kids are so into all of the characters and have full autograph books. I can't wait to go do it all over again in about 3 years. Here are a few pics that I have here at work

-PS...Im so sorry for being a bad bloggy friend. I skimmed through my reader 2 times while I was away but did not do any commenting. Im just now getting caught up!

Disney Bound

2009-09-12T11:15:00.002-04:00

See you in a week!!

9/11 Where were you when?

2009-09-11T10:58:00.006-04:00

I remember that day like it was yesterday. I probably always will. 9/11 is one of those events in history like the assassination of JFK that will always be with us. Those of us who are old enough to remember will always be able to tell our kids, and our grand kids what we were doing when our world changed forever.

I was at work. Same place I work today but a different building. I was 25 years old, not married, not a mother yet. I was still dating Joe and we would get engaged about 3 weeks later. I was sitting at my desk and I received an email from a friend of mine that worked in another office that just said "a plane hit one of the world trade center towers" I remember thinking and emailing him back, "whoa, that sucks" having NO idea the depth of what was going on. I remember thinking it was a small plane in the wrong place because jets just did not fly that close to the city. I did not even bother to look it up on CNN.com. Why would I? Nothing really bad ever happens in the US right?

It was not until he emailed me again telling me about the 2nd plane that it really registered that something big was happening. By now the news was filtering through my office and people were turning radio's on to listen to the news. By now we knew that our nation was under attack.

I called Joe right away. He is in the Air National Guard and works full time at a base here in town. I remember asking him what was happening and him telling me that he did not know. Eventually he was locked down at the base, no one was allowed to leave until further notice which ended up being about 9 or 10 that night.

The day went on, 2 more planes crashed and the entire world was scared. That night I was glued to the TV watching with tears the towers fall again and again on the news. I tried to sleep that night and kept waking up and turning the TV on all through the night.

I did not personally know anyone who was hurt or lost their life that day. My roommate's best friend was SUPPOSED to be working downtown that day but she had called in sick. It's little details like that that I wont ever be able to forget.

I was able to visit Ground 0 this year and even though the memorials have been taken down and the area replaced by construction fences to rebuild I still felt the sadness to be standing there where so many people died. When Joe and I were in DC this year we got to see the 9/11 Memorial at the Pentagon and see where the building was rebuilt.

We all have different political views in this country. That fact that we can HAVE those opinions is one more reason why we are proud to be Americans. Regardless of your political beliefs 9/11 brought us all together and I hope that no one ever forgets that day and what it did to our country.

Where were you?

The Kids Said WHAT??

2009-09-10T08:10:00.004-04:00

This is going to have to be quick today because I'm home with a sick little girl who has been coughing her face off all night long. Nothing too bad....I'm guessing it is just the asthma cough...but with us leaving in a few days (see sidebar counter...YEAH!!!) I figure we better get it checked out. She is demanding on a good day so I'm sure today is bound to be a treat. I'm going to bust this out while she is otherwise occupied playing on the computer in the other room

Since my little miss does not feel well I will start with her. She started dance classes yesterday which damn near put me over the edge cuteness wise. I kept calling my mom telling her what they were doing and she was swooning with me. There is not much cuter than a bunch of 3 year olds in tutus and ballet slippers. The other day in preparation for class she spins around with her hands above her head and said....
"Look Mommy, I'm a BARINA" Yes baby, you are a beautiful Barina!

This morning at around 3:45 (the title of my blog is so fitting is it not?)she is coughing so hard it is making her miserable. I told her we needed to go to the Dr later so he can get rid of her cough before we go to Mickey's house. She tells me...."I'm not going to cough in Mickey's face when I hug him mommy" *tear*

On to big brother who has only given me one good one this week and once again it is school related. The other day we had a convo that went like this...
Pierce-"Mommy...every day Mrs Marks writes the word MANNERS on the chalkboard and if we are not listening she erases one letter each time. If we don't have any letters left at the end of the day then we don't get any free time."
Mommy-"Oh yeah? That is a good idea. What do you get to do at free time?"
Pierce- (thinking) "I don't know Mommy....we have not gotten any yet"

God bless Mrs Marks and teachers everywhere.

I'm going to try and pop in one more time before we leave on Sunday!! Link up!!

Awesome or Shagalicious?

2009-09-08T13:19:00.005-04:00

Joe and I would love to move. We love our house but we have outgrown it and there are a few ~~demands~~ things that I would really like to have in a house. I would love a bigger yard, one that is kid friendly. Ours is wooded, not much grass can grow and pretty hilly. I would also love a 4th bedroom and a fireplace. But what I really want is a soaking tub. It does not have to be a jacuzzi or anything, just a nice big garden tub that I can chill in with a glass of wine and a good book. And no kids.

I like to go to realtor.com and search out new homes in our area. Our house is not even for sale but it is still fun to dream right. Imagine my total delight when I found a home that ~~defeats the purpose of moving~~ although smaller then our current house has the coolest thing EVER!!

Feast your eyes upon the coolness!!! A soaking tub IN THE BEDROOM!!!! Of course I did make a few slight changes in my mind. It would need a flat screen TV (as indicated) that could play Twilight and a(horribly drawn)wine rack built in so that I would not even have to get out to fill up my glass. Dream come true yes?

So I sent my fabulous find to Joe who proceeds to tell me that it was shagalicious and in no way cool. I tried to point out the pros....if I had a bathtub IN our bedroom he would most likely find me naked more than he does now. Add to that my flat screen playing Twilight and then you have me naked AND ready for action. Add the wine rack....naked and drunk....2 sure ways to get some action. Win Win yes?

I really don't understand his hesitation. Yes he talked some trash about moldy carpet....but DUH...the amount of distance from point a (bath) to point b (bed) would be so minimal that there would be no time for water to GET on the floor. We can buy a bathmat for pete's sake.

Sadly I don't think I will win this one. As cool as a bathtub in my bedroom would be it is a smaller house then what we have now and that just wont work for us. Don't think I wont mention renovations when we DO find our dream home.

The Kids Said WHAT?? Edition: 6

2009-09-03T07:47:00.003-04:00

I have been paying attention to some of the cute mispronunciations that come out of my kids' mouths lately. Funny thing is that most of them come out of Pierce. He gives me words like "bemember" and "hangurber" and he likes to get his "hangurbers" from Micheal Donalds (McD's)....who is also the guy who had a farm (Micheal Dondald had a farm EIEIO). What sort of jacked up words come out of your kids' (or nieces, or nephews, or other random kids) mouths?

Anyways.....a few things that Pierce said this week that made me giggle....

A few weeks back he mentioned to me how all the girls in his class think he is handsome. Yeah, no image problems with that one. Apparently the girls in his class have all gone bat shit crazy on him because the other day he told me...."Mommy....all the girls in my class want to MARRY me and they like to chase me around outside and tell me they want to MARRY me" Sigh. While I do love me any excuse to have an open bar I'm SO not ready to marry Pierce off. I'm a little "Lifetime Movie-ish" in my desire to keep my babies home with me forever. Just call me Meredith Baxter Birney. But I digress

We have also entered the lovely world of homework. In kindergarten. Last night Pierce had to take a piece of string and go around the house and find 3 things longer, shorter and the same length as his string. Longer....his sister....a chair....his daddy....shorter....the dog....a box of books.....and...."Hey mommy...look your WINE GLASS is shorter than my string." Screw me sideways. Yep, I had left an empty wine glass on the end table the night before and smart kid that he is he noticed that his string was longer than my glass. Needless to say we did not write that on his paper.

Little Miss Mallory. I swear she gets more like me every day. I have yet to decide if that is good or bad. We were snuggling in bed the other morning and Joe was trying to get her up and moving so he could take her to daycare. After the 2nd time of being asked she grabbed me arm that was around her neck, took my hand and put it up to her ear and said....."I don't want to hear daddy"

Playing along? Link up!!!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-09-02T07:51:00.000-04:00

Growth

2009-08-31T09:53:00.003-04:00

I have this strange little growth attached to my rear end. Gross right? Wait, I have a picture of it....can you diagnose me?

I know she is cute, I know she is my baby and I should treasure these moments....but for the love of all that is holy....she is seriously stuck up my ass. I do realize I am a very cool person but seriously....I have things to do

Let me get a little specific here. I know kids go through stages where they are attached to one parent or the other but Mallory takes this obsession with me to a whole new level. If I am home. I will be seated on the couch. And she will be seated in my lap. No questions. If for some reason I feel like, ohhhh cleaning the kitchen, or going to the bathroom there will be repercussions. I am not exaggerating. Yesterday she yelled at me for a good 20 minutes while I cleaned the kitchen after lunch to "COME SIT DOWN MOMMY" The longer it took the more pissed off she got. At one point she told me I was not her "bestest friend anymore"

When I DO finally sit down she backs her little butt up to me so I can pick her up and put her in my lap. That is not where it ends. She needs my arm around her so she can settle back into me. It's like I'm her freaking arm chair.

I love to snuggle with my kids, but I get driven to vodka when they want to HANG ON ME non stop. It is no wonder when I go to bed it is understood that I have MY side of the bed and Joe has HIS side of the bed...I need those 4 hours of sleep (before she joins us) where no one is touching me.

The mommy obsession follows us out of the house as well. We went through a phase where I was the only one who could buckle her in and get her out of her car seat. Thankfully that one was short lived but this weekend she started insisting on getting out of Pierce's side of the van so I could be there when she hopped out.

I have visions of me in bed with her when she is married. Scary visions

Thankfully she is not one to throw a screaming fit if I leave the house...she is only like this when I am with her. Sigh. It is hard being the coolest person I know

The Kids Said WHAT?? Edition: 5

2009-08-27T08:34:00.003-04:00

Believe it or not I got NOTHING this week. Probably because I was gone a few days, possibly I did have some but then lost them in the loss of those brain cells over the weekend. Either way, it is all up to you this week. No pressure.

1st Annual Run for Row 5K Memorial Run

2009-08-25T09:29:00.001-04:00

I made it back from Buffalo in one piece. Barely. I cannot even tell you what an honor it was to share this weekend with Andrea and her beautiful family. Her strength is amazing, she is beautiful, her babies are beautiful. It was awesome to see over 300 people come together in memory of her husband Matt.

This weekend was SUPPOSED to be low key....our lovely hostess had other plans and surprised us with a buffet and OPEN BAR at a restaurant the night we all got in. Things went a little downhill that night but it was sooooooo worth it. Sunday morning however was a little rough. We all made it to the run (barely) and the girls who ran it did AWESOME!!!! I was SO SO proud of them. I never intended to run it but once I saw people finishing 20 minutes in me and a few others thought we would be better suited to cheer our friends in and take pictures as they crossed the finish line. In other words, we bailed. But, we were there to support Andrea and the awesome charity for her kids and that was the important part for me.

Andrea, I love you to pieces....I love your kids to pieces. GOOD LUCK with the move this week. Can't wait till we can all come and ascend on you in LA

Sat night, before things got fuzzy.

Toasting to Matt...can you look close and guess which hand is mine?

Matt's family all wore shirts with his picture on the back, such a handsome man.....

All of us together post race. Not to bad since most of us were hungover. Andrea is in the very front in black.

Before we left yesterday AM. My car is a bit notorious because I have a personalized plate, a Mickey Mouse hitch cover and family stickers with Mickey Mouse hats. It's how I roll and they are all just jealous.

I'm going to let you use your imagination on the details of the weekend. It was not AS bad as the trip in Feb (though I did not puke on THAT trip...but I also was not drinking wine out of a carafe on that trip either) We had so much fun and even though I miss my friends, my liver is so glad we can only do this a few times a year.

Bittersweet

2009-08-21T08:00:00.004-04:00

Tonight I am heading to Cleveland with my good friend Kelly to pick up 2 more of my friends so that tomorrow morning we can head to Buffalo. I am so very happy to be seeing some of my bestest friends this weekend but so very sad for the reason that we are getting together.

Last fall my sweet friend Andrea lost her husband in an accident that sadly could have been prevented by his company. Now Andrea is raising her young kids without the love of her life. Believe it or not I have yet to meet Andrea even though I have known her for at least 5 years through my mommy board. Even though I have never met her, I love her dearly, and I have cried many tears for her, Matt and their babies.

This weekend about 20 girls from our mommy board are coming together to support Andrea in the first annual Run For Row 5k. In which I will be walking, not running thankyouverymuch. I have no doubt that we will laugh ourselves stupid and have fun being together again but on the flip side I also know there will probably be some tears as we support our friend who in the past 9 months has had more on her plate then anyone should. While we love being together....especially since it only happens a few times a year, I wish it was not because Matt died.

Andrea, I know you probably wont read this for awhile (although reading my blog should take priority over, ohhh, MOVING right?) but I am so happy to be able to come and support you this weekend. I just wish we were meeting under different circumstances. Hopefully the train wreck that is this group of girls will make you laugh as much as we can this weekend!

In case you missed my last weekend trip with my mommy board besties....you can read about it HERE. I think it is a good thing that God did not allow us all to live in the same place.

The Kids Said WHAT?? Edition: 4

2009-08-19T16:55:00.004-04:00

I thought I was not going to have anything good this week but in the last few days they each gave me a few good ones....I even have a middle of the night comment!

Little Miss Mallory....how I would love to get her to stay in her bed all night. How I wish I was not so lazy that I would actually just break the habit instead of letting her in our bed. But hey, I get up early....I can't spend half the night dealing with her screaming. So....probably around 3AM a few nights ago Scarlet (the dog that bites) decided she was cold and wanted to come up and get comfy between Mallory and I. Mallory wakes up and freaks out that Scarlet is there. See, Scarlet does not like to be disturbed when she is sleeping (who does?) and has been known to take a snap at you if you move your feet and touch her. Mallory tells me "You need to MOVE her mommy" and I said, she is fine, just leave her alone. "NO, you need to MOVE her. She is going to bite my toe toes off!!!"

Maybe not off.....

Mallory apparently has a new little boyfriend at daycare. When Joe went to pick her up yesterday she said she needed to go give him a hug before she could leave. As Joe watches, she runs over and hugs him and according to Joe it looked like she kissed him. Of course this gets a reaction out of daddy who tells her "Mallory, you are TOO young to be kissing boys" and she looks at him and says "I did not kiss him daddy, I wiped my snot on him" Wow, she is going to make someone a lucky guy someday.

My big kindergartner Pierce.....he is making so many new friends. Apparently a lot of them are girls because he says to me...."Mommy, I don't know why but ALL the girls like me" I know why.....it is those darn dimples that are going to get him in trouble!!

Pierce also gave me a rated R one this week without even knowing it. I got a tripod a few days ago and I had set it up in the kitchen to put my camera on it and check it out. Pierce decides that he wants to MAKE a little tripod and put a camera on it. Good imagination bud!! So he grabs a few different things out of the toy room and stacks them up and then a few blocks for the camera, and a little cd thingy that goes with some cd player and put it on top...not sure what part of the camera that is supposed to be but before I could ask him he says...."Look mommy, I even put my dick on it" I almost swallowed my tongue coughing. "I'm sorry WHAT?" "See", he says....and points to the CD. "Ohh, your DISC!!!" "Yes mommy...that's what I said" There is NO possible way that he knows what he said but MAN did it give me a good giggle when he walked away.

LINK UP!

Where Is My Alice?

2009-08-18T08:40:00.009-04:00

And no, I'm not talking about Alice from Twilight....although having an omniscient sister could be kind of handy too. I want THIS kind of Alice

My friend Lauren sent a list to me yesterday that made me laugh at it's absurdity. It was a list for getting organized and keeping your house clean. It included little chores that if completed every day will keep your house in tip top shape. Those chores include:

Make beds (riiiiiight)
Feed pets (if they are lucky)
Load/Run/Empty dishwasher (I do insist on this)
Sweep kitchen & entryway (umm, every day?)
Clean kitchen sink (does that not happen when you load the dishwasher?)
Clear/Wipe kitchen counters (yes)
Plan / Cook dinner (if by plan you mean order then yes)
Wipe out bathroom sinks (does not happen)
Empty trash (Joe's job)
Do laundry (every day? really?)
Read to children (probably the most important thing ON this list)
Exercise (I climb the steps a few times each day)
Quiet time (really)
Take vitamins/medication (my husband thanks me to do this every day)
Prepare tomorrow's clothing (pull out what is clean and does not need ironed)

Um wow. I barely have time to wipe my ass every day let along make all the beds in my house. Then it tacks on things that you can do each day of the week.

Sunday
___ Change dishcloth/towel
___ Change hand towels in bathrooms
___ Cut/sort/file coupons
___ Plan menus
___ Make shopping/errand list
___ Pamper yourself
Monday
___ Inventory refrigerator contents and plan meals around leftovers
___ Vacuum main/public rooms or 1st floor
___ De-clutter/organize desk
___ Dust office
___ Clean toilets
___ Replenish stock of toilet paper in bathrooms
Tuesday
___ Change dishcloth/towel
___ Change hand towels in bathrooms
___ Clean bathtubs and shower
___ Clean bathroom mirrors
___ Clean out purse/wallet
___ De-clutter/organize master bedroom closet
___ Vacuum bedrooms or 2nd floor
___ Go through coupons, dispose of expired ones
Wednesday
___ Clean top shelf of refrigerator
___ Clean knickknacks and shelves
___ Clip children’s nails
___ Clean/wash hairbrushes & combs
___ Clean outdoor trash can
___ Dust master bedroom
Thursday
___ Change dishcloth/towel
___ Clean microwave - inside and out
___ Mop kitchen
___ Clean telephones
___ Change hand towels in bathrooms
___ De-clutter/organize top of dresser(s) - master bedroom
Friday
___ Clean dishwasher door
___ Dust dining/breakfast room(s)
___ Change a/c or furnace filter
___ Sweep porch
___ Change sheets - master bedroom
___ Do a quick tidy/put away in each room of the house
___ Spend time on a craft/hobby
Saturday
___ Change dishcloth/towel
___ Change hand towels in bathrooms
___ Water indoor plants
Sunday
___ Change dishcloth/towel
___ Change hand towels in bathrooms
___ Cut/sort/file coupons
___ Plan menus
___ Make shopping/errand list
___ Pamper yourself

I want to know what sort of robo mom came up with this list? I need an Alice really badly. That brought me to wondering what the heck Carol Brady did all day? She does not DESERVE an Alice. She just sat on her butt all day reading the paper and drinking coffee while someone ELSE packed her kids' lunches and made her dinner. A housekeeper would be awesome but a live in one???? Bonus!!! By the time I get my kids fed, bathed and in bed I just want to sit down and chill not worry about changing the hand towels in the bathroom. Most stay at home mom's I know don't even have the time to do this sort of stuff.

Sigh, I suppose I will have to continue to live in a home where the beds don't get made and trying to remember the last time the "master bedroom" was dusted makes me giggle

Here is my list of stuff do do every day

feed, bathe and love on my kids till bedtime
drink wine
facebook
put out if I'm in a good mood
go to bed

lather, rinse, repeat

Why I am Mother of the Year

2009-08-17T08:41:00.003-04:00

I generally don't brag about all the cool things that make me the best mom ever. Things like the fact that I have dropped a dirty word in front of my kids on occasion, or that I have left my house only to be told by a kid that I forgot to buckle them in. I don't tell you all how my kids sometimes eat McDonalds and when they wake up at 6AM on the weekends I will bribe them with a movie in my bed so I can score another hour or so of sleep. I don't want you all to know my awesome parenting secrets and try and overtake me as mother of the year. It is hard work being that awesome of a mother.

This weekend however, I went above and beyond the call of mommy duty. This weekend I purposely took a sick child into public location that caters to children. Let the judging begin.

I generally do not advertise to Pierce and Mallory when we have something cool going on. When I do, something usually happens that prevents us from doing said cool activity and then I pay for it for the rest of the day. I apparently lost my mind for a minute on Friday when I told Pierce and Mallory that we would be going to COSI on Saturday. COSI is a super cool kid-ish museum that adults actually do not hate because the stuff there is also cool enough for us to enjoy. We go to COSI quite a bit but this was a special visit because Wyatt from the show Super Why was going to be there! Pierce and Mallory LOVE Super Why and I also kind of like them because they teach reading skills and they don't make me want to pour bleach in my eyes like THIS show, THIS show and THIS show.

Friday Pierce had mentioned to me off hand that his throat was sore. He did not have a fever and was acting fine so I did not think much of it. Sat am rolls around, the kids are way excited to be seeing Super Why and Pierce tells me again that his throat hurts. Better safe then sorry right? Off to the Dr we go and as we are waiting on his throat culture to come back Pierce is telling the Dr all about our planned visit to COSI. When she comes back with our diagnosis of strep and tells Pierce he needs to stay home today his little face just fell and broke my mommy heart into pieces.

WWMOTYD (What Would Mother Of The Year Do?) She waits until we get to the car and tells Pierce we are going anyways but that he can't touch anything and we would only be staying for a little bit. I doused him in anti bacterial gel and took my kids to see Super Why.

You may now proceed to poke me with your pointy mommy spears

The Kids Said WHAT?? Edition: 3

2009-08-13T08:37:00.003-04:00

Here we are almost at the end of another week. Time once again to unleash the wisdom of the kids in our lives. Don't forget....it does not have to be YOUR kids. I am looking RIGHT at you Kristina! You are a social worker....don't tell me you don't hear some crazy stuff on a daily basis

My edition is heavy on the Pierce side with him starting school this week. Let's start with day 1

Mommy to Pierce after getting him all dressed for his first day of school "Buddy, go look in the mirror and see how handsome you are in your uniform". Pierce to Mommy "I don't have to, I already KNOW how handsome I am". Well then...it is nice to know he does not have issues in the image department.

Later that day after school he informs me....."Kindergartners say MOM not Mommy...so from now on you will be Mom" Thank GOD that did not stick. I'm so not ready to be just "MOM" yet.

Joe had a conversation with Pierce this week that went something like this...
"Daddy, I know how to speak cowboy"
"You do??"
"Yep, I do. You know the number 9?"
"um, yes, I know the number nine"
"Well in cowboy you say it naaahhhhnn(insert heavy John Wayne accent here"

Only one goodie from Ms Mallory this week. We apparently did not pay her much attention this week with her brother starting kindergarten. The back story is that I told her that she had a froggy in her throat a few weeks ago because she was a little raspy. She literally thought that there was a frog in her throat. Later that week she told me that she had swallowed it and it was now in her belly. Which explains why she told me earlier this week after finishing her poptart...."I gave it to the froggy. He was hungry"

Link up peeps!!!!

Dirty Jobs

2009-08-12T08:45:00.003-04:00

Sometimes while flipping through channels Joe will stop of Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe. If you don't know what this show is this guy goes out and finds the nastiest jobs that are out there and then jumps in and does said job. Some I remember from the past are maggot farmer and roadkill cleaner. My favorite USED to be the episode where he made wine until this little gem came on last night. As you can imagine I approve of any job that involves processing dead geese.

So, Kindergarten.......we love it! He is having so much fun and making some new little friends. He has mentioned a little girl named Melia a few times....I think he may have a little crush on her. I met her today and expected her to be blond hair blue eyed like his other 2 past "loves" but she is a brunette. There is a ladder with different color rungs on it and all the kids start on green and can move up to blue or purple (YEAH!!) or down to red, yellow and I think black (boooo) 2 kids already had notes sent home on the 2nd day of school. Pierce made it to blue yesterday and said he was going to go to purple (the top). We shall see.

Kindergarten

2009-08-10T09:18:00.004-04:00

Well, we made it. By "we" I mean Joe and I. Pierce of course was fine. This morning was fairly uneventful. Pierce was not at all nervous or scared about starting a new school. He pretty much was just all ready to go. We packed his little back back with his school supplies, dressed him in his super cute uniform and out the door we went.

The school that he is going to is a charter school which means it is a public school but you have to apply to get in. He will be in kindergarten full days which is awesome. The school also has 20 extra days in the school year which I don't LOVE but if that is the only thing I have to complain about I'm good. It is a brand new building....you can practically still smell the paint

A funny observation.....we were in the gym where they serve breakfast and right next to the window where the kids can pick up food there was a sign that read..."Gabrielle is allergic to peanuts, Alexandra is allergic to milk and cats" Ummmmm. Cats?

His little room was all ready for kids to wreak havoc on. Mrs M asked Pierce to try and find his name at his little table which he did. He knows that he will make all sorts of new friends today. He has also already given me a few gems for this week's "The Kids Said WHAT?"

All ready to go! And yes that is an Ohio State football helmet mailbox

At his table!

The Kids Said WHAT?? Edition:2

2009-08-06T08:20:00.002-04:00

It is time for the 2nd edition of "The Kids Said WHAT??" Have you been keeping track of the cuteness this past week?

Pierce......
After kindergarten orientation on Tuesday he asked me if he had to go back to Pre-K at daycare. When I told him yes he responded with "I HATE it there, I don't want to go back" This shocked me because he loves his school, when I asked him why he said "Because I don't WANT to take a nap" Fast forward to today. It is his last day in Pre-K and I am picking him up at lunch so that he can go home with my mom and go to the place we are camping this weekend a day early. When we walk into daycare this morning he announces to all who have ears....."I don't have to take a nap today"

Last weekend while at a party for my friend Kelly a gaggle of geese flew over our heads (I totally looked that word up and find it amusing that GAG is in gaggle).When Pierce noticed the messengers of Satan overhead he turns to me and says "Hey Mommy....look....GEESE" Yes, even my son knows.

Mallory.....
My sweet girl is not overly impressed by anyone whom she does not call Mommy. Some days this is cute, some days I would like to take a crap without her in my lap. I have 3 nephews and along with Pierce those 4 boys think that my mom is the most fascinating and wonderful person EVER. Mallory likes her....but when she leaves my house she is not in tears that maw maw is leaving. It drives my mother INSANE that her only grand daughter does not live and breath for her like the boys do. She spent the night at my house this week and was trying to get Mallory to hug and kiss her good night and Her Majesty was all "ummm, no" My mom proceeds to tell her that as the only grand daughter she is barking up the wrong tree because my mom has DIAMONDS. The next morning as my mom is leaving she tries to entice a hug and kiss out of her and Mallory looked at her and said "I want diamonds"

That's my girl

Link up my friends!!

I cannot possibly be the mother of a kindergartner

2009-08-05T10:44:00.007-04:00

Whew. Thank God I'm not. At least not for 5 more days...yeah, he starts early. I cannot possibly be a mother to a kindergartner because I just had him a few months ago didn't I? I know I did not just buy school supplies and attend kindergarten orientation because he just started walking last week.

I can already tell that this transition from day care to real school is going to make me cry. Joe and I took Pierce to see his school and meet his teacher last night. When I walked into his class and saw his little cubby with his name on it and all of the little class decorations with all of the kids names' I wanted to just go rock in the corner. How on earth does time go by so fast?? I can't be a mom of a kid in SCHOOL because I feel like a kid myself still sometimes. I swear I looked at the other moms and dads and felt like I looked so much younger than them and I know I'm not. How is it that he shows no fear in walking into that class and right up to the other kids and starts to play...I know that is good but he just seems so darn independent. Filling out all those PTO forms and information about him just seemed so surreal.

Pierce has been in day care since he was 8 weeks old. I have never been a stay at home mom so it is not like he is just going into a school scenario for the first time but this seems so different. He is so excited. Joe and I are excited about the raise it seems like we are getting in now only having one kid in full time day care.

I know I will have one meeeelion pics to post of his first day of school. Today though I am going to take a little trip down memory lane.....

Excuse me while I go stab myself

I hate Geese- Chapter 71

2009-08-04T08:31:00.003-04:00

The little bastards continue to terrorize the world. One sweet bystander at a time. Their newest victim.....Sally who is one of my favorite blogging buddies. I curse them for you Sally.....and welcome you with open arms into the "I Hate Geese" club. Please feel free to take my little sign over to the right. I hope you recover from your assault soon, find a support group and get some xanax.

In keeping with the theme.....last night was week 1 of a photography class. It was awesome. I learned some new stuff about my camera settings but since it was just week 1 he spent a lot of time showing slides of pictures that he had taken to talk about different things. No less than 5 of them were pictures of geese. I am really excited about the next 5 weeks of this class but I swear if he shows geese pictures every week I just might snap

Napping 101

2009-08-03T09:34:00.004-04:00

I slept like it was my job this weekend. It was awesome. Napping ranks up there with reading and scrapbooking as one of my favorite things to do. When I nap, I mean it. None of this half asleep on the couch with the TV on crap that Joe likes to call a nap.

~~some~~ most weekends I nap with Mallory. After lunch we go up into my bed (awesome habit I know)to start the process that is the nap. Jammies must be worn, a true nap cannot be had in clothes. I turn the fan on (love me some white noise) pull the blinds closed, pick the poodle up (she also is a fan of the nap) and snuggle in with Mallory.

This mother/daughter/poodle bonding usually lasts 1.5-2 hours but this weekend naps lasted 3 hours on both days. I suppose I should be ashamed of myself but I dont. I have insomnia issues at night. I don't know why but it takes me at least an hour to fall asleep every night. Meanwhile next to me is Joe snoring his face off and making me contemplate smothering him with a pillow. Add that to the fact that I never sleep through the night EVER and you get why my blog is titled so.

Other than napping I did have a few fun moments this weekend. My BFF from high school had her TWINS on Saturday. That is better than ME having twins because I get to love them and send them home. Also I got to spend some time with Kelly and Nicole (and where were YOU)

Are you saving up your kids' goodies for this weeks "The Kids Said WHAT?" I already have a tasty nugget from Pierce....that involves GEESE.

Happy Monday!

The Kids Said WHAT?? Edition:1

2009-07-30T08:16:00.004-04:00

Good morning and welcome to the first edition of "The Kids Said WHAT?". In keeping with the constant joke that is raising my little ~~heathens~~ angels my children pretty much gave me nothing this past week. Nada. But that is okay because mommy has an endless brain and will just have to pull from there this week. So, although not all of them happened this past week we will just pretend that they did. Hopefully by the end of this blog I will have figured out where and how to add Mr Linky so that you can play along! Oh, and snag the button too....I made it myself thankyouverymuch.

Mallory has given me the following nuggets.....
The other day while hopping onto the potty she bumped her head on the cabinet and in true Mallory fashion proceeded to behave like the world was coming to an end. I told her that she had to calm down so she could go potty and she said....."And then I can cry again??" Thinking that this would be the end of it I replied "Yes baby, and then you can cry again" She stops crying proceeds to go potty, hops down and begins to cry again.

In keeping with this theme....the other day (and this has happened more than once) she was pissed about something and started to cry and after a few minutes I asked her if she was done yet. "NO, I want to cry all day!!!!!!" Well then.

While in the car with my mother my mom asked the kids if they wanted to play the "quiet" game (silly maw maw). She proceeded to say "Ready.....GO" to which Mallory promptly responded....."I'm out!!"

On to big brother Pierce whose 5 year old wisdom never fails to amaze me.
While watching TV with Mallory an infomercial for some sort of toy came on and Mallory said "ohhhh, I want that!!!" and Pierce responded "Mallory....you have to be 18 to order!"

My Ohio State peeps will appreciate this conversation....
"Mommy if you smell something that means it smells bad"
"No bud, if you smell something it can smell either good OR bad and if something smells bad sometimes we say it stinks"
"oh, well the lemon does not stink"
"nope, lemons smell good"
"well you know what DOES stink?"
"what?"
"Michigan"

And lastly this conversation between the two of them about a month ago.....The Setting....my hands are full, Pierce, Mallory and I are heading downstairs to leave for the day when I realized that Mallory's shoes were next to my bed. I asked Pierce if he would please go find them for me since I had other stuff in my hands and off he went to grab them. As soon as he catches up to us (and I should have known better) her majesty says "NO, I want to find them!!!!!!!"

Pierce looks in total annoyance at his sister. Drops them right there on the floor in the hallway and said...."There.....find them."

And walked away.

Here's hoping that they actually give me something to use for next week so I don't have to go digging. Punks.

(almost) Wordless Wednesday- Because I Am Too Lazy To Make A Big Deal About It....

2009-07-29T09:39:00.004-04:00

Although it would be pretty cool to get 200 comments on my 200th post like I did with 100 on my 100th.

I ♥ Faces - At The Beach, and Why It Sucks To Be Mallory's First Boyfriend

2009-07-27T08:40:00.006-04:00

Before I post my entry for I ♥ Faces I wanted to post what I am sure most of you already know....Sweet Baby Stellan is back in the hospital and not doing very well at all. Please send up a prayer for him and his Dr's so that they can find out how to make him well again. www.mycharmingkids.net.

This picture is from our trip to Holden Beach earlier this month. I love her smile and how she is just kind of off to the side. Head over to I ♥ Faces to see more entries!

So I imagine that face is bound to get some male attention down the road yes? Let me recap an incident that occurred on Friday at daycare. Pierce has been mentioning a new "friend" in his class by the name of Phoenix. Apparently the 2 of them are not getting along all that well. He has mentioned on more than one occasion that he does not like her and that she is mean. I pretty much just told him to not play with her if she is mean.

So I get there on Friday and it is later in the day so they had combined preschool and Pre K and they were out on the playground together. The first thing he does when I get outside is run up to me and tell me how Phoenix had just ran Mallory over with a tricycle. "Oh know she DI-ENT" was my first thought. Before I could even respond he took off running. I did not think much about it since Mallory was still playing and seemed to be fine. I was talking to one of the teachers when I heard someone yell his name. It appears that after he ran off from me, Pierce had gone over to the swings and proceeded to kick this little girl each time she swung up. She started smacking him back. Before it got to out of hand I yelled at him to come back over to me.

The teacher was trying to get him to apologize and he was not having any part of it (duh, he was not sorry) and he wound up starting to cry. I told him that he was NOT in trouble but that it was not okay to use his hands or feet on other kids ESPECIALLY not a girl. I praised him for wanting to stick up for and protect his little sister but told him it was not okay to hit. I personally was having a hard time not wanting to kick her myself actually.

I can only IMAGINE what this scene will look like when they are both in high school together and Mallory has her heart broken for the first time. God help the kid who does it

Funny thing is later that night they were back to wanting to kill each other. Apparently it is okay for HIM to beat on his sister so long as no one else is doing it

Dear So and So

2009-07-24T08:22:00.009-04:00

Another Friday, another list of things that just need to be said. HAPPY FRIDAY!! Before I get into berating people places and things I need to note....THIS is my 198th post. How in the HECK did that happen? If you missed my 100th you can find it HERE. I don't so much think I will be shooting for 200 things about me OR 200 comments. Perhaps I will just let it slide on by. Maybe I will do a give a way, maybe I will just ask for presents. Anyone want to sponser a giveaway? Anyone? Bueller?

Dear eBay Seller,
Hi, I'm Cammie. You may note by my 100s of positive feed backs that I have been around the eBay block a few times. I love me some eBay. Last week when I bought 3 pairs of size 5 navy shorts off of you for my son's new school uniform I was super excited to be getting them for $6. I was NOT however super excited to see you charge me $10.95 to ship them. Really? $10.95 for 3 pairs of little boy shorts? Did you forget to take the lead pipes out of the pockets? Now I will take a tiny bit of blame for not paying attention to the shipping cost but never have I paid that much for shipping so I just did not think to pay attention. Imagine my further surprise when I found out that you were NOT shipping from Europe which could have been the ONLY reason for such a high cost. I also find it amusing that when I called you out on it you refunded my money without further discussion. Chicken.
My feedback is higher than yours,
Cammie

Dear Chipolte,
Oh how I love your Mexican goodness. You rice is always perfected with just enough lime and cilantro, your chips just enough salt...but better than that is your sour cream. No other Mexican restaurant can perfect your sour cream which has a constancy like no other. How DO you make your sour cream that it does not just plop in the middle of my chicken fajita bowl but oozes off of the spoon to spread nicely across the top. I'm honestly not sure I want to know but I thank you Chipotle and shall forever remain....
A Loyal Customer

Dear Nintendo,
I love my Wii. I love that I can download old school games such as Super Mario Brothers and Punch-Out onto my Wii console. In fact I love it so much I may end up sending you the bill when I get carpal tunnel. Please....for the love of all that is holy.....give me Super Pitfall!! That is WAY cooler than some of the random crap that I can find. I promise to still feed my children if you give me Super Pitfall.
Yours until my hands go numb,
Cammie

Dearest Mallory,
Mommy loves you so very much. I'm not a huge fan of sharing my bed with you for half of the night. Let's be honest....most of the time I'm not even fond of sharing it with your daddy. I realize that I am SO lucky that you were night potty trained within weeks of being day trained but did you REALLY have to choose my bed for your first accident? That was your gimme. Do it again and we may have to press the issue of you sleeping in YOUR bed. Trust me, I look forward to that battle less than you do.
Love,
Mommy

Dear Punk Ass Kid In Swim Class,
So I hear from your big brother who was sitting next to me that you got kicked out of pre-school. LE GASP!! Really??? With such behavior such as spitting water in kids faces I would never have guessed. You really are a cute kid but I'm going to need you to stay away from my kid. And yes he IS that gullible that when you told him your name was scarface last night he proceeded to call you that throughout the class.
Don't Make Me Drown You,
Pierce's Mommy

Dear Rambler,
I told you so.
Cammie Cullen

And Finally... To My Darling Husband,
I survived the week with you out of town. Barely. I hate when you leave and I sleep like crap just WAITING for someone to come and kill me. It did not help that the damn cat would "knock" on the door in the middle of the night. You get home tonight. My scrapbook stuff is packed and by the door. Don't call.
With All My Love,
Your Wife.

My Life According To.......

2009-07-23T09:41:00.003-04:00

My life, according to...
The rules to this game are:
1) Answer the questions as well as you can, but using only song names from one artist.
2) Try not to repeat a song title
3) Pick your own artist, leave mine alone (to quote someone).
4) Tag a bunch of friends. Tag, you're it.

So I first saw this on The Wife O Riley's blog and I thought it would be super fun to do. I thought about what singer/band I would use. And I thought MADONNA....she is awesome, she is timeless....she is already used on Tooj's Blog. Well Crap. Then I thought about Sarah McLachlan or the Indigo Girls but they were a little too obscure. Well, who else do I love? Duh, The New Kids!!

So here is my life according to them!

1. Are you a male or female? Cover Girl
2. Describe yourself: Hangin Tough
3. How do you feel? Twisted
4. Describe where you currently live: Games (toys anyway)
5. If you could go anywhere, where would you go? New Kids on The Block (this IS a song and since they don't have one about a tropical destination I will have to use this...)
6. Your favorite form of transportation: Step by Step
7. Your best friend is: My Favorite Girl
8. Your favorite color is: White Christmas (okay, not really but this is HARD)
9. What's the weather like? Summertime
10. Favorite time of day: Tonight
11. If your life was a TV show, what would it be called? Call It What You Want
12. What is life to you? The Right Combination
13. Your relationships: I'll Be Loving You (Forever)
14. Your fear: If You Go Away
15. What is the best advice you have to give? Baby, I Believe In You
16. If you could change your name, you would change it to:-Mrs Right
17. Thought for the day: This One's for the Children
18. How I would like to die: Dirty Dancing
19. My soul's present condition: Keep on Smilin'
20. My motto: Don't Cry

One final note....I think I am going to use THURSDAYS for my edition of "The kids said WHAT?" You have a week to stalk up on their juicy bits of random. Have fun!

Would you play?

2009-07-22T11:41:00.003-04:00

My kids crack my ass up every single day. The random stuff that comes out of their mouth blows my mind. Since they never shut up. Mallory has even started talking in my sleep which of course I know because she is always in my freaking bed.

So I was thinking.....I know mine are not the ONLY ingenious children who say the most random things, hard to believe I know because they are so fabulous. Any of you feel the need to document their little nuggets of wisdom ala blog carnival? Ive always envied MckMama and her NMM (Now NMKM) and the owner of Wordless Wed....my desire for a button and a Mr Linky is wanting to just burst free. So, who would play? Does not even have to be YOUR kid. Who wants to name it? What day is free so as not to pee on anyone else's carnival?

Questions? Comments? Concerns?

Reason #233 Why Boys Are Dumb

2009-07-21T09:06:00.006-04:00

I got a new toy over the weekend. It's pink, it's 10 inches and it brings me great pleasure.....want to know what it is?

Now that your minds are out of the gutter you little pervs let me tell you about my new toy! It appears that ~~Joe and I~~ I have a problem sharing. Each night after our kids are in bed I would plop down on the couch and proceed to monopolize the laptop for as long as I felt need to do so. I'm a busy girl, what with building my virtual zoo on facebook and chatting with my mommy board friends. Now granted we have a desktop in another room but it is very far away from the TV and neither of us would sacrifice our shows to go use the crappy computer in the other room. Finally Joe ~~got tired of my bitching~~ and decided that we could get my pretty pink dell mini!!

On to the reason why boys are dumb....Seriously....why can guys not ASK FOR HELP when they need it? Why do they think they can do everything all by themselves? I swear I want to tell him that even though he CANT fix our broken dishwasher he is still good in bed....the 2 are NOT related. I remember back when I was pregnant with Pierce and we had just moved into our house.....he came home one day with tons of pipes mumbling some nonsense about re-doing some GAS pipes in the basement. I picked my poodle up and headed to my mom's for the day and told him to call me when he was done if he did not blow up the house.

I digress. This issue is about my pretty pink laptop and how I needed it hooked up to the Internet NOW. Now Joe is a smart guy and he actually does know how to set up wireless on a new computer....he did it with the soon to no longer be shared laptop and I was not at all concerned that he would not be able to get my new one set up. Until he couldn't. Apparently doing the normal thing that you do to set up a laptop to wireless was not working. That was the first night. The second night I told him that he should just call the Dell 24 hour customer service line. An hour later he is still sitting there looking at my laptop. Whenever Joe is fixing something or putting it together (Pierce's bike, a table that we bought, ect) I can guarantee that 2 things will come out of his mouth at some point. "This doesn't make any sense" and "sonofabitch". I again encourage him to call Dell to which he told me that I could call them if I wanted to. mmmmmmkay. FINALLY he concedes and gives them a call.

10 minutes later my laptop is up and running. Apparently my screen resolution was all jacked up and there was a little box that could not be seen that needed checked.

10 minutes later.

Boys are dumb.

(He also told me that the first thing he was going to do once he took posession of the old laptop was remove my Twilight wallpaper and replace it with some hot chick background. When he wasnt looking I replaced it with a picture of me. HA)

The Parade of Homes makes me sad, how I spent my weekend blind, and I heart New Kids on the Block

2009-07-20T08:14:00.003-04:00

This past week has been a bit on the crazy side. I did not post much last week and I finally figured out why. Not only was I crazy busy but a little crisis hit my family last week that pretty much took a big steamy one on my desire to try and come up with anything fun for the blog. I did not post about it here in my desire to pretend all is well in the world of me. Anyways, last Saturday my mom had a TIA which is a mini stroke. It sounds much worse than it is but it still sucked. She was taken to the ER after the left side of her body went numb and she could not walk very well. By the time I got there that morning they had ruled out major stroke and her symptoms were going away. A TIA has stroke like symptoms but there are no permanent problems like with a major stroke. She was not admitted, they sent her home and she has since had some tests with her Dr and nothing has shown up. So, I spent most of last week calling her every 5 seconds to check on her, hung out with her on Monday and finally just as of this weekend have chilled out a little. I was even able to toss her a couple "don't have a stroke mom" jokes. Now my biggest concern is that her and my step dad who is retired are home together for ANOTHER week of marital bonding and I hope that they don't kill each other

While I was not calling my mommy every 2 seconds I had a few dates this past week. None were with my husband so I did not have to put out which is always a bonus. On Wed I went with BFF Brandy to see the new Harry Potter movie which was FANTASTIC. Also fantastic were the 2 sangria's I sucked down prior to the movie. Even more fantastic is that I did not have to leave the movie to go potty one time....yeah for my bladder.

Thursday's date was with BFF Jenn to our annual buzz kill called the Parade of Homes. We spent 2 hours hating people we don't know for having houses WAY cooler than ours. Some of my favorite's this year....a theater room with a planetarium type ceiling, huge walk in showers with no doors and heated floors, wine cellars and vacuums built into secret holes in the wall. Even I would run the sweeper if I could just pull a hose out of the wall in each room. After pretending I was rich I went home to clean cat vomit off of the floor and wipe up my non ceramic kitchen counters.

Friday. Sigh, oh Friday. Friday morning as I lay in bed with my ~~evil~~ precious daughter.....the one who needs to START SLEEPING IN HER OWN BED I reached over and pulled a "mom". By that I mean I went to swipe a booger out of her nose with my finger. And she put her finger in my eye. In her effort to swat my hand away she stabbed me in the eye with her pointy little finger. I swear I saw fireworks. I had to call Joe because I could not see, make him come home and we had to go to the ER. I had lasik not even a year ago and I was so scared that she jacked up my "flap" which is the cut they have to make to fix your eye. 2 hours later I leave with a diagnosis of 2 corneal abrasions, some eye drops, and an RX for vicodin. Really? Vicodin? They also tried to give me a tetanus shot which I declined....it was a finger nail, not a rusty nail (Nurse Heather, Nurse Janeen, want to weigh in on why they tried to stick me?) The last time I took that I had a BABY cut out of me. Now, that is not the biggest crisis of Friday. The biggest crisis of Friday was that I had a date with BFF Liz to watch the web cast of the New Kids on the Block concert at her house. And I was NOT missing it. She had to come and get me (thanks!!) since I could not see out of one eye and take me back to her place. The concert was AWESOME. Even out of one eye. My vision is STILL not back to 100%...it was better on Sat (meaning I could open the other eye)but still not perfect. Hopefully in a few more days. So, how was YOUR week?

Because I got nothing today.......

2009-07-15T09:54:00.005-04:00

How about some pics? These were shot by our wedding photographer Karla Banks!!

A Plethora Of Randomness

2009-07-13T10:16:00.004-04:00

So I thought about a blog post today but really I have nothing going on up in my head but a whole lot of random. I will share it with you. You're Welcome

This past weekend we went to the Kalahari which is a super awesome indoor water park up by Lake Erie. Pierce looooooooves the Kalahari, loves it so much that it is usually a fight when we have to leave. Some observations from our time there...

Mallory spent a week bitching at the beach. She did however enjoy the water park. She played in the toddler area and even let herself get wet. At one point she even sat at the very edge of the wave pool. Does anyone see the irony in this?

Why do teenagers (and in some cases adults) feel the need to wear the smallest bikini ever to a WATER PARK. Do you want your boobs to pop out? I fear that in most cases the answer to this is yes.

Some people who wear bikinis should not. Period

I am ~~OLD~~ not as young as I used to be. I don't recall needing to take an Aleve after a day of water park fun when I was younger. Water slides hurt your back.

The lazy river is meant to be LAZY. I wanted to drown asshole kids who were running through it with no flotation device to be seen

Mallory was supposed to start pre-school today. Keep in mind that pre-school is down the hall in the same building from where her toddler class is. She knew she was supposed to go to a new class today and she talked a good game over the weekend. Today she told me that she would go in 5 days. She was dropped off in the toddler class so as not to traumatize her. And by her I mean her new teachers

My sister and I have been in a disagreement for a few months that involves her treatment of our mother. That is putting it nicely. Today I tried to talk to her over text about how we needed to act like adults around her and not get into some screaming match that will stress out our mom. I asked her if she thought we could manage that and she told me to go fuck myself. I guess that answers that question.

I have 2 dates this week and neither of them are with my husband. I'm kind of excited because since they are not with my husband I wont have to put out. The first is on Wed with BFF B. I am going to see the much anticipated new Harry Potter movie. I cannot freaking wait! Friday I have a date with BFF Liz....we are going to the New Kids on the Block concert. Okay, we are streaming it live into her big screen TV but don't think I still wont throw my panties at them and lick the screen. I'm sure BFF Liz wont mind so long as I am not licking Donnie.

Happy Monday!

Mallory vs. The Toy

2009-07-09T08:36:00.004-04:00

Yesterday I came home to quite a circus of drama. I could hear the screaming as soon as I got out of the car. There is nothing quite like coming home from work to total and complete chaos is there?

So picture it with me. I open the door and step in the house. Mallory is sitting on the chair screaming her face off. A toy hamster is stuck to the side of her head

This toy was bought at a Cracker Barrel on the way home from DC when we realized that we pretty much had nothing for her as a present. It is a stupid hamster that runs around in a ball, or you can take it out of the ball and let it go. The kids named it Rhino after the hamster in the movie Bolt.

Apparently Mallory decided to see what happened if she stuck it to the side of her head. Good thing she has pretty to fall back on right? By the time I entered the shit storm Joe had taken the hamster part off and all that was left stuck to her head was the battery pack that also contained the wheels. And she was freaking out. She begins to scream at me that she "got Rhino stuck on her head" and Pierce (always extremely helpful in these situations) was telling her things like "I wonder if it will stay there forever" and "we are gonna have to cut it out"

Well, big brother was right in this case. We did have to cut it out. You would have thought someone was coming to steal a kidney the way she acted. Joe had to hold her down while I got as close to her scalp as I could and did not poke her eye out.

Now one would think that after the evil toy was no longer attached to her head and mommy hugs and kisses were given that all would be well with the world yes? No. I have mentioned my daughter's temper tantrums before. Last night was no exception. She proceeded to go into the toy room, throw her self on the floor and freak out like she was on fire. Every now and then I would hear her throw a toy or kick something. I generally just let her go when she does this but she really needed to get settled and eat dinner. I asked her if she wants to call Maw Maw and tell her about what happened. She screamed at me NO. Helpy McHelperson chimes in with "I DO" Sigh

Thankfully you cannot tell where I had to cut the hair out. For your viewing pleasure.....

Final Score- Evil Hamster Toy:1 Mallory:0

Where Was This Little Gem In My Ohio State Days?

2009-07-07T10:09:00.005-04:00

I came across this taste of awesomeness while on vacation last week. I'm sure that some of you have heard the old wives's tales as far as how to avoid a hangover after a wild night out. My personal favorite was always 2 tylenol's and a glass of milk before bed. And by milk I mean without the Kahlua.

There is also the mix of a raw egg with tomato juice....this probably would have worked for me also since it would have caused me to vomit the contents of my stomach. Don't forget about that cup of black coffee to cure your morning woes.

Well forget all those ideas kids because now you can just pick up a pack of The Chaser and be on your drunken merry way!

Now back ~~when I was a drunken sorority girl~~ in my glory days I could have totally used this! I cannot tell you how many times I peeled myself out of my boyfriend's bed feeling like I needed to shave my tongue and stumbled to class. Please take note that I said my BOYFRIEND's bed and not some random dude. While I may have been a lush I was not a slut.

Once I saw this I thought it was GENIUS....I mean this stuff should come in welcome packet's for new college students. Imagine how much more productive we could all be (not just those college kids) if after a night of bad choices we did not have to feel like total shit the next day. I can honestly say that I have had maybe 2 hangovers since becoming a mother and they were the worst 2 hangovers of my LIFE. I could have handled hours of Mickey Mouse like a champ had I not been hungover. But I digress. Let's take a look at how it works!

The formula in Chaser helps to absorb the toxins in alcohol that cause the unpleasant side effects of your drinking and passes them through your system. The best part is it does not effect your ability to actually get wasted! Whoo HOO!

Two caplets last for three hours of drinking, or for up to six drinks. If you drink over a longer period, or more than six drinks, take two more caplets. I personally would have probably needed a box per weekend. At least my sophomore year

Chaser (and The House of No Sleep) recommend not drinking in excess and never drinking and driving (duh, that is why we had pledges in the sorority and why I have a husband now) You can find this miracle in a box at your local pharmacy located next to "Skank Be Gone, and Beer Goggle Cleanser

Please drink responsibly. And by that I mean don't spill your beverage

I can run, but I cannot hide

2009-07-06T09:26:00.004-04:00

Sigh. I wish I was still at the beach. Joe and Pierce wish we were still at the beach. Mallory, not so much. I'm also back at work today digging through one meeeelion emails. Because of that I am going to just leave you with this little nugget of goodness.

How on earth did I spend an entire week at my in laws beach house (not to mention 5 or so other times spent here) and not notice THIS little bastard hanging out above the kitchen sink

The constant goose eye is starting to make me nervous. I know the little demons are just waiting to take me down. Must talk to mother in law and find out who's side she is on.

Dear So and So.....Vacation Edition

2009-07-03T15:54:00.008-04:00

On my last full day of soaking up sunshine in beautiful Holden Beach, NC I thought I would take the time to address the many people/things that made this visit awesome....as well as a few random things that I have waiting for me back home

Want to play along? Go link up with Kat. She is cool for a variety of reasons and her husband just got a promotion in the military so she doubly deserves a shout-out this week

Dear Holden Beach,
I heart you. I truly do. You have given us awesome weather this week....the water has been awesome too. Mallory does ask me to pass on a little message for her but please note....this reflects nothing on my love for you.....Mallory would like you to know that your constant waves in, waves out drama really sucks. She thinks you are scary and would appreciate you keeping the movement to a minimum next year. Pierce also asked me to pass along that he had an AWESOME time riding the boogie board and jumping your waves. Many thanks for wearing him out every single day
Until Next Year,
Cammie

Dearest 6AM,
I cannot tell you how awesome it has been not to see you one time this week. Apparently the secret to forever leaving The House of No Sleep is to move to the beach and play in the ocean every day. I don't mean to be a bitch, but I really don't like you 6AM....
See You Next Week,
Cammie

Dear Pierce and Mallory,
Mommy hopes that you had an awesome time this week. We tried new things (putt putt for you sissy, sleeping till 8 for both of you)and you pretty much behaved ALL WEEK. Pierce, you seem to have picked up that nothing really all that exciting goes on between the hours of 6AM and 8AM....what are the chances of you keeping this up when we get home? Maybe just on weekends? No? Suck. Mallory my beach hating princess.....I'm so glad that on your LAST FLIPPING DAY HERE you decided to accompany me down to the "wet sand". You let me hold you at the very edge of the water let the water get your toe toes. Next year let's try and get your knees wet. Please keep the fighting to a minimum on day one of our drive home tomorrow. Mommy does not want to have to break out the duck tape.
Love, Mommy

Dear Self,
Way to be a dumbass and decide that you don't need the camera on your last day here. Suuuuuure, we don't need the camera on the last day because you have taken hundreds of pics down at the beach this week. We did not need to capture that last day. The one wear Mallory actually let the water touch her, the one where we dug a HUGE puddle for the kids to play in....the one wwhere we caught some tiny little fish and put them in that puddle making Mallory bust out "The Sissy Squeal" which is one of my favorite sounds. Good job slacker.
Smacking Myself In the Head,
Cammie

Dear Betty's Waterfront Restaurant,
Oh how I love you. Thank you so much for the 5lbs you helped me gain in one meal. I love that your signature dish is a pound and a half of really BIG crab legs. I love feeling like a messy disgusting pig as I suck down every last bite dipped in butter....I will send you the bill for my stint placement.
Forever Your Biggest Fan
Cammie

Dear Makeup, hair product and on occasion bra and panties,
Thanks for taking a back seat in my life this week. I love beach living that even WITHOUT you I'm still prettier than some of the other people making bad fashion choices down here. I loved lounging around the beach house and on the deck with the neighbors having NO clue that I was flaunting my girly business under my cover up. Being as I DO have to go back to work on Monday we will be reacquainted soon. My co-workers will appreciate it.
Enjoying the Breeze,
Cammie

Dear Tivo,
Sweet Lord how we have missed you. Growing up in these times my children do not realize that when WE were little we had to put up with what was on, when it was on...not to mention that whole "change the channel with pliers once the knob fell off" deal. This week we were forced to endure constant episodes of Oswald and Pinky Dinky Do before it was time to head down to the beach on top of listening to Mallory bitch about wanting to watch Diego or Mickey Mouse. These kids would not have lasted 5 seconds in the 80s
Missing You,
TV Whore and Whore-lets

Dear 4 bottles of wine I picked up, the 4 more I will pick up in Mt Airy tomorrow and the bottle of bloody mary mix ~~Joe~~ the alcohol fairy brought while I was napping,
I love you, Let's make out when we get home
Yours Till My Liver Falls Out
Cammie

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-01T18:28:00.004-04:00

2004

2005

2006

2007

2009

(We went to the mountains in 2008)

Did You Know That The Ocean Is The Entrance To Hell?

2009-06-29T20:53:00.007-04:00

That is the only reason I can come up with that Mallory hates it with such a passion. Today was a repeat of yesterday and the day before....Pierce my little water baby is wearing Joe out wanting to be in the water non stop and Princess Scowls A-Lot sits under the umbrella and looks at the water like it is the entrance to the pits of hell

Today she actually let me take her to the VERY edge of where the water was coming to a stop. I could have done a back flip and not dropped her as hard as she was clinging to me. After about 10 minutes I stopped torturing her and she ran back to the umbrella. We called my mom from the beach and she told her "I hate the ocean Maw Maw".

Meanwhile Pierce is the beach pimp. He already has a little girlfriend that is here for the week and they hold hands and jump the waves together. Pierce would keep Joe in the water all. day. long. if we did not make him stop for lunch. He was so tired that he actually slept until 8:15 today which only happens when I give them NyQuil the night before. Am I kidding? Am I?

"Cammie, where are all of your pics??" Oh, you want to know where pics are? Well ~~Joe~~ someone did not pack the USB cord with the camera bag which sucks as much as a goose attack...had myself all ready to upload pics every day and spend time editing them but that is not going to happen. So hear are some random ones from my phone.

Ready to go down to the beach.

Beach? No Thanks....baby pool on the deck? Rock On!!

We took them putt putting tonight....Mallory's first time.

"I hate the ocean and I hate you for bringing me here"

The coolest part of today? Realizing that everywhere you go you can find someone reading a Twilight book....like the middle aged lady on the beach nose into New Moon!

The best part of today? We found a restaurant with a raw bar and I sucked down a dozen raw oysters......YUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She Sells Sea Shells

2009-06-27T16:57:00.003-04:00

Hello from fabulous Holden Beach, North Carolina! We made it here without having to strap a single child to the top of the van! Hooray!!

We make our trek from Ohio to NC in 2 days because frankly I cannot deal with being trapped in such a confined space with my children for longer than the 6 hours on day one. I realllllly wanted to stop for some duck tape around 8PM last night when instead of falling asleep like sweet angels in the car they kept freaking talking all the way till 11PM

We got here around 1 today and after unloading the car decided to take a quick trip down to the water which is right across the street from the beach house. While walking up to the walkway Mallory asked me if she could have a coconut on the beach. Awwww, how sweet....she is going to LOVE the beach

If my daughter used the colorful language that I am fond of I think she would have said the following....."WHAT THE HELL IS THAT AND NO WAY AM I PUTTING MY ASS IN IT!!!!" To say she was not impressed with the ocean is a mild understatement. Add to the fact that she was running on no nap and I had quiet a witchy little thing with me. While Pierce ran around joyfully shouting that he loves the beach and loves the ocean and was having a grand old time Witchy McBrat scowled at the water, at me, at the other people on the beach and told me that she was NOT going to get wet. Bet me. I picked her up and carried her to the VERY edge of where the water was coming up and put her down on her feet. The water barely touched her toes when she went screaming holy hell back up to the blankets and told me to "get her outta there" She did find a bit of fun in collecting shells and putting them in her bucket and that may be the ONLY way we get her back down to the sand.

Made a quick stop to the store to stalk up on ~~wine~~ necessities and we are taking it easy tonight.

Tomorrow it is back to torturing one kid and building sand castles with the other

Dear So and So

2009-06-26T10:15:00.005-04:00

I almost forgot that it was the day to send out my ~~hate mail~~ love notes to all who have blessed me this past week. If you want to play along head on over to Kat's place and link up.

Dear Kat,

I heart you, I heart your blog. But I hate you just a tiny bit right now for being too busy to blog because you are "roaming the English countryside" rub it in why don't you,
Love, Jealous in Ohio

Dear Joe,
I don't feel good today and I'm trying to keep this in mind when I find myself being annoyed at you calling me 18 times today while trying to get stuff ready to leave after work. Really though, you needed my advice on a swim suit for Pierce? You are there, I am at work, make a decision and move on

Love, your cranky wife

Dear Sister In Law,
Thanks for pissing Joe off on father's day. You pissed off one sister on Halloween so I am guessing that 4th of July goes to the last sister. For what it's worth, Joe does not get THAT angry all that often and you made him wreck the car in the garage pissed and that takes a lot.
Hating Drama That I Do Not Cause, Cammie

Dear Kallie the Cat,
I love that you have started to sleep with us. I'm not sure you realize just how lucky you are that Scarlet allows this. However, if you continue to kneed my stomach for 20 minutes to make what is already squishy fit your comfort needs I will send you down to Florida to make friends with the serial cat killer.

Love, Mommy

My Darling Mallory,
I know you are scared of thunder storms but I promise they will NOT kill you. Kindly remove yourself from my ass

Love, Mommy

Dear Michael Jackson,
While you did get a bit strange over the years, I will always remember that Thriller was the first video I ever saw on MTV. You are an icon of my childhood and your death will be the Elvis of my generation

Rest In Piece, Cammie

Dear HTML,
Typing you out gets on my nerves. which explains the lack of consistency between paragraphs on this post. This is me not caring.
Love Cammie

A plague upon my house

2009-06-25T14:03:00.006-04:00

You know what sucks? Pierce getting strep. You know what else sucks? ME getting strep. You know what sucks the most? Pierce and I getting strep 2 days before we leave for vacation and just waiting for Mallory and Joe to be struck down

Yes the sickie ickies have descended upon The House Of No Sleep. No doubt caused by a goose somewhere. Pierce was sent home with a fever on Wed, diagnosis strep. I stayed home with him yesterday, started feeling a little nasty as the day went on so I took myself to the Dr. He handed me my amoxocillan and sent me on my way.

One thing about sick Cammie is that I do NOT screw around with sleep. I took the kids to school today and came home and slept until noon. I sound SUPER sexy and manly today...kind of like my name should be Marge and I should be driving a bus somewhere.

We leave tomorrow for vacation....we are beach bound and I am SO excited to play with the kids at the beach...praying that Mallory and Joe don't get sick in the next few days.

Please excuse my lack of comments these last few days....I was cuddling with my sick boy yesterday and today I'm just kind of laying on the couch feeling all BLAH. Since ~~I have a sick obsession with my laptop~~ I have a hard time being unconnected to the Internet I will be blogging away from the beach while we are gone!

Since I am fresh out of wittiness today I will leave you with a Pierce funny. Yesterday we were at the Dr reading a book in the waiting room and the story mentioned a housekeeper. Pierce asked me what a housekeeper was. I told him it was someone who cooked and cleaned and took care of the house and that mommy wishes SHE had one. His response....We do.....DADDY! God I love that kid.

Bras Are Dumb

2009-06-22T21:15:00.005-04:00

As I sit here typing this morning the under wire in my bra is poking out and is stabbing me in the side of my boob. Yep, another bra bites the dust. Something I hate just as much as WEARING a bra is shopping for one. I hate spending that much money on an article of clothing that just makes me miserable anyways. 2 things that I take off as soon as I get home.....shoes (okay 3 things) and bra

So I started thinking.....if bras were just a little bit cooler, or they had multiple uses maybe I would not hate them so much. That of course led me on a search for the perfect bra

Exhibit A

A place to keep your goldfish. This serves more than one purpose because not only can you keep your goldfish close, but you can also get a little extra as far as size goes. I personally would choose piranha as a friendly reminder to Joe as to who is in charge. Careful not to pop them, because then you have dead fish.

Speaking of getting groped.....for those of you who DO want to be groped at or for you single ladies that encourage it we have exhibit B

This bra is PERFECT if your man needs a little extra help finding the girls. I would change this one a bit too......red means stop....green means go....and yellow means hurry up because something better is about to come on TV

Now if Joe wanted a guarantee to get some every single day he could invest in Exhibit C.....the bra made off 1 million dollars worth of diamonds. It may not be comfortable but man is it pretty.....and I keep telling him that my boobs are priceless.

In my search for awesome bras I did come across a few that were not so awesome. They were so not awesome that most I could not blog about while at work in fear of my boss walking by while I'm posting the pic of the bra made out of bacon. Use your imagination kids.....bacon is yummy.....but not raw and not in a size DD.

Here is one that I CAN share.....but what can I say about this bra other than it is just fowl.....hardee har har

Now if you are like me and you just dream of living in a world where letting the girls fly is acceptable (hmmm, I would SO be an excellent member of a tribe somewhere.....oh wait, no computer....never mind)then you can use your old bras for more creative ideas. Such as a place to plant your garden

Or make a pretty handbag out of it

I had a few other ideas that did not come with pictures so I will leave you to your imagination.....sling shot bra, goose choking bra....and my personal favorite.....lasso a hot vampire bra

The possibilities are ENDLESS ladies (and drag queens). Don't let your bra suffocate you.....free the girls and free the world.......

Random Messages to Random People

2009-06-19T09:19:00.003-04:00

My friend Kat over at Three Bedroom Bungalow has started a fun new topic for venting out to all of the people/things that are pushing your buttons. Since I tend to find venting SUPER therapeutic I figure I will play along.

Dear Joe,
You have been out of town this week and I have really missed you. Even though it IS a work trip and not a vacation you still have not had to wipe anyone's ass but your own. Incidentally...when you told me that you were stopping in Chicago to visit your buddy ON THE WAY home from ST LOUIS and spending the night I did not pay much attention to the geography of said locations. Guess what, you are busted. When you get home tomorrow I am clocking out.

Love, Your Tired Wife

Dear Yorkie,
You are over a year old now. If you do not stop crapping in the house 5 minutes after I let you inside I just may kill you. One more thing--when you eat all of the little bone pieces out of your food and leave the square pieces and whine until I fill your already full bowl up so you can pick out more little bone pieces....that gets on my nerves. You are just as bad as the kids.

Love, Mommy

Dear Cat #1,
Cleaning up your hair balls every day is getting tiresome. Kudos though for having just enough aim to throw up all over Pierce's flip flop. I'm sure that took talent

Love, Mommy

Dear Mallory,
I don't think you or your bother will EVER know how much I love you both. However, when I tuck you into bed smelling so clean from your bath, kiss you goodnight and close your door Mommy does not want to see you again until much later. Imagine ~~how I soiled my panties~~how high I jumped last night when about an hour after I put you to bed you started screaming like someone had set your bed on fire. Oh my poor sweet princess....did your ~~stupid ass "moon in my room" that I wish Santa never brought~~precious LUNA turn off? Like it does EVERY NIGHT? What a crisis. I know this must be horrible for you but please don't scream like that again or I will throw Luna out your window

Love, your incontinent Mommy

Dear Pierce,
Mommy's sweet boy. You are getting so big and so so smart. It appears that yesterday you learned something about weather. When you looked at me ~~like I was the biggest idiot you know~~this morning and told me that "The sound of thunder is NOT Jesus bowling in Heaven Mommy, it is ACTUALLY the sound of 2 clouds hitting each other" I was so proud of you, and just a little sad that you are getting too smart to be lied to.

Love, Mommy

Dear Weather On My Drive in This Morning,
SUCK IT!! I don't enjoy dodging lightning bolts. I also don't enjoy seeing my kids FAH-Reak out like we are going to die any second (although I did kind of enjoy watching Mallory try and pick her cup up with her elbows while her hands were over hear ears)Please move on by tomorrow....I have a outdoor appointment with a photographer for the kids tomorrow and I don't want to cancel it.

Cammie

Someone piss in your Wheaties this morning? Want to play along? Go visit Kat and LINK UP!!

Teenage girls are EVIL

2009-06-18T15:41:00.005-04:00

How do you I know this you ask? Being the mother of a 3 year old daughter I cannot possibly know this. Well let me tell you HOW I know this.

My poor Edward.....please note the following which is taken from a site that I stalk...

Rob Pattinson is quickly learning the hazards of filming a movie in New York City - he was hit by a taxi cab on Thursday while running away from hysterical fans!

RadarOnline.com witnessed the Twilight star get clipped by a cab around noon in front of the Strand Bookstore on Broadway and 12th Street.

He was not hurt.

The 23-year-old London-born actor had been inside most of the morning filming scenes for his new movie Remember Me.

A team of five security guards were trying to fend off a crowd of teenaged girls when Rob was leaving the bookstore.

It was pouring rain as they tried to hustle him quickly across the busy street to the safety of his trailer.

Some of the teen girls were hysterical and Rob rushed across the road. As he did so, a taxi grazed him. The cabbie slammed on his brakes as soon as he realized what had happened.

It appeared as if the cab hit Rob in the hip. He stood there for a moment looking stunned. The bodyguard next to him checked if he was okay and then screamed at the fans: "You see what you did, you almost killed him!"

Pattinson will be shooting around Manhattan for the next four weeks

SERIOUSLY.....all of you stupid ~~Edward~~ Rob Pattinson obsessed teen girls almost killed MY boyfriend. Simmer down and dont make me sick the Voluti on you. And how did ALICE not see this coming?? If you are going to stalk him please do it like an adult and resort to peaking in his windows at night and sending him snips of your hair.

KIDDING.......or AM I?

See you next month

2009-06-17T08:15:00.004-04:00

That is about the time I will get done visiting all of you who commented yesterday. Whew, being the featured blogger at SITS was fun!!! I am going to spend most of the day getting back to everyone!

Did you stick around? I noticed I have ~~a few~~ tons of new followers! I can't see my follow list from work (stupid firewalls) so let me know if you stuck around for the madness!

I promise to get back to normal blogging tomorrow...but for now I'm off to check YOU all out.

Ahhhh, The Attention is back one ME

2009-06-16T02:21:00.008-04:00

Today I get to be the featured blogger over at The Secret Is In The Sauce. If you are visiting from there WELCOME!!! After last week's "The Week of Joe" I'm thrilled to have the focus back on me where it belongs.

True to Cammie form, I do not follow directions well and totally forgot to change out the dirty words in my 3 favorite posts so Heather had to use some PG ones until I got around to doing that. Now that I have done that HERE are my 3 best (until Heather gets around to changing it over at SITS)Pretty Please go check them out! They are a better glimpse into my blogging personality! Feel free to follow me on Twitter!!

The Tale of the Dragon and the Queen

Respect Your Periods

Mommies Gone Wild

DC Trip Part 2

2009-06-14T08:50:00.005-04:00

We are finally home but not without a bit of drama of course. I swear I am like a magnet for it

The rest of our week was just as chaotic as the first few days. We were going non stop from about 6AM to 8PM each day. When they said we would be exhausted by the end of the week they were NOT kidding

The days are starting to run together so I am hoping I get this right. Wed morning we toured this random little jet called AIRFORCE 2!! That was SO.FREAKING.COOL!!! We got to sit in the cockpit, and in VP Biden's seat on the plane. While we were there at the base we also saw Airforce 1 come in to land but President Obama was not on it.

From there we went to the Pentagon and had a tour there. The coolest part of that was being able to spend some time in the 9/11 memorial there. It was very serene there, from the outside we could see the side of the building where the plane crashed, we stood in the area that was covered with debris

We also went to Arlington Cemetery to get a VIP seat for the changing of the guard. That was cool but even COOLER was getting to go into their quarters where they get ready to go out to the tomb. We got to see them get prepped to head out and talked to them a bit too.

Thursday was random do what we wanted day! Our escorts took us to see the White House and then over to the Washington Monument. We also spent about an hour in one of the museums...saw some cool stuff there. Thursday night was the formal banquet where the 6 winners were given a HUGE brass statue that had to be shipped to us, and some other award type things. The banquet was nice but I thought I was going to puke when I had to "escort" Joe down the stairs, through the entire crowd and up on the stage to be introduced.

Friday morning we got up at 4:15 to catch our 5:30 flight. Which got delayed. 4 times. Then got cancelled. Seriously...by this time I was SO tired that I just wanted to get home to my kids. So. We rented a car and drove 6 hours home. Seeing as I don't like to fly anyways it was not a bad deal for me.

This trip was AWESOME. It was a once in a lifetime experience and I am not sure I can ever go back to DC and just see it as a civilian. It was so cool to get the VIP treatment all week. I am so so proud of Joe for being one of the top 6 Airman in the Air National Guard.

That said....It was a long week of being nice to everyone, watching my mouth and kissing the butt's of super important people. That is exhausting. I told Joe that once we got back into Ohio that "The Week Of Joe" was over and all attention was to be focused back on ME. We have been married for 6 years and he had 6 days of all about him. That is an average of 1 day a year. Not too bad right?

Joe coming off of Airforce 2 pretending to be the President

Airforce 1 landing

If you look close you can see the difference in the coloring of the wall, that is where the building had to be rebuilt
More awards

Abe Lincoln's hat on display at the museum.

THE Ruby Slippers Some important guy lives here
So the squirrels in DC are super nice. This little guy was eating a snickers bar out of my hands. So very cute. Much nicer than geese.

2009-06-09T07:48:00.006-04:00

Hello from DC!!! Just wanted to throw some pics up and tell you about our trip so far. We got in around 1 on Saturday. It was ~~a 2 xanax flight~~ not a bad flight at all. We got to our SUPER awesome hotel that is right on the Potomac and has all sorts of cool restaurants and shops around. We had nothing scheduled until Sunday so we just walked around and checked the place out, had some awesome dinner and went to bed.

Sunday I was tortured by being sent to a baseball game. Here is a picture showing JUST how exciting this game was

Add that to the fact that I ~~wanted to dig my eyes out with a fork~~ don't care much for baseball and it was 200 degrees out I was not sad when it was over. Sunday night we got to meet up with one of my sorority sisters who lives in this area so I could smooch all over her 4 month old baby. I think I ovulated once or twice while loving on her. Thank God for vasectomies.

Yesterday started the whirl wind madness....we were on a bus to the Pentagon by 8AM. We met some guy who I know was important but unless you are in the military and hear these names all of the time you don't so much know him. After the Pentagon we went to the Air National Guard Museum, toured that and then headed over to the State House to tour THAT. While we are there we walked 5 feet in front of Supreme Court nominee Justice Sotomoyer and her broken ankle.

We got back to the hotel around 5 ~~so that I could cut my feet off at the ankles~~to chill for a bit. One quick banquet here in the hotel and then we were done around 8.

This morning, woke up to storms, got all gussied up for ANOTHER award banquet only to get downstairs and realize that the other spouses decided to skip the morning practice and meeting with another ~~random~~ important guy and just show up at the banquet here in a few hours. So here I sit!! After the award banquet we get to tour Air Force 2 ( I think that is the one for the VP) and tonight have dinner at a REALLY important guy's house...I paid attention this time....he is in charge of the entire Air National Guard for the country. And I forget his name. The rest of the week is more tours, meetings with ~~random~~ important people.

Apparently my kids are NOT rocking in a corner somewhere crying for me...they are actually having a GOOD time and Mallory has only cried when I call. Oops. I on the other hand am having a harder time than I expected being away from them and probably wont want to do this again for awhile. Enjoy some pics!

Me looking like a cow at the baseball game....

Joe pretending to argue some important legislature at the Pentagon

Joe and the other award winners at the Pentagon

The rotunda at the State House

no description needed I'm sure

In case you are new around here or came aboard AFTER Joe won this award....My husband was selected as the Air National Guard program manager of the year for the Nation. Pretty cool! This trip is where he gets his award!!

I am the bestest most awesome-est wife EVER if I do this....right?

2009-06-05T11:46:00.005-04:00

So BFF Liz has informed this this morning that the New Kids on the Block just so happen to be in DC at the same time as ME! Quelle' Coincedence......I had the AWESOME idea to buy tickets and surprise Joe with them. Oh, he would be surprised. I could tell him that they were for HIM.....you know, cuz he won this big award. How thoughtful of me to surprise him with concert tickets while we are away. Wonder what would happen if I actually did this.

I mean that would really only benefit him because I would get all hot and bothered at the concert and.....well, you know. Again, win win for him. I am SUCH a good wife. hmmmmmm

No, I did not actually DO this. Not that I did not think about it. Still waiting on him to call me back so I can ask him if we can go and listen to him say hells no

Off to DC tomorrow!! I will update when I can, pray my little one does not pine away for her mommy while we are gone.....the big one is like "BYE, See you when you get back

PS I had a request from Sara for additional chapters to the "I Hate Geese" saga....I will have to get into this when I get back but the ~~bastard~~ office geese are gone for the season. And no I did not kill them.

A Conversation With Pierce

2009-06-04T08:33:00.004-04:00

Pierce is one of those kids that will ask you the most RANDOM questions. One's that you don't so much have an answer for so you have to make something up fairly quickly so he does not realize that you do NOT know everything. He also tends to bust out with some interesting thoughts from time to time and those thoughts tend to take him interesting places. This morning was one of those occasions

This morning Mallory was sitting up on the counter and while I was putting her hair up she was holding a lemon and she smelled it. I asked her if she could smell it and Pierce busts out with the following:

"Mommy if you smell something that means it smells bad"

"No bud, if you smell something it can smell either good OR bad and if something smells bad sometimes we say it stinks"

"oh, well the lemon does not stink"

"nope, lemons smell good"

"well you know what DOES stink?"

"what?"

"Michigan"

I thought I was going to die laughing. See, here in Ohio we take our college football pretty seriously and as a graduate from The Ohio State University this makes his mommy proud.

Go Bucks!

134

2009-06-03T09:39:00.003-04:00

Wow, I have 134 followers. I feel like I need to declare today National Leave Cammie A Comment Day because I know that out of all 134 of you only about 20 of you fail to kill a fairy. Not sure what I am talking about? Go read my comment box.

I heart ALL 134 of you and I want to PLAY with you all! I can no longer see my followers here at work (darn filter software gives me a big old HEY WE ARE WATCHING YOU every time I pull up my blog)so come on out of lurk mode so I can see who you are. I know I tend to be a bit scary at times but I promise that (for the most part) I am nice. I don't bite. much.

Don't kill the fairies guys. They are people too.

I have been incognito for a few days now and I have realized that it is because I am a bit stressed about my upcoming trip to DC this weekend. I'm pretty excited about 6 days away with my husband but I'm starting to stress leaving the kiddos. Add that to the fact that I hate to fly and I'm a bit frazzled. I'm hoping that once we actually GET there and I find out that my 3 year old is not rocking in a corner crying for her mommy (I know Pierce will be fine, he is actually excited to spend 6 days with his cousins)I will calm down a bit. If I DO find out that 3 year old is not rocking in a corner crying for her mommy I will probably just stay hammered all week and try not to throw up on anyone important to my husband's job. YES I'm kidding, but it is kind of fun to watch Joe get all twitchy when I tell him that.

Now.....YOU.....go forth and comment. Yep, I am looking at YOU

Crawdads and Tadpoles and Lizards oh MY

2009-06-01T10:39:00.006-04:00

So I generally pride myself on being an indoor type of girl. I don't so much enjoy hiking, or bugs, or getting dirty. Yes, I know, we went camping last weekend....but we slept inside, NOT in a tent...and I went potty in my mom's camper....but I digress.

Yesterday we took the kids to the park (an acceptable outdoor activity) and prior to leaving we cut through a little trail down to the creek (or crick as I like to call it). Down at the creek was a family who CLEARLY enjoyed the outdoors catching all sorts of river nastiness. My kids, not being used to creek critters were fascinated by all of this while I on the other hand was fascinated by the fact that one of their kids was sporting a rat tail....I have not seen one of those since about 1985.

This family had an entire aquarium full of THESE. I will wait until you are finished screaming

I asked the guy who's finger that nasty thing was stuck to what they were planning to do with all of those things and he told me they were going to eat them. And I almost threw up. Before the nasty critters met a boiling end my kids got to touch them...and by kids I mean Pierce. Mallory thought they were super gross, would get close to one and then squeal the the little girl she is and run away. That's my girl. She did touch the tadpole which impressed me. I was not sure what they planned to do with him and I truly did not want to know. They also had a tiny little salamander that Pierce held. He was actually kind of cute.

So here are a few pics from our accidental science lesson. After we left I hosed both of them down in antibacterial gel so they did not catch some unknown strand of critter flu.

On another note....did you Twilight lovers catch the New Moon trailer. Holy crap!! I have watched it about 100 times already. I have not watched the MTV Movie awards in YEARS but I actually stuck around for the entire thing (only to see Edward) and I totally LMAO at Borat putting him bum in Eminem's face. That. Was. Hysterical.

Sally Hanson.....she IS your friend

2009-05-29T09:43:00.007-04:00

Amy my dear, this post is for you.....since I know you looooooove woman with facial hair.

Dear Lord I needed to pour bleach in my eyes before I even made it to my desk this morning. I rode the elevator up this morning with 2 people who had fairly identical mustaches. One was a guy with some upper lip fuzz, one was a girl with some upper lip fuzz.

Now before I go any further let me explain. I am not talking about the peach fuzz that most of us women are inflicted with, the kind that can either be bleached into obscurity or removed with a quick strip of wax. I am talking full on STACHE.

It was like a train wreck I tell you. I could not help myself to NOT look. When I was telling my friend who sits next to me she is all, "I think I know who you mean, does she wear glasses?" I honestly could not tell her because I could not look away from the caterpillar sitting on her face.

Seriously....how can you NOT look at that and realize that as a woman you should not have that much hair on your upper lip. There is no possible way she does not see that she looks like a 70's porn star. I know it is genetic and all but they MAKE STUFF FOR THAT. Anyone who works here can afford a $5.99 box of THIS.

I would even be happy to share my brow lady if it means never having to see that again in the workplace.

Wal-Mart yes, work NO.

DO OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-28T08:33:00.007-04:00

Yes class it is 8:33AM and I need to start all over. I get in my car this morning with my children in PLENTY of time to make it to work on time. This alone is reason to cheer. I glance down and remember THIS

Oh yeah, I need gas. No big deal, we pass a station right on the way to daycare. Off we go listening to the merry tunes of Veggie Tales singing about letting your light shine. We pull into the gas station, I reach into my bag and ~~pull out my wallet~~cant find my wallet. sigh. I must have left it at home. Which is annoying but not a HUGE deal since home is about 5 minutes away. I'm going to be a few minutes late to work.

Get home, dogs are going nuts, look around.....no wallet.

I'm going to be a little bit more late to work.

Call myself at work. Self does not pick up (duh) but co-worker does. "Hey co-worker, is my wallet on my desk? It is? Well that is just FANTASTIC because I need gas and don't have my debit card....I'm going to be ~~a lot~~a little bit late to work

Call Joe. This is his fault. Don't ask how, it just is. Yes, I DO realize how lucky he is to have me thankyouverymuch. Ask Joe where super secret gas card is hidden so that if I even make it back to the gas station I don't have to make out with the guy behind the counter (again) to get gas. I am going to be ~~fairly~~late to work.

Armed with the gas card I say a prayer that I make it to the gas station and fill up. I'm starting to get mildly annoyed at all the extra steps in my morning which is about the same time that Pierce decides to ask me questions like "How do you make wood?" and "Why are roofs called roofs?"

Get to day care and say a silent prayer that I keep my military ID (the one that allows me on base) in my car so that I don't have to go to the front gate and make out with the cop (again) to get in. Have I mentioned that I am going to be ~~really~~ late to work

Dropping Mallory off in her class is not a quick process. She does fine but I have to say good bye to her through the window when I pass her class to take Pierce to his, and AGAIN when I walk back out....the 2nd time involves kissy faces through the glass. Everyday.

Reminding myself not to speed as I do not have my license on me I head to work. By this point I am sweating like a hooker in confession and really just want to go back to bed. Get to work, and manage to wrangle up $.80 so that I do not have to make out with the girl at the cafeteria (again) for coffee. Seriously wish that I had something to spike said coffee with.

All in all I was only 20 minutes late to work.

Yeah Me

Goose Rage?

2009-05-27T09:38:00.007-04:00

We all know about (or even suffer from) road rage. I know I have been guilty of spewing some not so nice words or flipping a finger on occasion. When I received the following news story from Heather I proceeded to, alternately giggle and then feeling bad for giggling. This man I believe suffers from Goose Rage. Not to be confused with Post Traumatic Goose Disorder which is what I am afflicted with.

Please read the following with a grain of salt...I will put some of my own thoughts in but I don't REALLY endorse cruelty to animals....yes, even geese, which I barely consider an animal.

In Warren County, a sheriff's deputy is under investigation for beating a Canada goose to death. oh, a dead goose....awesome my favorite kind

It was along Columbia Road in Deerfield Township where, at about 10 a.m.
Sunday, Lisa and Artie Kuhn spotted an injured Canada goose.

Lisa called 911, hoping to get the bird some help. what a good Samaritan, I probably would have ran it over to put it out of it's misery......what?? I'm just thinking of the goose

A Warren County sheriff's deputy responded, but the Kuhn family never expected what came next. can you hear the suspenseful music kicking in? What happens next, I have to know

"He raised his club up and began to beat it in front of me and my children and in front of people driving by with minivans full of children" said Lisa Kuhn. "I started screaming, Stop, you don't need to do that, he's not that badly injured!, and he would not relent." ohhhhh, SNAP. Way to kill my buzz here I was enjoying a tale of a soon to be dead goose and now it is ruined with actual animal cruelty.

"And he just kept on beating the goose," said Artie Kuhn, her husband. "And it didn't seem to do any good, so he stepped on his neck with his boot and strangled it, and he was holding his wings down with his club." have to admit....I snickered here just a bit....come on people PICTURE it....

All that's left now are a few feathers on the side of the road. seriously? This is a bit dramatic

Euthanizing a wounded animal is protocol for Warren County Sheriff's Deputies. and by euthanize they mean beat into a pile of feathers?

The Kuhn family is just asking whether there's a better way. They say some warning would've also been nice so their three-year-old didn't have to see the beating. way to pull the kid card, could you not have, ummm, I don't know....driven away?

"Blunt force trauma is what they call it to euthanize the animal ? and I want the policy to change, I want a written apology from him," said Lisa Kuhn. I'm sure this will be brought up at the next town hall meeting

The Warren County Sheriff's Office released a statement saying "the complaint regarding the deputy's actions is being investigated and there will be no further comment until the investigation is complete." or until they stop laughing

Wendy Carroll, who witnessed the incident, says she supports the officer. no, my name is not Wendy Carroll

"This isn't the area to shoot it, so he had to use something and he knew what he had to do and I believe that's what he did, said Carroll. so there

Thank you much Heather for the news story. I appreciate any and all opportunities to spread my hatred of geese through the blogging community!

Camping Recap

2009-05-26T08:24:00.006-04:00

We had a most awesome time camping this past weekend! I was a bit nervous as to how her majesty would behave since she is not a fan of water, bugs or dirt but she had a wonderful time as well! I was SUPER annoyed to realize that I had forgotten my GOOD camera but I did have my other little camera in my purse so I was able to at least get SOME pics.

We had a bit of drama when we first arrived which proved (again) that wives are WAY smarter than husbands. I had been nagging Joe for months now to go and practice popping the camper up again prior to us actually taking it camping. In true man style he assured me that it would not be an issue. Guess what. It was an issue. He finally figured it out and we were able to get our ~~mansion~~ pop-up set up. I only made one comment like "Wow, maybe we should have practiced this earlier....just sayin"

I probably gained 10lbs over the course of the weekend thanks to really good dinners, and let's not forget the s'mores.....YUM. The kids swam (well, Pierce swam, Mallory allowed herself to get a little bit wet)and pretty much ran around that campground like they owned it. We were set up right across from the park so I was able to be mother of the year and sit my butt in a chair and read while I watched them play.

There was also a beach close by and we were thinking about visiting until I heard someone mention it was crowded with GEESE. I suspected there would be some close by....keeping their evil little goose eyes on me. Would you believe I can even toss a Twilight story into a camping story? While I was sitting outside of my mom's camper I heard the distinct sound that is "Bella's Lullaby" playing from the camper next door. I will admit that I hoped for one hot second that the Cullens were ~~hunting~~ camping next to us and my Edward was taking a piano break but alas....it was a woman with her iPod driving her spouse nuts to the tunes of the Twilight soundtrack. Ahhhh yes....Twilight fans are everywhere.....All in all I would give our weekend an A+. We don't get to go again until August due to vacations and Joe's work schedule but Pierce at least will get to go with my mom a few more times

Into The Wilderness I Go.....

2009-05-22T09:00:00.005-04:00

First off I feel the need to apologize for the suck-age that was yesterday's post. I am in the middle of some sibling related family drama and was just not myself yesterday and probably should not have posted at all. I will do my best to keep you from such crap in the future.

So, this weekend is our first venture out into ~~a really nice campground~~ the wilderness. We will pitch our ~~tent~~ pop-up that we acquired earlier this year and live ~~off of the land~~ out of our mini fridge. We will eat ~~what we catch~~ steak, chicken and burgers and drink ~~out of the river~~ lots of wine and beer. We will ~~try not to succumb to the elements~~ turn on the a/c so we don't get hot.

It may come as a surprise to some of you that I am spending the weekend in such squalor. I am generally known to be kind of an indoor girl....however I do actually enjoy camping having made lots of childhood memories doing so. We are taking the dog...the one who hates you (don't be offended, she hates everyone) which should be a treat and sending the OTHER dog (the one who would like Charles Mansion) to puppy camp for the weekend. The kids will have a blast and if it storms I plan to head to the next site over and sleep in my mom's insanely large motor home. The one with the potty.

I may not be around bloggy-land this weekend, I may try and *gasp* go without my laptop....hope you all have a fantastic weekend!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2009-05-21T08:31:00.002-04:00

That was pretty much my opinion of Idol's ending last night.

I love Adam.....I know he will still be very successful and go far.

Kris is good, but Idol has already put out other winners with his style and I was hoping to see a new style. I will not decide to love him even though I have since been made aware that his wife is an AOII too.

Fergie was awesome, Kiss was awesome....Steve Martin.....along with that God awful song....not awesome.

I had much fun twittering during the show.....even though Patrice told me that I was old.....really, she did......uh huh......

What did you think?