Thursday, April 30, 2009

Temper Tantrums 101

My daughter will be three soon. I am learning that one thing that is worse than a 2 year old little girl is a 3 year old little girl. I say GIRL because Pierce only minored in toddler attitude while Mallory is working on her masters.

Don't get me wrong....Pierce had his moments....still does....but I realizing that the drama that comes with raising a daughter is WAY different than raising a son.

Pierce was never one to throw actual temper tantrums. He would get mad and cry but he never really did the whole throw yourself on the ground and act like you are being set on fire. I got off pretty easy with him. Yeah, that was lucky for me....but at the same time it did not prepare me for what was to come.

Mallory is an ENTIRE different breed of child than her brother. She may be small but she is mighty. One of the blogs that I read (darnit, I know you are here but I cannot remember who it was) mentioned yesterday the art of going boneless (Kristina, this definition is for you)....you know....when a child is so pissed off that when you try and pick them up and move them they go entirely limp usually causing them to slip out of your hands and back onto the floor. This cracked me up because Mallory could write a book on how to do this. Another of my toddler favorites is when they are so pissed of about something that when you try and put them in their car seat and they don't want to leave the park/the zoo/grandma's house that they do the OPPOSITE of going boneless which is what I like to call the 2 by 4. As in imagine trying to make a 2 by 4 sit properly in a car seat to strap them in. This also kind of resembles someone who looks like they are in need of an exorcism.

Mallory's temper tantrums are usually worthy of a Grammy. Now, princess is not going to THROW herself on the floor.....she is not dumb....she does not want to get hurt. While most kids crumble to the floor like they have been shot MY kid will gracefully lay down and THEN proceed to freak out. For up to 30 minutes. I have found that they ONLY thing to do when she gets like this....is walk away. Sometimes I will put her in her room and close the door. She knows that once she is done throwing her fit, when she is ready, she can come out. Every few minutes I will ask her......"Sissy, are you done?" and she will shriek NO and continue on. I walk away. The part that gets me is that when she IS done it is like a fricking light switch. She turns it off in a millisecond and will say....."I'm done" It is mind boggling.

While she is learning how to throw tantrums I am learning how to avoid them. I know what her triggers are for the most part. One thing that can surly get her panties twisted is me having done something that SHE wants to do....such as put her socks on, or open the cabinet to get something out. I must IMMEDIATELY put whatever it is BACK the way it was and let HER do it. I can tell you that this is SO fricking annoying....especially in the morning when I want to get them out the door. It is however way easier to pull the socks BACK off and let her do it then deal with "the performance" Ahhhh, independence. She has been known to CLOSE the cabinet door....take a few steps back and then walk back up to it and open it herself.....thus acting like she had done it all along.

I know that this drama is a phase and that eventually we will move into a new one.

I fear the teenage years.

28 people fed my need for attention:

Anonymous

LOL @ "MY kid will gracefully lay down " I think I was that kid... My poor mother...

Sally's World

oh the memories of a three year old 'madam's' tantrums...wait until shes four, she'll want to take over the house, think she's mum and reprimand you for anyhting you do!!!!!

I really don't miss the tantrums, but i miss the hands on hips telling offs we all got...not that I'd admit that to my darling daughter!!!

sometimes i think walking away is the best thing....after all, no attention...no point in going for that emmy!!!

Ashlee

Caleb is all drama... Always has been. Now when we see a tantrum coming he gets sent to his room. It only takes a minute or two for him to calm down because he isn't getting any attention.

Hopefully Georgia Kate won't follow in his footsteps!

E @ Scottsville

I count my blessings that none of mine every had temper tantrums. I'll brag that it was my expert parenting, but alas, I know that's a crock! =0)

Trust me, mine had 'other' things that did and still do make me want to pull every last little hair out of my head.

Yea, teenage years. They are SOOOO fun. NOT!!!

Anonymous

Oh goodness. My son has been doing that lately. Yes my son. He wants to make his own lunch, but you see he does not get up darn fast enough and I make it so I can get out the door. He melts down! UGH! I dread the teenage years as my daughter is already starting to say "I hate my life"

Martha@A Sense of Humor is Essential

The terrible threes still strike fear in my husband and my heart. That sounds like a great technique to just walk away.

Kristina P.

As you should, my friend, as you should.

But I was a hellion at that age, and I was actually a very good teenager.

Dani

LOL You know I've actually heard that the way your child acts at the age of three is a little preview to their behavior as teens. So, take notes on what works now for her personality and keep it for when she's a teen- just applying it to greater things. Now it's all simple things like putting on socks- but the teen will be angry if you did other things for her, you know what I mean. Anywho- just something to think about. :)

queenbee4

yeah. girls are fierce. As my grandmother used to say.... "Don't worry about this phase, the next one's worse."

Angel Ginger Jasper

Yes totaly agree. I have one of each , now grown and girls sure are worse. You do so right to fear the teenage years lol. But on the bright side, the terrible twos and the terrible teans, both ass and peace returns.


Carol

Denise

Oh I'd so much rather the little people tantrums than the teenage woes. I've got kids here ranging from 3 to 15... and let me just say, teens throw tantrums in a completely different way... they "forget" to do their chores and then "whine" when they don't get money. They blare music, go through ridiculous clothing/hair/makeup styles, want things pierced that shouldn't be and have some ignorant idea that a brand new car of their dreams is going to magically find it's way to your driveway immediately upon turning 16. Haha FAT CHANCE!

Me (aka Danielle)

I love the terms..going boneless of the 2x4. I have totally experienced these..on numerous occassions. Now I have a name to put to them.

Mommy of M's

My 3 year old is out.of.control. He is driving us crazy!!

He's all about the 'I wanted to do it' crap, which means I have to un-do something that he then redoes. That wastes time, and I get crabby when time gets wasted! AAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!

I have a couple GIVEAWAYS this week!

Anonymous

I am so glad my kids are done with the toddler years, unfortunately they are pre-teens now and I dont think it is much better.

The Rambler

Can I come over and bring my almost 3 year old?

We can have coffee while they do their master's thesis together on TT Advance Writing Course. :)

Oh, and yes. Me and the kid with the 2x4 at the store. We struggled. People probably thought I was abusing her.

Ginger

Cammie
Once again you cracked me up. I have a 21 year old who goes to the University of South Florida in Tampa that is actually showing adult behavior and attitudes!! On the other hand, I have a seventeen year old junior in high school (son) that I can tell there is not enough wine in the world to help me deal with!! I am just hoping one day he will follow his brother's lead and grow up!! Have a great weekend....

Megan

Oh Mallory. How she cracks me UP! I would LOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEE to be a fly on your wall! heehee

rozzissweetpeas

ha, ha, ha...my dgs did that today when I had to tell him it was time to go home to his mommies house. He went boneless and it took me and my honey to pick him up off the mat at Mcdonalds...thanks for the comment on my blog. hugs rozzi

Anonymous

I just put the code anywhere in the body section... I believe. It's been a while since I've changed layouts, so I don't remember EXACTLY. But, I believe that's right.

Kami

Ah, I was just about to write a quickie blog about my daughter's recent histrionics at the doctor's office this week. And she's not even 18 months yet. Good Lord, what do I have to look forward to?!? It cracks me up though that Mallory lays herself down gracefully first before proceeding to kick and scream!

jmt

I think you've already found the biggest obstacle. Doing the things they feel they can do successfully and independently makes them feel good...so doing it FOR them is a bad move. :) I wish you luck. I don't have the patience to walk away and ignore....I grab their face and give them the meanest look they'll ever see. It typically cuts the time down from 15-20 minutes to five sniffling/gulping minutes.

Melissa

Yes. Little girls are so much fun. Tantrums and all. They get even better when they hit the teenage years. Just you wait and see.

Dawn Parsons Smith

My sweet friend...I feel your pain....it gets fine tuned as they get older....just wait until she's 6....oh yeah...then they really turn it on! lol!

Anonymous

OMG!!!!!!!! I laughed so hard reading this that my husband actually came in and said "hon, you ok?" hahahahaha!!

Anonymous

All not so is simple, as it seems

Anonymous

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Anonymous

You were mistaken, it is obvious.

Anonymous

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